When I was 21, it was a very good snark

[Fenris]

Old thread (http://www.giraffeboards.com/showthread.php?t=27120&page=20)

Snark away!

[Pencil]

You suck at naming snark threads. You had a lot of opportunities to do something clever and yet you kinda reverted to thread #18.

[Guinastasia]

From a thread about 50 Shades Of Grey -

I assume it has something to do with bondage, but really, that book is porn. I picked up a copy at B&N, flipped to a random page, and nearly shrieked, "NIPPLE CLAMPS??" out loud.


Someone get Farmer Pain to her fainting couch! OMG NIPPLE CLAMPS HOW DISTURBING.

Although I now have a strong desire to shout "NIPPLE CLAMPS??" in inappropriate places, but I'm not sure how to pronounce the second question mark.



What the hell does she think "bondage" is? Unless she thought it was about finance.

[Mr. Plumbean]

Objectively speaking, my title was way better.

[Fenris]

You suck at naming snark threads. You had a lot of opportunities to do something clever and yet you kinda reverted to thread #18.

I don't write 'em, I use the suggestions in the Snark thread. My suggestion was "When I was 21, it was a very good snark" and that's why I chose to use it.

Don't like the titles? Make suggestions in the thread next time.

[Lion's Share]

I don't write 'em, I use the suggestions in the Snark thread. My suggestion was "When I was 21, it was a very good snark".


See, I really liked that one; it made me laugh. I could have imagined ol' Blue Eyes crooning every time I saw it.

Don't listen to the haters, Fenris! :fist:

[SmartAleq]

You suck at naming snark threads. You had a lot of opportunities to do something clever and yet you kinda reverted to thread #18.

I don't write 'em, I use the suggestions in the Snark thread. My suggestion was "When I was 21, it was a very good snark".

Don't like the titles? Make suggestions in the thread next time.

Ripped off my suggestion for 17. :flip:

[Tuckerfan]

You suck at naming snark threads. You had a lot of opportunities to do something clever and yet you kinda reverted to thread #18.

I'm beginning to think he's kin to Zotti. Once is an honest mistake, this many times? Its either deliberate or incompetence.

[Dangermouse]

I don't write 'em, I use the suggestions in the Snark thread. My suggestion was "When I was 21, it was a very good snark".
Good Lord, are you a jackbooted Mod and a :fenris: or aren't you? Stand up for your convictions, man!

[SurlyOldBroad]

I would like to be able to quote from other threads please. :mad:

Anyway...
Yes, it didn't go unnoticed that you and Jamie might have had just a teeny-weeny flirtation going on in the 'How You Doin'?' thread.Child, please. But if he did want to come to Chicago and be my designated driver, I'd let him. You should see how much I pay in cab fare. You should see it!

[Fenris]

I don't write 'em, I use the suggestions in the Snark thread. My suggestion was "When I was 21, it was a very good snark".
Good Lord, are you a jackbooted Mod and a :fenris: or aren't you? Stand up for your convictions, man!

I always do. I don't know what those other people were talking about. I assume psychedelic mushrooms were involved.

[Salambo]

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=663209

Okay, this is the same guy who flounced off of this board because he got one automated email (he could have turned off) from Giraffe Boards during our annual charity drive.

[Tuco Salamanca]

From a thread about 50 Shades Of Grey -



Someone get Farmer Pain to her fainting couch! OMG NIPPLE CLAMPS HOW DISTURBING.

Although I now have a strong desire to shout "NIPPLE CLAMPS??" in inappropriate places, but I'm not sure how to pronounce the second question mark.



What the hell does she think "bondage" is? Unless she thought it was about finance.

If it doesn't involve a free dinner, FarmerPained isn't interested.

[Fenris]

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=663209

Okay, this is the same guy who flounced off of this board because he got one automated email (he could have turned off) from Giraffe Boards during our annual charity drive.

He's the same guy who just tried to get a new rule instated saying that mods should have to back up weenies who play the standard Durp "Cite?!" game.

[ryevermouthbitters]

I would like to be able to quote from other threads please. :mad:

Anyway...
Yes, it didn't go unnoticed that you and Jamie might have had just a teeny-weeny flirtation going on in the 'How You Doin'?' thread.Child, please. But if he did want to come to Chicago and be my designated driver, I'd let him. You should see how much I pay in cab fare. You should see it!

A para designated driver would be the best thing evar. "Sir, I smell alcohol in the vehicle. Can you step out of the car?" "Actually, no."

[eleanorigby]

How do I have 7 mutual "friends" with Opal Cat on FB? (it keeps asking me if I want to be friends) Somewhat OT, but how does one get rid of such a thing w/o first friending her. PM me, so we don't distract from the snark. Thanks.

[Doc Gonzo]

I would like to be able to quote from other threads please. :mad:

Anyway...
Yes, it didn't go unnoticed that you and Jamie might have had just a teeny-weeny flirtation going on in the 'How You Doin'?' thread.Child, please. But if he did want to come to Chicago and be my designated driver, I'd let him. You should see how much I pay in cab fare. You should see it!

I volunteered to be SOB's DD but she had the interview in a bar and we ended up having to get a cab ;-/

[Dudley]

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=663209

Okay, this is the same guy who flounced off of this board because he got one automated email (he could have turned off) from Giraffe Boards during our annual charity drive.

He's the same guy who just tried to get a new rule instated saying that mods should have to back up weenies who play the standard Durp "Cite?!" game.

HEY! That's a god damned celebrity you're bashing. He won that contest that the Scattertooth, Wisconsin Evening Gazette held like 5 years ago about forming the letter Q or something. I don't remember. But what's important is that whatever it was, he did it the BEST! Give credit where credit's due, you bastard.

[Dudley]

How do I have 7 mutual "friends" with Opal Cat on FB? (it keeps asking me if I want to be friends) Somewhat OT, but how does one get rid of such a thing w/o first friending her. PM me, so we don't distract from the snark. Thanks.

Mouse over her name and move the mouse slowly to the right. A little grey X will appear. Click it. No more OpalCat pusher.

[eleanorigby]

How do I have 7 mutual "friends" with Opal Cat on FB? (it keeps asking me if I want to be friends) Somewhat OT, but how does one get rid of such a thing w/o first friending her. PM me, so we don't distract from the snark. Thanks.

Mouse over her name and move the mouse slowly to the right. A little grey X will appear. Click it. No more OpalCat pusher.

You are a wonder and marvel and an outstanding young man. Next time FB tries to force her on me, I shall do exactly this. THANK YOU!

[Detroit Hoser]

Yeah, she kept popping up in my side feed, too. I fucking hate when Facebook tells me who I should add as a "friend." So I wished her into the cornfield.

[wring]

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=663209

Okay, this is the same guy who flounced off of this board because he got one automated email (he could have turned off) from Giraffe Boards during our annual charity drive.

bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha



gasp


hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

[wring]

How do I have 7 mutual "friends" with Opal Cat on FB? (it keeps asking me if I want to be friends) Somewhat OT, but how does one get rid of such a thing w/o first friending her. PM me, so we don't distract from the snark. Thanks.

some one added her to the riff raff group I think. Plus there's a serious overlap of these boards.

[Half-Man/Half-French]

A para designated driver would be the best thing evar. "Sir, I smell alcohol in the vehicle. Can you step out of the car?"
Jamie: "What's your problem, fucker, cant you see I'm disabled?! Cant you read the fucking "D.I.S.A.B.L.E.D." sign on the fucking windshield?! Ok, I'm gonna take a shit right here, right now."
MeanOldLady:"Hey, that's my car..."

FTFY

[Guinastasia]

Big surprise (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15425557&postcount=47). :rolleyes:

[eleanorigby]

Yeah, she kept popping up in my side feed, too. I fucking hate when Facebook tells me who I should add as a "friend." So I wished her into the cornfield.

She popped up again and I clicked her into a oblivion. Man that felt GOOD. Too good, really. I need to get out more.

[Fenris]

Obviously, I can't post this there (and it would be threadshitting if I did), but I'd love to say: (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=15425557#post15425557)


I want you all to reread the book, and this time, pay attention. You will be graded!

Or, conversely, rather than rereading a terrible novel looking for subtle nuances that aren't there, you could ditch the book, go out into the sunshine and meet a real human person who you have a real human relationship with.

[eleanorigby]

Big surprise (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15425557&postcount=47). :rolleyes:

I find that creepy. It's an attempt to be funny about a stupid (I think it's stupid) book, but IMO the attempt fails and he just sounds like a cross between "get off my lawn!" and "piss poor attempt at dominating his sexual partner".


And please, please spare me from "the love of a good woman" memes.

[Chacoguy]

Words fail me. (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15424601&postcount=1)

[Tuco Salamanca]

I don't think this even qualifies as snark anymore; it's just the default attitude of the Dope. Noob dares to suggest an (admittedly ugly) update to the look of the site, and long-time posters act like he pissed directly into their mouths.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=663316

Best comment: "If there's an aesthetic this place should aim for, it's academic journal / alt weekly. Not glossy tabloid."

Yes, an academic journal where you can discuss your blackhead popping with rigorous peer review.

[Mr. Plumbean]

I suggested once that they have a "current events" type forum for threads that weren't asking for a debate but weren't mundane/pointless. I would have had less flack if I'd posted a video of me roasting and eating a puppy and the ASPCA boards. Eventually they added a forum ("Elections") with an explanation similar to my request in ATMB and everybody clapped Ed on the back and said it was brilliant and thoughtful. But I guess they still don't understand that things can be a non-mundane non-debate that's not about art or sports or Chicago.

Anyway, yeah. At this point any suggested change is treated with a condescending hostility you'd expect from backwoods hillbillies being told that the Kentucky Fried Possum franchise is getting leveled in favor of a vegan sushi restaurant.

[Beastly Rotter]

Obviously, I can't post this there (and it would be threadshitting if I did), but I'd love to say: (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=15425557#post15425557)


I want you all to reread the book, and this time, pay attention. You will be graded!

Or, conversely, rather than rereading a terrible novel looking for subtle nuances that aren't there, you could ditch the book, go out into the sunshine and meet a real human person who you have a real human relationship with.

Then can I tie them up?

[Tuco Salamanca]

Lynn punched the strongest man in the world, probably an Olympian of some stripe:

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15426468&postcount=15

(Okay, I admit it. I am a bad person.)

[Guinastasia]

This is Evil Captor we're talking about. I believe at one point he had to be told to ratchet back the BDSM talk. I'm guessing he only read the sex parts.

[hajario]

This is Evil Captor we're talking about. I believe at one point he had to be told to ratchet back the BDSM talk. I'm guessing he only read the sex parts.

From what I have heard, that entire novel is sex parts. It was practically made for him.

