Let's make fun of The Pioneer Woman!

[Someone]

Look at this - a blog dedicated to snarking on the Pioneer Woman, Ree Drummond. It's called The Marlboro Woman.

It is funny as hell, and I even like Ree Drummond.

Season three of the Pioneer Woman, featuring our favorite little ol’ plagiarist, rolled out a new episode with a retro menu straight from a time capsule. Two of the recipes Drummond prepared, chicken spaghetti and orange muffins, were lifted directly from Bartlesville Service League cookbooks.

Be warned, the author's picture at the top of the website is scary as hell.

[Someone]

I fully support snarking on her. Her recipes and photography have gotten lazy as fuck, and the faux-folksie stuff is getting annoying.

[Someone]

I can't even watch her show without my cholesterol shooting up to about 9000

[Someone]

The Pioneer Woman is a cooking show? With some sort of old-time, homespun theme?

The Land O' Lakes product placement does look pretty jarring. Obviously a pioneer woman would be making her own butter.

[Someone]

Her husband owns a ranch in Texas, so the show is her cooking boatloads of starchy, fatty, meaty, fatty, cheesy, fatty food for her family and the workers because ranch hands burn a hell of a lot of calories while they're working.

[Someone]

But much of it is also gross. She had a peach(?) bbq chicken (or pork chop) recipe that was literally inedible. It tasted like the meat was inside a slightly used lollipop. It's not that it's starchy/fatty (although she's kinda over the top on that*), it just tasted sickly-sweet...nauseatingly so. This isn't the sort of thing I could see ranch-hands eating, this is the sort of thing that a desperate mom tries to use to get a spoiled kid with a sweet tooth to eat chicken (or was it pork?)


*I objected to this with Emril during his 15 minutes of inexplicable fame--he'd say "Ga-lick? Dis recipe cahlz fa t'ree cloves. Let's kick it uppa nawtch and use t'ree BULBZ a ga-lick! BAHM!" or "Dis bourbon cake recipe needs one kaw-tah cuppa bourbon. Letz kick it uppa nawtch" as he upends the bottle into the batter, ruining the cake.

Recipes aren't set in stone, but the point of a good recipe is to balance the flavors. Sure, add some extra garlic cloves or little more sugar. But don't asssume there's no upper limit. The Emeril/Pioneer Woman "If some is good, tons must be better" thing just makes for bad food.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

*I objected to this with Emril during his 15 minutes of inexplicable fame--he'd say "Ga-lick? Dis recipe cahlz fa t'ree cloves. Let's kick it uppa nawtch and use t'ree BULBZ a ga-lick! BAHM!" or "Dis bourbon cake recipe needs one kaw-tah cuppa bourbon. Letz kick it uppa nawtch" as he upends the bottle into the batter, ruining the cake.

:hijack:

Gah, Emeril. I remember one time he had some recipe contest winners on the show and he was making their recipes, one of which was a grasshopper cheesecake. So of course he dumped most of the bottle of creme de menthe in because a couple tablespoons wasn't lethal enough, bitched because it wasn't green enough, dumped in most of a bottle of green food coloring so that it came out about the color of nephrite jade, then bitched the poor woman whose recipe it was out when it tasted foul

And then there was the bologna episode...

/:hijack:

[Someone]

I find her to be one of the most annoying "celebrities" out there, and definitely one of the worst on FN. I have actually seen that blog before, because I was flipping through channels one Sunday morning and thought I had DVRd a SNL episode. (Why did Kristen Wiig never parody her?!) What a stupid niche market. She isn't even talented.

[Someone]

Someone wearing a designer toga and cooking in a 900 square foot stainless steel and granite kitchen should not be calling herself pioneer anything.

My grandma had a recipe for baked chicken and the first line was, "Catch yourself a good size chicken". That was a pioneer woman.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Someone wearing a designer toga and cooking in a 900 square foot stainless steel and granite kitchen should not be calling herself pioneer anything.

My grandma had a recipe for baked chicken and the first line was, "Catch yourself a good size chicken". That was a pioneer woman.

My Nana had the same recipe. And that was inside the Beltway (before there was a Beltway.)

[Someone]

Eugggh....

