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A farmer goes to the vet with a problem. His bull isn't servicing his cows and his livelihood depends on having new calves. The vet gives the farmer a pill to give his bull more vitality. A few days later the farmer is back:
"Doc, the pill you gave me didn't do the trick, the bull just stands around in the pasture eating. He doesn't even give the cows a sniff!"
"Okay," says doc, "give him a shot of this." and sends the farmer home with a bottle of elixer.
A few days later the farmer's back at the vet's. "Doc, that elixir you gave me didn't do nothin' at all for my bull!"
"Okay, I didn't want to do this," doc explains, "but we can't have things stand this way. This is going to sound strange, but here's what you need to do. Go out to the pasture with your cows. Lift up one of their tails and rub your fist around her vagina. Then head right to your bull and rub that fist in his nose. I guarantee he'll take care of business."
The farmer leaves the vet's office feeling cheated. He does his chores, all the while keeping an eye on the bull. Nothing.
After a few hours the farmer thinks, "Well, what do I have to lose?" so he heads out to the pasture and lifts one of the cow's tails, closes his eyes and rubs his fist around. He did as the vet recommended and rubbed his fist in the bull's nose. He went home (and washed his hands) and went to bed.
After a few weeks he discovered that almost all his cows were pregnant! He couldn't believe it!
After this spectacular success, the farmer starts thinking maybe he could use this technique for himself. He had been having trouble "servicing" his wife, and things at home had gotten a little cool so he thinks he'll give it try himself.
Late one night after his wife had already gone to bed, the farmer approached his sleeping wife, lifted her nightgown, rubbed his fist around and then rupped it on his own nose. Sure enough, he instantly got an enormous erection! He was so excited, he flipped on the light and shouted to his wife, "Wake up! Look honey!"
His wife turns a bleary eye on her husband and mutters, "You woke me up just to tell me you have a bloody nose?!"
With apologies to my grandmother for telling her joke while drunk.
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