122: Baby Snark Durp Durp Durp Dee Durp

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I thought he was Indian?

He's of Indian descent, and may have been born in India, but his location field literally says "U.S.A."

He's the guy who said (paraphrasing) "I can wear anything I want to someone's wedding regardless of how formal it is, they should just be overwhelmed with gratitude that I deigned to grace them with my presence."

[Someone]

Guess The Poster (beginners level):

Originally Posted by Someone

I enjoy doing it, the thread games are fun, I learn new things, it kills time, I have to go to the library to do it so it get me out of the house, the typing helps my bad hand,

Why do you post on the Straight Dope Message Board? post #13

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Obviously you don't. IPA is it's own representational system - not really different than writing in Cyrillic or whatever, Alessan is right in terms of internal consistency in terms of Dope rules.

By that logic, dictionary respelling schemes are just as foreign, which would mean we couldn't discuss pronunciation at all unless you're going to try to shepherd Dopers through making, uploading, and linking to sound recordings, not to mention a willingness to listen to the voices of various Dopers.

Since your average person has zero willingness to learn IPA - hell even your average educated person - it's not ever going to fly in those threads.

You obviously travel in different circles than I do.

Heck, if you read the thread I linked to, as opposed to just the posts I quoted, you'd see that the two yahoos I singled out were in the minority on the whole IPA thing.

[Someone]

Aw, nutbunnies, I jinxed it when I mentioned Skald. He's back. (oh, yeah, and blind)

[Someone]

A single sentence from a post by our mystery guest. One line should be enough.

So much of what we humans consider "ethical" is actually tied to our biology. An alien species could work a completely different way and consider something we consider abhorrent to be ethical:

I know, this one was too easy.

https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...3&postcount=14

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I like it.

Colibri is now claiming that the reason Scumpup wasn't warned for his pills comment is because the rules are relaxed in the Pit. But then, people have gotten shit for saying things like DIAF, or "I'm going to mop the floor with you!" (referring to a discussion in GD).

It's like the whole cunt thing. The rules are one big game of Calvin Ball.

Colibri is explaining why Scumpup hasn't been banned for trolling in general. I don't see any mention by him of the pills comment in the exchange you quoted. The reason the pills comment didn't get moderated is because I was lazy this weekend, and forgot to check my mod email account. I've thrown a note at it now.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Why do you post on the Straight Dope Message Board? post #13

Kobal2 wins the thread with post #2

Oh, and correcting people who are Wrong. On the Internet. Because deep down, it's me. I am Sisyphus. Hear me painstakingly nitpick.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

A single sentence from a post by our mystery guest. One line should be enough.

So much of what we humans consider "ethical" is actually tied to our biology. An alien species could work a completely different way and consider something we consider abhorrent to be ethical:

I know, this one was too easy.

https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...3&postcount=14

I can name that tune in one note, Tom.

[Someone]

I find it ironic that DrDeth can't comprehend that something that is not offensive to him might still be offensive to others; isn't he the one who gets all butthurt when someone uses the term "mouth-breather"?

https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...9#post21980009

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Aw, nutbunnies, I jinxed it when I mentioned Skald. He's back. (oh, yeah, and blind)

Well, you don't need sight to choke the chicken.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Apparently Sammy is unfamiliar with the concept of freezer burn.

There are whole long lists of concepts in numerous fields he's unfamiliar with, but won't stop rectally deriving the details with his massive (shit-for) brain.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

A single sentence from a post by our mystery guest. One line should be enough.

So much of what we humans consider "ethical" is actually tied to our biology. An alien species could work a completely different way and consider something we consider abhorrent to be ethical:

I know, this one was too easy.

https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...3&postcount=14

Actually, that wasn't easy at all. The durpy pedantry could have come from a large number of Durps (including the one it actually was). I had dozens of guesses, and no way to narrow it down.

[Someone]

ThelmaLou is afraid of pumpkin guts. That's a new one on me...

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I find it ironic that DrDeth can't comprehend that something that is not offensive to him might still be offensive to others; isn't he the one who gets all butthurt when someone uses the term "mouth-breather"?

https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...9#post21980009

I believe that’s DrDeth

Originally Posted by Someone

I stay clear of pronounciation threads. Everyone arguing about words they say are pronounced differently when they all sound the exact same to me. The only IPA I want to deal with is my beer.

You’re from Western PA, buddy. You all pronounce the names Don and Dawn is if they were the same. You morph perfectly good “i” sounds into some weird tortured “ahhh.” You say things like “gahn dahn tahn” instead of “going down town.” Yinzers talk funny.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

ThelmaLou is afraid of pumpkin guts. That's a new one on me...

They are slimy and smell bad.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

They are slimy and smell bad.

Durpers?

[Someone]

A femur-breaker-by-proxy:

Originally Posted by Someone

So, if I kick a mouse in "the right place" will it double over in pain? (Only being semi-facetious)

Originally Posted by Someone

I don't know for sure about mice, but based on what happened to my male pet gerbil when he pissed off the female pet gerbil I'd have to say "yes".