I have a huge sweet tooth, but this? This turned my stomach

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8332/8...a093a925_z.jpg

Sugary pumpkin pancakes. Not bad, right?
...with a BIG spoonful of real butter. Fair enough.
....with warm maple syrup. Sounds good.
.....wait--she's not drizzling it on, she's dumping on about 3/4s of a cup of syrup-the pancakes could float in the amount she's dumped on!
......next, chopped nuts. Yuck. Pancakes shouldn't have a crunchy component, but ok.
.......and then, chillun, we enter hell. A crapload of maple-syrup whipped cream
........and to top that off? Caramel sauce. Like, for a sundae.

Even my my standards, and I used to eat brown-sugar sandwiches* as a kid, this is repulsive. Even as a dessert this is repulsive. Carmel+maple+sugar+pumpkin cookies is TOO MUCH.

*wonder bread/butter/brown sugar/butter/wonder bread--I am not proud of this

[Someone]

The thing that drives me nuts is the "chatty" nature of the blog. Fine, so it's a blog, she's an entertainer, yada yada. But dammit, woman, just present the damned recipe. Don't make me wade through a bunch of your personal issues to find out how to make whatever-it-is. I don't give a shit about your personal issues, I'm not your therapist. I just want to get the damned recipe.

[Someone]

Pancakes should too have a crunchy component! But yeah whipped cream and then fucking caramel sauce is so far over the top it's crazy.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Even my my standards, and I used to eat brown-sugar sandwiches* as a kid, this is repulsive. Even as a dessert this is repulsive. Carmel+maple+sugar+pumpkin cookies is TOO MUCH.

*wonder bread/butter/brown sugar/butter/wonder bread--I am not proud of this

Brother!

Well I used cinnamon-sugar mix instead of brown sugar. I wasn't that bright... the cinnamon-sugar that wasn't stuck to the butter, not being clumpy like brown sugar, would almost always lead to an interesting incident of aspirated sugar.

Crunchiness to the pancakes. No, no, no, no, no! Drowning in maple syrup? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
In fact, give me some maple syrup with a pancake or two on the side.

[Someone]

Plain sugar on my sugar sandwiches. :o I didn't learn about fancy tricks like cinnamon-sugar and brown sugar till later.

Crunchy pancakes? I can't think of anything I'd want along those lines, but I wouldn't rule it out.

Whipped cream and caramel sauce? Ugh. That's disgusting.

I stand with you, my brothers, in your pointing-and-laughing.

[Someone]

Ya know, I kind of liked the blog at first. And she had a lot of recipes from what I call the First Church Cookbook and the Second Church Cookbook, which have pretty much fallen apart (they were quite the thing of my mother's church back in the early '70s and some of their recipes were great. Others were quite terrifying.) So I could go to her site and look them up without having to go through the poorly organized (in the first place) and falling apart and spotty (in the second place) church cookbooks.

But the thing is that some of my old friends from high school also run working cattle ranches, and no way is she keeping it real. Those photographs...

I do wonder about all the people accusing her of plagiarizing. It's...the only way to plagiarize a recipe is to write it down exactly the way it was in your source. You can't copyright the ingredients (either the amount or the order added), just the patter. I forget the seminal case, but it was something to do with a directory. Everybody's brownies are going to have roughly the same things in them, and if you add, say, butterscotch kisses, then you have improved the recipe, but already thousands of people have thought of adding butterscotch kisses. (You may be able to copyright the names of things, although you can't copyright "brownies.")

Also I feel a certain amount of sympathy for anyone whose closest "town," 17 miles away, is Pawhuska.

But the original pioneer woman--probably this lady's husband's grandmother or great-grandmother I'm guessing--would have been 17 miles from Pawhuska which was a day's journey, and she would probably never have gotten there. And even if she did, it was ... Pawhuska. I can't imagine it was any any better town in the first part of the 20th century.

[Someone]

Hey, Pawhuska was a boomtown one hundred years ago, I'll have you know! They had over 6,000 residents!!

[Someone]

No wonder people moved out into the wilderness: they wanted to get away from the maddening pace of city-life.

[Someone]

I think the FN has gone downhill, and I think it's because of shows like hers.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I think the FN has gone downhill, and I think it's because of shows like hers.

Actually, she's on The Cooking Channel. Food Network has gone downhill since 90% of their programming are those stupid competition shows and 3-4 hours of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives every night.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Actually, she's on The Cooking Channel. Food Network has gone downhill since 90% of their programming are those stupid competition shows and 3-4 hours of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives every night.

I thought she was on the Saturday morning FN lineup. Huh.

I like Chopped--I appreciate the creativity on the fly, and with complicated ingredients. I think it is one of the best shows on FN. The cupcake and other sweets competitions are ridiculous. The spy shows are embarrassing.

