155: Yeah, we all need someone we can Durp on. And if you want it, baby, well you can Snark on me

[Someone]

GO

[Someone]

I can’t hear a thing.

[Someone]

Second!

That's still a thing, right?

[Someone]

3

[Someone]

first page! or something

[Someone]

This title sucks far less than the last one, but in a good way.

[Someone]

Yes. That.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

This title sucks far less than the last one, but in a good way.

This title sucks far worse than the last one, but in a good way.

[Someone]

There is still hope.

[Someone]

Hope? Bah! A fool's game. Its a stinkin rotten lousy world!
But maybe someday the titles might get a little better, anyway.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I can’t hear a thing.

Maybe this will help a little:

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

This title sucks far worse than the last one, but in a good way.

So - are you gonna post in this thread?

And when 2andy4 pops in: Hey!

[Someone]

Hey!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

So - are you gonna post in this thread?

And when 2andy4 pops in: Hey!

Of course. The "in a good way" gives me leave.

[Someone]

I just want to see @ASL's reaction to Velocity's war story

[Someone]

Velocity's war story.

r/thathappened

Everyone else is stepping around it like a dog turd on the sidewalk.

[Someone]

My grandpa's war stories were the best. He never, ever talked about combat. He did run a black market in watches and other jewelry taken from dead nazis. I still have a pair of cufflinks and a brooch shaped like a curved dagger that fits into a fancy scabbard, and both the dagger and scabbard have their own pins so you can either wear it sheathed or unsheathed. It's a bit fancy and... aggressive... for my normal style but it holds immense sentimental value.

(Grampa was also the master of "finding" stuff in civilian life; our mother drilled it into us early on that when Grampa gave you something, you said "thank you" and didn't ask questions.)

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I just want to see @ASL's reaction to Velocity's war story

I... I guess I’m having a sort of meta-moment. Velocipede tells a story about how he doesn’t understand normal human emotions, and so now I myself don’t know how to feel.

[Someone]

NWHeaves is showing her whole ass in the breaking news thread about the shooting in Texas. She is surprised that anyone is covering the story because it happened to poor, brown people. She is also defending the cops who waited to confront the shooter, but did manage to evacuate their own children.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

NWHeaves is showing her whole ass in the breaking news thread about the shooting in Texas. She is surprised that anyone is covering the story because it happened to poor, brown people. She is also defending the cops who waited to confront the shooter, but did manage to evacuate their own children.

She’s been one of my 49’ers for a while now.

[Someone]

Excellent tittle, I really love The Beatles!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Excellent tittle, I really love The Beatles!

Heyyyyyyyy...

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Heyyyyyyyy...

Yaaaaaaa!!!

[Someone]

Does anyone have any practical advice for protecting a shopping cart from improvised explosives devices?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Does anyone have any practical advice for protecting a shopping cart from improvised explosives devices?

Yes. Put a second shopping cart in front of it, joined together by a long pole. If the insurgents get wise to that, double the length of the pole. Glad I could put my counter-IED training to productive use.

[Someone]

What kind of IED are we talking?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Yaaaaaaa!!!

I wanna shoop, baby...

[Someone]

[Someone]

Hello.

[Someone]

When presented with the opportunity to watch this video, I will always take the time to do so. It just makes me smile.

Originally Posted by Someone

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

What kind of IED are we talking?

Ketchup packets. I stepped on one once in a parking lot in the middle of summer. I had asphalt-in-July hot ketchup squirt up my leg from my ankle right up to my butt, inside my shorts. I didn't enjoy the sensation.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Ketchup packets. I stepped on one once in a parking lot in the middle of summer. I had asphalt-in-July hot ketchup squirt up my leg from my ankle right up to my butt, inside my shorts. I didn't enjoy the sensation.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Ketchup packets. I stepped on one once in a parking lot in the middle of summer. I had asphalt-in-July hot ketchup squirt up my leg from my ankle right up to my butt, inside my shorts. I didn't enjoy the sensation.

In that case, in addition to being more vigilant yourself, you might consider installing a high turret in your shopping cart and assigning someone to lookout for ketchup packets and other UEC along the route.

[Someone]

Who needs ketchup packets when you can make your own? Just need some aluminum foil, a welding torch, tomatoes, sugar, salt, and vinegar and about 70 hours of labor.

[Someone]

So...if we aren't talking about a command-detonated IED, the best bet is to treat them like any other minefield. What you need is a shopping cart version of this:

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Heyyyyyyyy...

I was gonna reply but I'll let it be.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I was gonna reply but I'll let it be.

Hopefully these puns will be Getting Better soon...

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

In that case, in addition to being more vigilant yourself, you might consider installing a high turret in your shopping cart and assigning someone to lookout for ketchup packets and other UEC along the route.

Maybe we could get the hippo to mount a howitzer and take point.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I was gonna reply but I'll let it be.

You whisper words of wisdom-

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Who needs ketchup packets when you can make your own? Just need some aluminum foil, a welding torch, tomatoes, sugar, salt, and vinegar and about 70 hours of labor.

And no cheating by using store-bought aluminum foil. If you don't mine and refine your own bauxite, you're just a poser.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

In that case, in addition to being more vigilant yourself, you might consider installing a high turret in your shopping cart and assigning someone to lookout for ketchup packets and other UEC along the route.

It was peacetime. Condiment terrorism was the furthest thing from my mind...

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Who needs ketchup packets when you can make your own? Just need some aluminum foil, a welding torch, tomatoes, sugar, salt, and vinegar and about 70 hours of labor.

Worthy of a terrifically snarkable post on the derp. Perhaps in a thread about whether Hunts Ketchup is better than Heinz.

[Someone]

Heinz. Hunts uses artificial tomatoes. The kind Desmond sells at the market.

[Someone]

I think, perhaps crane will be getting a warning shortly…



…or maybe the other guy.

[Someone]

Dr sunflwr got the warning

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Ketchup packets. I stepped on one once in a parking lot in the middle of summer. I had asphalt-in-July hot ketchup squirt up my leg from my ankle right up to my butt, inside my shorts. I didn't enjoy the sensation.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Dr sunflwr got the warning

Well, Crane is still a Crank.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Well, Crane is still a Crank.

I thought the porn star murdered him

I see NUZZINK!



<---- looks like a chicken goose stepping

[Someone]

Anyone who uses Huntz ketchup is worse than Hitler.

[Someone]

They both suck, and Trader Joe's Organic ketchup is the only true answer--everything else tastes like tomato jam after eating TJ's for a bit.