Snark-22

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

We're nearing a 1,000 posts! Quick! Someone start a new snark thread before Fenris does and tards it up!

(Cowards. Finish out the previous thread, at least.)


ETA: Old thread

[Someone]

Doot. Toot. Doot. Toot. Ah, Thailand.

[Someone]

Nope, nope, nope.

Renaming thread to what was agreed on.

[Someone]

Gonna start calling you Fenris, Junior. I didn't see no agreement.


(Sorry I forgot the link.)

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Gonna start calling you Fenris, Junior. I didn't see no agreement.


(Sorry I forgot the link.)

Me neither! Why tard up the thread title? It was perfect as originally written.



Old Overholt

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Nope, nope, nope.

Renaming thread to what was agreed on.

You know, that avatar makes every post seem more exciting.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Nope, nope, nope.

Renaming thread to what was agreed on.

Yay! This one is way better than the original. Elegant simplicity.

[Someone]

What was it called in between the original and the new/original title?

[Someone]

Something something something - Snark-22.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Something something something - Snark-22.

IMS, it was something no one had even proposed in the title thread. BJ just pulled a Fenris. The tiny amount of thread-naming power is overwhelmingly intoxicating, apparently.

[Someone]

Resume snarking please!

So hold up, wait. Chessic doesn't have his BA yet, but he has some sooper classified, high-clearance, retina-eye-scan-requiring gig at the CIA or wherever? What kind of badassery could he possibly be getting into without a BA? These days you need a degree to sweep the floors at K-Mart. Plus, what's taking him so long? If he was really 22 in 2008, then he's 26 now, and assuming he started college at 17 or 18 like everyone else I know, he's 5ish years behind. I know not everyone finishes a 4 year degree in 4 years, but he's a super genius though, right? Or is the delay due to a leave in order to do top secret army stuff?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Resume snarking please!

So hold up, wait. Chessic doesn't have his BA yet, but he has some sooper classified, high-clearance, retina-eye-scan-requiring gig at the CIA or wherever? What kind of badassery could he possibly be getting into without a BA? These days you need a degree to sweep the floors at K-Mart. Plus, what's taking him so long? If he was really 22 in 2008, then he's 26 now, and assuming he started college at 17 or 18 like everyone else I know, he's 5ish years behind. I know not everyone finishes a 4 year degree in 4 years, but he's a super genius though, right? Or is the delay due to a leave in order to do top secret army stuff?

No, we were quoting some old threads. In 2008, he was a semester away from his Poli-Sci BA. Presumably, he's gotten it by now. As far as I can tell, he (somehow) became an enlisted soldier at a very young age, possibly Nat Guard or reserves or something and served in Iraq for 18 months, possibly as an "intel soldier" but I don't know what that even means since he was only a corporal or specialist. In the job-searching thread he mentioned having security clearance, probably since he just got back from Iraq. The CIA stuff was just a joke I made since he was working at a daycare and also had a security clearance.

Someone at the Snackpit claims he's working a temp job in Northern VA, which would jibe with his recent thread about his coworkers tormenting him and pulling some mean-spirited pranks on him at the office. But he is such a douche, I don't blame them.

[Someone]

Hey, just realized it's been a year that the Dio-debacle happened at the Dope. I had lurked Giraffe before but it wasnt breathing...And then Dio did his shit at the Dope, got banned, went here, someone mentioned at the Dope that he was posting here why he had been banned and what were the mysterious PMs he was exchanging with the whole Dopocracy. Giraffe's ploy to make everyone anonymous except for the regular posters worked, I had to register cuz it was unreadable otherwise. And now I'm trapped here.

I wonder how many of us came here following Dio's yellow trail...

[Someone]

From prior thread:

Originally Posted by Someone

That was Bluesman.

And yeah, he did slink off after awhile.

Thanks for that, you're right. Bluesman was the insufferable prick and that post is a perfect example.

Don't know this Chessic dude.

[Someone]

@Tuco: Ah, got it. I was joking about the CIA part too, ftr, but I was curious how he was his age with no degree, yet still constantly bragging about his Sooper Important gov't gig.

@The Frenchman: What?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Someone at the Snackpit claims he's working a temp job in Northern VA, which would jibe with his recent thread about his coworkers tormenting him and pulling some mean-spirited pranks on him at the office. But he is such a douche, I don't blame them.

