136: And youuuuu Durp up my life. You give me Snark to carry on

[Someone]

azgem is my first block with the new software. Thanks, troll!

[Someone]

Honestly, I’m glad agzem turned up. The Durp is so boring these days, it’s refreshing to see a good troll getting stuck in and stirring shit up for a bit.

Edit: I just checked, and agzem has actually been a member since 2014. Has he always been a troll, or is it just a recent thing?

[Someone]

Do butterfly lawyers have teeny-weeny briefcases?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Do butterfly lawyers have teeny-weeny briefcases?

God, I hope so.

[Someone]

Ed introduces four new moderators.

Spoiler alert: BigT is not one of them.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Ed introduces four new moderators.

Spoiler alert: BigT is not one of them.

No BigT? Disappointed!

Actually, they seem to be a fairly sensible bunch. Except for that @What Exit? guy, he looks sneaky to me.

[Someone]

I don't trust that raventhief character, either... Queen Margot's enjoying the new jackboots a little too much

[Someone]

WTF, Exit? Why you wanna be a Durp mode? I thought you were cool. Okay, that's a lie, but I was beginning to think you weren't a complete dork. JFC.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Except for that @What Exit? guy, he looks sneaky to me.

Maybe he'll start a new "Ask the SDMB Moderator" thread here. That would be awesome.

[Someone]

Well, just as a measure of good faith, I feel that all new derp modes should be boxed for the next 24 hours to give them time to learn that Discourse software.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

WTF, Exit? Why you wanna be a Durp mode? I thought you were cool. Okay, that's a lie, but I was beginning to think you weren't a complete dork. JFC.

Not a complete dork was my aspiration.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Well, just as a measure of good faith, I feel that all new derp modes should be boxed for the next 24 hours to give them time to learn Discourse.

Wait, I'm also foolishly running a megapoll. Box me when that's done.

[Someone]

congratulations to What Exit!! we are so proud!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Well, just as a measure of good faith, I feel that all new derp modes should be boxed for the next 24 hours to give them time to learn that Discourse software.

Hey! I just started a mafia game!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Hey! I just started a mafia game!

Yes, box her!! She's the Scum that killed me in the Xmas game!

Nah, just kidding...or am I?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Yes, box her!! She's the Scum that killed me in the Xmas game!

Nah, just kidding...or am I?

<Narrows eyes, takes notes>

Mmmhmmmm.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Do butterfly lawyers have teeny-weeny briefcases?

It will be several years before I know for sure. Plus, it’s worth noting that I and my dearly departed cousin are (am/was, I suppose) man-sized butterflies.

Don’t get the wrong idea. We butterflies are far from delicate, and the flurry of our wings is known to be intense. One of the reasons so few butterflies pursue legal carriers is that when we get mad, we have a tendency to beat our wings together with such fury that sustained gale-force winds are not uncommon, and the gusts very often peak to just below hurricane strength (and sometimes above). When that happens, the papers go flying, litigants seek cover, and a mistrial is all but bound to follow. Naturally, such antics aren’t liable to endear one to a jurist, and so those few butterflies who do manage to pass the bar exam and gain admission to practice as attorneys tend not to last long.

Which is why, when a butterfly is nailed to the wall, you hardly ever hear about it, for we’ve no one to speak for us. And so we have my cousin: just one more butterfly nailed to the wall...

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Maybe he'll start a new "Ask the SDMB Moderator" thread here. That would be awesome.

Originally Posted by Someone

congratulations to What Exit!! we are so proud!

DURP of course congrats also to Raventhief < a toast!

[Someone]

I view all four positively. Well, I did.

Isn't Hari_Seldon in his 80s?

[Someone]

2 new mods for GD and P&E? Does that mean tomndebb will be stepping down?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Well, just as a measure of good faith, I feel that all new derp modes should be boxed for the next 24 hours to give them time to learn that Discourse software.

I like that idea...

If you new mods ever want to chat, you know how to find me

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I like that idea...

I will advocate against that although I teased raven. We just started a Mafia game, and What is running a megapoll, and megapolls are serious...

Of course, if I think raven is Scum and What is skewing the poll, I will be back lobbying like crazy.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

2 new mods for GD and P&E? Does that mean tomndebb will be stepping down?

He retired over a year ago, he just forgot to tell anyone.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I view all four positively. Well, I did.

Isn't Hari_Seldon in his 80s?

Yes. I don't want to sound ageist (I'm in my 60s) but that one surprised me. He has talked about being confused by his phone and computer. But he was able to figure out how to log into Discourse and post stuff, so I guess he'll be okay.

[Someone]

Looks like its too late to talk What Exit and Raventhief out of their foolishness, so I suppose congratulations are in order.

Originally Posted by Someone

...he was able to figure out how to log into Discourse and post stuff...

That usually means there is a teenage relative to help him out.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Not a complete dork was my aspiration.

Oh, come on. You've always been a complete dork, and that's why we love you... You're now a durp mod, so you now have a reputation to live down to. Quite frankly, I kinda doubt your ability to live down to Tardgasm's level, but I'm willing to be impressed. GO GET 'EM, TIGER!!!!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

It will be several years before I know for sure. Plus, it’s worth noting that I and my dearly departed cousin are (am/was, I suppose) man-sized butterflies.