[ulfhjorr]

I'm a Doper (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=663251), so either (a) I don't actually own a front door or (b) I don't know how to use it.

[Giraffe]

I would like to be able to quote from other threads please. :mad:
What we could do is leave the old ones open and then move any posts that get made after the new one is opened from there to here, so people could use the quote buttons. But, you'll have to remind Fenris to do it. And don't forget, he's mad with power. So...good luck with that.

But if you PM me, or remind me in-thread, I'll do it. Don't tell Fenris.

[thigh high socking]

Obviously, I can't post this there (and it would be threadshitting if I did), but I'd love to say: (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=15425557#post15425557)


I want you all to reread the book, and this time, pay attention. You will be graded!

Or, conversely, rather than rereading a terrible novel looking for subtle nuances that aren't there, you could ditch the book, go out into the sunshine and meet a real human person who you have a real human relationship with.

It is worse than just a terrible novel, it is twilight fanfic. For real.

[Beastly Rotter]

I deeply regret that I only have one lifetime during which to read, because I'll never be able to read everything I want to. ( http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=662814)

I deeply regret that I only have one bucket in which to hurl.

[eleanorigby]

Hurl? Only if I can hurl things AT him. What a tool. And none too bright at that. According to him, someone who has read Harry Potter or Twilight can't possibly have read John Irving (as if Irving is some fantastic author in his own right). :rolleyes:

Gosh, some of us read literary novels AND "trash". (and let us be clear: some of it IS trash).

So what?

[Mr. Plumbean]

Yeah, and Asimov is widely read BY children. He's a big thinker, but his books are very accessible. Irving is a great storyteller, but decidedly middle-brow.

But while I dislike literary snobbery, I also dislike the "reading is just a hobby, no different than jacking off to pron!" counter argument. Yeah, right.

I saved my reply just to answer his stupid assumption that nobody who reads YA reads anything else.

[Mr. Plumbean]

nm

[MsWisher]

I don't think this even qualifies as snark anymore; it's just the default attitude of the Dope. Noob dares to suggest an (admittedly ugly) update to the look of the site, and long-time posters act like he pissed directly into their mouths.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=663316

Best comment: "If there's an aesthetic this place should aim for, it's academic journal / alt weekly. Not glossy tabloid."

Yes, an academic journal where you can discuss your blackhead popping with rigorous peer review.

The Oakminster side show is definitely the award winner in this thread.

[Dangermouse]

But while I dislike literary snobbery, I also dislike the "reading is just a hobby, no different than jacking off to pron!" counter argument. Yeah, right.

At least my porn is imported by hand from the farthest reaches of Sexlandia, as opposed to that lowbrow stuff hoi polloi gets from Skinmax.

[Wolf Larsen]

But is it fair trade, free range porn?

[Mr. Plumbean]

At least my porn is imported by hand from the farthest reaches of Sexlandia, as opposed to that lowbrow stuff hoi polloi gets from Skinmax.
I went through that phase in my mid 20s.

[The Futility of Nihilism]

Gosh, some of us read literary novels AND "trash". (and let us be clear: some of it IS trash).
And furthermore I think there's room to disagree on which is which. I read Wuthering Heights in high school and my English teacher went on and on about how wonderful it was. Personally I think it's absolute garbage, but hey, each to his or her own, ya know?

[Mr. Plumbean]

Think, or thought? Have you read it since high school?

[Dangermouse]

But is it fair trade, free range porn?

*scoffs* Of course. I wouldn't want my alone-time contaminated by mass-produced oversaturated tripe.

[Tuco Salamanca]

I don't know about Fair Trade, but mine is cage-free. Which is more than EvilCaptor can say.

[The Futility of Nihilism]

Think, or thought? Have you read it since high school?
Oh, Heathcliff! :: swoons ::

Seriously, I have zero interest in debating what is great literature vs. absolute trash in a durp snack thread. Suffice to say people can agree to disagree.

[Mr. Plumbean]

It's not agreeing/disagreeing about what is "great literature," just wondering if you'd read it since. If I'd made up my mind about everything I read in high school and college, I wouldn't have many of my favorite writers, including Melville, Hawthorne, and Kafka.

I do think Wuthering Heights is a great novel, but I wouldn't expect teens to grok it.

[Lion's Share]

I don't think this even qualifies as snark anymore; it's just the default attitude of the Dope. Noob dares to suggest an (admittedly ugly) update to the look of the site, and long-time posters act like he pissed directly into their mouths.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=663316

Best comment: "If there's an aesthetic this place should aim for, it's academic journal / alt weekly. Not glossy tabloid."

Yes, an academic journal where you can discuss your blackhead popping with rigorous peer review.

The Oakminster side show is definitely the award winner in this thread.

I thought Oakminster was kinda a dick in that thread, but yikes: this (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15428454&postcount=84) would truly be cruel and unusual punishment. :astonished:

[Bosstone]

The Oakminster side show is definitely the award winner in this thread.

I thought Oakminster was kinda a dick in that thread, but yikes: this (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15428454&postcount=84) would truly be cruel and unusual punishment. :astonished:Oakminster is always a dick. He's not as blatant about his obnoxiousness as some others, but he's a self-aggrandizing Internet Tough Guy to the core.

[Tuco Salamanca]

I'm not surprised Oakminster and Czarcasm hate each other. They are the only two poeple hanging out in the IRC chat room #wannabemodsSDMB.

[nonny101]

Oakminster must really hate Czarcasm for stealing all those chances to be a mod away from him. I bet he truly went into a blind rage in real life every time Czarcasm was reinstated.

[elmwood]

Best comment: "If there's an aesthetic this place should aim for, it's academic journal / alt weekly. Not glossy tabloid."

Yes, an academic journal where you can discuss your blackhead popping with rigorous peer review.

That's to be expected, considering all the avatar threads where people chime in to say things are too cluttered as it is, and that they'd prefer an interface resembling a dial-up BBS from 1983.

I understand the sentiment of the newbies that wonder why the SDMB seems so austere, or wondering about the lack of avatars. They don't help their cause when they inevitably point to cluttered, blocky, high-contrast Web 1.5-ish sites as examples of what's ideal. It only reinforces the black-and-white mindset of many Dopers; there's no middle ground between plain styles and X-TREEM gamer clan themes.

For all my complaints about the SDMB, I don't have a problem with the style. Like I said in the thread, it's difficult to create an elegant Web 2.0-ish style with vBulletin's templating system. The SDMB's style is a decent compromise that offers a distinct identity while remaining uncluttered enough to keep the Bearded Ones mostly complacent.

[Fenris]

I thought Oakminster was kinda a dick in that thread, but yikes: this (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15428454&postcount=84) would truly be cruel and unusual punishment. :astonished:Oakminster is always a dick. He's not as blatant about his obnoxiousness as some others, but he's a self-aggrandizing Internet Tough Guy to the core.

And a whiney little bitch at the same time.

He quit the SDMB twice and Dumbo at least once--because of pretty much nothing.

[Giraffe]

I'm not surprised Oakminster and Czarcasm hate each other. They are the only two poeple hanging out in the IRC chat room #wannabemodsSDMB.

No one will give me the password. :sciencefail:

[Popinki]

psst... it's "snugglemuffins."

[Tuco Salamanca]

Someone already linked to this thread, but it's taken a turn for the worse.

I'm trying to decide which is more disgusting: statutorily raping a retarded 13-year-old, or high-fiving the guy who did.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=661026

Belowjob2.0 has really shown a lot of class.

[Beastly Rotter]

Hurl? Only if I can hurl things AT him. What a tool. And none too bright at that. According to him, someone who has read Harry Potter or Twilight can't possibly have read John Irving (as if Irving is some fantastic author in his own right).

She can stare at the walls and finger paint with her own dribble, for all I care, but her OP sounds like it placed fourth in a 10th grade speech competition about My Hobbies and Interests.

[Guinastasia]

To be fair, he said she was sixteen, (although that's still not conclusive)

I like BigT's, "it's not HIS fault she lied!" Asshole, sure, blame the girl. (And it's not like that excuse hasn't been used before. "Officer, I swear, she said she was 18!")

The guy still gives me the fucking creeps. (BPC, that is)

[Beastly Rotter]

Memo to self: share nothing with grude...

MY MOM HAS ASS CANCER FROM BUTTSEX ITS A SECRET (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15428582&postcount=9)

[Tuco Salamanca]

To be fair, he said she was sixteen, (although that's still not conclusive)

I like BigT's, "it's not HIS fault she lied!" Asshole, sure, blame the girl. (And it's not like that excuse hasn't been used before. "Officer, I swear, she said she was 18!")

The guy still gives me the fucking creeps. (BPC, that is)

Actually, BPC claims the mom told him, "She's not 15 like she told you." Implying that she's 14 or younger. Of course, there's about a 99% chance that BPC "the Granny Shagger" is full of shit, but it doesn't make the thread any less repulsive.

[Tuco Salamanca]

Memo to self: share nothing with grude...

MY MOM HAS ASS CANCER FROM BUTTSEX ITS A SECRET (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15428582&postcount=9)

You think that's bad, I have to explain to grude how I got penile cancer.

[Guinastasia]

To be fair, he said she was sixteen, (although that's still not conclusive)

I like BigT's, "it's not HIS fault she lied!" Asshole, sure, blame the girl. (And it's not like that excuse hasn't been used before. "Officer, I swear, she said she was 18!")

The guy still gives me the fucking creeps. (BPC, that is)

Actually, BPC claims the mom told him, "She's not 15 like she told you." Implying that she's 14 or younger. Of course, there's about a 99% chance that BPC "the Granny Shagger" is full of shit, but it doesn't make the thread any less repulsive.


I know that, but he thought she was 16 WHEN they were getting it on. I'm not defending the guy -- he's still a creep, but I'll give him a wee bit of a pass for being an insanely stupid one.

[expectopatronum]

To be fair, he said she was sixteen, (although that's still not conclusive)

I like BigT's, "it's not HIS fault she lied!" Asshole, sure, blame the girl. (And it's not like that excuse hasn't been used before. "Officer, I swear, she said she was 18!")

The guy still gives me the fucking creeps. (BPC, that is)

Actually, BPC claims the mom told him, "She's not 15 like she told you." Implying that she's 14 or younger. Of course, there's about a 99% chance that BPC "the Granny Shagger" is full of shit, but it doesn't make the thread any less repulsive.

he came back after everyone was like "whoa" and said she is actually 16, and the mom was referring to her mental age, i guess? makes no sense with how he phrased it initially, and smells like a backpedal to me.

[elmwood]

I'm not surprised Oakminster and Czarcasm hate each other. They are the only two poeple hanging out in the IRC chat room #wannabemodsSDMB.