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

ThelmaLou is afraid of pumpkin guts. That's a new one on me...

It's probably that fear of holes thing.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

tdn was deluded and super creepy. He claims it's perfectly fine to flirt with a waitress as long as you do it in a "welcome way". Plenty of people came in to point out that waitresses will usually respond positively to flirting, to protect their tips. tdn got really offended and kept doubling down.

What always blew me away about that last post was this line:

Originally Posted by Someone

It's flirting in a welcome way. I know that many of you think that there ain't no such beast -- maybe because you've never experienced it. Most women don't. But you'll have to trust me on this.

He seems to be simultaneously suggesting that a) most women never experience flirting they enjoy and b) he's the only one capable of flirting in a welcome way? High delusion, indeed.

[Someone]

Well, the good news is that even though he was a gross creeper, tdn's penis didn't work right. So rest easy, ladies. You'll have your chance to bolt once he brings out the syringe. Plot twist: it's for his penis, not to drug you.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

What always blew me away about that last post was this line:

He seems to be simultaneously suggesting that a) most women never experience flirting they enjoy and b) he's the only one capable of flirting in a welcome way? High delusion, indeed.

Nope. He's just perv-splaining.

[Someone]

BigT's dream job might actually come true.

Tuba, "Yes, we need more moderators in here. My bad. It's been on my to-do list for too long."

https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...d.php?t=885559

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

BigT's dream job might actually come true.

Tuba, "Yes, we need more moderators in here. My bad. It's been on my to-do list for too long."

https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...d.php?t=885559

There are very few mods; only twelve. I looked and was surprised.

Of those, Gaudere hasn't logged in since late 2018 and hasn't posted since early 2015. It's been six weeks since a log in from Gfactor. He made one post six months ago and the one before that was in 2013. Rico hasn't posted since December of last year and that was one post in the Death Pool. His previous post was months before that. So effectively there are only nine moderators.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

BigT's dream job might actually come true.

Tuba, "Yes, we need more moderators in here. My bad. It's been on my to-do list for too long."

https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...d.php?t=885559

Yes, but would they hire a mod with nine warnings? And if you think his lectures are bad, now, just wait until they give him some authori-tah.

[Someone]

Following various links originating in the tdn thread, I found this glorious bit of lunacy. . Jump to post 247. That’s where the fun starts.

How did “FREE REFILLABLE DRINK” never become a derp meme? If things weren’t so UNFAIR, it would be all worn-out and moth-eaten by now. It never got ITS TURN to play on a treadmill in the Marianas trench.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Well, the good news is that even though he was a gross creeper, tdn's penis didn't work right. So rest easy, ladies. You'll have your chance to bolt once he brings out the syringe. Plot twist: it's for his penis, not to drug you.

Wait, WHAT?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Following various links originating in the tdn thread, I found this glorious bit of lunacy. . Jump to post 247. That’s where the fun starts.

How did “FREE REFILLABLE DRINK” never become a derp meme? If things weren’t so UNFAIR, it would be all worn-out and moth-eaten by now. It never got ITS TURN to play on a treadmill in the Marianas trench.

For 20 minutes, in the 60s.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

So effectively there are only nine moderators.

And what a group of ding-dongs they are. At least three of them should be defrocked, and a few others re-assigned to different forums.

Tuba Diva
Jonathan Chance
Eng_comp_geek
Tomndebb
Bone
Loach
Chronos
Colibri
RickJay
Miller

Haj, did you forget RickJay or not include TD?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

It's been six weeks since a log in from Gfactor. He made one post six months ago and the one before that was in 2013.

It's kind of embarrassing to have a "Welcome back Gfactor!" thread where everyone dances around joyfully and cheers the returning hero, only to have him evaporate without doing any actual moderating.

My evidence-free conspiracy theory is that Jenny hasn't recruited any new moderators because she knows that the board is on borrowed time.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Following various links originating in the tdn thread, I found this glorious bit of lunacy. . Jump to post 247. That’s where the fun starts.

If I was going to sock up at the Dope, I'd impersonate Springs1. The account wouldn't last long, but for a day or two, it would bring everyone together.

It wouldn't be too difficult — the English-to-Springs1 Translator would help.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Haj, did you forget RickJay or not include TD?

Technically TD is an Admin, not a Mod. Does she mod any forums?

[Someone]

What's with Tuba's obsession with reindeer games?

Most of all we want you to hang out here and have fun. To share views, to answer questions, to give opinions, to play all our reindeer games.

https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...39&postcount=4

One door closes, another one opens ...

I am happy to announce the return of moderator and Straight Dope Science Advisory Board member Gfactor, effective today.

He will be your new IMHO and CCC moderator.

Please welcome him back to our reindeer games.

Jenny
your humble TubaDiva

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...47&postcount=1

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Wait, WHAT?

