Derp Bingo!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Re the model train thread - I've been noticing that Urbanredneck starts a lot of incredibly stupid threads. Not all of them are stupid, but the ones that are stupid are really really stupid.

Is there an actual Doper Bingo card out there? Because if not, we MUST create one. This is not optional. It is a requirement.

Possible squares:

Poorly Concealed Racism

Thinly Veiled Misogyny

Too Superior to Watch TV

Your Hyoo-Mon Ways Are Mysterious to Me

Laughable Attempt at Internet Machismo

...

Originally Posted by Someone

Possible squares:

Poorly Concealed Racism

Thinly Veiled Misogyny

Too Superior to Watch TV

Your Hyoo-Mon Ways Are Mysterious to Me

Laughable Attempt at Internet Machismo

...

Total and absolute bullshit anecdote

Originally Posted by Someone

Possible squares:

Poorly Concealed Racism

Thinly Veiled Misogyny

Too Superior to Watch TV

Your Hyoo-Mon Ways Are Mysterious to Me

Laughable Attempt at Internet Machismo

...

Irrelevant Humblebrag

Originally Posted by Someone

Irrelevant Humblebrag

I invented that phrase

Originally Posted by Someone

Irrelevant Humblebrag

Is that like sneak-bragging?

Originally Posted by Someone

Is that like sneak-bragging?

Missing the Point Entirely

Scientific Rationalization of Racism

Police Shootings are Always Appropriate

Unsolicited Disclosure of Disturbing Personal Information

One of the Dumbest Things Ever Uttered

Flailing Attempt at Backtracking an Argument

Disengenuous Irrelevent Strawman

To hit the redundant trifecta.

Message Board Administration Incapable of Administering Message Board Software.

Simple Google Search Would've Easily Answered That

A ha ha!!! These are great. I'm going to start mocking up an actual bingo card.

What do you think of "Free Malware" for the free space in the center?


I'm trying to think of a way to reasonably work in some of the things that certain posters say over and over, like Nava is from Spain, Aruqvan has health problems, and GusNSpot is scary looking. Maybe "Yes Dear, I Heard You The First Time" with a footnoted list of the items that would qualify for that square.

Originally Posted by Someone

A ha ha!!! These are great. I'm going to start mocking up an actual bingo card.

What do you think of "Free Malware" for the free space in the center?


I'm trying to think of a way to reasonably work in some of the things that certain posters say over and over, like Nava is from Spain, Aruqvan has health problems, and GusNSpot is scary looking. Maybe "Yes Dear, I Heard You The First Time" with a footnoted list of the items that would qualify for that square.

Have I mentioned I am/have _______ ?

or

We Heard You the First Thousand Times

I would file that under Axes To Grind.

Originally Posted by Someone

Scientific Rationalization of Racism

Police Shootings are Always Appropriate

Police Shootings are NEVAR Appropriate

Recreational Outrage

Unmitigated Batshit Nonsense

Junior Modding

Hypersensitive and Easily Offended

Though, those may be all too common.

Should we have a square for Strange Food Fetishes?

To go along with Inexplicable Revulsion Toward Completely Inoffensive Food Items.

your vagina is mine I've never actually seen a vagina

Originally Posted by Someone

Police Shootings are NEVAR Appropriate

Knee-Jerk Reactionary Tu Quoques

Teh Less Than Clever Intentional Misspellings

Okay, here's a quick mock-up: http://i.imgur.com/Ag1E2Lf.png Needs many improvements, obviously.

I just grabbed suggestions from the thread without really thinking about whether they'd make good bingo squares. I also added sexism and ethnocentrism to the scientific rationalization of racism, and put in an entry for:

[Checks Join Date]

Originally Posted by Someone

Okay, here's a quick mock-up: http://i.imgur.com/Ag1E2Lf.png Needs many improvements, obviously.

I just grabbed suggestions from the thread without really thinking about whether they'd make good bingo squares. I also added sexism and ethnocentrism to the scientific rationalization of racism, and put in an entry for:

[Checks Join Date]

Love it! Needs some Ducati though. Maybe a "you're done" square that automatically wins the game?