Don’t get the wrong idea. We butterflies are far from delicate, and the flurry of our wings is known to be intense. One of the reasons so few butterflies pursue legal carriers is that when we get mad, we have a tendency to beat our wings together with such fury that sustained gale-force winds are not uncommon, and the gusts very often peak to just below hurricane strength (and sometimes above). When that happens, the papers go flying, litigants seek cover, and a mistrial is all but bound to follow. Naturally, such antics aren’t liable to endear one to a jurist, and so those few butterflies who do manage to pass the bar exam and gain admission to practice as attorneys tend not to last long.

Which is why, when a butterfly is nailed to the wall, you hardly ever hear about it, for we’ve no one to speak for us. And so we have my cousin: just one more butterfly nailed to the wall...

I'm not sure I'm getting this. Is UltraVile an incompetent West Virginia butterfly or an incompetent West Virginia lawyer...? They're rather difficult to tell apart.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I'm not sure I'm getting this. Is UltraVile an incompetent West Virginia butterfly or an incompetent West Virginia lawyer...? They're rather difficult to tell apart.

UltraVile is far too vile to be a butterfly. Proof is in the name.

[Someone]

raventhief and What Exit?, you guys promise not to lock/delete my threads whenever I decide to sock up?

[Someone]

Charlie_Tan is pissed that some obvious candidates got overlooked for Durp mode.

Originally Posted by Someone

I'm a bit sad. We've got new modes [congrats!], but some runner-ups got sadly shortlisted:

**Ultra Vires** - ATMB
**BigT** - GD+P&E
**DrDeth** - CS
and last but certainly not least to take some load off **miller** in the Pit:
**Octopus**

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-modes/919677?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Charlie_Tan is pissed that some obvious candidates got overlooked for Durp mode.

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-new-modes/919677?

I sure am. The amount of snark that would generate .

BTW - is it runners-up or runner-ups? Whitesquare99 corrects me.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I sure am. The amount of snark that would generate .

I totally agree. Oh, the lost inhumanity!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Not a complete dork was my aspiration.

I'm sure "Moderator of an internet message board, where I patrol forums called 'Cafe Society', 'Thread Games' and 'In My Humble Opinion'" will look great on your "Not a Complete Dork" resume. Do you submit that in ASCII?

But congrats - it's good to have one of the good guys on the job.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I'm sure "Moderator of an internet message board, where I patrol forums called 'Cafe Society', 'Thread Games' and 'In My Humble Opinion'" will look great on your "Not a Complete Dork" resume. Do you submit that in ASCII?

But congrats - it's good to have one of the good guys on the job.

Thank you, a good look at my posting history shows I'm well suited to the fluffy forums.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Do you submit that in ASCII?

Nah, he's an RPG guy. EBCDIC.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Nah, he's an RPG guy. EBCDIC.

Exactly.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

If you new mods ever want to chat, you know how to find me

Yep, first Wednesday of every month she'll make a 5 minute Cameo appearance right here.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I view all four positively. Well, I did.

Isn't Hari_Seldon in his 80s?

He is. He's also level headed and a math genius.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I sure am. The amount of snark that would generate .

BTW - is it runners-up or runner-ups? Whitesquare99 corrects me.

Oh, I get it! "Charlie Tan" = "charlatan," right? Now I'll never confuse you with Charlie Wayne again. Probably.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

He is. He's also level headed and a math genius.

I didn't think Hari was incapable. I'm just surprised that he would welcome the aggravation. I can't even imagine the tedium of dealing with all those idiots gabbling at one another, questioning every question and endlessly rules-lawyering mod decisions. I'd rather have a root canal or three. Without anesthesia.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Oh, I get it! "Charlie Tan" = "charlatan," right?

AFAIK it took 21 years for someone to openly state that. I'm not saying no one made the connection before, just that I haven't read it.

[Someone]

BTW, CardboardBoxx (a sock?) got off some good snark.

Originally Posted by Someone

**kaylas "the white square" dad** for Site Feedback is such a lock I don't understand why it didn't happen.

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/th...modes/919677/4

"The white square" is a perfect description of both Kaylasdad99 and his avatar.

[Someone]

Congratulations What Exit? and in deference to our years of friendship and mutual respect, here's a full list of all my socks on the Derp. No peeking, the rest of you!

Hah, as if. In some ways I am a person of principle and I have never once attempted to circumvent my bannination. Some more lines to make the spoiler box look interesting. Is this enough yet? Okay, I'm done.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Yep, first Wednesday of every month she'll make a 5 minute Cameo appearance right here.

Line forms to the left.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Congratulations What Exit? and in deference to our years of friendship and mutual respect, here's a full list of all my socks on the Derp. No peeking, the rest of you!

I don't have any socks, but not because I'm a person of principle. I'm easily confused, would screw them up, and out myself!

What Exit? and Raven, I'm curious about the process! Did you submit your names for consideration and then have to send an audition video and some booze? Or what, if you can say? Just curious.

[Someone]

I'm pretty sure they won't mention the stool sample part.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I'm pretty sure they won't mention the stool sample part.

Especially the way it's...obtained.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Especially the way it's...obtained.

By asking them to build the sturdiest stool they can, then throw it as far as they can without breaking it? Like, competitively?











Yes, I am aware of the sense in which "stool" is really meant here.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

AFAIK it took 21 years for someone to openly state that. I'm not saying no one made the connection before, just that I haven't read it.

We've been saying it behind your back. It's only taken you 21 years to notice.

[Someone]

Except for me. I just kept confusing Charlie Tan with Charlie Wayne. So like, now you've got that to live down, Pencil.