Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! (or, why do I still post on the dope?)
 

Hello everyone, so I'm making a resolution to spend more time here because I'm reading more and more shit on our sibling site that makes me think :smack::rolleyes::verymad::facepalm:, and not necessarily in that order.

I just contributed to a thread by someone asking for some tips on public speaking to a large crowd and a recurring theme was drugs, like beta blockers and anxiety medication, and alcohol. When I pointed out how insane that was I was told to take my sanctimonious views elsewhere because, hey, it's not like they were telling them to take benzodiazipates or anything.

Again :smack::rolleyes::verymad::facepalm:

So what's new on the Raffe? I'm behind on my memes and in jokes. Plus can I not be left behind any more? I want to catch up. :meek:

shit steam pork boot is a pretty new one i believe

(i'm a little drunk btw)

(also IP, if I were gay, phwoarrrr fuck yeah!!! but i'm not :()

Memes? We don't do memes here.

Now while we've got you here, let's make sure your record is up to date. Pizza or bread? Pirates or ninjas? Kermit or Cookie Monster? :takes notes:

That should be all.

Sorry about that. I'm going to bed now.

Oooo, I don't think I've answered the Kermit vs Cookie Monster one! I'd go for the Cookie Monster, because he knows what's important in life. Kermit just sits there and sings stupid songs about pigs.

Awwwwwwwwww, thanks Mbossa! You've cheered me up a lot. :meek:

Which photoshopped picture of me were you looking at to make that judgement?

Pizza. Pirates. Kermit.

Anything else?

I can't really remember, but I remember seeing a picture of you and thinking "aw yeah, if I were gay, then yeah".

But to be honest, the only time I've really truly questioned my sexuality was seeing David Gilmour singing Saucerful Of Secrets in Live At Pompeii with his hair plastered across his face. This video starting at about 8:35 (but watch the whole thing if you're into the Floyd). PHWOAR FUCK YEAH.

Alright, going to bed before I embarrass myself too much.

Pizza?

::stomps off::

Thank you for playing, but I'm afraid I have to inform you that a 1/3 score means you'll have to stay at the Durp.

The correct answers are, of course: pizza, vikings, and Cookie Monster.

Eh, like I care which photo, all I care about is that people in general would do me :p
Maybe a bit late...

Noooooooooooooo! Don't make me! I love vikings, I'm moving to Sweden next month and everything!!!!!!

Welcome back IP. Feel free to discuss the Dope's fails in this week's BYB thread.

Just out of curiosity, how bad is it over there?

Ignore these clowns and post away. You may enjoy the Durp Snark threads in Behind Your Back where you can link to threads like the one in your OP so everyone else can join you in pointing and laughing at them.

Yeah, what URT said. Ignore those clowns, come hang out with these clowns!

Instead of drugs, I would recommend very heavy drinking.

What I thought was funny about that thread: I was an early answerer. I added a few different points to what had already been said. Virtually everyone else posting later merely restated what the early few had already said, but it's so obvious that they said it SO MUCH BETTER.

THAT'S one of the annoying things over there. It's still mostly fun, tho.

I will hang out with these clowns, they don't scare me so much. Not sure if I care enough to post in the durpsnark thread but you never know :)

NoClueBoy - I thought the same thing. I tried to ensure my advice didn't include anything that had already been said but by the point I'd unsubbed had read plenty of the same stuff recycled by different people. As you say, why the fuck?

Take your sanctimonious views elsewhere! :mad:


;)

Well, one of the first things to have them try is to actually leave the house, or at least leave the basement.

This is going to be hilarious when you wake up.

I'm not sure GB is considered "sibling" to SDMB; I don't consider it so, anyway. I think of Durp more as the doddering, corrupt, antiquated "old country" from which we sailed to start a better world. Why anyone would want to go back is beyond me.

Yes, you have a point. It's smaller so you get a bit less of a conversation here when you try to have one, but I can honestly say it's never made me want to hurl my monitor across the room in angspair.

(Anger+despair. It's a word if I say it's a word.)

Some of us left the old cuntry, I mean old country, to be free to practice our own religious intolerance. Some of us left because the for-profit prison system couldn't make a profit on us. Some of us left in chains. And a very few of us left to wage war on the Mother Church.

It was a six-week voyage, and nobody bathed. :grossout: We were used to it, though.

IP, don't feel left out of the loop. I missed the Jaledin meltdown yesterday.