Ha, I was pretty close. I figured he was a low level peon who worked in one of the 3-letter buildings - like a janitor... or daycare worker. Not that there is anything wrong with those jobs, but he acts like he's Rand Rover.

Where's the thread about the pranks?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

... but he acts like he's Rand Rover.

Ha!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

.... he has some sooper classified, high-clearance, retina-eye-scan-requiring gig at the CIA or wherever? What kind of badassery could he possibly be getting into without a BA?

CIA daycare work, that's what. I mean no denigration of those who do daycare--it's damned hard work. In fact, I find it hard to believe he's qualified for it.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Resume snarking please!

So hold up, wait. Chessic doesn't have his BA yet, but he has some sooper classified, high-clearance, retina-eye-scan-requiring gig at the CIA or wherever? What kind of badassery could he possibly be getting into without a BA? These days you need a degree to sweep the floors at K-Mart. Plus, what's taking him so long? If he was really 22 in 2008, then he's 26 now, and assuming he started college at 17 or 18 like everyone else I know, he's 5ish years behind. I know not everyone finishes a 4 year degree in 4 years, but he's a super genius though, right? Or is the delay due to a leave in order to do top secret army stuff?

You know what's funny? Retina scan isn't even the most secure biometric process. Palm-vein is where it's at.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Where's the thread about the pranks?

Here: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=663561

Originally Posted by Someone

Thanks for that, you're right. Bluesman was the insufferable prick and that post is a perfect example.

Don't know this Chessic dude.

Actually, I noticed a thread where you two got into it back when he was IntelSoldier, but it was about using targeted air strikes in Iraq, not WMDs.

[Someone]

Ding.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Yay! This one is way better than the original. Elegant simplicity.

Damned minimalists.

Originally Posted by Someone

IMS, it was something no one had even proposed in the title thread. BJ just pulled a Fenris. The tiny amount of thread-naming power is overwhelmingly intoxicating, apparently.

From the Suggestion Thread:

Originally Posted by Someone

That's some snark, that Snark-22.

Okay, mebbe Fut didn't put in in the form of a suggestion, but it was close enough for me.


And I don't need no stinkin' thread-naming powers to get intoxicated. Couple bottles of Moosehead'll usually do the trick. . . .

[Someone]

Heh. You're right; I missed FoN's suggestion. But that was in no way the consensus! Anyway, now I have new sympathy for Fenris.

[Someone]

Okay, so now Chessic claims his wife wanted to say some awful, mean, turrible things to Bob Ducca. I wonder if she's reading the thread and doesn't care about the cheating pointed out by others? Maybe. Or if he's only reading choice snippets to her aloud? Possibly. Or if she doesn't exist at all? Most probable.

[Someone]

Saying mean things to Bob Ducca is like saying mean things to Honey Badger. Neither gives a shit.

[Someone]

Honey Badger don't care! He nasty!

[Someone]

Long, whiny, entitled, self-justifying rant from dropzone: don't like him being a telemarketer? Tough shit, you knew the risks when you signed his contract, and it's your fault for picking up the phone anyway.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Honey Badger don't care! He nasty!

Hope Jackal don't say balls nasty!

[Someone]

Hey y'all, Opal needs a job!

Originally Posted by Someone

Ideal job: some sort of web/graphic design position. Problem is most expect you to know javascript/jQuery, which I don't know (though I'm learning online, diligently, every day). Anyway, That's my ideal.

Next best thing: Administrative assistant type work. I am good in an office, organizing, administrating, assisting, etc. This is the type of work my last job was and I have good recommendation letters from that. My duties included things like payroll, inventory, etc.

If all else fails: pretty much anything, if it pays the bills.

So, uh, how's the lip balm thing working out for you? Or the web design you already do?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Hey y'all, Opal needs a job!

So, uh, how's the lip balm thing working out for you? Or the web design you already do?

If only we knew another Durper who has the gift for graphic design...
Now there's a sitcom in the making.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

If only we knew another Durper who has the gift for graphic design...
Now there's a sitcom in the making.

HA! That's such a funny idea.

SylverOpalTygerCat

[Someone]

Vegan Graphic Design is a hot field.

[Someone]

What happened to lissener? I ran across a post from him in an old thread, and there's no "Banned" under his name. Did he leave on his own?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

HA! That's such a funny idea.

SylverOpalTygerCat

Potential title: "The Professinals"

[Someone]

Graphic designers need to know javascript and jquery?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Vegan Graphic Design is a hot field.

Well ...

Originally Posted by Someone

Graphic designers need to know javascript and jquery?

