Most useless iPhone app?

[Random Precision]

OKay, I broke down and joined with the Borg collective a few months ago and got an iPhone 4. Mostly, this was for the apps. I have some really useful and interesting stuff, mostly for free. Just today, I used a spirit level app while re-hanging a shelf in the garage. Over the past few days, I've looked up drug interactions for my wife with the MicroMedex app. I get to read the Onion daily, I have a Merriam-Webster dictionary in my breast pocket, I can set up recording on my DirecTV DVR from anywhere, I can even deposit checks directly to my checking account. It's a really great device.

Now when I'm browsing through the apps, there's a lot of stuff that just doesn't apply to me, but I can see someone having a need for it, like the app that let's you note your daily transgressions so you won't forget any of them when you go to confession. Not my cup of transmogrified wine, yanno.

However, there are those apps that seem to have absolutely no worth of any sort. I downloaded one of those today, and I am nominating it for the "Most Useless Smartphone App Ever" Award. I give you - the virtual Zippo lighter.



If anyone can come up with a need for this thing, I will pay them One Billion internet dollars.

Can anyone give me an example of any more useless app?

[Zombies!]

I dunno, but the virtual lighter is available on Android as well and made me just go "Lolwhut?"

[Taur]

If Mark Knopfler happened to get on an airplane and said aircraft was delayed on the tarmac thereby prompting Mr. Knopfler to get out and play his flamed Pensa-Suhr guitar, I would totally flick my Bic virtual Zippo.

That'll be one boolion dollars, please.

[Chacoguy]

Originally Posted by Random Precision

If anyone can come up with a need for this thing, I will pay them One Billion internet dollars.

People hold them up at concerts; it's way to applaud the band when one is a non-smoker.

I'm PMing my account information.

[Zombies!]

Before smartphones and all these apps, bands would get people to just activate their screens and wave them in the air.

[Random Precision]

Originally Posted by Chacoguy

People hold them up at concerts; it's way to applaud the band when one is a non-smoker.

I'm PMing my account information.

Okay smart guy. Nominate a less useful app.

[Chacoguy]

Originally Posted by Random Precision

Okay smart guy. Nominate a less useful app.

Facebook?

[drewbert]

If apps that have been removed from the App Store count: I Am Rich

[Random Precision]

Originally Posted by Chacoguy

Facebook?

Can't argue with that.

[KidVermicious]

My sister has a fart app. You push the softbutton, her phone farts.

What's the exchange rate on Internet Dollars?

[SoylentPopTart]

I'd nominate any of the 'flashlight' apps. They exist to fill the screen with a solid color so you can use your phone as a flashlight. I've always found that just the lock screen is plenty bright to get the key in the door.

[Euryphaessa]

My phone's camera flash functions as a flashlight too. *preens*

[Mbossa]

I nominate the Shotgun app. It basically makes shotgun sounds when you shake the phone. Even more useless than a fart app since nobody's ever gonna be fooled into thinking it's the real thing.

[The Futility of Nihilism]

Originally Posted by KidVermicious

My sister has a fart app. You push the softbutton, her phone farts.

I have (the shame) two fart apps.

One is iFart, which has a selection of about twenty or thirty different farts you can play. The other is Fart Piano which is pretty much self-explanatory.

[severe delays]

Originally Posted by Random Precision

If anyone can come up with a need for this thing, I will pay them One Billion internet dollars.

Can anyone give me an example of any more useless app?

You are in a dark and winding tunnel system, you are carrying a bag. There are exits North and South...

[Random Precision]

Originally Posted by Euryphaessa

My phone's camera flash functions as a flashlight too. *preens*

I have this app as well. But a friend of mine found a flashlight app that lets you type a message and it will flash it in Morse code.

[Dragonlady]

Originally Posted by SoylentPopTart

I'd nominate any of the 'flashlight' apps. They exist to fill the screen with a solid color so you can use your phone as a flashlight. I've always found that just the lock screen is plenty bright to get the key in the door.

My daughter laughed at her husbands flashlight app, until they needed to change a tire, on the highway, at night, in the snow. She says it made all the difference and has downloaded it to her phone, too.

[Euryphaessa]

Originally Posted by Random Precision

I have this app as well. But a friend of mine found a flashlight app that lets you type a message and it will flash it in Morse code.

Oh, that is cool. I wish Windows 6 phones had better apps, goddammit!

[Hockey Monkey]

Originally Posted by The Futility of Nihilism

I have (the shame) two fart apps.

One is iFart, which has a selection of about twenty or thirty different farts you can play. The other is Fart Piano which is pretty much self-explanatory.

I have both of these too!

[undercover]

I have Vuvu Button, a free vuvuzela app. It's not much different from a fart, actually, but there are only 2 options - single or stadium.

[IronHorse]

The fart app would make more sense if you could call it to activate, especially if you downloaded it to a friend's phone.

Yes, I have a juvenile sense of humor.