Maybe they should get together and start their own little SDMB splinter board. Maybe they should take over the Fabulous Forums of Fathom from Opal, since she seems to have her hands full with other matters (http://fff.fathom.org/forums/showthread.php?t=61444).

[Salambo]

smells like a backpedal to me.

It absolutely is, if the story is true in the first place.

[Tuco Salamanca]

I'm not surprised Oakminster and Czarcasm hate each other. They are the only two poeple hanging out in the IRC chat room #wannabemodsSDMB.

Maybe they should get together and start their own little SDMB splinter board. Maybe they should take over the Fabulous Forums of Fathom from Opal, since she seems to have her hands full with other matters (http://fff.fathom.org/forums/showthread.php?t=61444).

Why did I read that? I'm buying elmwood some homemade lip balm to express my gratitude. Hopefully it doesn't have any TB particles hacked up on it.

[Guinastasia]

She probably used her own earwax.

[Blackberry]

I know that, but he thought she was 16 WHEN they were getting it on. I'm not defending the guy -- he's still a creep, but I'll give him a wee bit of a pass for being an insanely stupid one.

Maybe he had no reason to suspect she was really 14 or under, but it's fairly likely he did have reason to suspect it and didn't really care. A developmentally disabled 14-year-old (who has 12-year-old friends, no less) is not all that likely to come off as a normal 16-year-old.

I think a lot of guys who commit statutory rape don't know for sure that the girl is lying about her age, but do know something doesn't seem quite right and just ignore that and go with what they want to be true.

[Giraffe]

he came back after everyone was like "whoa" and said she is actually 16, and the mom was referring to her mental age, i guess? makes no sense with how he phrased it initially, and smells like a backpedal to me.
The sentence he quoted the girl's mother as saying only has one possible meaning: the girl is younger than 15. I'm pretty sure every woman I know pretended to be older than they were at some point when they were a teenager. More than that, I can't even fathom any 16 year old girl telling someone she was 15, even a developmentally disabled one.

Maybe he misquoted the mother, but my gut feeling is that the girl is 14 and he buckled under the scorn and immediately went into backpedal mode. Gross.

[Popinki]

Maybe they should get together and start their own little SDMB splinter board. Maybe they should take over the Fabulous Forums of Fathom from Opal, since she seems to have her hands full with other matters (http://fff.fathom.org/forums/showthread.php?t=61444).

Opiates and painkillers, huh? At least she got her fix out of the pleurisy business.

BPC should just have stuck to his 48 year old MILF :facepalm:

[Dragonlady]

Opiates AND painkillers? What does she think opiates are???

[Popinki]

:smack:

My bad. Her prescriptions were for antibiotics and painkillers (which are opiates.)

I shouldn't post pre-caffiene.

[The Futility of Nihilism]

:smack:

My bad. Her prescriptions were for antibiotics and painkillers (which are opiates.)

I shouldn't post pre-caffiene.
You better hope Brian doesn't see this or he'll call you a lying liar! :driveby:

[Dangermouse]

A lying liar who lies, at that! :eek:

[Popinki]

He better not try it or I'll call him a stinky stinker who stinks :raeg:

[mwm]

Maybe they should get together and start their own little SDMB splinter board. Maybe they should take over the Fabulous Forums of Fathom from Opal, since she seems to have her hands full with other matters (http://fff.fathom.org/forums/showthread.php?t=61444).

Why did I read that? I'm buying elmwood some homemade lip balm to express my gratitude. Hopefully it doesn't have any TB particles hacked up on it.

That was my thought. She's talking up the lip balm, wanting people to ask her about it and buy it, I'm sure, and in the same post also goes on about how she's Doc Holliday. Gross.

Also, Untruthy Ripe Tomato, please stop lying.

[Popinki]

Oh, hush or I'll get Opal to cough up some of her special artistic vegan germs on you.

[elmwood]

That was my thought. She's talking up the lip balm, wanting people to ask her about it and buy it, I'm sure, and in the same post also goes on about how she's Doc Holliday. Gross.

Opal Essence with a "surprise".

Really, if I had some kind of bronchial illness going on, the last thing I'd want to do is is pull a Typhoid Mary, and make a product intended for human consumption in my kitchen at the same time.

With hundreds of others selling homemade lip balm on Etsy and the like, I wonder who will be buying Opal's wares.

[Popinki]

When the Opal Essence first got posted here I seriously thought about ordering some and giving it the old Consumer Reports treatment, but I decided against it.

[mwm]

Heh, that's the funny thing. My GF owns a small bulk food store, and she's always worried about making sure the store is clean, especially the store room where she stores and bags food. And she wants to get into lotions, balms, etc., but not until she has the kitchen I'm renovating completely finished. She's always concerned that it's just not clean enough and she needs to do more, while I assure her that, from working in grocery stores during HS and college, her store room is cleaner than the typical grocery store, and her bagging area even more so. Yet she still frets.
Then you've got someone like Opal who will hack all over everything and sell it, with no concerns of safety or health. Not only is she not concerned about it, she'll talk all over the web about it, so people know how much she suffers for her work. Ugh.

[DogMom]

Maybe they should get together and start their own little SDMB splinter board. Maybe they should take over the Fabulous Forums of Fathom from Opal, since she seems to have her hands full with other matters (http://fff.fathom.org/forums/showthread.php?t=61444).

Why did I read that? I'm buying elmwood some homemade lip balm to express my gratitude. Hopefully it doesn't have any TB particles hacked up on it.
That just confused the shit out of me. Maybe it's just ME, but if I was moving to Atlanta, I wouldn't be spending my time at a lake up in NH. I'd be...y'know...trying to help organize and get rid of the crap I wasn't taking with me.

[Popinki]

Not just you. Instead of writing 2000+ words on a blog about how hard it is to sort through your crap and pack up, I'd be actually, like, sorting through my crap and packing it up. I didn't actually read the blog post, but I did have to use the scroll wheel on the mouse 6 times to reach the bottom.

mwm, the sad part is, everyone who reads about it online will know that she sprayed cooties all over her lip balm, but the poor souls who'll buy it at craft fairs won't :yuk: (and she's making her own display cases for her precious products... :facepalm:)

[mwm]

Yeah, I wasn't able to make heads or tails of the whole "We have so much to do, so we're staying at the cabin in NH". That was just ridiculous. And how much shit do they have that two big trucks can't haul it all, and the spill-over takes months to sort through?

Wait, making her own display cases? I missed that part. How twee. (reread her story, see it was in the last paragraph where I trailed off) So instead of focusing on the stuff that has to be done for the move and other stuff, she's going to build cases? Cases she could probably buy for $20 at any decent furniture store? It's one thing if you have a specific need (like basket shelves or something) that has an outrageous cost relative to what it is (several hundred dollars for something that takes an hour and $20 worth of wood to build), but a quick google shows "lip balm wooden display cases" for anywhere from $10 to $30 dollars.

[apollonia]

Incidentally, her lip balm website (http://opalessenceshop.com/) is one of the most awful places I've seen on the internet, and would in no way convince me to buy chapstick there. Reward points AND gift certificates AND contests AND twitter/facebook/pinterest links AND coupons AND daily products AND "testimonials!"

No. No need.

[Scuba Ben]

mwm, the sad part is, everyone who reads about it online will know that she sprayed cooties all over her lip balm, but the poor souls who'll buy it at craft fairs won't :yuk: (and she's making her own display cases for her precious products... :facepalm:)

Opal's an artist. The display cases for the craft fairs wouldn't properly show off her coughed-all-over lip balms unless she makes them herself. It's a visual appeal thing, so I will never understand beyond that.

But still -- she's trying to move, and she (presumably and Juggler Dan) are on a vacation and making stuff? FAIL

ETA @ Apollonia: Lots of "no image available" images. FAIL
And that's a clunky layout, doubly so given that Opal is a web designer. FAIL

ETA2: I'm tempted to add a testimonial for brisket balm. But fake reviews are a Bad Thing. Still, the most recent testimonial is from May. FAIL

[Popinki]

I have to say I'm proud of our Opal, in a way.

She spared the Dope the "Help me find display cases to show off my homemade lip balms that I made by myself. Nope, that won't work. That's not what I wanted at all. No, those are for LIPSTICK! Pearlescent lipstick has ground fishscales in it! I'm a VEGETARIAN! No. That's not what I want... how come everyone's getting so mad??" thread and went right to making her own.

ETA: Brisket balm? I hope it also comes in corned beef and roast chicken flavors.

[DogMom]

Yeah, I wasn't able to make heads or tails of the whole "We have so much to do, so we're staying at the cabin in NH". That was just ridiculous. And how much shit do they have that two big trucks can't haul it all, and the spill-over takes months to sort through?


I was amused by that as well. I'm sure it's taking months because ordinary solutions just don't apply to her. See, she's so artistic and stuff.

I so wanted to reply to the "going through storage" bit with "hey, if it's been in storage for this long, and you haven't missed it yet, you probably don't need it so get rid of it.. No need to "go through" anything, just have a sale on EVERYTHING in your storage locker!"

I personally would've done an auction, not a yard sale, but de gustibus non disputandum and all that, I suppose.

[Scuba Ben]

ETA: Brisket balm? I hope it also comes in corned beef and roast chicken flavors.

IIRC, the first discussion behind Opal's back of her flavoured lip balms was about the time she freaked out over buckeyes, thinking they were made from actual buck eyes. Discussion led to meaty balms, and whether Opal would make a meaty flavoured balm if there was sufficient demand.

Roast chicken balm, mmmmm. I'd kiss that.

[Velveeta Jones]

I wonder if she would make me buckeye flavor? Peanut butter and chocolate. MMM-mmm!

[elmwood]

Opal's an artist. The display cases for the craft fairs wouldn't properly show off her coughed-all-over lip balms unless she makes them herself. It's a visual appeal thing, so I will never understand beyond that.

And once again, her poor kid moves to yet another city. I've bounced around a bit too, but I don't have kids whose lives are being uprooted every year or two by another cross-country move, who don't have the chance to form lasting friendships.

Opal's depressed (http://opalcat.livejournal.com/2320790.html). Why? She thinks she's not getting enough mental attenshuns from her geographically scattered acquaintances.

I am up here in New Hampshire... my mom is here but I hardly see her--she stays upstairs and is super busy writing and dealing with clients--so I'm essentially alone. I feel extremely lonely and isolated. I miss Dan like crazy. I miss Dominic. I miss my friends in Ohio, Virginia, Massachusetts... I miss my coworkers from Brandeis...

...but I'm pretty sure none of them misses me.

