33 1/3 snarkolutions per durper

[Someone]

Old thread here

[Someone]

Diarrhea.

[Someone]

Dick hard turd.

[Someone]

i hate this title

[Someone]

self-tooting of horn ensues.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

self-tooting of horn ensues.

The "horn" part of that just took him from "mixed up, kinda sad Doper person" to "full out total creep" in my book. Looky there--a baby can't rat on you if you molest it!

There's no emoticon that relates the disgust I feel for this POV.

[Someone]

Dopers 9-year-old child is anxious about school.

Theories instantly escalate to the kid being molested or even having a same-sex experimentation during his 3 days at overnight camp.

Granted, having been molested myself, I've had to talk myself down from some major freak outs when my kids are inexplicably upset, but I was surprised by the level of certainty there that this kid had been victimized.

[Someone]

because at the dope, it's always rape

my first thought upon reading that thread was bullying, but they seem to have ruled that out. i think it's a good possibility though.

sorry to hear that happened to you MissJeanLouise

[Someone]

Jaysus Haploid Christ but this thread title sux JohnClay's wife's balls.

[Someone]

Anyone else here ever finger JohnClay's wife? What exactly is down there?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

because at the dope, it's always rape

my first thought upon reading that thread was bullying, but they seem to have ruled that out. i think it's a good possibility though.

sorry to hear that happened to you MissJeanLouise

Thanks, sweetie. Ir's nice to have moved beyond the place where that defines me, you know?

Besides, it practically pales in comparison to that poor Doper child's homoerotic tale of love and shame:

That really screams "molestation" behavior to me, maybe with one of the counselors he suddenly wanted to be around. Or...do you suppose he may have had an exploratory, consensual same sex experience? I'm not talking molestation, or even penetration, but just a little kissing or petting with one of the other campers? And maybe he's feeling confused and embarrassed and scared of other boys his age right now? Could be why he sought out the counselors, and why time away from school seems to build his confidence, but then the thought of going back to school and seeing a boy he had an experience with or has a crush on is too much to bear? And he's afraid to tell you 'cause he isn't sure how you'll react?

(To her credit, WhyNot does later admit that maybe she's reaching a bit and it's, you know, anxiety or something that's causing the kid's behavior)

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Anyone else here ever finger JohnClay's wife? What exactly is down there?

An inflation nozzle.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Anyone else here ever finger JohnClay's wife? What exactly is down there?

No clit or labia apparently, so whoever in the last thread said she was a post op MtF seems to be right.

[Someone]

Yup, I bet this brand new poster asking about her 16 year old child (gender: unknown) dating its 26 year old cousin (gender: also unknown) is totally legit.

[Someone]

The Dopers are slipping. No one whined about the wall o' text until post 6.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Dopers 9-year-old child is anxious about school.

Theories instantly escalate to the kid being molested or even having a same-sex experimentation during his 3 days at overnight camp.

Why oh why don't these parents just take their kids to a pediatrician or a child psychologist or some other kind of professional childologist instead of asking a bunch of clowns who cannot resist the chance to project their own issues onto the kid???

I sure hate to think of what they'd have theorized about me between the ages of 7-12.

Granted, having been molested myself, I've had to talk myself down from some major freak outs when my kids are inexplicably upset, but I was surprised by the level of certainty there that this kid had been victimized.

{{{MJL}}}

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

No clit or labia apparently, so whoever in the last thread said she was a post op MtF seems to be right.

Does anybody believe John Clay?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Does anybody believe John Clay?

BTW, I not only believe John Clay, I believe in John Clay.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I sure hate to think of what they'd have theorized about me between the ages of 7-12.

Can I theorize about you now?

ps fenris i hate you forever for not picking the correct thread title boo die nao plz

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Can I theorize about you now?

ps fenris i hate you forever for not picking the correct thread title boo die nao plz

Only if I get to theorize about you back

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

BTW, I not only believe John Clay, I believe in John Clay.

My parents introduced me to John Clay when I was a young child. We couldn't afford Play-Doh.

[Someone]

jc is one messed up white boy!

smh

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

jc is one messed up white boy!

So's your mum.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Yup, I bet this brand new poster asking about her 16 year old child (gender: unknown) dating its 26 year old cousin (gender: also unknown) is totally legit.

You're so cynical, nonny101. What happened to you to make you so suspicious? Did your 26 year old cousin give you a mustache ride after clearing it with your mom? Because that happens and it's totally normal.

[Someone]

No, read again -- it's a friend's cousin. Doesn't make the whole thing any less hilarious, though.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

jc is one messed up white boy!

Thanks for spoiling The Bible for me. Now I'll never read it.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Thanks for spoiling The Bible for me. Now I'll never read it.

Typical Knob Fucca, assuming Jesus was white. Check your privilege!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Typical Knob Fucca, assuming Jesus was white. Check your privilege!

Yeah, Blob Dooky. Obviously FWS was referring to John Carter. And I can tell you, having read A Princess of Mars by Edgar Rice Burroughs, that he's right, too.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

What happened to you to make you so suspicious?

A man of southern asian descent, who was in a wheelchair, wanted to grill me about my thoughts on why he couldn't find a white woman wearing pajamas and DORRANCE #5X STAINLESS STEEL HOOKS. His initial offer of a handshake was so off-putting that I was forced to tell him, "Alright, you're done. You had your chance to not try to rape me with your friendly greeting, but now we're going to have to have a knife fight. Remember, you asked for this."

