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View Poll Results: Do you read whilst sitting on the throne?
Toilet-reader and proud 59 74.68%
I just do my business, no reading 19 24.05%
TR but I am ashamed 0 0%
I wish I read on the toilet 1 1.27%
Voters: 79. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 10th November 2009, 06:29 AM
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Toilet reading - do you do it?

I love reading on the toilet. It makes me very happy. Everyone in my family reads on the bog.

One day if I have children, I will encourage them to read on the toilet - I may teach them to do both at the same time as I potty-train them.

So, because I'm off work today with the lurgy, and I'm bored of my book and my TV with most of the channels not working, I want to know who reads on the crapper. I know lots of folks do, but not everyone admits to it so I have anonymised the poll.

You can also tell me what you read, too.

I read Charlie Brooker compilations.
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  #2  
Old 10th November 2009, 06:31 AM
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My dad usually sends me a bunch of Time Magazines when he's through with them, I find them to be excellent loo-literature.
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  #3  
Old 10th November 2009, 06:46 AM
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"The Bookstore" is one of the worst "Seinfeld" episodes ever, because everyone makes a big deal about not wanting to touch or even be near the book that George took into the bathroom. I don't get why that's funny.

90% of the books I own have been in the loo. While I've been pooping.

We have a little magazine rack that hooks onto our toilet tank, and a pile of books on the shelf beside the towels to ensure that there's always plenty of reading material in there.

I often have a novel going that I read in bed or in the living room or wherever, and then a nonfiction book going that's specifically a bathroom book.
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  #4  
Old 10th November 2009, 08:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Superhero View Post
"The Bookstore" is one of the worst "Seinfeld" episodes ever, because everyone makes a big deal about not wanting to touch or even be near the book that George took into the bathroom. I don't get why that's funny.
At work we have an open-plan library/reading area, on the far side of which (from my office) is a men's loo. Right near the loo is the "new magazines" rack. I know that some of those get read in the loo by at least one co-worker. Makes me think twice about picking them up afterwards ...
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  #5  
Old 10th November 2009, 08:19 AM
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I'm a reader. Generally I try to have something funny to read - I'm in there for a few minutes, so something I can pick up, flick through and put down a few minutes later. This includes:

Viz comics
The Onion's Our Dumb Century
The Onion's Our Dumb World
More Viz comics

I'm currently toilet-reading the QI Book of Banter - a tome of amusing quotations. Sometimes I do find myself in there longer than necessary, to get to the end of the page or section.

My girlfriend thinks I'm weird for doing this.
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  #6  
Old 10th November 2009, 09:02 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Superhero View Post
"The Bookstore" is one of the worst "Seinfeld" episodes ever, because everyone makes a big deal about not wanting to touch or even be near the book that George took into the bathroom. I don't get why that's funny.

90% of the books I own have been in the loo. While I've been pooping.

We have a little magazine rack that hooks onto our toilet tank, and a pile of books on the shelf beside the towels to ensure that there's always plenty of reading material in there.

I often have a novel going that I read in bed or in the living room or wherever, and then a nonfiction book going that's specifically a bathroom book.
Quote:
Originally Posted by OutStandingInTheField View Post
At work we have an open-plan library/reading area, on the far side of which (from my office) is a men's loo. Right near the loo is the "new magazines" rack. I know that some of those get read in the loo by at least one co-worker. Makes me think twice about picking them up afterwards ...
This is a good reason to avoid used paperback retailers. I have a friend who is a voracious reader (consumes an average pulp novel a week), and his bathroom has stacks of paperbacks everywhere, including behind the commode. He tells me he frequents those retailers and often exchanges books for free.

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  #7  
Old 10th November 2009, 09:41 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OutStandingInTheField View Post
At work we have an open-plan library/reading area, on the far side of which (from my office) is a men's loo. Right near the loo is the "new magazines" rack. I know that some of those get read in the loo by at least one co-worker. Makes me think twice about picking them up afterwards ...
You know they are just reading them, not wiping with them.
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  #8  
Old 10th November 2009, 10:03 AM
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You know they are just reading them, not wiping with them.
Yes, but normally one washes hands after using the toilet. For a reason. Did the person handle the magazine with unwashed hands? Probably. Will I die from it? Probably not. I just think that it is inappropriate to use a "public" resource in this way.
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  #9  
Old 10th November 2009, 11:22 AM
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You know they are just reading them, not wiping with them.
"Why are these pages all stuck together?"
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  #10  
Old 10th November 2009, 06:33 AM
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I do and always have done. I have a stack of books next to the tub that can be passed off as bubble bath reading material to the squeamish but mainly serves as entertainment when I'm sitting on the loo.

