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A hotel is hosting a Baptist ministers convention and a sales convention. The for their last day luncheon, both groups had ordered watermelon as a refresher, except the salesmen wanted theirs 'plugged'. The hotel was happy to comply.
The two groups were served, when one of the salesmen called the waiter over. "Taste this!", he said. The waiter did and was shocked to find it was not the spiked melon. Then realization hit.
As he told the head waiter about the mix-up, the head waiter said, "Well, did you warn the Baptists?!?"
"I tried, but they were too busy stuffing the seeds in their pockets to listen."
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A Baptist, an Episcopalian, and a Pentacostal went fishing out on a lake one day. The Episcopalian said, "Drat, I've left my tacklebox on shore. Sorry, fellas, but we'll need to go back to get it."
"Nonsense.", exclaimed the Baptist. "I'll just run back to shore and get it." With that, he promptly hopped out of the boat, ran across the water, grabbed the box, ran back, climbed in the boat, all with barely getting his shoes wet.
"That's preposterous! You don't even believe in modern miracles! If you can do that, then I, with my faith, surely can!", bellowed the Pentacostal. He then jumped out of the boat and immediately sank to the bottom.
"Guess I should've told him where the rocks are.", winked the Baptist.
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