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

A man of southern asian descent, who was in a wheelchair, wanted to grill me about my thoughts on why he couldn't find a white woman wearing pajamas and DORRANCE #5X STAINLESS STEEL HOOKS. His initial offer of a handshake was so off-putting that I was forced to tell him, "Alright, you're done. You had your chance to not try to rape me with your friendly greeting, but now we're going to have to have a knife fight. Remember, you asked for this."

Oh, this old story. No matter how many times I hear it, it never stops being tragic. I commend you on your strength in moving on with your life.

[Someone]

EmilyG has another question about how to report something she doesn't like on the internet. This time she wants to be able to report signatures that bother her. Previous episodes of this weekly series have seen our sensitive heroine questioning the ability to report entire threads, whether it's ok for someone to be a big meanie in the Pit, and whether or not suspended users can still post (because someone did by gosh!).

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Typical Knob Fucca, assuming Jesus was white. Check your privilege!

I TOLD YOU I DIDN'T READ IT. NO SPOILERS!!!!

/senorqueef

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

EmilyG has another question about how to report something she doesn't like on the internet. This time she wants to be able to report signatures that bother her.

Another Doper irked by Shodan's sig?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Another Doper irked by Shodan's sig?

That's it. You're done.

Regards,

coolbyrne

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Thanks, sweetie. Ir's nice to have moved beyond the place where that defines me, you know?

{{MJL}}

Originally Posted by Someone

Besides, it practically pales in comparison to that poor Doper child's homoerotic tale of love and shame:

(To her credit, WhyNot does later admit that maybe she's reaching a bit and it's, you know, anxiety or something that's causing the kid's behavior)

.....yeah. i mean, i know kids experiment without really understanding what they're doing, but isn't 9 a bit young for that kind of experimenting? anxiety or bullying seem like more likely culprits. i'm probably being a durp and projecting my own experience, but bullying isn't always obvious to the adults. kids find new and creative ways to torment each other all the time.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

That's it. You're done.

Regards,

coolbyrne

[Someone]

The smartest and hippest, redux:

Are there racial problems in Australia? All I know about it is from the film The Gods Must be Crazy.

Link.

[Someone]

[Someone]

THEY DO SO HAVE RHINOCEROSES

[Someone]

JohnClay is on a roll. get it while it's hot.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

The smartest and hippest, redux:

Link.

I am often amazed by the basic ignorance about the world around them so many people have, and that is some Olympic level ignorance right there. Assuming "ignorance" were to become an Olympic event, that is.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

The smartest and hippest, redux:

Link.

The pervasive racism in Australia should be obvious to anyone who's seen Hotel Rwanda, The Emerald Forest, or "Crocodile" Dundee goes to Monte Carlo.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

JohnClay is on a roll. get it while it's hot.

From that thread:

Originally Posted by Someone

What is socially inappropriate depends on the person. For some people a lot of swearing is inappropriate. For some people talking about religion or politics is inappropriate. On "Sex and the City" they apparently talk explicitly about their sex lives....

That apparently justifies his decision to tell all about his marriage. Jeezus please us...

[Someone]

And he still doesn't get it....

WrongAnswer

For those who are too lazy to click links:

Originally Posted by Someone

I guess I could have said that I know she doesn't have a penis because I've "checked". (rather than saying how I checked).

We all know she doesn't have a penis, dude.

I thought Aspy's liked facts. This sounds more like magical thinking or outright delusion--who has to check their spouse's genitalia?

I'd say he's joking around, but JC doesn't joke. So, I'm going with stupid. Stupid works.

Originally Posted by Someone

That apparently justifies his decision to tell all about his marriage. Jeezus please us...

Not Jeezus; Mr Big!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

.....yeah. i mean, i know kids experiment without really understanding what they're doing, but isn't 9 a bit young for that kind of experimenting? anxiety or bullying seem like more likely culprits. i'm probably being a durp and projecting my own experience, but bullying isn't always obvious to the adults. kids find new and creative ways to torment each other all the time.

I know I'm the one who keeps harping on durper projection, but I mean it more regarding the ones who skip right over the most likely causes straight to "OMG he haz a ghey crush on his buddy and can't face him!!!" or "OMG he was paper towel tubed at camp by the couselor he hung out with!!!"

I actually agree with you that it's probably bullying or anxiety; I was bullied pretty badly through grades 5-7 and kids that age can be evil little shits. (eta) In fact, the OP's insistence that "it can't possibly be bullying because we'd know" is honestly grating on me more than any of the responses to the thread.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

We all know she doesn't have a penis, dude.

Whoa....I remain skeptical and would like proof!

[Someone]

Turn this thing off!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Another Doper irked by Shodan's sig?

Why, yes. Yes, I did see this before I posted that.

[Someone]

Jesus H Christ!

A new witnesser to cause raeg.

[Someone]

Ducati is upset about the Australian man who got shot in Oklahoma the other other day. Is it because of the senseless violence, or that it portrays Americans in a bad light? Nope, its cause the media isn't shouting out that 2 of the gunmen are black.

My first thought was I hope this isn't a revenge thing for Trayvon Martin. We're still having marches and rallies here in Georgia over this.

But I couldn't tell, because no news outlets described the kids other than their ages.
Oh, I bet CNN knows they're black, but doesn't want to start shit. Fox will tell me. Nope. Not ABC, NBC, or any other news outlet from Tulsa to Tampa. I found that odd. Not that I must know now.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=699975