If I owned the SDMB, here's who I would unban.

Someone · #1 1st October 2016, 07:26 PM

Satan
Collunsbury ( @Lounsbury )
SqrlCub
Otto
Diogenes the Cynic ( @Dioken )
Cheshire Human ( @C2H5OH )
Drewtwo ( @tar503 )
and @Malacandra

And that's it.

Although I might be tempted to just unban everyone...everyone who has ever been banned for any reason (save for spammers), saying "Everyone gets one final chance...but if you fuck it up this time, you're gone for good."
The sock rule would remain in effect, however.
I doubt I'd really go through with it, though. Those eight names above, although, I'd unban for sure.

Who would you unban if you owned the SDMB?

Someone · #2 1st October 2016, 07:50 PM

I would introduce the Box to The Dope.

Someone · #3 1st October 2016, 08:15 PM

I'd probably unban that Idle Thoughts guy. He's always good for starting trouble.

Someone · #4 1st October 2016, 08:16 PM

I looked at this thread to mention Satan but you already listed him. I can't even remember why he got banned.

Someone · #5 1st October 2016, 08:23 PM

He turned bitter and started a persistent streak of threadshitting, followed up by arguing with the mods. I don't recall why but I think because of problems IRL. As usual his actual banning was over some chickenshit little thing. But he was cruising for it.

Someone · #6 1st October 2016, 08:34 PM

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Originally Posted by Someone

He turned bitter and started a persistent streak of threadshitting, followed up by arguing with the mods. I don't recall why but I think because of problems IRL. As usual his actual banning was over some chickenshit little thing. But he was cruising for it.

Who were you over there? I seem to recall you were someone who got banned too. I might add you to the list, if you were.

Someone · #7 1st October 2016, 09:14 PM

I lurked for a long time and then posted for awhile. But I bailed when the pit rules got all zotti'd up.

Someone · #8 1st October 2016, 09:23 PM

Was Esprix (sp?) banned or did he just give up?

mhendo -- not banned (I don't think) but suspended and I'm not sure he ever returned. He could be a flinty SOB but those are the best kind.

Satan and Heatherlee. Ahhh, the good old days. Or was it DrainBead? Or both? Am I imagining a love triangle? Or a flirt triangle?

Someone · #9 1st October 2016, 09:32 PM

Un-ban them all and let God sort it out.

It would be a better business model than the present one of banning so many of your customers. Actively banning customers?

Does not pencil out.

Someone · #10 1st October 2016, 10:21 PM

Esprix was never banned and, in fact, came back for a post or two only a few years ago.
Mhendo is not banned, trust me. He posted just yesterday or the day before, actually.

Someone · #11 1st October 2016, 10:36 PM

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Originally Posted by Someone

Satan and Heatherlee. Ahhh, the good old days. Or was it DrainBead?

Satan was dating DrainBead at the time. Who was a smart and funny poster too. I don't recall any love triangle action but I wasn't paying that much attention.

Someone · #12 1st October 2016, 11:32 PM

Apology accepted, Idle Thoughts.

Someone · #13 2nd October 2016, 02:36 AM

Otto. Even though I never could stand him in the first place his banning was bullshit.
Was Exy banned or did he just quit? Anyway, it'd be interesting having Exy around again.
Grossbottom (our own Andrew Jackson's Hair). That guy is hilarious.
And oh, let's say Melin for fun.

Someone · #14 2nd October 2016, 03:26 PM

Exy was indeed banned (and good riddance)

I'd unban Otto, PRR, and DioKen because their bannings were bullshit. PRR and Dio were annoying shit stirrers, but they were intelligent, articulate shit stirrers, unlike the weaksauce dumber-than-a-bag-of-hair loudmouths they get these days.

Also, I'd support general amnesty for serial sockers because then I could go over there and be annoying as well as annoying everyone here

Someone · #15 2nd October 2016, 06:17 PM

even seven

Someone · #16 2nd October 2016, 06:48 PM

Probably a lot of former trolls, then just sit back and watch the crazy.

