Cooking tips for the UTTER MORON

[Dirx]

Ok, I started a thread similar to this a while back, and while there's definitely good advice in there, a lot of it was just about my stir-fry question. A current endeavor to make a simple strawberry pie* has prompted me to try this again, only to have the result be a compendium of advice that should be a complete no-brainer, but simply isn't to first-timers (and people like me who are used to following directions to the letter and flail about wildly when a step is assumed but not described).

Here's what I've learned so far:

• Issue: Pre-made pie crusts you get from the freezer section still need to be baked first. I did not know this, due to the fact that said instructions were on the underside of the label. Had I not flubbed up the chocolate step (see next item, below), I would have been trying to eat out of a raw, doughy crust. Yum.
  
  Solution: Bake the damn crust. About 15 minutes in the oven is all you should need. More on this in a bit...
  
  
  
• Issue: It's incredibly easy to burn chocolate when trying to melt it. After 15 seconds in the microwave (which I figured would be a decent amount of time), the chips looks solid still. Repeat for 30 seconds at a crack over 2.5 minutes, and suddenly the microwave is smoking and my apartment smells like burnt chocolate. Wonderful.
  
  Solution: 15-30 seconds in the microwave should be enough time for a small amount of chocolate chips. After 10-15 seconds, prod/stir with a fork--the chips are meltier on the inside than they look on the outside. Continue, in short intervals, until melted enough. [note: I haven't yet retried this step, so I can't speak for its veracity--this solution comes from my mother. I'll update it if need be when I get to it later this evening]
  
  
  
• Issue: The pie crust still needs to be in the damn pie pan when baking. Yes, I can practically hear the collective from all of you, but I did specify "utter moron" in the thread title. And hey, the baking instructions said to place it on a baking sheet. It didn't say anything about leaving it in the pan! Luckily, I caught the mistake within the first few seconds, so I didn't end up with a complete mess.
  
  Solution: Obvious. Leave the damn pie crust in the pan. I assume at this point that the purpose of the baking sheet is to keep the flimsy pan from getting burned on the oven rack? Idunno.

As of this moment, I just got the pie crust (take 2) out of the oven. It looks alright. After its cooled a bit, I'll attempt the chocolate. And, knowing me, maybe have another moron-tip to add.

In the meantime, what tips do the rest of you have? From your own early experiences of those of others. I know I have a few "duh" things I've learned before, but I'll post them later because I have to try and remember what they were. A lot of the information in the thread I linked to is good for novice cooks, but I'm more interested in stuff that's taken for granted even at that level. Where a cookbook will say "do X" (where X is on the order of boiling water or beating eggs, for example), and the brand-spankin' new cook-to-be says "what the hell is X??"



*Before you start, I'm using this recipe with modifications based on some of the comments, particularly the one about painting the crust with chocolate (that sounds awesome). I'm sure you have all kinds of recipes for different/better pies, but I think they'd be better suited for a separate thread. Feel free to start one, if you'd like. Heck, scratch that, I'll start one myself in just a sec.

[HongKongFooey]

Yes, yes, I know you, or at least several who cook like you. I guess I'm lucky because cooking has always come easy to me. But that doesn't mean I can't help you. Whenever someone I know goes off to university or out on their own for the first time and I know they haven't learned to cook well yet I always get them this book: Help! My Apartment Has a Kitchen. It's a wonderfully simple book. Really all you need is some practise and this book gives you the chance to nail down some basics so that it's easier to move on to the next level.

Aside from that I find it easier to answer specific questions as they come up rather than fire out random advice. For your pie crust you may find it helpful to prick the crust with a fork a few times (pokes holes in it with the tines of the fork) to keep it from bubbling up when it's pre-heated. Some crusts need to be weighted down to keep them from lifting. I just lay some aluminum foil in the crust and weigh it down with kidney beans if that's what's needed.

Seriously, get the book.

[Islander]

Oh, and the reason you place the pie plate on a baking sheet is that often a pie bubbles out and over while baking. It's just the nature of the beast. Scrubbing a cookie sheet is a LOT easier than cleaning an oven. If you have one, a cookie sheet with shallow edges is even better. No spills!

