Ask the Discordian

[Khampelf]

I'm one of those (un)fortunates who belongs to a religion of whom he is the only member. However, when pressed to give myself a label, I choose 'Discordian', worshippers of the Greek goddess Eris (Roman-Discordia).

People only see the joke to it, lumping us (me) with pastafarians and Sub-Genii, but there are some valid psychological lessons in The Principia Discordia.

Any questions? You, you in the full pirate regalia, yes?

[NAF1138]

I don't have a good question yet because I don't know enough about it. What should I, as someone who is ignorant of all but the most superficial aspects of Discordianism, know? How would you despcribe your religion to, say, a stranger at a work party who had the gall to ask?

[Hi, Neighbor!]

Where do I sign up?

[Illuminati Primus]

Lurks in the shadows threateningly

[Khampelf]

I don't have a good question yet because I don't know enough about it. What should I, as someone who is ignorant of all but the most superficial aspects of Discordianism, know? How would you despcribe your religion to, say, a stranger at a work party who had the gall to ask?

The Discordian Society has no definition.

I sometimes think of it as a disorganization of Eris Freaks. It has been called a guerrilla mind theatre. Episkopos Randomfactor, Director of Purges of Our People's Underworld Movement sect in Larchmont, prefers "The World's Greatest Association of What-ever-it-is-that-we-are." Lady Mal thinks of it as a RENAISSANCE THINK TANK. Fang the Unwashed, WKC, won't say. You can think of it any way you like.


There are several Principia Discordia sites, I have no preference, but an easy one to remember is

www.principiadiscordia.com

[Khampelf]

Where do I sign up?


Note: POEE means something like Para-Theo-Anameta-Mystichood of Eris, Esoteric. I'm a splitter, I just use 'Temple of Eris' when I have call to.


HOW TO START A POEE CABAL
WITHOUT MESSING AROUND WITH THE POLYFATHER

If you can't find the Polyfather, or having found him, don't want anything to do with him, you are still authorized to form your own POEE CABAL and do Priestly Things, using the Principia Discordia as a guide. Your Official Rank will be POEE CHAPLIN for the LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD, which is exactly the same as a POEE PRIEST except that you don't have an Ordination Certificate. The words you are now reading are your ordination.

HOW TO BECOME A POEE CHAPLIN
1. Write the ERISIAN AFFIRMATION in five copies.
2. Sign and nose-print each copy.
3. Send one to the President of the United States.
4. Send one to
The California State Bureau of Furniture
and Bedding
1021 'D' Street, Sacramento CA 94814
5. Nail one to a telephone pole. Hide one. And burn the other. Then consult your pineal gland.



Myself, I'm an Episkopos. I speak for myself, and those who like what I have to say. My 'Heart of Gold' cabal has two members, myself and the high priestess. We do a lot of sex magick. It's more interesting than prayer to dedicate an act of love.

[Khampelf]

Lurks in the shadows threateningly



Oh, come now. Don't be so standoffish. We know you returned the pornography, and all is forgiven.

We also know you really just want what we all want, you're just to shy to say so...


"Lurking for love, in all the wrong places..."

[Andrew Jackson's Hair]

Do you think discordians would have some cultural relevancy if they didn't try just so darn hard?

[Khampelf]

Do you think discordians would have some cultural relevancy if they didn't try just so darn hard?



I doubt most of us want any. If religion is the opiate of the masses, discordianism is the marijuanna of the lunatic fringe.

[Uthrecht]

Even more so, I'd argue that if Discordianism became culturally relevant or popular, it would stop being Discordianism.

[Knowed Out]

I don't want to ask you anything. If I do, you'll turn me into a Discordian priest, and that will violate the Discordian rule against protheletyzing.

[Illuminati Primus]

I don't want to ask you anything. If I do, you'll turn me into a Discordian priest, and that will violate the Discordian rule against protheletyzing.You fool - you've played right into their trap!

:p

[Khampelf]

You fool - you've played right into their trap!

:p



He's right. You're a Pope now. (read the fine print)

http://www.principiadiscordia.com/book/43.php


And there's no catma against proslytising, that I know of. In fact, a holy script is given thusly....