After all, if I'm the acquaintance of someone who I only knew for a year or two, and they moved out of town, life without them is going to be the forefront of my thoughts for days or years. "Opal's gone! The void in my life is unbearable!" :rolleyes: It's normal to miss old friends, but the emotional investment Opal seems to expect from those she's known isn't.

[elmwood]

Yeah, I wasn't able to make heads or tails of the whole "We have so much to do, so we're staying at the cabin in NH". That was just ridiculous. And how much shit do they have that two big trucks can't haul it all, and the spill-over takes months to sort through?

Whenever I moved, the equivalent of a two bedroom house, including tools and washer/dryer, fit into a quarter or third of a standard moving van, with room to spare. I don't live some austere, minimalist life, either.

[DogMom]

Yeah, I wasn't able to make heads or tails of the whole "We have so much to do, so we're staying at the cabin in NH". That was just ridiculous. And how much shit do they have that two big trucks can't haul it all, and the spill-over takes months to sort through?

Whenever I moved, the equivalent of a two bedroom house, including tools and washer/dryer, fit into a quarter or third of a standard moving van, with room to spare. I don't live some austere, minimalist life, either.
Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. Last time I moved, we got the Big Stuff (furniture) to my current location with the smallest actual Moving Truck Thingy you can rent from U-Haul (one step up from a passenger-sized van), and the rest we moved in a few trips with my minivan. And we have a shitload of stuff.

[mwm]

That's how every move I've ever had has been. Hell, I'm about to move again, and I have a 30x25 workshop to empty out, and it won't take more than a U-Haul and maybe a pick-up load or two.

[Tuco Salamanca]

Opal's depressed (http://opalcat.livejournal.com/2320790.html). Why? She thinks she's not getting enough mental attenshuns from her geographically scattered acquaintances.

I am up here in New Hampshire... my mom is here but I hardly see her--she stays upstairs and is super busy writing and dealing with clients--so I'm essentially alone. I feel extremely lonely and isolated. I miss Dan like crazy. I miss Dominic. I miss my friends in Ohio, Virginia, Massachusetts... I miss my coworkers from Brandeis...

...but I'm pretty sure none of them misses me.


Let's be fair to Opal's mom. Maybe there was a football game on the TV upstairs.

But seriously, what adult with kids (or step-kids) picks up and moves across the country with no job or job prospects? WTF? I mean, at least get some job-hunting started before you rent the U-Haul. That's fine to do when you're just starting out, but when you have kids and responsibilities and 2 tractor trailers full of shit, it seems a bit poorly thought out.

[DogMom]

Opal's depressed (http://opalcat.livejournal.com/2320790.html). Why? She thinks she's not getting enough mental attenshuns from her geographically scattered acquaintances.

I am up here in New Hampshire... my mom is here but I hardly see her--she stays upstairs and is super busy working so I can continue to sponge off her--so I'm essentially alone. I feel extremely lonely and isolated. I miss Dan like crazy. I miss Dominic. I miss my friends in Ohio, Virginia, Massachusetts... I miss my coworkers from Brandeis...

...but I'm pretty sure none of them misses me.


Fixed that for you.

[apollonia]

Jesus. Not only did she provide a blow-by-blow account of her ambulance ride a couple of weeks ago, she made sure to get her phone and "check in" with Foursquare while IN THE AMBULANCE. Has there ever been a person so obsessed with making sure total strangers know every detail of her life?

[mwm]

Jesus. Not only did she provide a blow-by-blow account of her ambulance ride a couple of weeks ago, she made sure to get her phone and "check in" with Foursquare while IN THE AMBULANCE. Has there ever been a person so obsessed with making sure total strangers know every detail of her life?

No doubt. Some people have no sense of propriety.


Sent from the bathroom while pinching a loaf, with my Samsung Galaxy

[Popinki]

No doubt. Some people have no sense of propriety.


Sent from the bathroom while pinching a loaf, with my Samsung Galaxy

PIX OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN.

On second thought, I'll take your word for it.

[mwm]

No doubt. Some people have no sense of propriety.


Sent from the bathroom while pinching a loaf, with my Samsung Galaxy

PIX OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN.

On second thought, I'll take your word for it.

You asked for it. (http://media.photobucket.com/image/recent/cutlass420/pinching_a_loaf.jpg)

[FairPoint]

And once again, her poor kid moves to yet another city. I've bounced around a bit too, but I don't have kids whose lives are being uprooted every year or two by another cross-country move, who don't have the chance to form lasting friendships.

Christ.

Spare us the "O NOES!!!!!! Those poor ittle children have to move to a new city every 2 years!!!!! How can they possibly survive to adulthood without years of intensive therapy and drugs!!!!!!!!?????"

Tens of millions of children who's parents were in the military have survived dozens of moves just fine for nearly a hundred years.

Christ, what with the current generation of brats spending all of their goddamn time on Facebook/twatter/instagram and never actually seeing one another in person outside of school, there is zero reason to be a ll boo hooing.

Except of course for the fact that it's Opaltwizz's kid.

[Revs]

New poster gets banned for using different colors and fonts. Of course there is an ATMB thread about it. MOL/SOB took the words right out of my mouth.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15433653&postcount=16

[FairPoint]

But seriously, what adult with kids (or step-kids) picks up and moves across the country with no job or job prospects? WTF? I mean, at least get some job-hunting started before you rent the U-Haul. That's fine to do when you're just starting out, but when you have kids and responsibilities and 2 tractor trailers full of shit, it seems a bit poorly thought out.

You forget that she can always go back to stripping and turning tricks.

In other snack, the usual suspects whine about how unfairsszz it was that they had to actually participate in gym in order to graduate from high school: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=591165

*Shakes head* And they wonder why they got the shit beat out of them in high school. "Ooooo wook at me, I'm far too intelligent to waste my pwecious brain and body participating in gym class."

I'm seriously astonished at all of the "I was bullied so badly in gym class and the teachers were the worst at bullying!!!!!!!!!!!!"

When I was in school, bullying didn't take place during gym class, it took place between classes and before and after school.

But it's all the whinging about the teachers being the worst bullies. In actual fact the teachers weren't bullying at all, they simply were expecting you to do what they told you to do, it's not their fault that you area total unathletic loser. If these speds have even given a modicum of effort they could have gotten better, but it's an endless shriek of "IS TOOOOOO HARDSSSZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!"

I'm so glad these Durps got bullied and harrassed, I just wish it had gotten much worse.

[mwm]

After FairPoint's tardation hit the thread, I thought I'd bring up the level of discourse:
South Park's Mouth Shitting Scene. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhSvQLweKD4)

[redtail]

Edit: Thanks, mwm.

Where's that damn DNFTT smiley?

[mwm]

No problem. Figured a visual representation would work well.

[FairPoint]

The Durps have a really twisted view of what celebrities lives are like: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=663615

blonde bear is especially http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15433311&postcount=9

"There are sooo many things I like to do that would be impossible if I was married to a celebrity."

Okay, let's just think about what those thing might be:

1) Run a meth lab out of the house.
2) Run a cocaine lab out of the house.
3) Have sex with each other in public. Not just making out, full on fucking.
4) Piss/shit in public.

My experience with celebrities in the LA area is that 99% of the people ignore them, maybe because they are all jaded LA's and celebrity sighting are VERY common, they really only get pestered when they sit down to eat and then only by the tourist types.

Same kind of thing in NYC, actually they tend to be even more anonymous there.

Outside of those two cities it tends to be a double take, followed by asking "You're (insert name here) right." Most celebrities are pretty nice about it, others Jeremy Piven/John Cusack/Casey Afleck are HUGE dicks. (Really Piven, you're really gonna try to pay a $900 dinner bill with a "Don't you know who I am" tirade and a box set of every Entourage episode? Go die in an avalanche.)

What the Durps don't understand/refuse to get is that 99% of the celeb photos you see these days including the so called 'candid' shots are all setups between the celebs publicist and the media with the celeb being in on it.

[mwm]

New poster gets banned for using different colors and fonts. Of course there is an ATMB thread about it. MOL/SOB took the words right out of my mouth.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15433653&postcount=16

Yeah, it's kind of odd that they would ban a new poster for that when Stoid's threads look like a ransom note puked all over them.

[hajario]

They banned him because they asked him to stop three times and he ignored them, it wasn't the font itself. Now you could argue that they should ask Stoid to stop doing that too but until they do, and she ignores it, then it's not the same thing.

[elmwood]

Guy was a kook and one-trick pony. He might have provided some entertainment value for a week or so, but otherwise I think Marley was justified in his banning.

[eleanorigby]

Go figure. My mother moved out of a seven bedroom house AND she collects antique furniture, but it all fit in one large moving van.

Huh. Real head scratcher, that.


(and pleurisy, while not fun, is not exactly critical condition unless she has underlying asthma or half a lung missing or COPD etc). :dubious:

[FairPoint]

Christ, Skald is a creepy gross creeper. :grossout::barf: (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=663533)

[Giraffe]

New poster gets banned for using different colors and fonts. Of course there is an ATMB thread about it. MOL/SOB took the words right out of my mouth.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15433653&postcount=16
Meh, no loss. That guy sucked. And people who use huge, multicolored fonts are megatards.

[FairPoint]

Go figure. My mother moved out of a seven bedroom house AND she collects antique furniture, but it all fit in one large moving van.

Huh. Real head scratcher, that.

This is Opal we're snacking about. You know that every bit of her pwecious belongings, every last stick must be wrapped and positioned in the exact, precise manner that Opal dictates, even though she'd never be able to articulate it to save her life.

[Guinastasia]

New poster gets banned for using different colors and fonts. Of course there is an ATMB thread about it. MOL/SOB took the words right out of my mouth.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15433653&postcount=16

She forgot to mention Bosda, although he's toned it down in recent years.

[hajario]

New poster gets banned for using different colors and fonts. Of course there is an ATMB thread about it. MOL/SOB took the words right out of my mouth.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15433653&postcount=16

She forgot to mention Bosda, although he's toned it down in recent years.

I don't think he does anymore. Didn't he get Mod Noted for it and then threw a hissy fit when someone else got to use them?

[Fenris]

I thought he did, but ddamned if I can find the thread. It may have been during the "Winter of our missed content".

[Tuco Salamanca]

She forgot to mention Bosda, although he's toned it down in recent years.

I don't think he does anymore. Didn't he get Mod Noted for it and then threw a hissy fit when someone else got to use them?

What about that JVDivemaster something or other? If I remember correctly, he couldn't help himself with the different sized fonts. Like literally every single post. And it didn't help that as often as not you couldn't tell what the fuck he was trying to say.

[Tuckerfan]

I think it was because he was using it in his sig line, and not so much that he used it in every post. I do remember him complaining about it, as well.

