Dear Mr. Giraffe. Please de-lurk and answer this – for the sake of the planet.
 

The planet would like to know, in all honesty, as to how you decorate yourself for x-mas.

Is it a disco bowtie, or do you attire yourself to blinking x-mas lights in your admittedly very sexy horns? Do you plan to put x-mas tree twigs in your ears and pretend to be a shrubbery?

Also, how do you look upon the low life you see from high above, with their boxes and funny hats and stuff?

Inquiring minds want to know!

You're just looking for gift ideas, aren't you?

Does the phrase "buck nekkid" ring a bell?

I believe horseradish is the traditional decorative root of the orthodox ungulate. They're tied with a festive ribbon around the scrotum, which allows the garlic to sway during the wassail dance.

Yeah, and where’s our royalty checks?

They are usually mailed right after his yearly speech - but only to people who attended and answered his yearly x-mas quiz. Not too hard mind you. Last year it was "What do you call an ice cube that has been left in the Californian sun for 4 hours?".
I think we got like 350 bucks each it was sweet.
Giraffe Bux - not dollars mind you.
I say, stay tuned!

Ugly Christmas sweater.

WHAT did you call me... Oh. Well sure.

It never hurts to understand your failings.

(now WHERE did I put that, uhhh.. whatever it was... Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most....)

Its right there, in the freezer, behind the strawberry ice cream and the car keys.
Next to the TNT and the meatloaf from 2005.You can't miss it!

Do people keep TNT in their freezer just for storage, or is there a benefit to freezing your TNT? Have I been storing my explosives wrong this entire time?!

Might be a good thread to post in Better Living Through Posting!

@Tripler is the expert here.

In this case we know the answer. Dont mess around with TNT.

Just moving this to set something up...

oh oh

Oh, and to answer the question, he's wrapped in tinsel and blinking lights. Look, he's there anyway, so why spend money on a tree?

A 7 foot tree will fit in my living room. A 17 foot giraffe, not so much. And you don't have to feed the tree.

The exact thing I thought about when I saw the phrase.

On tonight's episode of Bad Idea Theater: @Senpai reaches into the refrigerator for some cauliflower casserole leftovers. When she reaches for the butter, and mistakenly grabs the TNT, hijinks ensue when she tries to warm everything up in the microwave!

Long story short, there's no chemical/material benefit to storing TNT in the fridge. The human error element though . . .

Tripler
I'll take a side of green bean casserole without the blast & frag, please.

You haven't had the green bean casserole my mother's friend from church makes. It's ALL blast & frag, 9.8 or better on the Rectum Scale. :jaw:

Funnily enough, there's ALWAYS an un-eaten dish of that stuff at EVERY church potluck... How her family survives the leftovers is a mystery no-one has ever managed to solve. It probably involves shipping it off-planet.

I feel like it's Jim that needs to be the star of the Bad Idea Theater! He was the one who mentioned he stored his TNT in the fridge! Though I do like the idea of hijinks and making a totally-real audience laugh.

I'm just glad I've been storing my TNT correctly, phew! :science:

Happy to help.

Say, do you think Giraffe will show up?

He's probably peeking in the attic window as I post...

He's busy carving the roast beast.

I thought he was the roast beast.

Oh, BTW, for our Jewish members, Giraffe is kosher, if you kill 'em right. Getting the shochet up on the ladder without falling off is a bit of a problem, but, hey, ya gotta eat.

From what I hear and gather from the internet, the humane way to sedate a Giraffe is to tickle its armpits with a shrubbery.