Couple suggestions:

Hatin' on Kids
Public Restroom Shenannigans

Originally Posted by Someone

Love it! Needs some Ducati though. Maybe a "you're done" square that automatically wins the game?

Wonderful, Green Bean!

I can't wait to play.

Originally Posted by Someone

Love it! Needs some Ducati though. Maybe a "you're done" square that automatically wins the game?

Bullshit Anecdote covers a lot of his game, but calling it You're Done might be better. You could add Feminazi and while we're on the topic, Hitler/Nazi Comparison...ooh, and Overly Sensitive Animal Lover.

So how will this game be played?

I haven't seen a really good example of one of these in a while, but...

[My] Animals Are More Important Than Humans

Originally Posted by Someone

...So how will this game be played?

Once all the squares are filled in, everyone gets a unique card (the squares are in diff positions), and someone picks a sufficient thread to play from.

Originally Posted by Someone

Bullshit Anecdote covers a lot of his game, but calling it You're Done might be better. You could add Feminazi and while we're on the topic, Hitler/Nazi Comparison...ooh, and Overly Sensitive Animal Lover.

Limiting a square to Ducati I thought was too limiting, which is why I thought Laughable Attempts at Internet Machismo would cover it.

Originally Posted by Someone

I haven't seen a really good example of one of these in a while, but...

[My] Animals Are More Important Than Humans

Oooohhh... Good one. The Baby/Kid hate one too.

I think Unmitigated Batshit Nonsense should be on there for the true nutters. Or maybe just Unmitigated Batshittery.

Originally Posted by Someone

Once all the squares are filled in, everyone gets a unique card (the squares are in diff positions), and someone picks a sufficient thread to play from.

Or...or...hear me out. We start the game on Monday morning (or whenever), and you have to find examples from posts made that week. This way, it'll increase the amount of new-found snark.

Or whatever, just so someone else does the work.



Fawning Over Poster Claiming Dubious Life Circumstances

(for all those umkay'rs, et al, out there)

Originally Posted by Someone

Once all the squares are filled in, everyone gets a unique card (the squares are in diff positions), and someone picks a sufficient thread to play from.

Not sure that's optimal. And the things should come from the whole board, not one thread.

There are a couple of ways we could play.

Given that some of the things won't always be clear-cut, if we each play individually, we could get into a lot of arguing over whether something is actually a "bullshit anecdote" or whatever.

I think for the first go-round, we all should play from one card. Declare a starting time, and see how long it takes to get bingo. There will be wrinkles in the categories that will need to be ironed out, and it will be easier to do so if we're working toward consensus than if everybody is arguing for whatever would get them a square.

In general, I think we should tend toward categories that are at least somewhat Dope-specific. Not all have to be, but they should definitely be things we see over and over on the SDMB.

Another category suggestion: Dumb Zombie Joke

Originally Posted by Someone

Not sure that's optimal. And the things should come from the whole board, not one thread.

There are a couple of ways we could play.

Given that some of the things won't always be clear-cut, if we each play individually, we could get into a lot of arguing over whether something is actually a "bullshit anecdote" or whatever.

I think for the first go-round, we all should play from one card. Declare a starting time, and see how long it takes to get bingo. There will be wrinkles in the categories that will need to be ironed out, and it will be easier to do so if we're working toward consensus than if everybody is arguing for whatever would get them a square.

In general, I think we should tend toward categories that are at least somewhat Dope-specific. Not all have to be, but they should definitely be things we see over and over on the SDMB.

Another category suggestion: Dumb Zombie Joke

That's probably a better approach.

Unabashed 'Merica Hate

Originally Posted by Someone

That's probably a better approach.

That'll work.

How about Inappropriate "Reported".

The Police one might be a little narrow in scope.

Disgusting Infections

SDMB Bingo: No Matter Who Wins, We Lose

Originally Posted by Someone

Disgusting Infections

Was I Anally Raped?