[Half-Man/Half-French]

I would like to be able to quote from other threads please. :mad:
What we could do is leave the old ones open and then move any posts that get made after the new one is opened from there to here, so people could use the quote buttons. But, you'll have to remind Fenris to do it. And don't forget, he's mad with power. So...good luck with that.

But if you PM me, or remind me in-thread, I'll do it. Don't tell Fenris.

I dont get it. You can quote from closed thread (and even if you couldnt you can always link to the post).

Oakminster is always a dick. He's not as blatant about his obnoxiousness as some others, but he's a self-aggrandizing Internet Tough Guy to the core.

Oakminster is the Conservative guy that was playing Junior Mod all the time, got turned down several times for Mod position, and "left" the Dope because of it?...

Memo to self: share nothing with grude...

MY MOM HAS ASS CANCER FROM BUTTSEX ITS A SECRET (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15428582&postcount=9)

Seriously its bad enough talking about her anus every call, my wife doesn't even want to talk to her anymore because every call is about how painful that day's bowel movements have been.



Is he related to a well-established member of the Dope, of the female persuasion, that writes those lurid bowel-porn essays?

[Kat]

New poster gets banned for using different colors and fonts. Of course there is an ATMB thread about it. MOL/SOB took the words right out of my mouth.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15433653&postcount=16
Meh, no loss. That guy sucked. And people who use huge, multicolored fonts are megatards.

I totally agree.

[hajario]

Oakminster's first flounce. (boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=414765)

[Tuco Salamanca]

Oakminster's first flounce. (boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=414765)

Short, pithy. But not nearly enough recriminations, vague threats of self-harm, or profanity. I note the jarring absence of the word "fuckwit." I give this flouncing 2/10.

[Beastly Rotter]

Incidentally, her lip balm website (http://opalessenceshop.com/) is one of the most awful places I've seen on the internet, and would in no way convince me to buy chapstick there. Reward points AND gift certificates AND contests AND twitter/facebook/pinterest links AND coupons AND daily products AND "testimonials!"

What, you're not going to take the word of Stacey, Susan, Katie, Ann, Sherri, Joyce and Richard? It was at Richard that she had me sold.

eta Bosda and his stick-in-the-eye fonts. (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=5870271&postcount=113)

Kel Varnsen, that takes me back.

[Old Overholt]

Incidentally, her lip balm website (http://opalessenceshop.com/) is one of the most awful places I've seen on the internet, and would in no way convince me to buy chapstick there. Reward points AND gift certificates AND contests AND twitter/facebook/pinterest links AND coupons AND daily products AND "testimonials!"

What, you're not going to take the word of Stacey, Susan, Katie, Ann, Sherri, Joyce and Richard? It was at Richard that she had me sold.

I wonder if her TB "flavor" is listed under "Happy Accidents". :yuk:

Old Overholt

[Clockwork Jackal]

Mmmmmm tastes like pertussis!

[Beastly Rotter]

Mmm, sputumlicious.

[McNutty]

Incidentally, her lip balm website (http://opalessenceshop.com/) is one of the most awful places I've seen on the internet, and would in no way convince me to buy chapstick there. Reward points AND gift certificates AND contests AND twitter/facebook/pinterest links AND coupons AND daily products AND "testimonials!"

No. No need.

Totally professinal.

[McNutty]

Oakminster's first flounce. (boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=414765)

I assume there was a second SDMB flounce somewhere before this one, but here's (http://www.mellophant.com/forums/showthread.php?5729-Happy-April-Fools-Day-Everyone-Moved-to-Thunderdome&p=69952#post69952) another Oakminster flounce.

[Mr. Plumbean]

More inevitable than death and taxes is a bunch of japesters replying to the OP with exactly the behavior the author is complaining about.

[eleanorigby]

Go figure. My mother moved out of a seven bedroom house AND she collects antique furniture, but it all fit in one large moving van.

Huh. Real head scratcher, that.

This is Opal we're snacking about. You know that every bit of her pwecious belongings, every last stick must be wrapped and positioned in the exact, precise manner that Opal dictates, even though she'd never be able to articulate it to save her life.

You're humor challenged, aren't you...

I checked out Opal's website. :dubious: Her "testimonials" don't sound vaguely plausible--they sound like they were written by her. I also like the bit about the "tamper-proof" packaging--if seal is broken, CONTACT HER RIGHT AWAY. No mention of money back or item replaced. Her site screams low rent product to me--like those old, old commercials on late night TV in the days before HSN. :ohdear:

[Fenris]

Incidentally, her lip balm website (http://opalessenceshop.com/) is one of the most awful places I've seen on the internet, and would in no way convince me to buy chapstick there. Reward points AND gift certificates AND contests AND twitter/facebook/pinterest links AND coupons AND daily products AND "testimonials!"

What, you're not going to take the word of Stacey, Susan, Katie, Ann, Sherri, Joyce and Richard? It was at Richard that she had me sold.

eta Bosda and his stick-in-the-eye fonts. (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=5870271&postcount=113)

Kel Varnsen, that takes me back.

Heh--and again, it's part of that perfect storm of crazy in early 2005. That's the Kaitlyn thing, the Tubagate thing, Roland Deschain, and a ton of others. Whatever the hell was going on in say, Dec 2004-April 2005, we need more of it

I still can't find Bosda's hysterical response to Veb.

[Mr. Plumbean]

The whole enterprise reminds me of Jan's candle store on The Office.

Oh, it's still up: http://www.serenitybyjancandles.com/

[Scuba Ben]

New poster gets banned for using different colors and fonts. Of course there is an ATMB thread about it. MOL/SOB took the words right out of my mouth.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15433653&postcount=16

Nope, new poster gets banned for ignoring mod instructions about using different fonts and colors. Here, we would have just thrown him in the Box and soundly mocked him.

[elmwood]

Incidentally, her lip balm website (http://opalessenceshop.com/) is one of the most awful places I've seen on the internet, and would in no way convince me to buy chapstick there.

She's quite enamored with the mystical fantasy (https://www.google.com/search?q=mystical+fantasy) style of Web design, something that was common for the likes of new age- and paganism-related sites, and "well designed" Geocities sites of the early 2000s. Purple/pink/indigo/pastel heavy, "elegant" display typefaces, and an overall busy or "sparkly" look.

Opal is a talented artist in other "analog" media. However, like 30-something STG continues to pencil out anime-like illustrations that look like the doodles of a geeky junior high school student, when it comes to Web design, mystical fantasy is a style that Opal can't seem to break away from, even though it fell out of fashion from amateur Web designers a decade ago.

[DogMom]

Oakminster's first flounce. (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=414765)

I assume there was a second SDMB flounce somewhere before this one, but here's (http://www.mellophant.com/forums/showthread.php?5729-Happy-April-Fools-Day-Everyone-Moved-to-Thunderdome&p=69952#post69952) another Oakminster flounce.
He's......really not very good at that, is he?

[DogMom]

This is Opal we're snacking about. You know that every bit of her pwecious belongings, every last stick must be wrapped and positioned in the exact, precise manner that Opal dictates, even though she'd never be able to articulate it to save her life.

You're humor challenged, aren't you...

I checked out Opal's website. :dubious: Her "testimonials" don't sound vaguely plausible--they sound like they were written by her. I also like the bit about the "tamper-proof" packaging--if seal is broken, CONTACT HER RIGHT AWAY. No mention of money back or item replaced. Her site screams low rent product to me--like those old, old commercials on late night TV in the days before HSN. :ohdear:
The "reviews" are all very homogenous, aren't they? They really DO read like they're all written by the same person, trying to say the same thing in six different ways. Fail.

Most of the stuff she's got in those sidebar widgets should be their own page, linked in a menu across the top. That'd clean up most of the damn page.

[Scuba Ben]

You're humor challenged, aren't you...

I checked out Opal's website. :dubious: Her "testimonials" don't sound vaguely plausible--they sound like they were written by her. I also like the bit about the "tamper-proof" packaging--if seal is broken, CONTACT HER RIGHT AWAY. No mention of money back or item replaced. Her site screams low rent product to me--like those old, old commercials on late night TV in the days before HSN. :ohdear:
The "reviews" are all very homogenous, aren't they? They really DO read like they're all written by the same person, trying to say the same thing in six different ways. Fail.
Opal's lip balm main page says "Grand Opening". Yet the testimonials run from March to May. Uh Opal, it's August, either the store is past the grand opening phase or the testimonials are questionable. And the testimonials sound, well, like friends trying her stuff out in exchange for basted-till-they-glow reviews. I think that is actually a semi acceptable way to "seed" reviews.

ETA: PROPOSED: Snarking on Opal's and STG's web sites (along with any other that show up) belong in their own threads, not in the Durp Snark threads.

[Doc Gonzo]

Oakminster's first flounce. (boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=414765)

Short, pithy. But not nearly enough recriminations, vague threats of self-harm, or profanity. I note the jarring absence of the word "fuckwit." I give this flouncing 2/10.

Seems like the SnowBoarder Ro "let's go down to the query" line of idiocy ... Oak needs more snark ... (that was too funny btw Hajario).

[Dudley]

ETA: PROPOSED: Snarking on Opal's and STG's web sites (along with any other that show up) belong in their own threads, not in the Durp Snark threads.

Agreed. Thread here. (http://www.giraffeboards.com/showthread.php?p=851646#post851646)

[Hibbins]

Now this ought to be some fun. :D

NFL Q? Can a college player choose which team he wants to play for? (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=663650)

Bunch of Durps trying to explain the football draft. :facepalm:

Early on we get this classic.
I really don't understand the draft... It seems like a strange mix of capitalism and a dictatorship/slavery system...
Yes slavery, where you are going to make tens of thousands at the very minimum. :smack: This guy must hang out with Adrian Peterson.

I just don't understand how the draft works, or how much freedom a top-ranked college player has to decide which team he wants to play for. He can negotiate his salary but not who he works for? How can he negotiate a salary when he can't choose his employer?
We get it, you haven't a clue how pro sports work. :facepalm::facepalm:

[Knee]

New poster gets banned for using different colors and fonts. Of course there is an ATMB thread about it. MOL/SOB took the words right out of my mouth.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15433653&postcount=16

Nope, new poster gets banned for ignoring mod instructions about using different fonts and colors. Here, we would have just thrown him in the Box and soundly mocked him.

Why is it OK for them to ban this guy for refusing to heed their warnings about using annoying fonts but not to do the same (warn not to use, then ban for using) to someone else just because they are a more tenured member? Also, what does the new guy being annoying have to do with anything? This guy was banned for ignoring requests that he not do something that another poster is allowed to do. That is stupid. It wouldn't be any different if the new guy weren't an annoying prick except that more people would care about "fairness" than "getting rid of some jerk." And if the tenured posters are also asked to stop using annoying fonts and they do stop, then fine. But until they ask everyone who uses annoying fonts to stop and ban those who don't, the banning wasn't fair.