Enjoy:

Originally Posted by Someone

No beating around the bush here. I need a chemical assist. I do not take in in pill form (I can't stand the side effects), so I take it in injection form. (Those of you who might think I'm less of a man, let's see YOU deal with sticking a hypodermic needle into your wang a couple of times per week.) And yes, it does turn me into RoboWang. It's quite impressive. Porn stars should envy

Eta: ladies, you think childbirth is hard? Imagine what side effects made penis injections sound like a good idea.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

And what a group of ding-dongs they are. At least three of them should be defrocked, and a few others re-assigned to different forums.

Tuba Diva
Jonathan Chance
Eng_comp_geek
Tomndebb
Bone
Loach
Chronos
Colibri
RickJay
Miller

Haj, did you forget RickJay or not include TD?

Don't really recall anything about RickJay so I'll leave him off.

Of the rest, only Miller is competent and only Miller, ecg and Loach are not embarrassingly bad. I'd rather give the modship to BigToe, HurricaneDirtbag and octoputz than Jonathan S Chance or tomndebb

[Someone]

[Serious mode on] I'd suggest Beckdawreck for MPSIMS mod. Frequent poster who knows a rules violation when she sees one.

[Serious mode off] Just picture it:

Bad, bad, bad, bad mod note:

PosterX, this is a bad, bad, bad, bad warning for insults outside the pit (or, Beck says quit being nasty). Furthermore, your posting privileges are under review.

(I tease because I love. People I don't like I either ignore or am blandly cordial to them.)

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

And what a group of ding-dongs they are. At least three of them should be defrocked, and a few others re-assigned to different forums.

Tuba Diva
Jonathan Chance
Eng_comp_geek
Tomndebb
Bone
Loach
Chronos
Colibri
RickJay
Miller

Haj, did you forget RickJay or not include TD?

I like all of them, actually. Tomndebb gets a bit belligerent from time to time, but don't we all. Tuba is the only one I really don't know much about.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

And what a group of ding-dongs they are. At least three of them should be defrocked, and a few others re-assigned to different forums.

Tuba Diva
Jonathan Chance
Eng_comp_geek
Tomndebb
Bone
Loach
Chronos
Colibri
RickJay
Miller

Haj, did you forget RickJay or not include TD?

Actually, four groups.

Sane, normal, intelligent mods.
Loach
Miller
E_C_G

Mean, nasty, angry mods.
Colibri
Bone

Retired on Active Duty
Tomndebb
RickJay

Should Retire for love of country.
JC

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

My evidence-free conspiracy theory is that Jenny hasn't recruited any new moderators because she knows that the board is on borrowed time.

BigTurd getting ModBoots would be a sure sign of the apocalypse.

[Someone]

Ann Hedonia should mod Elections. Beck is perfect for MPSIMS. Say, whatever happened to Ellen Cherry?

[Someone]

Anyone who wants to be a mod at the derp should get their wish to mod a board in the twilight of it's days as it ebbs to oblivion.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Actually, four groups.

Sane, normal, intelligent mods.
Loach
Miller
E_C_G

Mean, nasty, angry mods.
Colibri
Bone

Retired on Active Duty
Tomndebb
RickJay

Should Retire for love of country.
JC

You're missing Chronos. I'd guess he'd be "Well meaning but "

[Someone]

Isn't iiandyiiii a mod over there?

[Someone]

Actually, I like Colibri more as a poster than as a mod. He'll get down and dirty in the Pit and give it to the likes of Octoputz and scumpup.

I miss ITD/Pure on the Dope, but I'm glad she's a mod here. And I miss Spice Weasel, she of the sparkly jackboots.

Originally Posted by Someone

Isn't iiandyiiii a mod over there?

No, he's not.

[Someone]

ETA: Here's a list of current mods, though some are more active than others.

https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showgroups.php

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Actually, I like Colibri more as a poster than as a mod. ....

He's used asshole so many times it makes him look like a broken record. The duck doctor should really step up his insults to something more creative.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

What always blew me away about that last post was this line:

He seems to be simultaneously suggesting that a) most women never experience flirting they enjoy and b) he's the only one capable of flirting in a welcome way? High delusion, indeed.

And somehow BigT winds up supporting tdn

Originally Posted by Someone

But that's just it. Waitresses can avoid the person or say something There are plenty of ways of communicating that you don't want to be flirted with, whether verbal or nonverbal. But, instead of trying these, they decide that it's more important to get the person's $30 tip than it is to be comfortable. So they choose to deal with it. (I do understand if they've tried to communicate their discomfort and it failed. But not when they intentionally fake enjoyment, or worse, flirt back.)

Who do those waitresses think they are, trying to make money at their places of employment? You'd think they actually have to pay for food and housing, instead of just living in their mom's basement.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Isn't iiandyiiii a mod over there?

Absolutely not!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Absolutely not!

I would nominate you, if that's how this worked.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

And somehow BigT winds up supporting tdn

Who do those waitresses think they are, trying to make money at their places of employment? You'd think they actually have to pay for food and housing, instead of just living in their mom's basement.

And hoping they don't fuck up when they buy you cheese.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I would nominate you, if that's how this worked.

Very kind, thank you!