[HongKongFooey]

Yes, that reminds me, it's a good idea to lay some aluminum foil on the bottom of the oven underneath the burner for those occasions when you forget to put a baking sheet under it. It won't stop all the mess but it will cut down hugely on the clean-up required.

[Radical Edward]

The best and most important baking tip I have: hot glass looks exactly the same as cold glass.

I'm more of a cake person than a pie person, so I can't really help you with that. However, if you don't have a cookie sheet handy for catching drips, then move one of your oven racks to the very bottom and cover it with aluminum foil. When you're done baking, simply toss it and the spillage covering it in the trash. No pans to scrub, no nasty stuff smoking in the bottom of your oven.

Also, watch Alton Brown. He knows stuff.

[Dirx]

Originally Posted by Islander

Oh, and the reason you place the pie plate on a baking sheet is that often a pie bubbles out and over while baking. It's just the nature of the beast. Scrubbing a cookie sheet is a LOT easier than cleaning an oven. If you have one, a cookie sheet with shallow edges is even better. No spills!

Yes, I grabbed a sheet like that a couple weeks back for that exact reason. Luckily, it was preemptive, and not precipitated by a messy disaster (oddly enough, I have some forethought, just not enough in some circumstance ).

And HongKongFooey, that book sounds good, I think I will get it. I do have some cooking experience (I can do simple roasts and meatloaf and such pretty easily, now), but whenever I try something new, it's the simple basics that most people take for granted as second nature that end up throwing me.

And by "something new," I kinda mean that I've actually never baked a non-entree before. Not a single pastry, pie, or even cookies or brownies!


Also, an update: the tip on melting chocolate is confirmed. Works like a charm. So, a big ol' neener neener to my sister who told me I shouldn't use the microwave and should get a double-boiler instead.

[Veb]

Pies can be tricky to get done all the way through without the crust edges turning too brown. Fortunately that's really, really easy to prevent.

Tear off several very narrow strips of aluminum foil. Fold them over so they're wide enough to fold over the edges of the crust without dipping too much into the filling. It doesn't matter if they're too long and overlap but it's easier to just cut off any extra length. Basically you just make a little foil collar to fit over the crust edges if they start looking too brown.

You'll be able to tell; just turn on the oven light and pop open the oven door about halfway a few times during the baking time to see how the crust looks. If it's starting to look too brown and crispy, just take the pie out--cookie sheet and all--fold the foil collar over the crust edges then slide the whole shebang right back in the oven to finish baking. Voila!

You might not need the foil collar but it's sure easy enough to make, just in case. If you don't need it, all you're out is a couple of thin strips of foil. If you do need it, the trick can save your crust while allowing the filling to bake through and set well.

[HongKongFooey]

Originally Posted by Dirx

And by "something new," I kinda mean that I've actually never baked a non-entree before. Not a single pastry, pie, or even cookies or brownies!

FWIW, cooking and baking are different beasts. There are professional chefs, good ones, who struggle with baking. With cooking you can use your instincts more and it's much easier to fix mistakes. So don't be too hard on yourself if it takes a little longer to master pies or cakes or whichever.

Another tip for pies. The more you start to make recipes from scratch the more you'll learn the need to keep everything c-o-l-d. Some people have noted that piemakers tend to be naturally cold and cake and breadmakers have naturally warm hands. I don't know enough bakers to know if it's true but based on my experience I believe it.

[Amblydoper]

Tip #83 : If you are cooking with sugar, NEVER TOUCH THE SUGAR.

Sugar burns are about as nasty as it gets in the kitchen. The stuff sticks to your skin, and will be 300˚F to 375˚F. That's like sticking your finger in the deep fryer, and holding it there while you count to 10.

[ulfhjorr]

Here's a general tip:

Those flexible, plastic cutting "boards"...y'know, the ones that can wrap up into a little tube if you want, and make pouring your recently-chopped foods into a bowl or pan really easy and mess-free. They're great.

Just don't store them on top of the cupboards above your stove.