Fuggit though, the guy was annoying. So that makes inconsistent moderation and favoritism to tenure OK. Honestly, this rationalizing sounds like a bunch of Dopers pod-peopled you guys :astonished:

Does the Dope have a box equivalent? It seems like they could use one.

ETA - Not against you specifically Scuba Ben, you just happened to be the person I quoted.

[Scuba Ben]

No offense taken, Knee, I agree with your rant. And so do some people (but not Giraffe) over on the Dope.

The Dope doesn't have a Box, just suspensions for a time-out. They would benefit from a penalty box forum, IMO.

[Astroboy14]

(and pleurisy, while not fun, is not exactly critical condition unless she has underlying asthma or half a lung missing or COPD etc). :dubious:

Imma give her a pass on that. I had pleurisy a few years ago, and I honest-to-god thought I was having a heart attack. It hurt THAT bad. I was in the ER quite quickly... :driveby:

[Bob Ducca]

So which one of you was Chappy?

[Hibbins]

Imma give her a pass on that. I had pleurisy a few years ago, and I honest-to-god thought I was having a heart attack. It hurt THAT bad. I was in the ER quite quickly... :driveby:
I'll give the counter anecdotal report. Had pleurisy when I was in my early 20's. Painful enough to send me to the clinic, but not "oh my god I am dying pain". Deep breaths were bad, shallow breaths not so much.

[Who_me?]

So which one of you was Chappy?

Not I, I can't fake insanity that well...

[FairPoint]

Now this ought to be some fun. :D

NFL Q? Can a college player choose which team he wants to play for? (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=663650)

Bunch of Durps trying to explain the football draft. :facepalm:

Early on we get this classic.
I really don't understand the draft... It seems like a strange mix of capitalism and a dictatorship/slavery system...
Yes slavery, where you are going to make tens of thousands at the very minimum. :smack: This guy must hang out with Adrian Peterson.

I just don't understand how the draft works, or how much freedom a top-ranked college player has to decide which team he wants to play for. He can negotiate his salary but not who he works for? How can he negotiate a salary when he can't choose his employer?
We get it, you haven't a clue how pro sports work. :facepalm::facepalm:


Well, to be semi-fair, the NBA used to have a territorial draft, where teams drafted players from the colleges in their area. The rules were changed after everyone screamed bloody murder over the Cincinatti Royals drafted Oscar Robertson who just happened to have played his college ball at Cincinatti.

[eleanorigby]

I've had mild pleurisy as well--my experience was more like Hibbins. Her's may well have been more severe or she was milking the drama or both. I go for both. Win-win!

[FairPoint]

Now this ought to be some fun. :D

NFL Q? Can a college player choose which team he wants to play for? (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=663650)

Bunch of Durps trying to explain the football draft. :facepalm:

Early on we get this classic.
I really don't understand the draft... It seems like a strange mix of capitalism and a dictatorship/slavery system...
Yes slavery, where you are going to make tens of thousands at the very minimum. :smack: This guy must hang out with Adrian Peterson.

I just don't understand how the draft works, or how much freedom a top-ranked college player has to decide which team he wants to play for. He can negotiate his salary but not who he works for? How can he negotiate a salary when he can't choose his employer?
We get it, you haven't a clue how pro sports work. :facepalm::facepalm:

Hbns hasa truly moronic post in that thread, claiming that the endorsement opportunities are MUCH MUCH greater in NYC than in Southern California.

Interesting.

Then please explain how Michael Jordan made well over $700,000,000 in endorsements while playing in Chicago and DC.

And explain how Lebron has made over $75,000,000 in endorsements playing in Cleveland and Miami.

Or Shaq made over $300,000,000 in endorsements playing in Orlando, LA, Phoenix, Miami, Cleveland and Boston.

Or how Peyton Manning has made more than $90,000,000 in endorsements playing in Indianapolis and Denver, while his brother Eli hasn't even made $50,000,000 in endorsements playing in NYC.

Hbns doesn't understand, because he's a fucktard that it doesn't matter where you play, it matters who the fuck you are.

[Argyle Sock]

I've had mild pleurisy as well--my experience was more like Hibbins. Her's may well have been more severe or she was milking the drama or both. I go for both. Win-win!

When I was in the hospital for my (still peskily slow to recover) broken leg, one of the assholes in the next bed had something along those lines. Lung pain, anyway. When they asked him "what's your pain level" and he answered 8, like he always did, he got a tylenol or something. If I said 8, it was 2 Vicodin, and stand by with a shot of morphine, just in case. Hell, If I said anything over 5, I had to tell them that they were overreacting, and insist I only wanted one Vicodin, even though I was interpreting their pain scale as rationally as I possibly could. That other guy was a male version of Opal. And they weren't giving him the Opiates, dammit! He's lucky my leg was broke. I wanted to smother him in his sleep, sooo baaad...

[FairPoint]

The Durper cwybabies whine and blub because something on the Internet isn't functioning to absolute perfection 100% of the time 24/7 forever: Ungrateful little shits. (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=663213)Shut up Shut up Shut up Shut up Shut up Shut up! Jesus H. Christ, you suck at everything and are more annoying than having hemorrhoids while riding a bicycle on cobblestones. Just go back to the Snarkpit or hell or the fruit fly hive or wherever the hell you came from and shut the fuck up.

Make me, cwybaby.

[zeriel]

Hbns doesn't understand, because he's a fucktard that it doesn't matter where you play, it matters who the fuck you are.

Could be worse. He could be a fucktard so incompetent at snarking he posts in the old thread for no good goddamn reason AND isn't funny even when his monkey flailing manages to navigate to the correct one.

[Giraffe]

Shut up Shut up Shut up Shut up Shut up Shut up! Jesus H. Christ, you suck at everything and are more annoying than having hemorrhoids while riding a bicycle on cobblestones. Just go back to the Snarkpit or hell or the fruit fly hive or wherever the hell you came from and shut the fuck up.

Make me, cwybaby.

Moved from the old snark thread. Don't post in old snark threads, fucktard. If you want to reply, click the multiquote button, then come hit reply in the new thread.

[Denis]

Reported.

[Who_me?]

Make me, cwybaby.

Moved from the old snark thread. Don't post in old snark threads, fucktard. If you want to reply, click the multiquote button, then come hit reply in the new thread.

I wish you'd have moved it into the mod forum. That way you mod-type people could have enjoyed it all by yourselves.

[Mr. Plumbean]

FTR the multiquote button doesn't do anything when I click on it.

[Dudley]

FTR the multiquote button doesn't do anything when I click on it.

Yes, it does.

[Mr. Plumbean]

Nope. Not when I click on it.

[eleanorigby]

Nope. Not when I click on it.

I thought it didn't for me, either. You probably already know this, but if you click on it and whatever other post(s) you want, THEN click REPLY, all the quotes will be in the reply, awaiting your pleasure.

[Mr. Plumbean]

No, I wasn't aware of that. That does work. Thanks!

[Guinastasia]

Now THAT'S the manhattan we all know and love.

[Giraffe]

No, I wasn't aware of that. That does work. Thanks!

It's almost impossible to see, but the button image does change the plus to a minus once you've clicked on it, so technically it does something. Just not very much. :science:

[wring]

No, I wasn't aware of that. That does work. Thanks!

It's almost impossible to see, but the button image does change the plus to a minus once you've clicked on it, so technically it does something. Just not very much. :science:

You screw ups! Y'all missed a perfect opportunity to get Cricetus to believe that he was the only one who couldn't use it! Sheesh. I'm very disappointed in all of you.

[Euryphaessa]

No, I wasn't aware of that. That does work. Thanks!

It's almost impossible to see, but the button image does change the plus to a minus once you've clicked on it, so technically it does something. Just not very much. :science:

Clearly it should play a fanfare and activate a pop-up that says "CONGRATULATIONS IT'S A MULTIQUOTE". Just sayin'.




I think I only learned how to multiquote a couple of years ago. :meek:

[Merestil Haye]

Moved from the old snark thread. Don't post in old snark threads, fucktard. If you want to reply, click the multiquote button, then come hit reply in the new thread.Am I the only person who wanted you to give RVB mod powers for one day, just so I can watch the fireworks from a safe distance?

(The Atlantic Ocean should be big enough to buffer me from the fallout, right? Right?)

[Mr. Plumbean]

You screw ups! Y'all missed a perfect opportunity to get Cricetus to believe that he was the only one who couldn't use it! Sheesh. I'm very disappointed in all of you.

I would use that shake-fist icon but now those don't work.

[eleanorigby]

I would use that shake-fist icon but now those don't work.

Ok, you're special. :watch:


I learned the multi-quote thing about a year ago. What I never knew about until June was the "search this thread" option. The time I've spent searching for shit... :fist: (just showing off that my emoticons work and yours don't. Ha!)

:p

[Popinki]

Make me, cwybaby.

Moved from the old snark thread. Don't post in old snark threads, fucktard. If you want to reply, click the multiquote button, then come hit reply in the new thread.

How did it manage to post in the old snark thread if it was locked?

(and there's no quote or multiquote button on posts in locked threads)

[Knee]

Moved from the old snark thread. Don't post in old snark threads, fucktard. If you want to reply, click the multiquote button, then come hit reply in the new thread.

How did it manage to post in the old snark thread if it was locked?

(and there's no quote or multiquote button on posts in locked threads)

I think they decided to leave old snark threads unlocked going forward to allow quote/multiquote from old thread to new.

[Unbottled Jeanie]

Hi Raffers. You can guess who this is from the dope, but would rather not use that handle over here.

Is anyone else worried about Stoid? She's kind of disappeared from the dope, and given her legal problems with possible house foreclosure, I'm worried about her despite thinking she is a blathering idiot. Does anyone here know if she's at least OK and not in dire straits?

[Scuba Ben]

Hi Unbottled Jeanie! Feel free to stop by General Blah Blah and wave.

[zut]

She's probably fine:

http://www.facebook.com/Stoid

[Unbottled Jeanie]

She's probably fine:

http://www.facebook.com/Stoid

Oh good. Thank you.

Scuba Ben I read GBB every now and again, but that ear wax thread freaked me out so much, I'm gonna' have to muster up some courage to venture back.

Congrats to y'all for having such a relatively Nazi-free board!!!

[Steophan]

Congrats to y'all for having such a relatively Nazi-free board!!!

Apart from Hitler, but we did box him.

[Grammar Nazi]

She's probably fine:

http://www.facebook.com/Stoid

Oh good. Thank you.

Scuba Ben I read GBB every now and again, but that ear wax thread freaked me out so much, I'm gonna' have to muster up some courage to venture back.

