expectopatronum "I couldn't think of a good title and I feared judgment if I fucked it up." aka DurpSnark 85

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

And the first reply is from jtur88, who drinks unpasteurized camel's milk. Because of course he does.

Oh sure, there's a big unpasteurized camel milk sale on at the grocery right now. They got a whole aisle of different brands and flavors. Can't walk ten feet without tripping over a stack of unpasteurized camel milk.

[Someone]

Has dropzone always been this incomprehensible, or have I just not noticed?

Boss came over at 4:00. I knew why.
My sales were less than 1/4 where they should be. Before she went into my prospects for Friday I offered my boss in sacrifice. Some of those kids are more fucked up than me. Others haven't dragged their sorry butts thru the last few decades of their lives. I just extended my existence eastward. Plant corner where, roughly?

I'm just happy wife's warm, but daughter and I are more likely to give her pneumonia than the formular thing.

Five explanatory posts later, it's finally understandable.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=826586

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Has dropzone always been this incomprehensible, or have I just not noticed?

Five explanatory posts later, it's finally understandable.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=826586

He's a drunk. He gets pissed, starts/pops into random threads and spouts incoherently.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

He's a drunk. He gets pissed, starts/pops into random threads and spouts incoherently.

That whole exchange just reminds me of:

http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/...44/247/297.png

[Someone]

In the pit thread about the death of Roger Aisles dropzone says

Originally Posted by Someone

Actually, no. A pun requires an adaptive approach to language. My dogs know what "out" means. They haven't figured out, yet, what "O-U-T" means, much less anything abstract. Trilby managed a clue, but the others have always been Dumb, Like a Dog. None of them could manage a pun, but they had a deep understanding of slapstick.

ETA: Especially anything involving Human Alpha Male.

[Someone]

I would help if she mentioned what her culture is.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I would help if she mentioned what her culture is.

Nordic, I believe. (Which is why her user name starts with "N.")

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Nordic, I believe. (Which is why her user name starts with "N.")

Upon which you will snark on her for mentioning her country of residence.

Poor woman can't win.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Upon which you will snark on her for mentioning her country of residence.

Poor woman can't win.

The only winning move is not to play.

[Someone]

Did Thelmalou even actually love Spouse? Not to diss on her since Spouse passed but this post is pretty cryptic.

In a thread titles, "If your life was a movie what would it be about." And Spouses' spouse says:

Looking for love in all the wrong places and ending up alone.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...8&postcount=12

[Someone]

Are you mixing ThelmaLou up with Broomstick?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Are you mixing ThelmaLou up with Broomstick?

Yes. I'm not wearing socks.


Aceplace! Master Gun Man Extraordinaire!

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=826603

[Someone]

BigTard. Not a lecture, but incredibly stupid.

This is one where my policy of "sympathy costs little" is tested. I choose it out of duty so I don't become a monster, not for his sake.

If you are doing it out of duty, rather than sincere feeling, it ain't 'sympathy'. What an insufferable moralistic tard.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Did Thelmalou even actually love Spouse? Not to diss on her since Spouse passed but this post is pretty cryptic.

In a thread titles, "If your life was a movie what would it be about." And Spouses' spouse says:

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...8&postcount=12

You skipped over jturd's contribution in the same thread.

Originally Posted by Someone

Opening scene, guy with a duffel shoulder bag walks into a cheap third world hotel looking for a room that is good enough, barely. He has a woman with him. The room is good enough for her, too. When they run out of money, they go back to Canada or the US to buy an old beater car and work for a while and dumpster dive. They could be played by the Dreyfuses -- Richard and Julia Louis.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...1&postcount=17

[Someone]

Did they cornfield that thread? I'm getting an error.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

...

You may have noticed I'm not too smart.

Originally Posted by Someone

Did they cornfield that thread? I'm getting an error.

Yeah they did.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Did Thelmalou even actually love Spouse? Not to diss on her since Spouse passed but this post is pretty cryptic.

IIRC, she's complained before about not being able to find a boyfriend since losing her husband.

Originally Posted by Someone

Did they cornfield that thread? I'm getting an error.

Evidently they did. Anybody know what happened? I found a Google cache of the thread, but I'm not seeing any problem there.

[Someone]

Did ThelmaLou recently lose a husband as well? That post doesn't make it sound that way. i thought pickle berry was confusing ThelmaLou with Broomstick, now I'm confused.

[Someone]

I believe she's a widow but that her husband died a while ago.

ETA And as for the cornfielded thread, there was talk in the omnibus troll thread that RubenQ was a returning sock.

ETAA Looks like the rest of Ruben's threads got cornfielded as well.

[Someone]

Did Donald Trump kill him? Because that would explain a lot.