Feel better soon!
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  #11  
Old 10th November 2009, 06:35 AM
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While I have done this, I find the concept of exhorting your kids to do this to be... strange. Not condemning it or anything, nor do I find it disgusting, the visual of it just trips an amused/befuddled part of my brain.
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  #12  
Old 10th November 2009, 06:39 AM
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I read occasionally--never a book, just magazines or newspapers because they're recycleable and whatever goes in there, stays in there until it's time to recycle. Mostly I do sudoku and cryptograms on the throne.
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  #13  
Old 10th November 2009, 06:39 AM
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Well at some point I'll need to teach the little blighters to use the toilet, and how to read, and thought it might save time and effort if I combined the two.
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  #14  
Old 10th November 2009, 06:58 AM
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Maybe it's because of the fine fine fecal mist that sprays over everything in the vicinty of the toilet each time you flush your poops.

I read books and mags and newspapers, but I think it grosses my husband out that I also web browse on my phone in there. I usually read the Geeb.
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  #15  
Old 10th November 2009, 07:15 AM
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Maybe it's because of the fine fine fecal mist that sprays over everything in the vicinty of the toilet each time you flush your poops.
Which is why I put the lid down before I flush.
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  #16  
Old 10th November 2009, 07:20 AM
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LOVE to bathroom read, in fact, I feel uncomfortable if I don't have something to read. Oftentimes I'll stay there long after business has concluded if I'm really enthralled by what I'm reading. Cell phone Monopoly is also a common restroom pastime when no reading material is available.

Anyone get desperate for something to read in the john, so you find yourself studying the ingredients of shampoo?
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  #17  
Old 10th November 2009, 07:23 AM
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Anyone get desperate for something to read in the john, so you find yourself studying the ingredients of shampoo?
In a stranger's bathroom, yes. How rude of them not leave out reading materials even though they knew I was coming over.
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  #18  
Old 10th November 2009, 07:31 AM
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Anyone get desperate for something to read in the john, so you find yourself studying the ingredients of shampoo?
Oh, yes. We luck out with bilingual labels--twice as much to read!
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  #19  
Old 10th November 2009, 07:32 AM
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I don't get this inclination to linger over reading material in the loo. The train comes into the station, the passengers disembark, the train moves on. End of story.
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  #20  
Old 10th November 2009, 07:37 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Agent Foxtrot View Post

Anyone get desperate for something to read in the john, so you find yourself studying the ingredients of shampoo?

*Raises hand*

My name is Khampelf, and I'm a toilet reader. Hi, Khampelf.


I've read the product labels when stuck for anything better. We keep a rack of magazines next to loo. Mostly old Men's Health and Woman's Health donated from our adopted mom, who brings them by with her thrift store finds.

Reading in bed before sleeping is another, I think it was Heinlein who described it as 'a habit worse than heroin, I'll read want ads in a language I don't understand before going without."
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  #21  
Old 10th November 2009, 01:02 PM
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I also web browse on my phone in there. I usually read the Geeb.
Same here. Or play freecell.
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  #22  
Old 10th November 2009, 01:11 PM
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Nobody has mentioned Uncle John's Bathroom Readers? I have four or five different ones.
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  #23  
Old 10th November 2009, 01:20 PM
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Nobody has mentioned Uncle John's Bathroom Readers? I have four or five different ones.
Oh, yeah, those are great.

There's this other guy I used to think was great for bathroom reading, but he stopped putting out books years ago. Cecil somebody.
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  #24  
Old 10th November 2009, 02:55 PM
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Oh, yeah, those are great.

There's this other guy I used to think was great for bathroom reading, but he stopped putting out books years ago. Cecil somebody.
We keep the Robert Fulghum books in there - perfect little short bits, fairly re-readable - and a book I found at a library sale a few years ago called An Incomplete Education which is full of short and informative pieces on just about every subject. Everything I know about the British peerage system, I learned sitting on the can.
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  #25  
Old 10th November 2009, 06:59 AM
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damn- here I was thinking that Toilet Reading was a more exotic form of Tealeaf Reading.