Someone · #17 2nd October 2016, 07:07 PM

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Originally Posted by Someone

even seven

You mean even sven? She's not banned.

Someone · #18 2nd October 2016, 07:56 PM

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Originally Posted by Someone

Was Esprix (sp?) banned or did he just give up?

mhendo -- not banned (I don't think) but suspended and I'm not sure he ever returned. He could be a flinty SOB but those are the best kind.

Satan and Heatherlee. Ahhh, the good old days. Or was it DrainBead? Or both? Am I imagining a love triangle? Or a flirt triangle?

Esprix was temp banned as part of Lynn's stupid no joke threads in the pit rule. He was intended to be an object lesson – she point-blank said he could come back if he begged or words to that effect, but it backfired on her

Satan turned into a nasty piece of work, apparently stalking Una, kind of proto-doxxing her, spamming her, etc.

I would not let him or Dio back

Also, I would retro ban Czarcasm for all the shit previous mods let him get away with. Plus it would improve conversation dramatically

Someone · #19 2nd October 2016, 08:19 PM

Techchick. Because I'm an ornery cunt at heart.

Someone · #20 2nd October 2016, 08:54 PM

Yes, she certainly knew how to bring the crazy.

Someone · #21 3rd October 2016, 05:07 AM

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Originally Posted by Someone

Also, I would retro ban Czarcasm for all the shit previous mods let him get away with. Plus it would improve conversation dramatically

True, true. I don't think anyone would argue too much with that.

Someone · #22 3rd October 2016, 05:18 AM

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Originally Posted by Someone

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even seven

You mean even sven? She's not banned.

even seven was ScarletNumero's original username on the Durp but was asked to change it because everyone kept getting it confused with even sven.

Someone · #23 3rd October 2016, 06:49 AM

The Grapist.

Someone · #24 3rd October 2016, 06:57 AM

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Originally Posted by Someone

Techchick. Because I'm an ornery cunt at heart.

yesyesyesyesyesyes... Opening up the pit to find a drunken Techchick screed was like Christmas coming early.

Someone · #25 3rd October 2016, 07:22 AM

Well, I'd unban me because I still don't get what I did and was basically as innocuous and cooperative a poster as they come, and my banning has turned me into a crabby and cynical bitch. Also because I think banning from even reading the messages is weird and dumb.

Someone · #26 3rd October 2016, 10:37 AM

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Originally Posted by Someone

... my banning has turned me into a crabby and cynical bitch.

So all's well that ends well, I take it?

Someone · #27 3rd October 2016, 10:43 AM

I would unban everyone except the DioShow.

Like Fenris I would ban Tardgasm. I would also ban Wendall Wagner for his whole smug shit of, "We are the Dope! We are The Smartest on the Intertubes! Yet some how I can't figure out how to click the quote button." bullshit.

Someone · #28 3rd October 2016, 07:09 PM

Vanilla. Crazy chicks are hot.

Someone · #29 3rd October 2016, 08:28 PM

I'd let the banned back in, but only in a Box type section.

Someone · #30 3rd October 2016, 09:16 PM

The SDMB mod vets are too lazy to GI for that excellent idea.

Someone · #31 3rd October 2016, 09:34 PM

Speaking of crazy broads, did jarbaby ever get banned or did she flounce?

Someone · #32 3rd October 2016, 10:09 PM

I think they just let her change her name.

Someone · #33 3rd October 2016, 10:43 PM

She changed her name (to Tinyham) and then got caught as a sock after that (fatgail, I think). So...she's banned.

Someone · #34 4th October 2016, 01:37 AM

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Originally Posted by Someone

She changed her name (to Tinyham) and then got caught as a sock after that (fatgail, I think). So...she's banned.

Pretty damn sure she was colander as well.

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Originally Posted by Someone

I'd let the banned back in, but only in a Box type section.

Can I just say I don't give a good goddamn what you'd do? kthxbye

Someone · #35 4th October 2016, 03:55 AM

You tell her, Mal. The nerve of Guin saying who she'd unban and how she'd do it in the If I owned the SDMB, here's who I would unban thread!