[Someone]

Jturd helpfully shares complete nonesense about icebergs:

Maybe they are making a reference to "dry ice", frozen carbon dioxide, which when melted leaves no water at all. It a significant component of icebergs is trapped pockets of frozen carbon dioxide, then there would be reduced water resulting from the melting of a specific quantity of ice.

Responds Colibri

There is no dry ice in icebergs. Carbon dioxide freezes at −109.3 °F (−78.5 °C). While colder temperatures have been recorded on the central plateau in Antarctica, an iceberg floating in seawater would be equilibrating to the temperature of the water, far far warmer than that.

Why he doesn't Note Jturd for constant nonsense replies in GQ (as a sort of Handy-Senior)...

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Did Donald Trump kill him? Because that would explain a lot.

No, of course Trump didn't kill him. The Don has people for that.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I believe she's a widow but that her husband died a while ago.

ETA And as for the cornfielded thread, there was talk in the omnibus troll thread that RubenQ was a returning sock.

ETAA Looks like the rest of Ruben's threads got cornfielded as well.

Probably a sock of Hbk4894 for those who can't see profiles due to not being logged in. He was another one who started threads only to abandon them.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Jturd helpfully shares complete nonesense about icebergs:

Responds Colibri

Why he doesn't Note Jturd for constant nonsense replies in GQ (as a sort of Handy-Senior)...

Cochrane helpfully shares the links.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...17&postcount=8

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...8&postcount=10

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Evidently they did. Anybody know what happened? I found a Google cache of the thread, but I'm not seeing any problem there.

OP was a sock. He got banned before for doing the same thing. Start threads asking questions like that but never returning to the thread. I can't remember the name, now, but when I googled it before, he did the same thing at a lot of other boards, too. And had a dick-pic on Instagram.

ETA: Ninja'd by Ratty!

ETAA:

Originally Posted by Someone

Probably a sock of Hbk4894 for those who can't see profiles due to not being logged in. He was another one who started threads only to abandon them.

Yeah, that was the name. Google it if you want to see his dick.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Has dropzone always been this incomprehensible, or have I just not noticed?

Dropzone's okay by me, but the comprehensibility of his posts do go off the rails from time to time, sometimes venturing into the "we wore onions on our belts" type of bizarre asides/anecdotes. It's not unusual.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Dropzone's okay by me, but the comprehensibility of his posts do go off the rails from time to time, sometimes venturing into the "we wore onions on our belts" type of bizarre asides/anecdotes. It's not unusual.

The thing that annoys me about Dropzone's posts are that in a post or thread there's an inkling of lucidity / or cohesive thought, and it always makes me want to try to parse what he's saying. After about the third read-through or so, I remember that it's Chinatown, and just to stop trying.

But, in my mind, I'm still trying to understand what he was trying to say.

As Lewis Black said, "It it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college."

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Cochrane helpfully shares the links.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...17&postcount=8

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...8&postcount=10

I swear I thought I have put the damned links in....

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

OP was a sock. He got banned before for doing the same thing. Start threads asking questions like that but never returning to the thread. I can't remember the name, now, but when I googled it before, he did the same thing at a lot of other boards, too. And had a dick-pic on Instagram.

ETA: Ninja'd by Ratty!

ETAA:

Yeah, that was the name. Google it if you want to see his dick.

I'm sure it looks like an average dick...








...just a whole lot smaller.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

The thing that annoys me about Dropzone's posts are that in a post or thread there's an inkling of lucidity / or cohesive thought, and it always makes me want to try to parse what he's saying. After about the third read-through or so, I remember that it's Chinatown, and just to stop trying.

But, in my mind, I'm still trying to understand what he was trying to say.

As Lewis Black said, "It it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college."

Exactly. That post started out fine. Then, halfway through the second sentence. it goes grammatically Escher-esque. So I keep trying, but it just won't parse. I see the words, I understand the words, but there's no meaning and I start thinking I'm nuts.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Exactly. That post started out fine. Then, halfway through the second sentence. it goes grammatically Escher-esque. So I keep trying, but it just won't parse. I see the words, I understand the words, but there's no meaning and I start thinking I'm nuts.

The only other poster this happens to me with is Nava, but in a slightly different manner. I think she's completely lucid, but there must be something weird that happens in the translation from Spanish to English when she ventures into anecdote or humor that makes it difficult for me to parse just what the hell is going on.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Exactly. That post started out fine. Then, halfway through the second sentence. it goes grammatically Escher-esque. So I keep trying, but it just won't parse. I see the words, I understand the words, but there's no meaning and I start thinking I'm nuts.

His more exasperating posts seem like the product of drunkenly trying too hard to be clever and a misconception (or intentional disregard) of how much additional information we would need about his day-to-day life and inner dialogue to actually understand all of the asides and in-jokes and boozy epigrams. That said, if I were an unemployed telemarketer I'd be pretty fucking drunk right now too.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

That said, if I were an unemployed telemarketer I'd be pretty fucking drunk right now too.