"I can see by the bowl that some fibre needs to enter your life soon..." And the swilling and empting of the dregs is very much likely to be a crowd pleaser.
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  #26  
Old 10th November 2009, 07:13 AM
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I dood it. I read Sci-Fi anthologies.
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  #27  
Old 10th November 2009, 07:22 AM
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There was a co-worker in our group that would always borrow another co-workers newspaper. Like clockwork every morning, in fact, I was jealous of his regularity.

After about six months, she realized he was taking the paper into the mens room for his morning constitutional. She did not appreciate learning this.

Much hilarity ensued.


ETA:
Now that I have an iPhone, I no longer read in there. I'm not sure where to vote.
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  #28  
Old 10th November 2009, 11:14 AM
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damn- here I was thinking that Toilet Reading was a more exotic form of Tealeaf Reading.

"I can see by the bowl that some fibre needs to enter your life soon..." And the swilling and empting of the dregs is very much likely to be a crowd pleaser.
Bleah - our new toilet is terrible for that. I don't need a sparking clean bowl you can eat off of, but is it too much to ask that the flush doesn't leave poop smears?issed:

Oh yeah, the OP - proud toilet reader! In my family of origin, you had to be very careful that you didn't forget a book in the bathroom - next thing you know, you see someone else walking around reading it.
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  #29  
Old 10th November 2009, 07:20 AM
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Nope. There are more comfortable places to read than sitting on the porcelain throne.
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  #30  
Old 10th November 2009, 07:57 AM
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I always have a designated bathroom book. Also a car book, a bedtime book and a living room book, but those aren't under discussion.

Crapper Time is the only inviolable alone time I get, so too damn right I read there. I have found, however, that the bathroom book cannot be a new or enthralling book or I'll sit on the throne until by upper thighs are imprinted with a rather deep and painful red ring. Therefore, it has to be a book I've read before, or a moderately boring one.

In a pinch (heh) I will read everything from the shampoo bottle to the toothpaste tube, also including the tampon box. I'm very familiar with the dangers of Toxic Shock Syndrome.
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  #31  
Old 10th November 2009, 09:08 AM
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Alternately, Zeener, you could just stop eating your paperbacks.
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  #32  
Old 10th November 2009, 09:18 AM
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Empirical evidence suggests that, absent an Imodium situation, the pooper will not cut loose unless there is print before my eyes, or at least within arm's reach (sometimes I'm playing with the cat or changing the roll or something of that nature, but the book had better damned well be there.) I'm not sure what the reason is for this, but there you have it. Himself reads his RSS feeds on his phone in there, I prefer the old fashioned book. I also read while blow drying my hair and I pretty much have to read myself to sleep as well.
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  #33  
Old 10th November 2009, 09:19 AM
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I don't have nearly enough time. Sometimes I'll check my FB, but that's about it.
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  #34  
Old 10th November 2009, 09:47 AM
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When I was studying for my state contractor's license exam, I kept the AIA documents needed for the exam in the bathroom. Great study time, and since I'm one of those people who won't talk to you whilst dropping the kids off at the pool, it's quiet time!

I aced that section of the exam!
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  #35  
Old 10th November 2009, 09:47 AM
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No. I've tried a few times, but like others it just doesn't take me that long to do my business. By the time I get the book open and read a sentence or two, it's time to reach for the toilet paper.
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  #36  
Old 10th November 2009, 09:54 AM
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No, I can't concentrate on what I was doing if I try to read at the same time.
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  #37  
Old 10th November 2009, 11:24 AM
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I have an iPhone. Some of my posts here are made when I'm on the throne.
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  #38  
Old 10th November 2009, 11:29 AM
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I, too, am a proud toilet reader. I usually have a book, as well as Reader's Digests that we keep getting for free.

Hubby takes part of the newspaper, or reads Home Improvement magazines.

I also have a purse book, and a living room book, as well as tons of magazines that I barely read...

Oh yeah - at work I'm too embarassed to take in reading material, so I play Tetris on my phone (on silent.)

Last edited by Rebo; 11th November 2009 at 08:11 AM. Reason: Too many n's
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  #39  
Old 10th November 2009, 12:06 PM
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I guess I never really addressed the topic here, so YES, I do like to read in the smallest room in the house. Lacking anything real to read, I have been known to grab shampoo bottles, read stuff the kids left lying around, scavenge through the trash (OK, kidding), you name it. I also have been known to surf the web on my "portable brain" (as the wife calls it), or play the odd game on a PSP. Colin McRae Rally 2005+ is a favourite. Nothing like going flat out in a WRX or an EVO to get things moving!
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  #40  
Old 10th November 2009, 01:36 PM
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I am very interested in all the views expressed here and I have taken mental notes on who does what in the bathroom.
/Sinister creep

But seriously I am always interested in any habit that some people find shameful. That's why I added the 'ashamed option'.