Someone · #36 4th October 2016, 04:45 AM

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Originally Posted by Someone

You tell her, Mal. The nerve of Guin saying who she'd unban and how she'd do it in the If I owned the SDMB, here's who I would unban thread!

I didn't say this was the wrong thread for people to do that. I said that I didn't give a good goddamn about what Guin would do. I wasn't junior-modding, just being a dick.

(The fact that someone else mentioned a Box many, many posts earlier is beside the point.)

Someone · #37 4th October 2016, 05:38 AM

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Originally Posted by Someone

She changed her name (to Tinyham) and then got caught as a sock after that (fatgail, I think). So...she's banned.

I saw her tiny ham account in a thread the other day and didn't say banned.

Someone · #38 4th October 2016, 07:51 AM

That's a great catch, thanks for pointing it out. It must have just been oversight at the time. It's banned now.

Someone · #39 4th October 2016, 07:56 AM

Thank God, we're saved.

Someone · #40 4th October 2016, 08:04 AM

I thought this was an unbanning thread.

Someone · #41 4th October 2016, 09:31 AM

I would unban Dio and ban Czarcasm in his place. In the category of "annoying atheists who aren't nearly as smart as they think they are" Dio is much more entertaining, and a decent person underneath it all to boot.

Someone · #42 4th October 2016, 09:32 AM

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Originally Posted by Someone

That's a great catch, thanks for pointing it out. It must have just been oversight at the time. It's banned now.

Holy crap, dude! I wasn't trying to get her banned.

I thought maybe you'd ask the other mods why that wasn't touched and then leave it alone. I'm an idiot and that was seriously uncool.

Someone · #43 4th October 2016, 09:37 AM

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Originally Posted by Someone

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Originally Posted by Someone

That's a great catch, thanks for pointing it out. It must have just been oversight at the time. It's banned now.

Holy crap, dude! I wasn't trying to get her banned.

I thought maybe you'd ask the other mods why that wasn't touched and then leave it alone. I'm an idiot and that was seriously uncool.

"From Hell's heart, I stab at thee! For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee!" --Tinyham (probably)

Someone · #44 4th October 2016, 09:47 AM

Yep. I deserve that. And if she showed up here to call me names and cast stones at me and run over my dog, I'd be okay with that too.

Someone · #45 4th October 2016, 09:53 AM

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Originally Posted by Someone

Yep. I deserve that. And if she showed up here to call me names and cast stones at me and run over my dog, I'd be okay with that too.

I was just kidding, Joyfool. You didn't do anything wrong.

Someone · #46 4th October 2016, 09:55 AM

Best I think I can do.

Someone · #47 4th October 2016, 12:00 PM

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Originally Posted by Someone

That's a great catch, thanks for pointing it out. It must have just been oversight at the time. It's banned now.

It was not an oversight. It was a special dispensation from Ed and Tuba.

Someone · #48 4th October 2016, 12:35 PM

timbicile, who was banned for being arsehole.

Inconceivable.

Someone · #49 4th October 2016, 01:15 PM

Are we unbanning people because they deserve a second chance, or for entertainment value?

If it's the former, I wouldn't unban anybody. Once you start rescinding bans because the posters were "valuable" (however you define it), you're screwed. You've just created an elite class of posters who are allowed to be assholes. If they didn't change their behavior after a series of notes, warning, and suspensions, they sure as hell aren't going to change after their triumphant post-ban return. Dio would be filling threads with "No it isn't. You're wrong" posts within a week. ATMB would be nothing but endless threads demanding that various bans be lifted, because if you unbanned X then you also have to unban Y to be consistent, and while you're at it you should also unban Z who contributed so much to the board, etc.

If you're unbanning people for fun, I'd bring back Melchior. Insufferable bastard, but damn, he was hilarious.

Someone · #50 4th October 2016, 04:13 PM

VC03, Incubus, and Tarantula.