[Someone]

The Moderator Clears His Throat

[Someone]

Shaking Hands: Rape?

[Someone]

The matter of various people's individual dead horses gave me the following idea. This would be more complicated, but might be fun.

There could be a second card with the individual derper things, like Spanish Nava and Impoverished Broomstick....or would that be Broomstick's Old Disabled Husband? Maybe call it DERPS? It might take a very long time to get bingo on the individual derper card, but since the main card will go faster.

Personally, I think any Ducati sighting would be a sufficient reason to get a square on the DERPS card. He is so awesome that he should get credit for just showing up. Of course, the Internet Machismo square on the main card would get marked as well. Unless he didn't display any in the post. That HAS happened, at least once or twice.

If you like the idea: Any ideas on what could go in the middle square of the DERPS card? "Free Advice" would be kind of boring. And what might some of the categories be?

[Someone]

Repugnant Acts Of Gluttony

Analogy Cage-Wrestling

I Was Impossibly Precocious Before You

[Someone]

Every month is rape month

Human interaction does not work that way

Least useful advice

These are always subject to interpretation, of course...

[Someone]

I'm the most concerned of all concern trolls

[Someone]

TubaDiva Intervenes

[Someone]

Pedantic Fuckwit
Closed!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Pedantic Fuckwit

That one's too easy. Everybody would get a square every time I post!

[Someone]

Junior Mod In Da House

Pedantic Rules Lawyerin'

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

There could be a second card with the individual derper things, like Spanish Nava and Impoverished Broomstick....or would that be Broomstick's Old Disabled Husband?

Exsqueeze me, that should be "spouse."

And you could do a Shagnasty one with his switcharapearoo post, circle jerks, mammy, snobbery...

One more for the general bingo card in honor of TruCelt, Dangerosa et al: My impossibly precocious offspring is more precocious than your impossibly precocious offspring!

[Someone]

Random acts of Monty Python

Tumblr/Metafilter/Jezebel is leaking

Guardian of the printed word

Stuck in 1990 and proud of it

Number two

In this moment, I am euphoric

[Someone]

Tattoo Hate

[Someone]

Egregious Threadshit

More Enlightened Than Thou (Sven's "much to learn from them" posts would fall under this category, but there are plenty of other offenders)

Society Can't Tell Me What To Wear, Man!

I'm From New Jersey (Why the hell do those of us who live in NJ feel the need to mention it whenever possible? See, I couldn't help myself there! I couldn't just point out the pattern. I HAD to say I was from NJ. )

ETA: I'm totally not snarking on LavenderBlue here, but this is just one example of the NJ thing.

Originally Posted by Someone

One more for the general bingo card in honor of TruCelt, Dangerosa et al: My impossibly precocious offspring is more precocious than your impossibly precocious offspring!

And on the individual card - Dangerosa Hates her Adopted Son.

[Someone]

This Celebrity Must Secretly Be A Doper

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I Was Impossibly Precocious Before You

In a similar vein:

My Kid is a Prodigy

[Someone]

Should we have a square for Strange Food Fetishes?

Along with Chain restaurants suck amirite?

[Someone]

Damn it, Green Bean! I was gonna add Smug Sanctimony.


I think we're gonna need a bigger card.

[Someone]

Another one for the "secondary" card: JohnClay Blogs.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Damn it, Green Bean! I was gonna add Smug Sanctimony.


I think we're gonna need a bigger card.

y'all notice most everyone in the how much credit card debt poll has zero?

wait, this should go in the regular snark thread. oh, well.

[Someone]

You're gonna need a square labeled "Me, too!"

[Someone]

Offensensitivity

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Damn it, Green Bean! I was gonna add Smug Sanctimony.


I think we're gonna need a bigger card.

Smug Sanctimony a much better name for it!

Okay, here's the plan - I'll take some of the suggested topics and make a beta version of the bingo card. it won't be perfect, but at least we can start play testing it. Then for the next card, we can rotate in other topics and see how it goes.

[Someone]

Gaudere's Law, of course.

