I just went to the Farmer's market. I feel so sick now...

[C2H5OH]

Checked out the first guy's peaches. They were pretty hard, and he said "Nice and hard, the way they're supposed to be". I gave that guy's peaches a pass. Next guy didn't say anything at all as I squeezed his peaches. Then sniffed them. They were perfect. Ready to eat right then. Not too hard, not to squishy. So I bought them. Started eating one as I was giving him my money. Then I went on to look at everyone else's wares.

By the time I'd gotten up one side and down the other, I'd got some nice sweet corn and some tasty concorde grapes, too. I also found out that I was out of peaches, and was feeling rather ill.

I had eaten all four of those peaches. One by one by one.

If anyone recommends a fructivore diet to me in the next 24 hours, I'm gonna explosively shit on him. I'm loaded and ready.

Peaches may be my favorite fruit, when they're in season, but I think I've had my fill for this season...

[Jaglavak]

Well you know, there's nothing like a few apricots to settle an upset tummy. Wash them down with a pint of apple cider and it'll fix you right up.

[KidVermicious]

Prunes help too.

Lots and lots of prunes.

[Jaglavak]

And then a shot of baslamic vinegar. It's got electrolytes and nutes and stuff.

[C2H5OH]

Peaches!

Way, way too many peaches.

[SmartAleq]

Done in by a mere four peaches? Shoot, I get more fruit than that in a smoothie! Fruit is nom and does not make me bleed out so I eat as much as I can get my hands on.

[Detroit Hoser]

Take a couple spoonfuls of molasses. That should fix it.

[C2H5OH]

I was posting post #5, and my mother asked me what I was doing. She'd never heard that song, so I played it for her. Did the air-guitar for it, and started singing.

I told her there was a song about peaches. She now likes POTUS, too. At least that song.

"Movin' to the country, gonna eat me a lot of peaches!"

[C2H5OH]

Nothing compares to Ninjas.

Now I want another peach.

[Flying Saucerian]

Do you dare to eat a peach?

[Jaglavak]

One peach leads to another.

[SmartAleq]

Just ask the Allman Brothers. *sage nod*

[Musicat]

What you need is a lime in the peach, drink 'em both up. Then call the doctor and say, "Ain't there nothin' I can take?" And the doc he say, "Put the lime in the peach, drink 'em both up...

[Dragonlady]

So THAT'S the problem! I've been putting the peach in the coconut.