See, they aren't exactly the most slip-proof items in the world (seeing as the point is to slide your veggies off of them and all), and they may just slide right off your cabinets. On to your stove. Where you're heating a pot of soup. And melting/burning plastic smells bad. Really bad. And it's a bit of a pain to clean off your stovetop and burners. Especially when you're hungry. Because your soup is ruined.

[Radical Edward]

Here's one my ex and apparently his entire family can't grasp: preheating the oven really is important. Maybe not if you're just doing tv dinners, but if you're baking something that's supposed to be cooked frozen, you might screw yourself.

You know those graham cracker crusts they sell in stores? You don't have to bake those.

[bufftabby]

A meat thermometer is a handy dandy tool. You won't overcook meat, but you won't food poison yourself either.

[Dirx]

Originally Posted by ulfhjorr

Here's a general tip:

Those flexible, plastic cutting "boards"...y'know, the ones that can wrap up into a little tube if you want, and make pouring your recently-chopped foods into a bowl or pan really easy and mess-free. They're great.

Just don't store them on top of the cupboards above your stove.

See, they aren't exactly the most slip-proof items in the world (seeing as the point is to slide your veggies off of them and all), and they may just slide right off your cabinets. On to your stove. Where you're heating a pot of soup. And melting/burning plastic smells bad. Really bad. And it's a bit of a pain to clean off your stovetop and burners. Especially when you're hungry. Because your soup is ruined.

I totally second this tip. I've actually melted a cookbook. I left the damn thing on the stove while I had a meatloaf in the oven. I came back and the glue in the spine was melting and pages were falling out. Luckily, it was still gooey, so I put it all back together, stuck it on my coffee table mashed up between some other books to cool, and now it's (mostly) okay again.

[mlerose]

I have made a lot of pies in my time.

Tips for a new pie baker:
Yes, keep everything cold before you use it.
Chocolate melts more easily (whether you do it in a microwave or a double boiler) if you add a little bit of butter or other sort of shortening and this also keeps it from turning into hot chunkiness.
A strawberry pie is going to be really, really juicy. Also, it will be very sweet. You can temper the sweetness a little bit with lemon juice or balsamic vinegar mixed with the strawberries before baking them in the crust.
If you are making a two-crust pie, poke holes in the top crust with a fork to allow steam to escape while baking.

Other really basic baking tips:
Greasing/flouring a pan you're going to bake a cake in is a good idea. An even better idea is to use parchment paper in the bottom.
Baking powder and baking soda are not interchangeable in a recipe. Use the one (or both) it calls for.
Baking powder and soda are used to create rise and fluffiness in baked goods. When you are baking something that calls for one or both of these, it's a good idea to mix all the dry ingredients together and the wet ingredients together and then mix the two together just until combined, then bake immediately. If you overmix cake batter and/or let it sit a while before you bake it, the rise/fluffiness won't happen because the chemical reaction caused by the baking soda/powder and whatever acid is in your batter will occur before the baked good is in the oven and you'll end up with heavy cake.
Read your recipe carefully a couple of times before you start. If you think a cream puff recipe calls for 1/4 cup of salt, you are probably sadly mistaken. It more likely calls for 1/4 teaspoon of salt. Do not put 1/4 cup of salt into anything that is eventually supposed to taste sweet. (There is a story behind this one. No, I was not the one who did it.)
Sometimes you can substitute ingredients in a baking recipe or experiment by adding more or less of something, but it's a good idea to practice a lot before you try.
A quickbread recipe (like zucchini bread or pumpkin bread) can generally be used to make muffins, and vice versa.
Never, never put a glass pan in the oven empty, heat the oven, and then pour cold water into the glass pan. You will end up with an exploded glass pan.

[Pansy]

Originally Posted by mlerose

Baking powder and baking soda are not interchangeable in a recipe. Use the one (or both) it calls for.

On this note, Condensed milk is NOT the same as Evaporated milk. Repeat, NOT. Not for baking, not for cooking, not for making homemade kitten formula, not for anything. Read the recipe and the label carefully, and then read 'em again to be sure. Do it three times if you're trying to make clam chowder and pumpkin pie on the same day.