I have got to the point where I need distraction for my dump - I'll happily play solitaire or something on my phone as well as read. I won't dump at work because all the bogs have just one door between them and the rest of the office and I like a comfortable, stress-free and isolated dump.

And I first encountered Cecil on the toilet. Found him on the bookshelf.
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  #41  
Old 10th November 2009, 02:22 PM
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I don't go out of my way to read in the loo, but have been known to take a book in with me if I'm already reading and simply can't put it down. That doesn't happen often.

I did encourage my kids to look at books while sitting when they were potty training because part of the battle is convincing a 2yr old with a short attention span that they should sit in one place until the job is done, especially when they're still getting a grip on what the job is.
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  #42  
Old 10th November 2009, 03:18 PM
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Anybody else ever sit on the can so long your legs fall asleep? People give me the weirdest looks when I come stumbling out of the bathroom.
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  #43  
Old 11th November 2009, 06:52 AM
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Anybody else ever sit on the can so long your legs fall asleep? People give me the weirdest looks when I come stumbling out of the bathroom.
I've had that happen a few times, except for the part about people giving me weird looks because it usually happens when I'm at home. One night I almost had to crawl back to my bed.
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  #44  
Old 10th November 2009, 04:44 PM
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I cant reads gud.

*kicks at dirt*

Shoot. Whoin wanta spent much time in da outhouse anyways.

*hikes up overalls*

Crazy city folk ana their indoor water closets.

*snort*
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  #45  
Old 10th November 2009, 06:49 PM
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I'm not opposed, but I rarely do it. When I lived with my brother he kept a book in there -- almost always of the type with short 1 or 2 page chapters, like a Dave Barry compilation, for example. Those are good. But as others have said, I get in, do my business and get out. I'm not in there long enough to need "in-flight" entertainment.
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  #46  
Old 10th November 2009, 10:35 PM
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I was given reading matter while being toilet-trained (yes, I do remember).

All my family had magazine racks within reach of the toilet, and tons of material. Reader's Digest was prominent, but there were also Time, Life, Look, Redbook, New Yorker, Jack & Jill.

These weren't just shelves that could have held towels. They were actual magazine racks, designed to be there, within reach.

Until I went to college I thought everybody had those.
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  #47  
Old 11th November 2009, 12:04 AM
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These weren't just shelves that could have held towels. They were actual magazine racks, designed to be there, within reach.
My housewarming present for my brother when he bought his house a few years ago was a magazine rack for the toilet.

My friend has copies of New Scientist in her bog. Very good toilet reading. I can always poop at her house.
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  #48  
Old 11th November 2009, 02:07 AM
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I voted no - doesn't take me long enough to read anything. Saying that, I have been doing a bit of sudoku in there recently because you can do that in short bursts, so maybe that should have been a yes...

No issues with other people reading in the toilet, although I do sometimes worry for people who spend 20 minutes taking a dump. That can't be a good sign.
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  #49  
Old 11th November 2009, 12:04 PM
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Originally Posted by Illuminati Primus View Post
I voted no - doesn't take me long enough to read anything. Saying that, I have been doing a bit of sudoku in there recently because you can do that in short bursts, so maybe that should have been a yes...

No issues with other people reading in the toilet, although I do sometimes worry for people who spend 20 minutes taking a dump. That can't be a good sign.

It doesn't take me 20 minutes to poop. It takes me a couple of minutes to poop and about 20 minutes to extricate myself from whatever I started reading while I was in there

This is why none of my "currently reading" novels are toilet books, because then I'd never leave.
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Old 11th November 2009, 12:23 PM
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InappropriateHumor InappropriateHumor is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zombies! View Post
...snip

This is why none of my "currently reading" novels are toilet books, because then I'd never leave.
Exactly!

For the squeamish among us, I assure you that before the clean-up phase begins the book is set aside, so we don't need to worry about cross contamination from the hands. The toilet lid is also closed so we don't need to be too concerned about the poo spray either.

For the record, I don't believe I would be copacetic with actually licking the bathroom book, but then again, I don't go around licking books anyway.
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Giraffiti
how does your poop, I pooped here, its a shitty thread, poop thread


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