CC is pretty cool; Nadia is one of my favorite tv personalities.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I thought she was on the Saturday morning FN lineup. Huh.

I like Chopped--I appreciate the creativity on the fly, and with complicated ingredients. I think it is one of the best shows on FN. The cupcake and other sweets competitions are ridiculous. The spy shows are embarrassing.

CC is pretty cool; Nadia is one of my favorite tv personalities.

You're right, she is. Lost track of which I was watching.

[Someone]

I actually think CC is becoming to FN what VH1 once was to MTV...

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

so the show is her cooking boatloads of starchy, fatty, meaty, fatty, cheesy, fatty food

While I don't do starchy...the other adjectives fit how I eat: fatty, meaty, fatty, cheesy, fatty!

Thankfully I malabsorb 80% of the fat I eat and 50% of the protein...so I eat LOTS of those foods...(and I am allergic to exercise)

Oh, and I lose weight doing that...only gain if I overdo the carb monster.

Guess I need to find her show.

Liz

[Someone]

No one is allergic to exercise. You just haven't found the right exercise for you yet.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

No one is allergic to exercise. You just haven't found the right exercise for you yet.

I've tried running (you better be running too if you see ME running), walking, swimming, bikes, gyms, etc...I don't like any of them. Bikes are okay but have no butt so it hurts the rear end. Even padded seats don't help, plus it hurts my knees. Yard work, house work...that's not considered "EXERCISE" by my registered dietitian/exercise person at my surgeon's office.

I'll stick to my excuse...allergic to it!

Liz

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I've tried running (you better be running too if you see ME running), walking, swimming, bikes, gyms, etc...I don't like any of them. Bikes are okay but have no butt so it hurts the rear end. Even padded seats don't help, plus it hurts my knees. Yard work, house work...that's not considered "EXERCISE" by my registered dietitian/exercise person at my surgeon's office.

I'll stick to my excuse...allergic to it!

Liz

Everybody's butt hurts when first starting out or resuming after a layoff.

You also need to be properly fitted for the saddle. The typical bicycle seat is sized for the average man.

Here's a guide to fitting.
You can also buy a cycle that's specifically designed for women(not frilly and pink) such as Terry.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Everybody's butt hurts when first starting out or resuming after a layoff.

You also need to be properly fitted for the saddle. The typical bicycle seat is sized for the average man.

Here's a guide to fitting.
You can also buy a cycle that's specifically designed for women(not frilly and pink) such as Terry.

I did buy a woman's bike from a bike shop...(NOT WalMart or it's equivalent) and was properly fitted. I have NO padding on my rear. But that still doesn't help the knees...

And it was still hurting months after I started riding...then we moved and now there is no place safe to ride anyway. I still hold on to the bike as we will be moving again next fall...and maybe that area will be more bike accessible. Still doesn't mean I like it.

I said I'm allergic, not that I don't do it...walking is my much preferred method of torture.

Liz

[Someone]

Forgot about the knees. Lower gear, faster rpm.

[Someone]

I love Terry. I have a road bike and mountain bike, and I frequently check out the Terry hybrids...but I still haven't justified getting a new bike because I haven't used enough the bikes I have. Then again, I wonder if I got a new bike I would use it more...

Southernlady: it's very hard for me to understand how people don't like exercise, as I feel like as mammals (who were once children) we are programmed to move and play--and I also know that exercise does more than tone muscles and extend our lives. But, I know that I may have some bias--because if I was given the chance, I would be exercising and playing and trying out new sports and new gear all day every day.

What about dance? Yoga? Pilates? Zumba? Water aerobics? There's so much out there!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Southernlady: it's very hard for me to understand how people don't like exercise, as I feel like as mammals (who were once children) we are programmed to move and play--and I also know that exercise does more than tone muscles and extend our lives. But, I know that I may have some bias--because if I was given the chance, I would be exercising and playing and trying out new sports and new gear all day every day.

What about dance? Yoga? Pilates? Zumba? Water aerobics? There's so much out there!

Two problems with all of those...the ones that require a gym type membership requires money to join said gym.

The ones I could do at home just aren't fun by myself and using the TV requires wrestling the remote from my dh (and he is retired like I am).

I realize I am a zebra to most but there ARE those of us who simply do NOT care for exercise in any shape or form.

Part of my issue is limitations on what I can do easily. Arthritis/fibro/and back issues can also be a bitch and make it hard to find something easy to do. Water exercises is best for me but again, requires money/gym membership and it simply is NOT in the current budget.