[Diana]

Originally Posted by Dirx

[*]Issue: The pie crust still needs to be in the damn pie pan when baking. Yes, I can practically hear the collective from all of you, but I did specify "utter moron" in the thread title. And hey, the baking instructions said to place it on a baking sheet. It didn't say anything about leaving it in the pan! Luckily, I caught the mistake within the first few seconds, so I didn't end up with a complete mess.

Solution: Obvious. Leave the damn pie crust in the pan. I assume at this point that the purpose of the baking sheet is to keep the flimsy pan from getting burned on the oven rack? Idunno.[/LIST]

Okay, that made me laugh out loud.

And for the record, everything I put in the oven goes in on a cookie sheet. It catches any spills, it's easier to pull in and out, and it cleans up in in 30 seconds... less, if you line it with foil. Why wouldn't you?

My only other tip is to get Mark Bittman's "How to Cook Everything", with the caveat that while it's invaluable for tips on the basics of food prep, and great for savory dishes, he probably can't help you with your strawberry pie. I've not been happy with a single dessert from that book.

[DogMom]

Originally Posted by Dirx

Also, an update: the tip on melting chocolate is confirmed. Works like a charm. So, a big ol' neener neener to my sister who told me I shouldn't use the microwave and should get a double-boiler instead.

I was about to post that yeah, that tip is absolutely correct. However, for melting chocolate I've discovered you can't beat a little teeny fondue-sized crock pot. Doesn't burn, works pretty quickly.

Double-boilers are overrated.

Tips for beginners: Saute is the same thing as "cook over medium heat in a fry pan". If it's a dry something that you're saute-ing, then use a little oil in with it to keep it from sticking. I can't tell you how many "cooking for kids" and "cooking for beginners" books I ran across that told me to "saute" something. WTF, what does that mean?
"It means Cook the hamburger till it's brown". Oh.

[BarbarianAtTheGate]

Originally Posted by bufftabby

A meat thermometer is a handy dandy tool. You won't overcook meat, but you won't food poison yourself either.

I have a question about this, maybe you can help me out. I went years without using a meat thermometer, and I was constantly overcooking meats because I'm paranoid about under-cooking and poisoning myself. I finally got tired of everything tasting like shoe leather, so I bought myself a meat thermometer. I used it a couple of times while grilling, and it worked great. But the last time I tried to use it, while baking lean, skinless turkey breasts in the oven, something went horribly wrong. I think the package directions said the meat should reach 160 degrees, so I kept checking it with the thermometer and it never got above 140 degrees. After a really loooong time, I finally said this is enough and took it out of the oven. It was worse than leather, more like bland turkey jerky. Any idea what I did wrong?

[Solfy]

Another chocolate melting tip: Water is the enemy! If you need to thin your chocolate, shortening or butter are good. Water, even a drop, will make the melted chocolate sieze up into a pile of hard, ugly lumps never to be smooth again.

I melt chocolate on the stovetop in a regular sauce pan, but I'm carefull about constant stirring and my sauce pans have really heavy bottoms so they don't tend to scorch things.

The secret to good pie crust, in addition to keeping it cold, is to handle it as little as possible. Particularly if you're making it from scratch.

[HongKongFooey]

Originally Posted by BarbarianAtTheGate

I have a question about this, maybe you can help me out. I went years without using a meat thermometer, and I was constantly overcooking meats because I'm paranoid about under-cooking and poisoning myself. I finally got tired of everything tasting like shoe leather, so I bought myself a meat thermometer. I used it a couple of times while grilling, and it worked great. But the last time I tried to use it, while baking lean, skinless turkey breasts in the oven, something went horribly wrong. I think the package directions said the meat should reach 160 degrees, so I kept checking it with the thermometer and it never got above 140 degrees. After a really loooong time, I finally said this is enough and took it out of the oven. It was worse than leather, more like bland turkey jerky. Any idea what I did wrong?

The sensing element in those thermometers is a bi-metallic coil attached to a spring at one end. If you overheat them it can lose it's 'zero' position and read incorrectly. Possibly that's what happened.

You may know this already but you can usually remove your meat from the heat a bit early. Cover it with foil and the heat will keep rising a few degrees while resting. Resting allows the juice in the meat to redistribute, it's very important.

[Rebo]

Wash your fruits and veggies with plain water, then dry them thoroughly when you bring them home from the store. Then you won't have gnats! An exterminator friend told me this. It seems the gnats lay eggs on the outside of the fruit.

[BarbarianAtTheGate]

Originally Posted by HongKongFooey

The sensing element in those thermometers is a bi-metallic coil attached to a spring at one end. If you overheat them it can lose it's 'zero' position and read incorrectly. Possibly that's what happened.

You may know this already but you can usually remove your meat from the heat a bit early. Cover it with foil and the heat will keep rising a few degrees while resting. Resting allows the juice in the meat to redistribute, it's very important.

Thanks, HKF. I'm not sure how I could have overheated the thermometer, but perhaps I did somehow. Basically, I just removed the pan (glass baking dish, actually) from the oven, stuck the thermometer into the center of the meat, and tapped my foot for a few seconds (maybe 30?) waiting for it to reach that magical 160 degrees. It never got there.

On the other hand, maybe I was overzealous and stuck the thermometer all the way through the meat so it was touching the bottom of the glass dish. Maybe that would overheat it as you suggest.

Understand about letting the meat rest a bit to redistribute the heat (I do it all the time with ham), but wouldn't you want it to reach the full recommended temperature before you bring it out to set?

[HongKongFooey]

It might overheat touching the dish. That's one of the items I spend a few extra dollars on (now that I've ruined a few). The cheaper ones aren't connected very solidly. Yes I am enough of a nerd that I took one apart. ::hangs head in mock shame::

[Rebo]

Originally Posted by BarbarianAtTheGate

Understand about letting the meat rest a bit to redistribute the heat (I do it all the time with ham), but wouldn't you want it to reach the full recommended temperature before you bring it out to set?

No, because it could rise another 5 degrees, and it would be overdone. The recommended temps on the little thermometer are a little high anyway.

[bufftabby]

You may also just need to recalibrate your thermometer, Barbarian. You do this by filling a glass with half ice and half water. Put the thermometer in for two minutes. If it's not at 32F/0C, use needle-nose pliers to turn the nut underneath the dial. Do not twist the dial itself, be sure to use the nut.

Otherwise, you may just need a better thermometer! My personal preference is not to leave it in the meat (I've never used one of those pop-up turkey button things), but to just test it when I think it might be done.

[dactylic hexameter]

Another baking tip: Until you are a competent baker, DO NOT F*CK WITH RECIPES. Baking is more like chemistry than cooking. In cooking, you can do a lot of fudging and substitutions. If you are baking a cake, and you say "Well, I don't have a full cup of milk, so I'll use half a cup of milk and half a cup of water, and I'm out of all purpose flour, so I'll combine pastry flour and bread flour" you are guaranteeing failure. At some point, you will know enough to make judicious substitutions, but you probably aren't there yet. The ratios of liquid:solid:fat are particularly important not to mess with.

[BarbarianAtTheGate]

Originally Posted by bufftabby

You may also just need to recalibrate your thermometer, Barbarian. You do this by filling a glass with half ice and half water. Put the thermometer in for two minutes. If it's not at 32F/0C, use needle-nose pliers to turn the nut underneath the dial. Do not twist the dial itself, be sure to use the nut.

Otherwise, you may just need a better thermometer! My personal preference is not to leave it in the meat (I've never used one of those pop-up turkey button things), but to just test it when I think it might be done.

Damn! I went to do this, and...no thermometer. It's already packed (I'm moving soon). I'll bookmark this thread, and do this as soon as I get moved and find the thermometer. Thanks for the tip!

[DogMom]

Originally Posted by dactylic hexameter

Another baking tip: Until you are a competent baker, DO NOT F*CK WITH RECIPES. Baking is more like chemistry than cooking. In cooking, you can do a lot of fudging and substitutions. If you are baking a cake, and you say "Well, I don't have a full cup of milk, so I'll use half a cup of milk and half a cup of water, and I'm out of all purpose flour, so I'll combine pastry flour and bread flour" you are guaranteeing failure. At some point, you will know enough to make judicious substitutions, but you probably aren't there yet. The ratios of liquid:solid:fat are particularly important not to mess with.