Things happen so quickly, you never know when something is about to go down.

:wow: I am totally stealing that.

Wait, there was a whatsisname meltdown? I put him on ignore just before he got entertaining? Dammit.

Desger.

Since I've been back visiting the old country (after a long, self imposed hiatus), I've unsubbed from a lot more threads than I ever have in the multiple years before. Even the lightest of fun threads can turn in an instant to a pack of drooling, nitpicking, unhappy pedants.

Link to the meltdown?

Gladly.

Stop fucking talking about me

Huh. We don't get good meltdowns around here either anymore. Poop. :(

Although the Uncyclopedia thing was great.

Check BYB threads here and here for earlier developments. I suspect the real melting point was a little before, as haj said. "Some shit" happened, and now he's "tired."

I could meltdown for ya, if you want. Do you want unabashed sobbing or obscenities in all-caps?

Illuminati, people were talking about pharma as a solution to public speaking? Really? Damn. Can't anybody deal with run-of-the-mill shit anymore? Do people take beta blockers before job interviews now?

I started giving up on the Durp ages ago when I asked a GQ question about why beer on tap made my stomach hurt. A key component to my OP was that a single half-pint could make my stomach hurt. Way too many people suggested that, due to all the confusion that glassware apparently causes and a presumed inability to count, I was losing track of how many pints I'd ordered, so of course that's why I was getting drunk enough to puke. :confused: I did eventually get a proper answer, but I had to wade through all sorts of shit that looked like it came from Yahoo Answers. :: shudder :: GQ used to be the most reasonable, and well-reasoned, forum on the Durp. It was a sign of shit to come.

The straw that broke the camel's back was a funny, irreverent thread that turned to sour shit as soon as the Offenderatti caught a whiff. They told you to take your sanctimonious shit elsewhere, meanwhile a goodly portion of them froth at the mouth in moral outrage - on behalf of someone (anyone) else - for some tiny, perceived slight to which no reasonable person would take offence in the real world. I just couldn't take the most benign ordinary thread getting derailed anymore.

Plus, I like being able to call all of you fuckwits when I feel like it, without fear of bannination.



Fuckwits.

ETA: This.

Yes. That and alcohol, because it's well known that when you're drunk you give high quality professional presentations, and that employers look favourably on that.

Says you wanker.

Well, that would explain why one of the guys here who has to do cold calls has a bottle of bourbon in his desk. Come 5pm it's all "G'night Mushtard Shitstain - hic."

When they say "We run a tight ship around here," they mean the 3 sheets to the wind def of tight.

And to be able to occasionally talk about what kind of gun you own without being called a murdering psychopathic moral deficient.

Yea, we just call you a cunt and be done with it.




:D

'Zactly.


Troublemaker.

:D

I spent a few minutes at the Dope yesterday and was so impressed that I dug up my login for here... Holy cow! I didn't think it was possible for it to get worse, but they've managed.
I don't know if it's cool to name names here, but a particular aspergerer over there that used to be considered a total nutjob/comedy relief now appears to fit right in.
I'm trying to figure out the tone of this place so I don't annoy everyone right away (I hope to save that for later)

Also, the boobs here are the happy fun kind

STOP TALKING ABOUT THE BOOBS! WE NEED TO ACT ALL CHILD FRIENDLY FOR BLUECOAT YOU IDIOTIC COCK FESTERING TWATBADGER! :mad:

Dude... I just discovered I can walk on two legs. Backwards. It's amazing what you can do, once you give up the Durp. Embrace the power of the Giraffe side....

Bluecoat?

Oh, excuse me--BLUECOAT? :confused:

WTF is blueco--BLUECOAT?

She spends most of her time underground in a tunnel, she doesn't know what she's saying most of the time.

Wait...it *is* called Bluecoat, isn't it? You assholes are confusing me. :sciencefail:

Yeah, it's Bluecoat. Rigs - it's some kind of filtering software that companies have to block websites.

You can start by naming names. Nothing's more annoying than someone who doesn't name names. Start naming those names, dammit!

Ye gods--like I would know that! :astonished: I figured BLUECOAT was some uniform thing SD had to wear to work at Shining Time Station. Those brass buttons are hard to polish!

Severe Delays is Ringo? :confused:

Or maybe she's George Carlin?

Either way, she's got a facial hair problem! :eek:

Nah--she's that lady in the red suit who hung around the train station...

Don't be silly, Carlin is dead! :p