Durp Snark #163: Take this Durp and shove it. I ain't Snarkin' here no more (Now the election fallout thread)

[Someone]

GO!!

[Someone]

HEY

ETA: good thread title, should I find that suspicious?

[Someone]

Likes it, I do.

[Someone]

This must be the new snark thread.

[Someone]

:: smug ::

And my awful pun was the one that reeked bad enough to slay the last one.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

:: smug ::

And my awful pun was the one that reeked bad enough to slay the last one.

LOL, I was thinking that!

[Someone]

Smells funky

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Smells funky

It comes in a spray-bottle. ALL Used Snark dealers spray their used snark threads with that shit. They assume that used snark buyers expect them to stink, that way, and just won't buy them, unless they have that 'eeeewwww' smell. They're probably right about that...

Giraffe has a can of that and he sprays his armpits, crotch, and ass with it every morning.

[Someone]

That’s okay Jag, we all lay an egg now and then.

[Someone]

Hey!

[Someone]

Gulf-finger has his own pit thread.
I predict a troll bonfire in the making. Get your weenies out. Oh, shit...NM, do Not do that. Get the marshmallows. They safer.

(That would be @gulftiger)

[Someone]

Time to play guess the poster!

I am very picky about almost everything sensory. But while in my youth I considered it a mark of my rarified and educated aesthetic sensibility, I now consider it more just being a lot more sensitive (in a neutral sense of that word) than most people. Taste, touch, sight, sound, all of it. The reason I might prefer classical music to rock and rock is that rock is so loud and repetitive it’s painful. I can’t listen to rap because of the macho aggression inherent in it – aggression makes me sick to my stomach. Even when it’s about something positive, the beat is aggressive and staccato. Like that. Mass produced products feel soulless. I literally feel how soulless they are, compared to things made by hand. It’s an uncomfortable life, frankly.

[Someone]

Special different me, check
I hate everything thats popular, check
Poor victim me, check

All the bases covered. Broomie?

[Someone]

Should I get Ranch or Italian with this word salad?

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sa...u=larry_borgia

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Time to play guess the poster!

The rarified and educated aesthetic sensibility threw me, but my first guess was correct.

My hatred for misanthropes is warring with my sympathy for the mentally ill with this poster. (Not Broomstick)

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Time to play guess the poster!

That has got to be Ulfreida. Poor sad always victim Ulfreida.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

That has got to be Ulfreida. Poor sad always victim Ulfreida.

She feels things on a deeper level than you.

[Someone]

I haven't read the post y'all are referring to but, generally, I like Ulfreida.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I haven't read the post y'all are referring to but, generally, I like Ulfreida.

She is one of the posters whose whole persona is just grating. She has such an elevated opinion of herself, while also always acting like she is a victim. She hates the world and is so much better than everyone else! She thinks the Olympic Opening Ceremony was offensive to Christians, but of course she didn’t watch it because, as she loves to brag, she has never owned nor watched TV in her life.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I haven't read the post y'all are referring to but, generally, I like Ulfreida.

She has said that she would murder 90% of the human race if she had the power.

[Someone]

Well that’s just sensible resource management.

[Someone]

The thread is "Things I'm a snob about". That's not being snobbish. That's having a sensory disorder.

I have that to a degree. It can be fixed. I believe she may be autistic.
I can't believe she said she would kill people, that's sicko in another way.

But ..she has chickens who live in her house. And again. Another mental disorder.
They're fucking livestock. Not in the house. Never in the house.

Gives me hope tho'. At least we know people aren't visiting or coming for dinner(no KFC allowed) that means she has no possible victims of her murderous ideation.

Good god

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

But ..she has chickens who live in her house. And again. Another mental disorder.
They're fucking livestock. Not in the house. Never in the house.

Yabutt. When we get day old replacement chicks we start them out in our sun room with heat lamps. We handle them daily and give meal-worm treats. When they no longer require supplemental heat they are moved yo the barn/coop, but they remain very calm and enjoy treats.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Yabutt. When we get day old replacement chicks we start them out in our sun room with heat lamps. We handle them daily and give meal-worm treats. When they no longer require supplemental heat they are moved yo the barn/coop, but they remain very calm and enjoy treats.

Having baby chicks for awhile in a box, in a contained area is another thing all together.

Grown ass hens wandering around the house is not good. Shit just falls out their butts with out compaction. (That should be compunction, but I like compaction too . )
If they have bumble foot or some fungus, upper respiratory thing, humans can catch it.
You know this is how Avian flus start.
If it ain't able to control its bowels it ain't living in my house.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

If it ain't able to control its bowels it ain't living in my house.

No exceptions for kids in pull-ups or Great Aunt Edna?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

The thread is "Things I'm a snob about". That's not being snobbish. That's having a sensory disorder.

I have that to a degree. It can be fixed. I believe she may be autistic.
I can't believe she said she would kill people, that's sicko in another way.

