reddit warms my heart sometimes

[Roo]

Reddit has a reputation as being pretty nasty. I don't know because I don't subscribe to those kinds of subs, but every once in a while I see something that surprises me in a good way.

I saw a title for a casual AMA on my front page.

I have cancer, am stuck in a hospital out of state for 3 weeks, and my girlfriend is cheating on me. AMA!

It seemed like a sympathy plea and a part of me wondered if it was even true, considering all the stuff people write on the internet. It turns out I was wrong, happily. OP was really upbeat.

One of the top-voted comments was a guy asking the OP for his address to send him pizza. The OP said his address was a room # in a hospital. A few minutes later, OP links a picture of himself, bald from cancer treatment, in the hospital with a pizza. More people offer to send him food. People ask about his health and OP links to his mom's blogs for updates.

Sometimes the internet can be a cold, cruel place, but seeing things like this on reddit warms my heart and restores my faith that there are good people out there.

[-FX-]

There are actually a lot of good people on Reddit, and the internet. Like me for instance.

[Roo]

This probably shouldn't make me laugh as much as it does, but I'm finding this funny at the moment. Evidently, reddit was having a few technical difficulties.

Front page of reddit:

Guys, Reddit is broken. We know. We are mods. We can't fix the backend. We're meseeks (err... mods), we're not Gods.

Shit's on fire, yo.

The OP was funny in itself, but the comments were great too.

Last time I went outside, it was exhilarating and I felt like a new man.
Then I realized I had only left my bedroom. I'm not trying to change the world here

There's a place I've heard tale of...it's only found outside the bedroom, but the legends say there is a throne made of porcelain that will take away your poop for you! No more pooping in the corner! Best of all? There's said to be wifi there, so you can maintain contact with reddit 100% of the time you are adventuring.

You are a foolish dreamer Horforia. All that lies outside these walls is death and torment. Our people have pooped in the corner for generations. Why can't you be like your older brother Grok? Grok brought us two reddit golds last week. All you did was complain about our ways on Tumblr. If mother was still with us she'd be very disappointed in you.

[Morgenstern]

Originally Posted by -FX-

There are actually a lot of good people on Reddit, and the internet. Like me for instance.

You misspelled "delusional half-wits." Like you for instance.

[Roo]

Another story on reddit that warmed my heart.

In a post on why people were on reddit instead of with their family on Christmas, some guy wrote a really sad story on how poorly his family treated him on Christmas while treating his family treated his brother so much better.

There were lots of encouragements and someone sent him some reddit gold.

For breakfast I had a big plate of criticism because my mom didn't like the way I cut bread for myself to eat. Not for anyone else. I cute my own bread wrong. Then as my brother and father opened gifts, she read me a list of things she had given me throughout the year (an ice scraper, a phone charger, and then the list included any meals she had bought me). The worst thing is, she asked for a Christmas list from me and specified this was the christmas of needs versus wants, so I asked for a winter coat and an oil change. I didn't get either of them (although my dad did give me a wedge of bleu cheese... I'm lactose intolerant). My brother got a hover board. A winter coat in the Midwest isn't a necessity, but I'll be damned if one doesn't absolutely have to own a hoverboard. In winter. When there's snow covering the ground. So I went back to sleep from 10 am to now (6:30) and I'm planning on sleeping the rest of the day to forget about my family

edit: A little update, I took an Uber taxi back to my apartment. the $50 price tag was worth not having to put up with my family anymore. I cooked myself a hot dog and some rice and now I'm going to play a fun drinking game with myself called "How much alcohol will it take to forget about today". Thanks to all you strangers for your kind words. You don't actually know how much it means to me.

edit 2: Thank you for the gold! Congrats on spending more money on me today than the people that raised me lol. And a thank you to all of the internet strangers who have replied and sent me private messages. There are so many that I probably won't be able to reply to them all. You guys made my Christmas look up. Thank you to all.