Congrats to y'all for having such a relatively Nazi-free board!!!

Everything is relative...

[eleanorigby]

Hi Raffers. You can guess who this is from the dope, but would rather not use that handle over here.

Is anyone else worried about Stoid? She's kind of disappeared from the dope, and given her legal problems with possible house foreclosure, I'm worried about her despite thinking she is a blathering idiot. Does anyone here know if she's at least OK and not in dire straits?

No, I have no clue who you are, despite being a Doper myself. That you're worried about Stoid in the slightest makes me fear you may have sanity issues.

[hajario]

Hi Unbottled Jeanie! Feel free to stop by General Blah Blah and wave.

Hey! Nice to see you.

She was pretty much embarrassed in the Treyvon Martin questioning thread with Bricker. She claimed that she would be back with the strongest part of her case but disappeared.

[hajario]

A cool as Scuba Ben is, obviously my greeting was meant for Jeannie.

[Guinastasia]

Hey Jeanie!

[Revs]

Hi Raffers. You can guess who this is from the dope, but would rather not use that handle over here.

Is anyone else worried about Stoid? She's kind of disappeared from the dope, and given her legal problems with possible house foreclosure, I'm worried about her despite thinking she is a blathering idiot. Does anyone here know if she's at least OK and not in dire straits?

I think the bolded bit is the crux of her posting hiatus. After the Zimmerman mock trial thread she may have had a moment of self reflection and realized people were tired of her crap.

[Unbottled Jeanie]

Hi Raffers. You can guess who this is from the dope, but would rather not use that handle over here.

Is anyone else worried about Stoid? She's kind of disappeared from the dope, and given her legal problems with possible house foreclosure, I'm worried about her despite thinking she is a blathering idiot. Does anyone here know if she's at least OK and not in dire straits?

No, I have no clue who you are, despite being a Doper myself. That you're worried about Stoid in the slightest makes me fear you may have sanity issues.

I'm not a huge, well known poster at the dope, but been there since 2001. Over there I'm blond.

I've fought/debated with Stoid a great deal, but her dumpster diving for lotto tickets and reading some of the legal proceedings lead me to believe she may end up being foreclosed on. No one deserves that. But, I suppose there would be an ugly webpage dedicated to soliciting donations if this were true.

Hallo hajario, yeah I remember that thread, and am partially to blame as I tried to play nice with her via PM to help, but, alas, no luck.

[ryevermouthbitters]

She claimed that she would be back with the strongest part of her case but disappeared.She's Phaedrus???

I think the bolded bit is the crux of her posting hiatus. After the Zimmerman mock trial thread she may have had a moment of self reflection and realized people were tired of her crap.More likely she concluded that the Dopers were no longer worthy of her pearls of wisdom.

[Scuba Ben]

A cool as Scuba Ben is, obviously my greeting was meant for Jeannie.

:sciencefail: :(

[Astroboy14]

I've had mild pleurisy as well--my experience was more like Hibbins. Her's may well have been more severe or she was milking the drama or both. I go for both. Win-win!

Well, I either had a fairly severe case, or I'm a huge pansy...

I'm going with the former! :haw:

[Salambo]

Hi, Jeannie! I remember you.


(Toward the end of the thread): Zombie thread in Pit! Grrrarrr! We are mean bar people! You just asked to be attacked!

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=422951

Chimera insists on his right to be an asshole, and Bubbadog thinks they're some tough.

[Vinyl Turnip]

she may have had a moment of self reflection

<spit-take>

[Revs]

Yeah, I may have over reached a bit with my last post.

[DogMom]

she may have had a moment of self reflection and realized people were tired of her crap.
AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAA...dang, Revs, I didn't realize you were that funny.

[Unbottled Jeanie]

Howdy Guin and Salambo!

Salambo, I remember your sdmb alias. Just ignore all my idiocy prior to 2005 or so. I'm feeling muuuch better now. :leafy:

Sorry for the hijack.

[Salambo]

Hey, I've changed a bit, myself. :) We're all idiots sometimes.

[Zeener Diode]

Hey, I've changed a bit, myself. :) We're all idiots sometimes.

You used to be A Nasty One, iirc.

[Salambo]

Very much.

[Giraffe]

I think they decided to leave old snark threads unlocked going forward to allow quote/multiquote from old thread to new.
Yes, but I've already given up on that foolish pipe dream -- we got a bunch more posts in the old thread even after I moved Fair Point's. To explain the situation with an appropriate Simpsons quote:

Financial Planner: Mr. Simpson, let me be honest. You are too "stupid" to keep to a budget.
Homer: Continue.

Except replace "Mr. Simpson" with "you guys" and "keep to a budget" with "post in the appropriate thread".

[Zeener Diode]

:: imagines a financial panther attacking Giraffe ::

[The Futility of Nihilism]

I think they decided to leave old snark threads unlocked going forward to allow quote/multiquote from old thread to new.
Yes, but I've already given up on that foolish pipe dream -- we got a bunch more posts in the old thread even after I moved Fair Point's. To explain the situation with an appropriate Simpsons quote:

Financial Planner: Mr. Simpson, let me be honest. You are too "stupid" to keep to a budget.
Homer: Continue.

Except replace "Mr. Simpson" with "you guys" and "keep to a budget" with "post in the appropriate thread".
Psssst. Hey guys, I think he's talking to you.

[Knee]

I think they decided to leave old snark threads unlocked going forward to allow quote/multiquote from old thread to new.
Yes, but I've already given up on that foolish pipe dream -- we got a bunch more posts in the old thread even after I moved Fair Point's. To explain the situation with an appropriate Simpsons quote:

Financial Planner: Mr. Simpson, let me be honest. You are too "stupid" to keep to a budget.
Homer: Continue.

Except replace "Mr. Simpson" with "you guys" and "keep to a budget" with "post in the appropriate thread".

I predicted every last word of this ;)

ETA - except the Simpsons quote. So I guess I lied.

[eleanorigby]

OK PEOPLE I GET WHO JEANIE IS NOW. Please to be stopping the PMs now. :o

I suck at names, but hello and welcome anyway. Where were we?

[Clockwork Jackal]

I don't. Still. Someone PM me?

[Scuba Ben]

Peemed

[Clockwork Jackal]

Thanks! I'm now here smacking my forehead going "Duh!"

Oh, and hi Jeanie! :)

[Mr. Plumbean]

I don't know either. Somebody can PM me and I'll say "who?" but at least you tried to help.

[mwm]

Hi, Jeannie! I remember you.


(Toward the end of the thread): Zombie thread in Pit! Grrrarrr! We are mean bar people! You just asked to be attacked!

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=422951

Chimera insists on his right to be an asshole, and Bubbadog thinks they're some tough.

I did like the response (forget who) that was something like "August 2012? The class of 2002 isn't looking so good right now, either."

[Hibbins]

Well, I either had a fairly severe case, or I'm a huge pansy...

I'm going with the former! :haw:

That's cool. Wasn't trying to besmirch your pain tolerance. As is usually the case with anecdotes they fall all over the spectrum. From what I experienced I have no doubt that it would truly suck if it were much worse or one had never experienced other breathing related issues.

[horseradish]

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15434938&postcount=133

Ah, gotta love the Dope, where socially inept idiots try to feel superior over others over something as dumb as bumping a zombie thread.
Not to mention how dumb it is that so many of them look down on new posters. I can't count how many times over the last few months I've seen one of these wannabe bullies alienate a new poster over something trivial and ridiculous.

[Guinastasia]

And grude's sister should keep this kid why (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=663800)?

This kid SHOULD be in foster care. What a fuck-up.

[horseradish]

whoops, didn't notice that someone else already noticed Chimera acting crazy. :) Glad to know that I'm not the only one who thought that was ridiculous.

[Mr. Plumbean]

And grude's sister should keep this kid why (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=663800)?

This kid SHOULD be in foster care. What a fuck-up.

That story depresses the hell out of me.

[Kat]

Moved from the old snark thread. Don't post in old snark threads, fucktard. If you want to reply, click the multiquote button, then come hit reply in the new thread.Am I the only person who wanted you to give RVB mod powers for one day, just so I can watch the fireworks from a safe distance?

(The Atlantic Ocean should be big enough to buffer me from the fallout, right? Right?)
No. No, you weren't (and no, the ocean probably isn't a sufficient buffer - but it'd be worth it).

[Fenris]

I think they decided to leave old snark threads unlocked going forward to allow quote/multiquote from old thread to new.
Yes, but I've already given up on that foolish pipe dream -- we got a bunch more posts in the old thread even after I moved Fair Point's. To explain the situation with an appropriate Simpsons quote:

Financial Planner: Mr. Simpson, let me be honest. You are too "stupid" to keep to a budget.
Homer: Continue.

Except replace "Mr. Simpson" with "you guys" and "keep to a budget" with "post in the appropriate thread".

So in other words, I was right in the first place before you tried to tamper with it. :D

[FairPoint]

And we get to be there at the start of the breakup of another Durper marriage, this time it's grude. (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=663796)

Could he possibly be any more pathetic? Seriously, calling your mommy about this lame shit?

[eleanorigby]

Even lamer when you consider their baby is now in college.






(I totally made that up, but it's funny to me). :science:

[zweisamkeit]

Except replace "Mr. Simpson" with "you guys" and "keep to a budget" with "post in the appropriate thread".

That makes me think of one of my favorite Simpsons quotes:

Lionel Hutz: Now don't you worry, Mrs. Simpson, I... uh-oh. We've drawn Judge Snyder.
Marge: Is that bad?
Lionel Hutz: Well, he's had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog.
Marge: You did?
Lionel Hutz: Well, replace the word "kinda" with the word "repeatedly," and the word "dog" with "son."

[FairPoint]

Awwww, the Dopes discover that their pwecious ittle perfect ittle angewic ittle gifted snowfwakes aren't gifted after all, but average little snotty brats just like all the other snotty brats that constitute the kiddie set today. (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=663663)

:haw::haw::D

[Pere]

That's not what that says. At all.

[Clockwork Jackal]

Can we report people for shitty snark in this thread?

Just wondering...

[Kat]

Someone should tell FairPoint that there's enough real snark targets that he doesn't have to resort to making stuff up.

[McNutty]

Awwww, the Dopes discover that their pwecious ittle perfect ittle angewic ittle gifted snowfwakes aren't gifted after all, but average little snotty brats just like all the other snotty brats that constitute the kiddie set today. (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=663663)

:haw::haw::D

Your baby talk schtick is old and you are stupid.

[ryevermouthbitters]

Haven't you guys already permaboxed this asshole under at least one name?