Thing is, I'm not even entirely sure he got laid off or not. I think he's trying to say he basically offered up a shift, so he went home a day without pay, but it is really hard to follow.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

The only other poster this happens to me with is Nava, but in a slightly different manner. I think she's completely lucid, but there must be something weird that happens in the translation from Spanish to English when she ventures into anecdote or humor that makes it difficult for me to parse just what the hell is going on.

Me too. He English is excellent but I just can't seem to get through one of her posts. I don't bother anymore. I've been scrolling through them for years.

[Someone]

Oh, good, it's not just me (this time.) the first couple sentences are fine, where she answers the question or makes a relevant point, but then she wanders off into some rambling anecdote that reads like it was run through Babelfish one time too many.

And yes, I do realize the irony of me criticizing someone else for launching into rambling anecdotes too often

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Aceplace! Master Gun Man Extraordinaire!

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=826603

Let's pause a moment and let this sink in: Acey, whose sheer dumbfuckery is legendary on the Dope, has a license to carry a gun.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

That said, if I were an unemployed telemarketer I'd be pretty fucking drunk right now too.

FTFY

[Someone]

"Anybody got any clever jokes?"

Needless to say, the 'clever' part eludes them.

[Someone]

Noob resurrects a JohnClay zombie thread.

Someone replies:

We're not supposed to speak of The Banned, but seriously, I never could tell if JohnClay was an AI bot or a real person.

[Someone]

In the Pit thread about Antony Weiner, BigTard thinks that this bit of oversharing is relevant:

Originally Posted by Someone

I at least don't really want random women sending me pictures of just their vagina, either. A nude pic? Sure. But just the vagina? That's kinda too far.

Am I unusual in this? I already know I'm unusual in not liking to see penises in my porn, and not liking it when they zoom in on just the genitals. I want to see the person and reactions, while also seeing what they are doing.

To me, it would make a whole lot more sense if guys just sent risque pics, showing off their physique. That would be analogous to what I might find fun from a random lady.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...3&postcount=64

[Someone]

Slobs reveal themselves.

[Someone]

Not snark, I find these cases both puzzling and amusing.
zzupdown started a thread today and posted once in another thread.

Only other post was on his/her join date: 3-29-2001.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Slobs reveal themselves.

Reading that thread, I noticed that there was one post in a purple font. I've never noticed that particular Doper (Allthegood) before, so I quickly clicked "Find all posts by Allthegood," and yes, THEY'RE ALL IN PURPLE!

How has this escaped notice? It seems like only yesterday that the Dope was in an uproar over Miss Spaulding posting in green.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Not snark, I find these cases both puzzling and amusing.
zzupdown started a thread today and posted once in another thread.

Only other post was on his/her join date: 3-29-2001.

He started a duplicate thread about an hour later.

[Someone]

BigT sums himself up:

Originally Posted by Someone

I don't get it...I don't understand this

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...0&postcount=35

[Someone]

He probably doesn't realize that unlike pop, they don't do free refills on beer.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Not snark, I find these cases both puzzling and amusing.

Probably someone who signs up to post a comment, forgets they did, wants to comment years later, tries to sign up with the same user name, finds it 'in use' so they try their 'used for everything' password on it, and it works. If you want to hack someone's account, those are the type of people who use 'password'. Maybe I'll try it...

Originally Posted by Someone

Reading that thread, I noticed that there was one post in a purple font. I've never noticed that particular Doper (Allthegood) before, so I quickly clicked "Find all posts by Allthegood," and yes, THEY'RE ALL IN PURPLE!

How has this escaped notice? It seems like only yesterday that the Dope was in an uproar over Miss Spaulding posting in green.

How frequently do they post? She posted multiple times a day for weeks which attracted attention. If Allthegood hardly ever posts it won't attract enough annoyance on any one post to get bitched about. Besides, she used a more annoying color.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Probably someone who signs up to post a comment, forgets they did, wants to comment years later, tries to sign up with the same user name, finds it 'in use' so they try their 'used for everything' password on it, and it works. If you want to hack someone's account, those are the type of people who use 'password'. Maybe I'll try it...

How frequently do they post? She posted multiple times a day for weeks which attracted attention. If Allthegood hardly ever posts it won't attract enough annoyance on any one post to get bitched about. Besides, she used a more annoying color.

About one or twice a month, not often enough to catch anyone's attention.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

In the Pit thread about Antony Weiner, BigTard thinks that this bit of oversharing is relevant:

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...3&postcount=64

Oh God! For some reason, the mental image that just popped up was Fat Nerd Guy in a dark basement lit only by a badly synced CRT monitor and wearing a ratty, Cheeto-stained t-shirt peering intently at a porn video.

Thanks, I'll do something nice for you someday.

[Someone]

The T shirt has eyes????