[Roo]

Well, this one isn't exactly heartwarming, but it's funny and backwards nice at the same time.

In a thread titled:
What's an insult that was said to you that left you more confused than offended?

Originally Posted by poster 1

I had a student tell me to "get a spouse" in a derogatory tone.

Originally Posted by poster 2

Yeah, fuck you! Go find a significant other you can share your life with!

And while you're at it, why don't you grow old together as you slowly realize over the decades you spend together that you're only falling in love even more every day? Yeah, you fucking prick!

And then why don't you raise a family together and shed tears of joy when you see them go from a small bundle of joy to a fully-formed human being who is going off to college? Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you, douche!?

And then why don't you spend your remaining years together lamenting that you hadn't met one another sooner, and slowly fade from reality one at a time, satisfied that yo did not die alone, but wishing you'd had more time to enjoy it all?

Yeah, why don't you?! FUCKING ASSHOLE. REKT.

EDIT: Thanks for the gold, asshole! Now why don't you continue to go around making people feel happy and validated all the time so they can pay it forward and in turn make the world a better place? Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you MOTHERFUCKER!?

EDIT2: Yeah, thanks a lot for the second gold, you fucking douche-nozzle! You can take all your generosity and shove it right up the bright happy future I wish for you and all your loved ones! BURN.

EDIT3: You trying to drown me in gold, you sneaky fuck!? Why I bet a generous little shit like you just wants Reddit to have infinite server time so we can keep having fun for years to come! Yeah, I hope you're happy knowing you're the reason we're all here, you pissant bastard! Yeah, I said it. FUCKING DEAL.

EDIT4: Are you fucking kidding me? What the fuck is this shit? I hope you think you spent your money well. No, really, I bet some day you'll get an outpouring of love, affection, and respect from all the goddamn lives you've touched! I bet you'll feel real fucking existentially fulfilled then, won't you? Yeah, that's what I thought!You fucking WOULD.

EDIT5: Did you just fucking gild me while I was writing? You think that's going to stop me you fucking cocksocket? Well SURPRISE, ASSHOLE. I hope you remember this moment when your father tells you he's proud of you and you give him that goddamn shit eating grin of yours and tell him you love him. I bet you will. Douchebag.

EDIT6: Six? SIX!? What the legitimate fuck? What kind of a noble-hearted, generous fuckstick would gild someone for the sixth time? You must live in some kind of magical dream world where everyone is always goddamn happy. I hope that lame-ass dream world becomes your reality, you fucking ponce.

EDIT7: What? More gilds? Hey, fuck you! You realize this means I have more gild edits taking up space here than original fucking content? You and six other shitbirds are probably deserving of twice this posts karma! Yeah, I hope everyone on Reddit sings your fucking praises. You deservingly self satisfied son of a bitch.

EDITSOMETHING: Motherfucker! I don't even know how many gilds this is. I now literally cannot measure or conceive of how fucking generous you Midas-ass motherfuckers are. Does that make you happy? Well I hope you're happy, dickrag. I hope you're real damn happy. And healthy. Bitch.

By the end, the guy got 11 gildings, for swearing in sarcasm.

[PSXer]

I think giraffe boards should get a Gold system

[Roo]

Who would get the money from selling the gold?

[PSXer]

giraffe but I get a commission

[Roo]

well, if you could convince people here to pay for server time, I guess you deserve some commission.

Good luck with your plan!

Next stop: World Domination.

[Roo]

Originally Posted by PSXer

I think giraffe boards should get a Gold system

Or maybe changetip. Then all the money could go to other people.

*changetip is a system on reddit and linked to some other websites where people can tip other people in small denominations, often less than $1 with supposedly no transaction fees. I'm not really sure how it works. I haven't tried it, but I've seen others leave the notation.

[Roo]

Forget one little letter and it's a punfest.

In the slowcooking sub:

[Meta] Would it be possible for you to include the size of your cock pot while providing the recipe? It would help adjust the recipe accordingly.