A PRIMER FOR ERISIAN EVANGELISTS by Lord Omar

The SOCRATIC APPROACH is most successful when confronting the ignorant. The "socratic approach" is what you call starting an argument by asking questions. You approach the innocent and simply ask "Did you know that God's name is ERIS, and that He is a girl?" If he should answer "Yes." then he probably is a fellow Erisian and so you can forget it. If he says "No." then quickly proceed to:
THE BLIND ASSERTION and say "Well, He Is a girl, and His name is ERIS!" Shrewedly observe if the subject is convinced. If he is, swear him into the Legion of Dynamic Discord before he changes his mind. If he does not appear convinced, then proceed to:
THE FAITH BIT: "But you must have Faith! All is lost without Faith! I sure feel sorry for you if you don't have Faith." And then add:
THE ARGUMENT BY FEAR and in an ominous voice ask "Do you know what happens to those who deny Goddess?" If he hesitates, don't tell him that he will surely be reincarnated as a precious Mao Button and distributed to the poor in the Region of Thud (which would be a mean thing to say), just shake your head sadly and, while wiping a tear from your eye, go to:
THE FIRST CLAUSE PLOY wherein you point to all of the discord and confusion in the world and exclaim "Well who the hell do you think did all of this, wise guy?" If he says, "Nobody, just impersonal forces." then quickly respond with:
THE ARGUMENT BY SEMANTICAL GYMNASTICS and say that he is absolutely right, and that those impersonal forces are female and that Her name is ERIS. If he, wonder of wonders, still remains obstinate, then finally resort to:
THE FIGURATIVE SYMBOLISM DODGE and confide that sophisticated people like himself recognize that Eris is a Figurative Symbol for an Ineffable Metaphysical Reality and that The Erisian Movement is really more like a poem than like a science and that he is liable to be turned into a Precious Mao Button and Distributed to The Poor in The Region of Thud if he does not get hip. Then put him on your mailing list.

[Speusippus]

I'm one of those (un)fortunates who belongs to a religion of whom he is the only member. However, when pressed to give myself a label, I choose 'Discordian', worshippers of the Greek goddess Eris (Roman-Discordia).

People only see the joke to it, lumping us (me) with pastafarians and Sub-Genii, but there are some valid psychological lessons in The Principia Discordia.

Any questions? You, you in the full pirate regalia, yes?

What are some of the valid psychological lessons in the P.Discordia?

[Khampelf]

What are some of the valid psychological lessons in the P.Discordia?

The law of fives states that all things happen in patterns of five, or are related somehow to the number five, given enough ingenuity on the part of the observer. I find that led me to believe that you find what you are looking for, we are pattern seekers. So, by choosing what to look for, you can have a more positive outlook, be happier, have more fun. If you choose to focus on things to get pissed off about, congrats, you're pissed off. You create your own reality, and you are responsible for anything you feel. Anyway, others have expressed this as:

I think most people are as 'happy as they decide to be'; & 'we are all better artists than we know'. --usually misattributed


hail Eris (all hail discordia)

[jali]

Now that stupid jingle, "Five dollar foot-long" is stuck in my head. Thanks.

I rebuke your church (do you know any zealots that use "rebuke" while preaching?) If not then disregard very weak joke.

[Khampelf]

Now that stupid jingle, "Five dollar foot-long" is stuck in my head. Thanks.

I rebuke your church (do you know any zealots that use "rebuke" while preaching?) If not then disregard very weak joke.


I remember christian comedian Mike Warnke using the word. "I rebuke you in the name of Jesus Christ".

rebuke away, brother.

[Speusippus]

So, by choosing what to look for, you can have a more positive outlook, be happier, have more fun. If you choose to focus on things to get pissed off about, congrats, you're pissed off. You create your own reality, and you are responsible for anything you feel.

I just want to make sure about something. You know, right, that this can only be taken so far? That some things can happen that a person would be insane or irresponsible not to feel unhappy about?

[Khampelf]

I just want to make sure about something. You know, right, that this can only be taken so far? That some things can happen that a person would be insane or irresponsible not to feel unhappy about?



I would rather be insane and irresponsible, than unhappy.

Brings us to another Discordian principle.

"All statements are true in some sense, false in some sense, and meaningless in some sense."

[Jick]

Have you seen the fnords?

[Khampelf]

Have you seen the fnords?

Not only do I see them, I study the patterns, and contemplate the meanings.

I can think for hours on what a particular fnord might mean.


That's right...




















I have a fnord focus.


:eek: