Ban any 3 Durpers, 1 Durp Mod

[Someone]

The rules of this game are simple:

You become a mod for a day. You can ban any three Durpers and any one mod/admin. Let's make Zotti off-limits because it'd be too easy but he can't reverse or interfere with your decision. You can ban whoever you want and you don't have to have a Dope-Rule based reason to ban them.

The only rules are:
1) You can't ban 'em if you don't say your reason. Your ban doesn't count. The reason can be as simple as "I hate that she doesn't capitalize stuff", as long as there's a reason.

2) You get a bonus durper ban if you link to at least one instance of them exhibiting whatever you're banning for.


My Picks:

• Tardcazm---because he's an extreme douchebag and the socratic questions are boring. Link
• Elucidator---he just posts random noise. I...think...he thinks it's funny, but it's just spam.
• Brainglutton---ditto. And he should have been banned after making that "Black folk have big floppy lips" crack given that he's only been back from suspension for a few weeks.
• BONUS--for the Tardcazm link--JohnMace. He's not really all that terrible, he's just in every! fucking thread I read, usually making a useless one-liner comment. ("Speaking of search engines, Google is a search engine")
• Mod-The standout is Tomndebb. Colibri pisses me off, but Tomndebb is the only one left who plays the stupid "Am I a mod in THIS VERY POST? You guess. But be careful...." game.

So...the power is in YOUR hands. Who do you ban and why.

[Someone]

30 people have viewed this thread and nobody's replied.

I hate all you.

[Someone]

Only one mod and three dopers? This will take considerable thought.

[Someone]

Can I get a hallelujah?

[Someone]

Fenris, can you fix the link in your first post?

[Someone]

The link is good. The link has ALWAYS been good.

[Someone]

Yes, it's a good link, isn't it? It's a very good link.

(Please don't send me to the cornfield.)

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

My Picks:

• Tardcazm---because he's an extreme douchebag and the socratic questions are boring. Link
• Elucidator---he just posts random noise. I...think...he thinks it's funny, but it's just spam.
• Brainglutton---ditto. And he should have been banned after making that "Black folk have big floppy lips" crack given that he's only been back from suspension for a few weeks.
• BONUS--for the Tardcazm link--JohnMace. He's not really all that terrible, he's just in every! fucking thread I read, usually making a useless one-liner comment. ("Speaking of search engines, Google is a search engine")
• Mod-The standout is Tomndebb. Colibri pisses me off, but Tomndebb is the only one left who plays the stupid "Am I a mod in THIS VERY POST? You guess. But be careful...." game.

So...the power is in YOUR hands. Who do you ban and why.

Good picks, but I would say:

Mod: Jonathan Chance. He is without question the most worthless mod since twatster. Between his "I'ma clean up GD by warning all the meanies" and his throat-clearing bullshit (he actually thinks mods are held in such esteem that he's figuratively standing in front of a classroom and has all posters in attendance held in rapt attention while awaiting his words of wisdom), he has no idea what really goes on there. He's completely disconnected from reality.

[Someone]

For my Durper bans:

John Mace: The biggest pussy ever to walk the halls of the Durp. He's obviously conservative, but has never had the balls to say so. He's a wolf in sheep's clothing, pretending to be moderate so he can hang with the cool hippie chicks, who will never fuck him.

Smapti: Mostly takes the liberal side of arguments, unless you happen to be talking about cops. Has no problem calling out a celebrity or politician for bigotry but absolutely refuses to believe cops are capable of such. I suspect he's gay and has a thing for cop cock.

doorhinge: (post shortened) If ever there was a better example of the mouth-breathing conservative, I've never seen it. This person is stupid beyond description.

[Someone]

Astro and Urbanredneck - I am so over "just asking questions" old white guys. So over them. Everything they post seems to offend me or offend my sensibilities in some way. Probably often for no reason now.

Czarcasm. Cuz same as anyone else would.

I am fine with all the mods. I don't know one from the other.

[Someone]

Charley Wayne, because every single post of his annoys the hell out of me with its faux-sincere yet clueless helpful annoyance.

Johnny LA, because I don't need to know what he's just had for dinner for the umpteenth time

Mr Dribble, because his "that's waaaaaccissssmm!!!" schtick stinks up too many threads

Jonathan Chance because he's an idiot, constantly making extremely bad calls.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

The link is good. The link has ALWAYS been good.

Your Jedi mind trick won't work on me, because I've got the powah!

Anyway, I'd boot:

Skald the Rhymer for his lame hypotheticals and cries of "you're not hypotheticalling right! Hypothetical my way, dammit, by Athena!"

Tardgasm for constant JAQing off and just being himself.

Quin Shi Huandi because every time he resurfaces he's got a new personality and they're all really annoying.

Tomndebb for his "am I a mod, or am I a poster? Sorry, wrong guess!" routine.

[Someone]

Definitely tomndebb but I wouldn't ban anyone I don't think. Either they are entertaining or easily ignored.