HOPEFULLY that will change in 2013 and a gym membership will be in the budget...but I was ordered by the ER doc last night to REST this week.

[Someone]

I know. Like I said, I am biased. I own that.

FWIW, all my yoga and floor Pilates programs that I am doing currently are online.

I wish you great health in the new year!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I've tried running (you better be running too if you see ME running), walking, swimming, bikes, gyms, etc...I don't like any of them. Bikes are okay but have no butt so it hurts the rear end. Even padded seats don't help, plus it hurts my knees. Yard work, house work...that's not considered "EXERCISE" by my registered dietitian/exercise person at my surgeon's office.

I'll stick to my excuse...allergic to it!

Liz

What about zumba, you don't mention zumba or other dancercise? You might have fun with one of those? Edit: NM, missed the mention of zumba already. What about yoga? Too hard on the knees too?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

What about zumba, you don't mention zumba or other dancercise? You might have fun with one of those? Edit: NM, missed the mention of zumba already. What about yoga? Too hard on the knees too?

I considered it part of the "ETC". LOL

Liz

[Someone]

Bumping this because a few years later, Pioneer Woman has completely jumped the shark.

A few of her most recent recipes were:

7 can soup. The recipe? Take 7 cans of anything (beans/tomatoes/green chili/whatever), dump them into a pot and add a chunk of velveeta. Heat and stir.

PBJ Muffins. Cut english muffin in half. Add PB&J. Put strusel topping on it. Toast.

Mini apple "pies". Cut english muffins in half. Butter. Put on brown sugar. Top with apples. Toast.

Once upon a time, she was an internet meme-type thing. Now? This isn't even trying.

[Someone]

That's a shame. I have her cookbooks and she has some good recipes, but that's just either lazy or trolling.

I still watch her show because I find it funny how her husband has exactly one emotion: none.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Bumping this because a few years later, Pioneer Woman has completely jumped the shark.

She's launching a collection at Wal Mart?!

I think it goes beyond PW - I'm afraid personal interest blogging's 15 minutes are way past up. Mommy blogs, cooking blogs, DIY blogs, etc. They've been monetized, exploited, and run their course. I still use a feed aggregator to follow the ones I like, but the amount of interesting content or new, interesting blogs continues to dry up. Apparently there's only so much people are willing to over-share for/with, and advertisers are figuring out it doesn't bring the revenue they want.

[Someone]

I remember my dad was watching her show (he's like obsessed with the food channels) and she was making a grilled cheese sandwich. She put like, mayo and chilis on it, among other stuff. I felt like gagging.

[Someone]

I used to follow her blog. Then she went to FN. She is unwatchable. And unreadable.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I remember my dad was watching her show (he's like obsessed with the food channels) and she was making a grilled cheese sandwich. She put like, mayo and chilis on it, among other stuff. I felt like gagging.

Heh. I made grilled cheese with kimchi the other day. I drained some kimchi, then sliced it finely. It was good.

[Someone]

I put mayo on my grilled cheese. A friend puts mayo on the outside of the bread. I need to try that.

I use English Muffin bread -- great crispy texture.

Is Pioneer Woman the one with the dimples?

[Someone]

I made grilled cheese today with olive-oil mayo on the outside. Multigrain bread. Aged Wisconsin cheddar, red onion, dill pickle, and garlic inside. No butter anywhere. Very good.

[Someone]

Mayo on the outside does GOOD things to the crispy texture.

Pickles, however are evil.

[Someone]

Pickles, however are evil.

no, they are good for your MICROBIOME !!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Mayo on the outside does GOOD things to the crispy texture.

Pickles, however are evil.

[Someone]

Do you know who else was evil?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Bumping this because a few years later, Pioneer Woman has completely jumped the shark.

Jumped the shark, jumped back over it, danced around on it, fell off...
The woman is out of ideas. She seriously needs to go back to only poisoning her own family.

[Someone]

I was watching with my mom the other day and I had to LOL because she stopped after every part of the recipe to take a picture. Then she kept saying "I love food blogging!" Not "I love cooking" or "I love feeding my family and friends" but food blogging!

I dunno if this has been a regular thing on her show the whole time or not (taking pics, blogging at the end) - never noticed it before.

[Someone]

Wait. This is Zombie snark? I've been hoodwinked! Damn you Fenris

[Someone]

We don't have "zombies" here. We have "Conversation Classics"