Not really. If you're doing Web design, though, it helps if you want to do more than just tweak templates.

[Someone]

Presumably there was some all-purpose web designer/developer job she applied for that did have that demand, possibly to make their decade-old rollover buttons work again, but it feels like a very late-90s request to me. I suspect she's wasting her time if she's actually learning javascript at this point; she'd be better off learning a content management tool like Drupal or Wordpress. Or, you know, actually learning graphic design, but I expect that's a field with a lot of people and not many jobs.

Remember when "desktop publishing" was a cottage industry? I wonder what happened to all those people?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

@The Frenchman: What?

Well, it's been a year (more or less) exactly since Dio got banned from the Dope. I just realized this the other day. Not that that's such a remarkable event in itself. But I think quite a few of us wouldnt be here if we hadnt followed him. Was wondering how many of us...

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

What happened to lissener? I ran across a post from him in an old thread, and there's no "Banned" under his name. Did he leave on his own?

He flounced out after getting into a fight with Little Nemo about (what else?) taste in movies. It's pretty incredible he never got banned as he racked up 20+ warnings!

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=555851

I'll give him this: at least he stayed flounced unlike certain others. Someone on the Snackpit linked to his Twitter page. I think his username is the same: lissener.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Potential title: "The Professinals"

I was thinking more along the lines of "2 Really Broke Girls."

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I was thinking more along the lines of "2 Really Broke Girls."

As long as it doesn't turn into "2 Broke Girls, 1 Duck."

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I'll give him this: at least he stayed flounced unlike certain others.

Like Eve? I like Eve and was glad to see her come back. Nobody else knows old movies and old movie stars like she does. Now she seems to be gone again, not sure why.

I miss lissener. Didn't always agree with him and he was an ass, but he was an entertaining ass.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Like Eve? I like Eve and was glad to see her come back. Nobody else knows old movies and old movie stars like she does. Now she seems to be gone again, not sure why.

I miss lissener. Didn't always agree with him and he was an ass, but he was an entertaining ass.

I was referring to Oakminster, who seems to threaten to leave monthly.

Lissener was good in that he could discuss any movie ever made, but bad in that he couldn't do it without getting pissy with anyone else who dared disagree with him. But there is a movie-expert-shaped hole in CS. Equi has weird, obsessive taste and no longer posts after getting pitted by etv.

[Someone]

I'm still that Opal considers herself GOOD at organizing anything, really.

Was lissener the one who could not stand the movie Casablanca, to the point where if you modestly said you liked the film, he would post many paragraphs about how you shouldn't like it and were wrong to? If so, I gave up on him right there and then. There are a ton of movies I don't like and won't watch again, but I don't think the less of people who do so.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

He flounced out after getting into a fight with Little Nemo about (what else?) taste in movies. It's pretty incredible he never got banned as he racked up 20+ warnings!

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=555851

I'll give him this: at least he stayed flounced unlike certain others. Someone on the Snackpit linked to his Twitter page. I think his username is the same: lissener.

He WAS banned once, if I recall, but was allowed back in after an appology.

[Someone]

This thread is priceless. Some kid in the Philippines wants information about hoop snakes and knows someone who can catch one. Definitely worth a read.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Was lissener the one who could not stand the movie Casablanca, to the point where if you modestly said you liked the film, he would post many paragraphs about how you shouldn't like it and were wrong to?

Really? What were the reasons no one should like it?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Like Eve? I like Eve and was glad to see her come back. Nobody else knows old movies and old movie stars like she does. Now she seems to be gone again, not sure why.

She may be working on a book. Unlike many Durpers, Eve has a life and will stay away when she needs to get shit done.

[Someone]

I'll try to remember--it was a long list. Something about cardboard characters, a weak plot, plot holes, insipid noble romance, bad acting, bad directing, bad production, bad scoring, bad script. I don't recall lissener (IF it was lissener) having one good word to say about any part of the film.

It may not have been lissener. Now I'm thinking that might have been Stranger on a Train? I have no time and little inclination to go find out.


Casablanca is one of my all time favorite movies, and I mostly disagree with the above--except the plot holes, but I forgive it that. Most movies and books have them to some extent.

[Someone]

Lissener was always enamoured of Verhoeven as a director and Starship Troupers was a terrible movie, even on its own terms and Robocop is good, but overrated. So if he loves Starship Troupers and hates Casablanca (which is a a masterpiece), I can't take him seriously.