[Someone]

Haven't Read the Thread, But...

[Someone]

Have we got Blaming the Victims on the board yet?

I guess there's a lot of intersection with Smug Sanctimony.

[Someone]

I can make it better at home...

[Someone]

Yeah, I bet you can.

[Someone]

Let's also add the the Guin ME TOO!

[Someone]

Posters Are Not Obeying My OP Instructions

[Someone]

Revolving Door Flounce

[Someone]

OP never came back.

TMI

I burning your meme.

Fap attack! (When you can tell the poster is sporting a chubby about the topic and/or their post You know, that creepy feeling you get from reading it.)

Lalala, I'm not listening.

+1

Long time lurker, first time poster.

Do these socks match?

[Someone]

I'm a nice guy.

RIP ( not sure about this one, but it's that twinge of sadness every single time you see an old post by a member who's died.)

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I'm a nice guy.

Add to that I'm not like all the other women ("It's what's on the inside that should matter", "I don't have a boyfriend because men are intimidated by my superior intelligence", "Why are men attracted to skinny women that look like young boys", etc)

RIP ( not sure about this one, but it's that twinge of sadness every single time you see an old post by a member who's died.)

The Church of Opalcat

[Someone]

NM

[Someone]

Nah, the Church of Opalcat hasn't been a thing since its patron saint died.

You're All Just Pixels On a Screen To Me

[Someone]

New poster resurrecting zombie thread
My way is the only correct way of doing something

And maybe something about ecigs.

[Someone]

How's abouts Preposterous Solution to Simple Problem
e.g.
Q: What's the best way to trim some tree branches near my roof.
A: Have you considered laser-sighted robotic drones?
A: You could try calling the fire department...they have ladders.
A: I never cut my branches, therefore I have no advice.
A: Please contact the EPA and local animal shelter before removing any branches to ensure you're not murdering any endangered species.
A: Why did you buy the house if you didn't want the branches?

[Someone]

also, GQ question answered by nothing but snark.

[Someone]

Million Dollar Idea

E.g. I have this idea that will make me a bazillion dollars. I can't tell you any specifics cuz you'll totally steal it, that's how good it is. So, how do I trademark, copyright, patent, design, prototype, manufacture, distribute and sell it? Also, I have zero capital.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

also, GQ question answered by nothing but snark.

GQ question answered with link to Google

[Someone]

Anyone suggested Indoor-Outdoor Cats?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

New poster resurrecting zombie thread

I don't mind zombie threads, or even zombie jokes. But what I hate is when the thread resurrector takes pains to mention that they know it's an old thread, and we still wind up with zombie jokes or people mentioning to the poster that it's an old thread.

[Someone]

DOPER BINGO: BETA TEST 1

PLAY TO COMMENCE 2:00 PM EST, DECEMBER 3, 2014

Here is the first card, folks.



(I have no idea how to post an actual image, so if someone wouldn't mind posting the actual card, that would be great.)

RULES:

To get a square: If you see something that you think should earn a square, post a link and explanation. When someone else seconds it, then it can be marked off.

If there is dispute: The square should be un-marked until it is resolved by the judges. The judges are me and RatedZ*

Ending the game: When we have consensus that we have scored a bingo, somebody will declare the start time of a new round and post a new little chart.

Posts by players on the SDMB: Posts by people playing this game don't count towards the bingo card. If you're socking it up or using a different name over there, you may not post anything just to get a square. Honor system...or dishonor system, as the case may be.

KEEPING TRACK OF THE SQUARES

Since we can't easily mark the card itself, we can mark it off by copying the little chart below. If we get a square, just change the numeral to an asterisk. Free Malware is marked off already.

D O P E R
1 1 1 1 1
2 2 2 2 2
3 3 * 3 3
4 4 4 4 4
5 5 5 5 5

* So nominated in thanks for his good work on the Ducati Resume thread. Unless he doesn't want to be a judge or something.