Back in the day I wished banishment on lekatt but he's either been banned or quit posting anyway. I would have wished death on him but he'd come back and tell us about it just to be annoying.

[Someone]

I would support a limited ban on Skald's stupid hypothetical posts though. And a "regards" ban on Shodan, which is justifiable because he admits he does it to troll at this point. Hell, I would ban any kind of "sign off thing I do every time" just because it's stupid.

[Someone]

Smapti has to go. I can't read law enforcement threads anymore because of him.

Charlie Wayne has stopped being laughable and is now just plain annoying.

Shodan, unless he ditches his smug "regards" schtick.

And goodbye to tomndebb for being one of those putzes who has to include his wife's name in his Facebook username.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Definitely tomndebb but I wouldn't ban anyone I don't think. Either they are entertaining or easily ignored.

Back in the day I wished banishment on lekatt but he's either been banned or quit posting anyway. I would have wished death on him but he'd come back and tell us about it just to be annoying.

I think he was banned because Tomndebb didn't like him. I mean, there were reasons to ban him, but the ones Tom gave were "I think he's icky".

ETA: Yup. http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=708000

Heh--and it's amazing how many of the new, improved mods were bitching about Tom's "ban him for a whim" reasoning. And of course Tardcazm is defending tomndebb.

[Someone]

Added in for positivism: which banned poster would you restore?

[Someone]

Ooh--good question.

[Someone]

I find the lekatt and Peter Morris type poster far more frustrating than the openly belligerent/toxic posters for some reason. Neither Lekatt or "Talking about Randi/Dowsing" Peter Morris were especially mean, just maddeningly incapable of either considering an alternate POV for even a slight second, and an inability to talk about anything else other than their batshit crazy obsessions.

[Someone]

I would need to see a list of banned posters. I don't think Liberal was banned so much as left in a flurry of umbrage; I do wonder what happened to that guy.

[Someone]

He posted here a bit way back in the beginning, and maybe moved on to Domebo for a while? I wonder where he ended up, too.

I'd unban PRR even though just about everything about him annoyed me. I think the mods banned him for a bullshit reason just because they were tired of him.

[Someone]

Either he went off to write his "My Pretty Jesus" masterpiece or he died of full-body dandruff. One or the other.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

He posted here a bit way back in the beginning, and maybe moved on to Domebo for a while? I wonder where he ended up, too.

You've got the order wrong.

It was
Dope+Cuntgate->Domebo
Domebo+no special rules exemptions for Lib->Giraffe
Giraffe+2 mean tags->Dope
Dope+My Pretty Jesus (and other stuff)->Disappearance.

And if you want to be technical, there were earlier steps that involved "Request for posting sabbatical on the Dope->Fathom" and "Fathom+lying, saying he'd been banned->Dope".

He burned bridges the way normal people change their clothes.

[Someone]

Either Sauron or Satan, (I forget which) was banned for something ridiculous, I'd bring whichever the relevent dark lord is back.

[Someone]

Also, if you could ban three Giraffe posters one Giraffe mod, who would you ban? I would ban Fenris four times.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Added in for positivism: which banned poster would you restore?

Diogenes the Cynic.



(Ya know, Fen, if you'd stop messing with the Smilies, might still be around. . . .)

[Someone]

I'd restore Otto. It's not that I necessarily like him but he was banned for a totally zottied reason.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Either Sauron or Satan, (I forget which) was banned for something ridiculous, I'd bring whichever the relevent dark lord is back.

And checking it out, it appears that it was Satan and it was 2001, 5 years before I even started posting to the Dope. Someone must have linked to the Satan bannination thread at some point, and I must have got confused with him and another poster, because I certainly seem to remember a poster I liked getting banned.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Diogenes the Cynic.



(Ya know, Fen, if you'd stop messing with the Smilies, might still be around. . . .)

I never remove smilies. I just add 'em.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Diogenes the Cynic.



(Ya know, Fen, if you'd stop messing with the Smilies, might still be around. . . .)

Dio definitely.

[Someone]

Bans:

Czarcasm, for generally being a condescending dick.
Snowboarder Bo, for his quarry catchphrase.
Starving Artist, for overall toxicity and other reasons too numerous to list.

Mod:

I'm generally okay with all of them, but if pressed, I'd go with Jonathan Chance for the throat-clearing thing.

Banned poster to restore:

Melchior, the guy who claimed that same-sex marriage didn't exist because DICTIONARY. He'd be banned again within a week, but that would be one high-larious week.

[Someone]

The only poster I would ban is Czarcasm because he is a dick

Honorable mention goes to Scabpicker only because his name makes me want to puke..otherwise he is cool.