[Tuco Salamanca]

I'm a noob, so forgive me if this is stupid... but isn't the point of this place that you can have some common sense moderation and not have to resort to Dope Copyrighted Rules Lawyering for every infraction? If a poster only posts shit, why not just permabox them? Unless they are actually contributing in a different part of this forum (I'm not judging; I only post in BYB) why keep them around to the point where everyone has to have some unspoken agreement to ignore them?

Also, communal candy jars are stupid and I can't believe I just read 200+ posts about them.

[Tuckerfan]

I'm a noob, so forgive me if this is stupid... but isn't the point of this place that you can have some common sense moderation and not have to resort to Dope Copyrighted Rules Lawyering for every infraction? If a poster only posts shit, why not just permabox them? Unless they are actually contributing in a different part of this forum (I'm not judging; I only post in BYB) why keep them around to the point where everyone has to have some unspoken agreement to ignore them?

Also, communal candy jars are stupid and I can't believe I just read 200+ posts about them.

FP is pretty much a tard everywhere, so permaboxing wouldn't be a bad thing at all.

[Salambo]

I'm a noob, so forgive me if this is stupid... but isn't the point of this place that you can have some common sense moderation and not have to resort to Dope Copyrighted Rules Lawyering for every infraction? If a poster only posts shit, why not just permabox them? Unless they are actually contributing in a different part of this forum (I'm not judging; I only post in BYB) why keep them around to the point where everyone has to have some unspoken agreement to ignore them?

Also, communal candy jars are stupid and I can't believe I just read 200+ posts about them.

I agree. And I want candy.

No more rules lawyering, seriously. If someone is being a shit, box them for being a shit. People don't like that? Box them, too. I'm feeling capricious tonight.

[AClockworkMelon]

Awwww, the Dopes discover that their pwecious ittle perfect ittle angewic ittle gifted snowfwakes aren't gifted after all, but average little snotty brats just like all the other snotty brats that constitute the kiddie set today. (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=663663)

:haw::haw::D

Your baby talk schtick is old and you are stupid.Hey fucko, watch it. I think the guy is legitimately disabled. You should be ashamed.

[Giraffe]

Awwww, the Dopes discover that their pwecious ittle perfect ittle angewic ittle gifted snowfwakes aren't gifted after all, but average little snotty brats just like all the other snotty brats that constitute the kiddie set today. (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=663663)

:haw::haw::D
OK, Fenris keeps Boxing you for crap like this and you keep doing it. Also, everyone hates you. So let's try a longer Boxing this time... (And it's going to become forever in short order if you don't stop being so horrible.)

See you next month.

[Salambo]

Your baby talk schtick is old and you are stupid.Hey fucko, watch it. I think the guy is legitimately disabled. You should be ashamed.

You saying it's a speech impediment? Oh damn.

[mothedrine]

OK, Fenris keeps Boxing you for crap like this and you keep doing it. Also, everyone hates you. So let's try a longer Boxing this time... (And it's going to become forever in short order if you don't stop being so horrible.)

See you next month.
Hmm. You didn't specify a year, so I guess there's still hope.

[Alice_in_Wonderland]

Jesus Fuck Lynn is an idiot. I can't link, I'm on my phone, but every post of hers in the 'Pashmina as birthday gift.' thread makes me want to punch a kitten. For fuck's sake woman, we get it - you prefer wash and wear polyester mumus but some people actually like nice things! Gah. I'm worked up over a scarf. I need to go to bed.

[Salambo]

I noticed her in that thread, too, Alice. I was laughing at her. "Well, for some of us laundry is chore and not enjoyable!" Goddamn, woman, everything in life takes effort. I mean, all that cat fur ain't gonna clean itself out of that gulch. Christ. (I thought a pashmina would be a wonderful gift; seriously, I got a gift card strictly for my use following the birth of my baby, honest to god, first thing I spent it on was scarves and pashminas. Wasn't thinking along "oh I has babby now" lines, they're just comfy and stylish and always fit properly AND I can rarely justify the expense, so woop woop, pashminas.)

[mothedrine]

I had to look up 'pashima.' Are they pretty much by definition made from cashmere? Because if they are, Ooooooooooo. :wow:

[Caught@Work]

I had to look up 'pashima.' Are they pretty much by definition made from cashmere? Because if they are, Ooooooooooo. :wow:
No. Cashminas are made from cashmere. Pashminas are made from Pashmere.

[Zombies!]

Jesus Fuck Lynn is an idiot. I can't link, I'm on my phone, but every post of hers in the 'Pashmina as birthday gift.' thread makes me want to punch a kitten. For fuck's sake woman, we get it - you prefer wash and wear polyester mumus but some people actually like nice things! Gah. I'm worked up over a scarf. I need to go to bed.

Just for you (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=663716), my dear.

[elmwood]

Jesus Fuck Lynn is an idiot. I can't link, I'm on my phone, but every post of hers in the 'Pashmina as birthday gift.' thread makes me want to punch a kitten. For fuck's sake woman, we get it - you prefer wash and wear polyester mumus but some people actually like nice things! Gah. I'm worked up over a scarf. I need to go to bed.

From that thread:

I hate anything that needs handwashing/dry cleaning anyway, and if I get something that requires this special care, I just don't wear it,

She does have a point. Filling up the bathtub to wash a wool sweater seems like it could be time consuming.

[Zombies!]

Not really. If it's a single and not terribly bulky item, it's pretty easy to wash it in a laundry tub or a bucket or rubbermaid tub or something that's not a whole bathtub. It can be a production to deal with, it doesn't mean it has to be.

And what Lynn is conveniently ignoring in that thread is that the OP has said his wife would adore a special "luxury" material pashmina/shawl, especially if he pairs it with a little note saying he'll hand-wash it as required for the next couple of years. But nooo, LYNN HATES DOMESTIC GRR I AM NOT A BREEDER AND HOUSE-WENCH. I PLAY D&D AND READ SCI-FI!

[Popinki]

Yes, but I've already given up on that foolish pipe dream -- we got a bunch more posts in the old thread even after I moved Fair Point's. To explain the situation with an appropriate Simpsons quote:

Financial Planner: Mr. Simpson, let me be honest. You are too "stupid" to keep to a budget.
Homer: Continue.

Except replace "Mr. Simpson" with "you guys" and "keep to a budget" with "post in the appropriate thread".

Continue.

[happycamper*5]

Jesus Fuck Lynn is an idiot. I can't link, I'm on my phone, but every post of hers in the 'Pashmina as birthday gift.' thread makes me want to punch a kitten. For fuck's sake woman, we get it - you prefer wash and wear polyester mumus but some people actually like nice things! Gah. I'm worked up over a scarf. I need to go to bed.

I loved this:

Babies spit up, and pee, and poop. It's what they do, and parents need to realize this. Parents have to make lifestyle adjustments.

I'm not a parent, but I know plenty of them who manage to be good parents while also leaving space for personal luxuries. Maybe if Lynn had learned how to do that, she wouldn't resent her daughter so much.

[elmwood]

Not really. If it's a single and not terribly bulky item, it's pretty easy to wash it in a laundry tub or a bucket or rubbermaid tub or something that's not a whole bathtub. It can be a production to deal with, it doesn't mean it has to

What I was trying to imply is that an article of her clothing can't fit in a normal sink or wash tub.

[Zombies!]

Not really. If it's a single and not terribly bulky item, it's pretty easy to wash it in a laundry tub or a bucket or rubbermaid tub or something that's not a whole bathtub. It can be a production to deal with, it doesn't mean it has to

What I was trying to imply is that an article of her clothing can't fit in a normal sink or wash tub.

Fairly played, my weaksauce defence is that I've had about 4 hours sleep in the last 48 and totally missed the implication. Carry on :science:

[Mr. Plumbean]

FWIW, I got the joke and LOL'd.

[Velveeta Jones]

I like this quote:

"While many of these items were lovely, most of them were only worn a time or two. I didn't have the time or energy to hand wash stuff, or take it to the cleaners."

Gulch admits she can't be bothered to hand wash a few gifts and I guess tosses them or something.

[Scuba Ben]

I loved this:

Babies spit up, and pee, and poop. It's what they do, and parents need to realize this. Parents have to make lifestyle adjustments.

I'm not a parent, but I know plenty of them who manage to be good parents while also leaving space for personal luxuries. Maybe if Lynn had learned how to do that, she wouldn't resent her daughter so much.

I get the impression Lynn is saying that as a Bad Thing. And she is so very wrong. (I changed a poopy diaper this morning before coming to work, and I thought it was a good way to start the day.)

And yes, personal luxuries are a rare treat for the first few months.

It seems to me Lynn hated being a kid and hates kids period. I'm glad I'm not posting over there these days; I wouldn't want Snorkle Maiden to get any nth-hand bad vibes.

(Yes, babies eat and poop. In between the two, they grow. It's so :cool: to watch our daughter grow.)

ETA @ tagger of "Rigs still not too bright": GTFO or be whacked with a rolled up magazine.

[mwm]

Okay, in this thread (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=663706), the OP asks about why a couple of jokes on The Big Bang Theory were funny. He gets a few different responses, and it's a nice thread showing how subjective humor can be. Then Dr. Doom comes in (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15435994&postcount=6) and shits on the thread like Lynn after pepper. It's not that he doesn't find the jokes funny; it's that they cannot be funny, period.

[Alice_in_Wonderland]

I loved this:

Babies spit up, and pee, and poop. It's what they do, and parents need to realize this. Parents have to make lifestyle adjustments.
.

I know - I have a toddler at home, but wouldn't know anything about making lifestyle adjustments:rolleyes: - Jesus H. Tapdancing Rhudabaga Christ that women is a cunt.

Also, Zombies!, you are a peach. :)

[DogMom]

(Yes, babies eat and poop. )
At least they don't skip the "and" in that sentence. Usually. :grossout:

I wanted to reach through the computer screen and take Bodoni's computer away. Seriously, he's offering to wash it for her, yes, we ALL get it, you hate domestic you hate your kid blah blah blah. That doesn't have anything to do with what he is willing to do and what will make him and his wife happy. Shut up you stupid, nasty harpy.

[Alice_in_Wonderland]

I had to look up 'pashima.' Are they pretty much by definition made from cashmere? Because if they are, Ooooooooooo. :wow:

Yep, pretty much...

No. Cashminas are made from cashmere. Pashminas are made from Pashmere.

Although this is a much better answer. :D

[Popinki]

:facepalm: Wow. Not only does Lynn manage to work her #2 and assorted vagcretions into every damn thread she posts in, she's now threadshitting as well.

[Scuba Ben]

Isn't threadshitting a clear violation of "Don't be a jerk"? It should get at least a Mod Caution, if not a Mod Warning.

Mod Cautions look like: "Mod hat on. Don't do that. No warning issued."