Fuck You, Panic Alarms

[cinehead]

I have a 2006 Nissan XTerra that came with a panic alarm button on the car alarm remote. This thing is the bane of my existence. I'm a guy and like most guys, I don't carry my keys around in a pocket book. They are either in my pocket or in my hands. I can't say how many times, I either bend over or I am carrying several things in my arms and I set off the stupid fucking alarm. My neighbors must think I'm the biggest idiot. Okay, maybe I am, but for other things.

I don't know why car alarms exist anymore. Who the hell even looks when they hear one going off? No one pays attention to them - especially in a city.

Fuck you Nissan and your stupid fucking red button.

[Borborygmi]

My 2000 Mercury has a similar panic button and by the grace of God I don't accidentally hit it but once in a blue moon.

Here's my beef: I'm not exactly sure what sequence of events triggers it, but sometimes my alarm will go off if I unlock and enter the car in an atypical way... usually when I'm trying to carry stuff in both hands. For example, I'm pretty sure that if I have one free finger, and I use it punch in the code on the keypad to unlock the driver's door, and then use it to open the driver's door, and then use it to power unlock all the doors, and then use it to open one of the rear doors so I can dump whatever I'm carrying into the backseat, I am rewarded for my creativity with a BREEP BREEP BREEP BREEP that I don't know how to stop without dropping everything, fishing my keys out of my pocket, and finding the right remote button.

I think I've finally learned that if I'm carrying that much stuff it's simpler to just walk up to the car, put it all down in the nearest puddle, stand one foot away and use the remote to unlock the car.

This crack alarm system was also very helpful in BREEPing at me every time I tried to exit the car immediately after getting into a parking lot accident in which my driver's door window was shattered.

[Solfy]

I swear I posted this already, but I don't see it.

You can open your key fob and permanently disable the panic button. Worked really well for husband's annoying Mustang.

[SoylentPopTart]

This all takes me back to the days of community college. At that time, it was fashionable to have an aftermarket motion sensing car alarm installed on your car. At any given time walking to class there would be a minimum of 6 alarms going off in the parking lot at a time. Needless to say, they were ignored.

As far as I know, there was no rash of car break-ins at the school. In fact, I never even locked my car at the time because I had four break ins to steal my Craco car stereos (retail value about $25) and the ass wipes in my neighborhood kept breaking my $100 car window to steal them. I was deep in the leave it unlocked and don't leave anything in the car mind set.

I too, now have the panic alarm on my 2004 GMC. It gives me a deep feeling of comfort when I accidentally set off the panic alarm and a crowd of people rush over to make sure I'm OK. If everyone were to ignore me when the panic alarm went off, I would lose my faith in my fellow man.

[SoylentPopTart]

Solfy!!! You're fucking awesome.

I cracked open the fob, put a piece of cello tape under the button and reassembled it. The panic button no longer panics.


I did set it off when I was opening the fob though. But I was in the house so no one saw me.

[Darmund]

Originally Posted by cinehead

I don't know why car alarms exist anymore. Who the hell even looks when they hear one going off? No one pays attention to them - especially in a city.

If I heard a car alarm going off and noticed, for the first time ever during such an event, that someone was actually trying to steal the car, I would cheer them on. "Yay, get that annoying thing out of my neighborhood!"

[WednesdayAddams]

I've used mine once: to find the car in a very confusing parking lot. For that purpose, it works pretty well.

[DoubleJ]

Ditto what Wenz said. I had no idea VWs were so popular here until I bought one. Black Jetta? Here's another 50 just like it. So when I forget where the hell I parked my particular car, I just wander around hitting the "lock" button so I can play Marco Polo with the little meep* noise it makes. It'd be even better if the thing had a range of more than 15 feet.

* It's almost like the thing has two horns -- one for the lock noise, and one in the steering wheel. I always hated the Civic's horn, since the anemic roadrunner noise it made didn't accurately convey my feelings of WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU ASSHOLE whenever an SUV decided I wasn't there. But now I can't nudge people at a light because no matter how lightly I tap the wheel all I can get is HEY ARE YOU GONNA FUCKIN MOVE YOU IDIOT when all I want is "'scuse me, light's green".

[Who_me?]

Originally Posted by WednesdayAddams

I've used mine once: to find the car in a very confusing parking lot. For that purpose, it works pretty well.

Hell, I thought that was the purpose of the button.

[Gumby]

Luckily I think Nissan made an improvement on my car's key fob. I have a 2008 Nisan Sentra. I've bumped the panic button hundreds of times, but it hasn't gone off. After experimenting with it I discovered that a quick press of the button does not set it of. You have to hold the button down few a second or two.

[Stubby Boardman]

Originally Posted by Who_me?

Hell, I thought that was the purpose of the button.

Yeah, I thought the "panic" was if you lost your car.

[The Futility of Nihilism]

Originally Posted by Who_me?

Hell, I thought that was the purpose of the button.

Me too. :o

[Jaglavak]

.... or, you could just pitch all that useless electro-crap and use a key.

[Borborygmi]

Originally Posted by Jaglavak

.... or, you could just pitch all that useless electro-crap and use a key.

I used to feel this way whole-heartedly. But now that I've gotten used to the remote entry, I ain't going back.

[Chacoguy]

Or you could live somewhere where the parking lots are too small to lose your car and the keys just stay in the ignition permanently.

[Clayton_e]

Where I am (far far far northern NY) its smaller sized cities and you just don't see or hear them much..

Once on vacation I had to go to an Urgicare center for an ear infection so I was in a commercial area in a rather urban setting (not quite city, but definitely urban). An alarm was going off in the parking lot for several minutes and nobody even batted an eye. I went up to the desk and asked about it and they looked at me odd and said it happened all the time, she didn't even notice it. Bothered the living piss out of me..

[Zeener Diode]

Originally Posted by WednesdayAddams

I've used mine once: to find the car in a very confusing parking lot. For that purpose, it works pretty well.

I don't want to alarm you (pun not intended) but doing this can also attract potential thieves to your car. Never do this in an underground or poorly-lit lot.

[IronHorse]

Originally Posted by Zeener Diode

I don't want to alarm you (pun not intended) but doing this can also attract potential thieves to your car. Never do this in an underground or poorly-lit lot.

So you're saying that a theft alarm has the exact opposite purpose? I'm gonna have to pull a Doper and ask for a cite. Sounds kinda Urban Legendy to me.