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Drew, we all have a dark side, and if some of us -- and by "some of us" I mean me -- ever came completely clean about what goes on in our minds sometimes, other posters may recoil in horror. We all have desires we've never acted on, and sometimes the not-acting-on can be almost physically painful. So you are not alone, and I don't think anyone on this message board is in any position to judge you.
You may already know that I place great value on people being civilized toward each other, and one of the hallmarks of a civilized person is to voluntarily transcend one's base desires. By that measure you are one of the most civilized people I know.
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