But ..she has chickens who live in her house. And again. Another mental disorder.
They're fucking livestock. Not in the house. Never in the house.

Gives me hope tho'. At least we know people aren't visiting or coming for dinner(no KFC allowed) that means she has no possible victims of her murderous ideation.

Good god

Did I ever tell you guys about the summer that I was a carpet cleaner? $5/hour, me and this other guy would get our appointments and drive around in this truck working for a ChemDry franchise. Most houses and apartments were fine but we definitely saw some shit. Generally the worst were the bird owners, parrots, not chickens but still. We’d pull away a couch and there’d be trails of bird shit down the wall of which wasn’t my problem and on the carpet which was. Fun job overall though.

[Someone]

The articles? I just look at the pictures. I didn’t know there were articles.

[Someone]

Geez, I thought Amateur Barbarian had reappeared.

[Someone]

Heh heh. Chickens in diapers. That's funny 🐔

[Someone]

I love that there’s a thing called bumblefoot.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I love that there’s a thing called bumblefoot.

I bet the birds are not too happy about it, though...

[Someone]

Why do you think the birds revolted at Bodega Bay? Bumblefoot.

[Someone]

I have a green bumblefoot right in my Avatar.

[Someone]

I worked (volunteered) in a wildlife rescue geared mostly to birds, specifically raptors. Bumblefoot was a constant concern.

[Someone]

Bumblefoot affects rodents, too, and it's pretty awful.

[Someone]

Jesus fucking Christ! Just how much of a moron do you want to be???

Love_Rhombus, incredible moron... "A genuine question about Kamala Harris’s “DEI hire”

Just how stupid can you get? Oh, right, Durper... 'nuff said...

[Someone]

Years ago, when affirmative action was in force, they called it the 3B’s. Brown, black or boobs. So, if a woman got a job, it was because of the 3B’s, or she slept with the boss. Now Republicans call it DEI. Which means “someone other than the white dude got the job.” It totally strips a person of credit for being competent and capable and worthy. Typical trumpy-Republican dog whistling dogma.

[Someone]

"Bumblefoot?" That's a name for a slow-witted Narnian dwarf, not a serious disease.

"I just heard that your wife has cancer. I'm so sorry."

"Yeah, blusterpuff. Stage 3A."

"Don't give up hope. My aunt was diagnosed with jinglefizz in 2004 and is still doing great."

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

"Bumblefoot?" That's a name for a slow-witted Narnian dwarf, not a serious disease.

Old-timey names for medical conditions have always cracked me up. One of my gf's horses had some skin lesions that I told her looked like Dermatophilus congolensis, a bacterial infection. I suggested cleaning with betadine, which cleared it up.

Later, she told me the farrier told her it was rain-rot. Yep, rain-rot is the old-timey name for Dermatiphilus infection.

[Someone]

Is it much more likely to happen in wet weather?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Is it much more likely to happen in wet weather?

Yep, growth of Dermatophilus happens when conditions are damp,

[Someone]

So the Strange Orange Machine rolls into GA after Harris makes headlines for her the sprawling rallies, and immediately calls out Gov Kemp (R) for not helping him "win" the state in 2020. Um, should someone tell donny that he still has a trial waiting for him here? On second thought, let him shit the bed.

[Someone]

It appears some dumbass was drunk posting and left this nugget in the wrong thread. What makes it noteworthy is the time stamp. Some idiots can't wait to start their day on a bender.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Some idiots can't wait to start their day on a bender.

Hey now, you aren't supposed to call yourself an idiot.
Thats what your friends are for, numbskull.

[Someone]

You tell him, dumbass!

[Someone]

[Someone]

The word 'lame' comes from the word 'lamina' a part of a horse hoof that can develop 'laminitis' which of course, causes the horse to be 'lame'. Doesn't mean he tells bad jokes at a party. Means his foot hurts so he limps.

[Someone]

Shoot 'em when they go lame.

How did that ever become a standard joke, anyway? Horses were really expensive, back when they were standard livestock that pulled the damn plow. Back when my mother grew up on a farm, cattle were too expensive to just shoot. How did 'shooting the lame horse' become a standard joke, eh?

[Someone]

The cavalry. You can't hold up for a lame horse, and you can't leave a good animal for the enemy to find.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Shoot 'em when they go lame.

How did that ever become a standard joke, anyway? Horses were really expensive, back when they were standard livestock that pulled the damn plow. Back when my mother grew up on a farm, cattle were too expensive to just shoot. How did 'shooting the lame horse' become a standard joke, eh?

Horses are built for standing up all the time. They can lie down for a short time but it is not good for them, they usually don't even lie down to sleep, their internal guts get twisted and will lead to their death anyway. A horse lying down is a very sick horse.

There is no way to keep a horse upright and immobile long enough for a broken leg to heal. And shooting them used to be the humane thing to do.

I now return you to reruns of Bonanza.