Add another vote for JC because of his condescending tone

[Someone]

Hmm, I'd go with:

billfish678 - He's not the stupidest of the stupid posters, but he posts in this style that indicates he thinks he's clever, but it's not funny and *never* adds anything to the conversation

BrainGlutton - too little original thought goes into anything he types

Airman Doors, USAF - fuck the Steelers

Mod:

Jonathan Chance - yeah, the throat-clearing

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Quin Shi Huandi because every time he resurfaces he's got a new personality and they're all really annoying.

I'd use my unban here. I'm dying to know what his next personality will be! My guess: faux-erudite professorial type. Imagine him in a booklined office with a pipe, dropping his bon mots on the little dopers.

[Someone]

I'd also bring back Otto, Esprix, Satan, Dio. "Yer pal, Satan" always cracked me up.

Maybe handy and aha but that might be because memory is failing -- were they banned?

[Someone]

I would bring back Dio except I think he has a more fulfilling life now.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I'd also bring back Otto, Esprix, Satan, Dio. "Yer pal, Satan" always cracked me up.

Maybe handy and aha but that might be because memory is failing -- were they banned?

Esprix was banned?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Also, if you could ban three Giraffe posters one Giraffe mod, who would you ban? I would ban Fenris four times.

Originally Posted by Someone

I'd use my unban here. I'm dying to know what his next personality will be! My guess: faux-erudite professorial type. Imagine him in a booklined office with a pipe, dropping his bon mots on the little dopers.

Well, I'd ban this joker for sure

(The other two posters would be Fenris and Fenris, and the mod would be Rebo so she doesn't feel left out )

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Esprix was banned?

I think so, but I might have him confused with Otto. I'm pretty sure I saw "Banned" under Esprix's name in an old post in a snark thread.

[Someone]

Esprix was banned(? It was before suspensions so it had to be banned) briefly for "violating" Lynn's "No Joke Threads In The Pit" rule by posting a funny, but not "joke" thread. Lynn said he could come back if he wrote her a grovelly e-mail. He didn't but the ban was quickly reversed anyway.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

(The other two posters would be Fenris and Fenris, and the mod would be Rebo so she doesn't feel left out )

YOU DON'T WAAAAAANT TO BAN FENRIS. YOU WANT TO BAN GIRAFFE

[Someone]

Fine. Then I'll ban Giraffe, Fenris, and Rebo.

[Someone]

As for lifting a ban, I'd pick Satisfying Andy Licious and Dorkus Malorkus Mafia (or however it's spelled), because those seemed like such fun posters and socking such a sad reason to make them go away.

I have no opinions on mods, in either place, but Fenris does smell funny.

On bannings? I'd just go with whoever is the most tedious One Trick Pony of bigotry at the moment. Of course, that could mean lots of folks.......

[Someone]

Uhhhhhmmmmm,

The derp-board doesn't allow joke-threads in the pit?

What is the point of a pit if you can't post any effing thing you want there?

[Someone]

That's what I wanted to know, shortly before I kicked that fucking clown show to the curb.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

And checking it out, it appears that it was Satan and it was 2001, 5 years before I even started posting to the Dope. Someone must have linked to the Satan bannination thread at some point, and I must have got confused with him and another poster, because I certainly seem to remember a poster I liked getting banned.

There was a popular movement to unban Satan.


The Satan banning is a good example of where an approach such as the Giraffe Boards' boxing might have made it possible to retain a popular poster while at the same time reigning him in when appropriate.


(Then again, on the SDMB Satan's name was Brian . . . . Perhaps it's just that people named Brian are allergic to me. )

[Someone]

I thought the banning was chickenshit, although I have to admit he got pretty bitter and combative toward the end. Didn't he and Drain Bead break up or something?

[Someone]

You know, glancing back over that thread reminds me of all the cries of the SDMB's former "glory days." Now I say...... what the hell? [And yes, I was just as bad as anyone.] Who in the world has time for that sort of huge involvement over something so inconsequential? Geez. I think we were all much more in love with the sound of our own voices then, so that we just droned on and on about nothing.

[Someone]

I'm liking the idea of banning Giraffe, Fenris, and Rebo (as my three Durpers) and Idle Thoughts (mod) so that they'll stop spending so much time on the durp and post more over here.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Uhhhhhmmmmm,

The derp-board doesn't allow joke-threads in the pit?

What is the point of a pit if you can't post any effing thing you want there?

Lynn's stupid rules (for any given moment in time--they were subject to change without notice and they could be changed retroactively)*
Esprix's "joke" thread. If nothing else, read Lynn's post at the end for the single most douchy mod-post ever, in the history of the internet
One of the many fallout threads from a banning spree Lynn was on at the time over "joke" threads

Frankly, her "rules" made Ed's cuntgate fiascso ("no insults in the pit". "Ok, insults in the pit, but only if they're funny", "Some insults that aren't funny are ok, as long as you don't say certain secret words") look sane by comparison.

*Important to note that she pulled that thread together from other random posts from other threads. At the time of Esprix's 'transgression', the rules were smeared across multiple threads, buried pages deep.