QFT!!!! Only Trained Professionals should mess with ratios, especially.

Although if you want to make lower-fat recipes, you can make a one-for-one substitution of applesauce for oil in many baking recipes*.

You can NOT make this substitution if the recipe calls for a "solid" fat such as butter or shortening.

*And, you can't do it if you're making something like an "oil crust" (basically oil & flour to make a pie crust).

I do tend to think of cooking, especially baking, more as an ART than a SCIENCE anyway. Especially when it comes to substitutions. For beginners, follow the recipe and you should be OK.

[Khampelf]

Two very general tips for novices in the kitchen.

1) There are other burner setting than 'high'. Faster is not always better.

2) Sprinkling a little water or milk over leftovers when reheating works wonders.

[DogMom]

Oh yes...one my dad learned....

3) Cooking is not a general mathematical progression. You cannot cook something twice as fast by changing the oven heat from 350 to 500.

[SmartAleq]

Regarding cookie sheets and pies--yes, they are great for catching the nasty little overflows that most pies will make. As a matter of fact, a berry pie really isn't done until it's giving up some liquid around the top crust. Pies that start out liquid, however, such as pumpkin or sweet potato, are not good candidates to place directly ON the cookie sheet and it's better to place the cookie sheet on the rack below the pie. Why? Because when cookie sheets get hot they quite often go SPROING! and warp themselves up diagonally at two corners, then later on when the heat is equalized they lay down flat again. In the meantime, the liquid custard in your pie is all over the goddamned place and burning briskly, and it's quite likely that the crust got torn as well. This sucks. Use heavy duty foil underneath, or don't set the pie directly on the cookie sheet.

[blank]

Anyone need tips on how to temper chocolate?

[Dirx]

How about: What does "temper chocolate" mean?

[takowasakun]

Tempering chocolate is the process used in chocolate-working (and chocolate production) to ensure the right kinds of crystals form in the chocolate to give it the right gloss and firmness.

It mostly involves melting and cooling the chocolate at specific temperatures, as the temperature in which chocolate cools and solidifies has an effect on its appearance and strength. Chocolate cooled at temperatures that are too low (ie, allowed to cool naturally) is generally dull and brittle, while chocolate cooled at temperatures that are higher (generally just below the melting point) has a glossy appearance and is stronger, breaking with a satisfying 'snap', rather than merely cracking and crumbling apart. It will also keep in storage longer than poorly cooled chocolate.

I don't really eat (let alone cook with) that much chocolate, so I don't really care enough to learn all the nitty-gritty details. Maybe blank could fill you in if you're interested.

[Fish]

Originally Posted by DogMom

3) Cooking is not a general mathematical progression. You cannot cook something twice as fast by changing the oven heat from 350 to 500.

Actually ... it does cook twice as fast. That's the problem.

There's radiant heat — heat that moves across open space — like a barbecue grill or the coals of a campfire. Heat radiates out in all directions from the source. The closer the food is to the source, the more heat it's exposed to.

Then there's conductive heat — heat that moves through a solid — like a hot frying pan. Heat gradually permeates the object, moving from the source (your stovetop burner) into the object (your frying pan) and into the food's surface. From there, it conducts through the food, from the surface, until it reaches the center.

Then there's convective heat — heat that moves through a fluid, such as oil, water or air. The fluid gets hottest where it is nearest to the source; the hot fluid rises and cooler fluid takes its place, to be heated in turn. As the hot fluid rises it discharges its heat into the food, into the air, wherever it can go.

But here's the tricky bit, and the Cooking Tip For The Complete Moron: these methods scale up at different speeds. Conduction, particularly, will vary in the time to completion based upon which solid medium is conducting the heat: glass, ceramic, iron, copper, aluminum, meat, whatever.

Stick a turkey on a metal rack inside a roasting pan, and cram it into the oven. What kind of heat is operating here? There's some radiant heat; the walls of the oven are hot, and the pan itself is heated by the element and, in turn, radiates its heat away. There's some conductive heat from where the turkey touches the metal rack, but not much. Mostly it's being cooked by two forces: the convection of the hot air moving around inside the oven, and conduction from the hot, convection-cooked surface of the turkey to the inside.

Since turkey, like the human body, is probably 70% water, that center of the turkey will take as long to heat up as an equivalently-sized pot of water. In other words, a long time.

Convection is very efficient. It will quickly heat up the outside of the turkey and make it look done. But conduction is slower, especially through water.

Cooking, therefore, is all about the management of heat over time. You want to find a temperature that's hot enough to kill bacteria, cool enough to allow the heat to penetrate to the center of the food without burning the surface, hot enough to give the surface a nice sear (the brown cripsy bits are the flavorful bits), and you want to know exactly when it's done so you don't overcook it.

There's a reason your oven has different temperature settings.

[Marlitharn]

Something my sister didn't discover until cooking her first Thanksgiving dinner: Poultry from the grocery store generally has a bag of giblets shoved up its butt. Some brands also include a little foil pouch of gravy under the skin of the neck. Sometimes the gravy will be in the butt and the giblets will be in the neck. Remove before cooking. And don't bother heating up the gravy in the pouch, it's gross. Make your own.

To drain hamburger grease, line a small bowl with a folded paper towel. Pour the hamburger grease in and set aside. After it cools it'll get hard, and you can just lift the paper towel with its hardened little hockey puck of grease and throw it away.

[blank]

Originally Posted by Marlitharn

Something my sister didn't discover until cooking her first Thanksgiving dinner: Poultry from the grocery store generally has a bag of giblets shoved up its butt. Some brands also include a little foil pouch of gravy under the skin of the neck. Sometimes the gravy will be in the butt and the giblets will be in the neck. Remove before cooking. And don't bother heating up the gravy in the pouch, it's gross. Make your own.

With the giblets. You won't get better gravy and it's why you should always buy poultry with giblets supplied.

[ulfhjorr]

Originally Posted by Marlitharn

Something my sister didn't discover until cooking her first Thanksgiving dinner: Poultry from the grocery store generally has a bag of giblets shoved up its butt. Some brands also include a little foil pouch of gravy under the skin of the neck. Sometimes the gravy will be in the butt and the giblets will be in the neck. Remove before cooking. And don't bother heating up the gravy in the pouch, it's gross. Make your own.

But, don't do what my sis-in-law did the first time she made Thanksgiving dinner for the family...make giblet gravy without removing the giblets from the plastic bag they came in. It was, as they say, just a little off...

[JustAnotherGeek]

Re: melting chocolate

I actually never use a double boiler unless I am adding water to the melted mixture. A bit of water (even from steam) can seize the whole thing, but a lot of it is fine. As for thinning or making chocolate softer after melting, I add canola oil.

For instance: Smores Bars

Use the Rice Krispie Treat recipe, but substitute Golden Grahams.
Once they're in their final pan, melt one 12oz bag of chocolate chips in the microwave with about 2 tsp of canola oil. (Using exactly the method outlined in the OP). Drizzle / spread on top of the graham treats for Smore Bars. Let them cool, cut and eat.

[DogMom]

Originally Posted by Marlitharn

To drain hamburger grease, line a small bowl with a folded paper towel. Pour the hamburger grease in and set aside. After it cools it'll get hard, and you can just lift the paper towel with its hardened little hockey puck of grease and throw it away.

EXCELLENT idea. That'll save me from having to look for an empty can all the damn time. Thanks!

[DogMom]

Originally Posted by Fish

Actually ... it does cook twice as fast. That's the problem.

<snippage of some very excellent sciency cooking stuff>
Cooking, therefore, is all about the management of heat over time. You want to find a temperature that's hot enough to kill bacteria, cool enough to allow the heat to penetrate to the center of the food without burning the surface, hot enough to give the surface a nice sear (the brown cripsy bits are the flavorful bits), and you want to know exactly when it's done so you don't overcook it.

There's a reason your oven has different temperature settings.

Yeah, but it's not really cooking the meat twice as fast so much as it is "turning the outside into burnt yuck while simultaneously leaving the inside raw".

It sure did heat up the outside fast, but I wouldn't say by any stretch of the imagination that the stuff was cooked.

As you say - there's a reason for all them different settings.

[Fish]

Originally Posted by DogMom

Yeah, but it's not really cooking the meat twice as fast so much as it is "turning the outside into burnt yuck while simultaneously leaving the inside raw".

Exactly. If I wanted to be persnickety, I could say "it's heating twice as fast, it's just not becoming done twice as fast."

[DogMom]

Originally Posted by Fish

Exactly. If I wanted to be persnickety, I could say "it's heating twice as fast, it's just not becoming done twice as fast."

precisely.

[Pamplemousse!]

Trust me: I learned this the hard way.

If you run out of one dry ingredient (flour) and your mix is too soggy, do not attempt to substitute with another random dry ingredient (custard powder).

It won't work, and if you're doing microwave cooking you will cause your microwave to blow up in a shower of sparks and some truly unforgiving dense black smoke.

[Radical Edward]

Speaking of exploding microwaves, don't ever microwave eggs. A shift leader at an old job blew up a commercial microwave by putting eggs in it. There was a big POW! that could be heard all the way out in the parking lot, sparks, smoke, the whole deal. From eggs. Ironically there was a sticker on the front of the machine that said DO NOT MICROWAVE EGGS, and even more ironically, it was that particular shift leader who had put the sticker there when the store opened.

Yes, I know it can be done safely. But if you don't know exactly what you're doing, just don't.

[Fish]

Here's some other cooking tips.

When you're cooking pasta or rice, salt the water. You could even put a tiny bit of oil into the water, but it won't do jack for the flavor — all the oil does is help to keep foaming to a minimum, as the food releases starch into the water.

Searing the outside of a piece of meat does not seal in juices. Seriously. The math here is simple: anything over 100C (212F) causes water to evaporate, period. A good sear on the outside of a piece of meat does nothing to retain fluids, because the heat (and steam, and expanding water) ruptures the cells of the muscle tissue. What searing does do is produce flavor. Those brown crunchy bits you get when you sear or grill? That's where the strong, tasty flavor is.

If you work with whole peppers or chiles, wear gloves. If you don't wear gloves, fer gosh sakes, don't rub your eyes, lips, or anything else that's soft and pink.

[Solfy]

Originally Posted by Fish

Here's some other cooking tips.

When you're cooking pasta or rice, salt the water. You could even put a tiny bit of oil into the water, but it won't do jack for the flavor — all the oil does is help to keep foaming to a minimum, as the food releases starch into the water.

I will add a bit of info since this is a pet peeve of mine. The salt you're adding? It's for flavor. It does nothing appreciable to the boiling point of the water / cooking rate of the rice/pasta. I don't care what your gramma told you.

[HongKongFooey]

True but it should be pointed out (given the intended audience of the thread) that vegetables and eggs require salt in the water. For eggs it promotes denaturing of the proteins. The proteins unwind and join together, trapping water between them. The Journal of Food Science found some vegetables do cook faster with salted water. More importantly, the salted water changes the osmotic balance (I think that's the correct term) allowing fewer of the veggies' dissolved substances to pass through the cell walls and into the cooking water. It's still just for flavour but it's good to know why it makes such a difference. Harold McGee, a respected food scientist, has written about this; I'll try to dig up a link.

[Fish]

Don't put water in the microwave. If you really want to put a cup of water in the microwave, insert a wooden toothpick, or a popsicle stick, or something similar, to give the boiling water a surface on which to bubble and boil.

Don't crack eggs on the edge of the bowl. That just makes it easier to get pieces of shell inside the egg. Crack them on a flat surface instead.

If the recipe says to do something in a particular order, don't try to outsmart it and rearrange the sequence or combine steps unless you know what you're doing. For instance, if the recipe says to mix the sugar and butter together first (commonly called the creaming method), then do that. If the recipe says the fats should be chilled before blending it into the dough, then do that. It does make a difference.

[Dirx]

These are all excellent tips! Exactly the sorts of things I was looking for, and a lot of stuff that you don't normally find in your average cookbook