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I mentioned the Barbara de Angelis book "What Women Want Men To Know" in another thread recently. In it, she describes the process as spiraling. She says it isn't because the speaker is confused or distracted or stupid, but because she is a) mentally processing, and b) connecting with the listener. It causes problems in relationships, not just from the why-can't-she-get-to-the-point-and-shut-up point of view of the men, but because she asks him a question and is alarmed when he doesn't immediately start talking out his answer — no, he stays silent for a moment while he thinks of what he's going to say. So she assumes he's shutting her out. Weird.
Not a bad book, as those things go; it's not the kind of psychology I'd apply even-handedly to every human female alive, but insightful nevertheless.
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