[Someone]

Oooh, we've only gotten started and we might have an O2: Irrelevant Humblebrag

In a thread lamenting the decline and fall of Radio Shack, Amateur Barbarian has to talk about OHAI he couldn't get hired there because he was such an electronics whiz, you guise!

PS to Green Bean: thanks for going through the trouble of organizing this!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

DOPER BINGO: BETA TEST 1

PLAY TO COMMENCE 2:00 PM EST, DECEMBER 3, 2014

Here is the first card, folks.



(I have no idea how to post an actual image, so if someone wouldn't mind posting the actual card, that would be great.)

RULES:

To get a square: If you see something that you think should earn a square, post a link and explanation. When someone else seconds it, then it can be marked off.

If there is dispute: The square should be un-marked until it is resolved by the judges. The judges are me and RatedZ*

Ending the game: When we have consensus that we have scored a bingo, somebody will declare the start time of a new round and post a new little chart.

Posts by players on the SDMB: Posts by people playing this game don't count towards the bingo card. If you're socking it up or using a different name over there, you may not post anything just to get a square. Honor system...or dishonor system, as the case may be.

KEEPING TRACK OF THE SQUARES

Since we can't easily mark the card itself, we can mark it off by copying the little chart below. If we get a square, just change the numeral to an asterisk. Free Malware is marked off already.



* So nominated in thanks for his good work on the Ducati Resume thread. Unless he doesn't want to be a judge or something.

I humbly accept this honor. Do be aware I'm kind of a dick. Are there any parameters for the first game, or is the whole derp open territory?

See if you can use this table. I think images are only possible in certain forums.

D	O	P	E	R
1	1	1	1	1
2	2	2	2	2
3	3	*	3	3
4	4	4	4	4
5	5	5	5	5

[Someone]

You guys are the bomb! What a great idea!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I humbly accept this honor. Do be aware I'm kind of a dick. Are there any parameters for the first game, or is the whole derp open territory?

I'd say the whole Dope should be open. If it turns out we need stricter parameters, we can add them.

AHA! I just figured out how we can play against each other while still using the same card: If you find something that earns a square, you get a point. Whoever has the most points when we get bingo wins. (the earned squares don't necessarily have to be part of the bingo row)

The people who frequent less-popular forums might have an advantage here.

See if you can use this table. I think images are only possible in certain forums.

Ooh, that table is perfect! We'll use that.

And here is a list of what's in each square so you don't have to go off-site to find it:

DOPER BINGO BETA TEST 1 - BINGO CARD

D1. It's Mainstream, Therefore it Sucks
D2. Egregious Threadshit
D3. Scientific Rationalization of Racism / Sexism / Ethnocentrism
D4. Preposterous Solution to Simple Problem
D5. Rules Lawers of the SDMB
O1. Disengenuous Irrelevant Strawman
O2. Irrelevant Humblebrag
O3. Teh Less Than Clever Intentional Misspellings
O4. I Can Make it Better/Cheaper At Home
O5. Kneejerk Threadclose
P1. Your Hyoo-Mon Ways Are Mysterious to Me
P2. Poorly Concealed Racism
P3. FREE MALWARE
P4. Smug Sanctimony
P5. Obvious Bullshit Anecdote
E1. Laughable Attempt at Internet Machismo
E2. Missing the Point Entirely
E3. Unmitigated Batshittery
E4. Unsolicited Disclosure of Disturbing Personal Information
E5. [Checks Join Date]
R1. Thinly Veiled Misogyny
R2. Haven't Read the Thread/OP, But...
R3. Flailing Attempt at Backpedaling
R4. Distateful Pedantry
R5. Stuck in 1990 And Proud of It!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Oooh, we've only gotten started and we might have an O2: Irrelevant Humblebrag

In a thread lamenting the decline and fall of Radio Shack, Amateur Barbarian has to talk about OHAI he couldn't get hired there because he was such an electronics whiz, you guise!

I'm not sure that's a humblebrag. It's more like he's justifying his failure by claiming that he was just too awesome to succeed. And...I think that's another category:

I Failed 'Cause I'm Just Too Awesome

Okay, that could be phrased a lot better.