Family holiday get-togethers: Yea or Nay?

[Katriona]

Tony's family lives halfway around the country, so holidays with them aren't really an issue.

With my family, the trick is to limit the amount of time we spend.

[MissJeanLouise]

Come...share my victory.

We are having Thanksgiving with my in-laws. My mom started chirping this morning about how she should get to have Christmas at her house (which, by the way, she has for the past 2 years; it's not like we've denied her" and I said no.

Read that again---I said no. Actually, I told her that my kids were really hoping to have the same arrangement we had a few years ago, where we did not have to abandon their toys and gifts and start trucking all over creation while Mommy got tense and ended up crying, because we stayed home and people came to us if they chose to. And that's what we're doing again this year.

Yay!!!

[Dragonlady]

You go Girl!
NO ONE has the right to tell you how to celebrate. Holidays are for family and you have the right to have your family be happy.

[iampunha]

Originally Posted by Anacanapuna

Bless your wonderful, sweet wife! If you are married to a woman who values your family as much as her own, you are a very lucky man!

It's more like I just really don't care about either side, so any interest on her part in seeing family looks huge because I haven't wanted to see much of anyone in years*. That warm feeling you get when you see relatives? I don't get that. I used to, but I don't. Don't much miss it, either.

Ranty goodness ahead:

I did giant family gatherings for years, and I've had enough of them to last me the rest of my years. Given the choice between spending an hour with anyone but the wife or my father (he's disabled, and he can talk to me about things he can't tell his therapist about) and sitting around on my own doing whatever, I'm happier alone. That way, I don't have to talk about [thing I don't care about] or hear about [thing I REALLY don't care about] or wait for someone to say something I think is horribly offensive or listen to vanilla "Let's get along" talking. Blah. Blah. Blah. And it's made worse by the fact that I (usually) have had to pay for the plane tickets to be there, so I'm basically paying to be bored out of my gourd. I think that's the issue, really -- the talking about stuff that doesn't interest me. Don't care about what my sister is doing wherever, don't care about [other genetic relatives], don't care about [wife's cousin's triviality], don't care about this or that or the other church group or miscellaneous inanity (and all the while, the folks who're speaking are breaking English about every five seconds, so I'm busily dying inside while they're very excited about stuff I would have to get paid to care about, and I haven't yet gotten my "Please stop breaking English" grimace to resemble enough of a smile that it goes unnoticed). And if it's my turn to talk about my job (which is what one talks about if there's no football game on), I could either lie or try to get the person to understand why I'm trying to get out of my job -- at which point you have to understand my work (which would be fun except that all of two people in my extended family would laugh at the rimming, slotting, reefering [that's how the word sounds] and mounting that goes on work, and one of them would then run to his mother and repeat it to her and I'd get in trouble -- and he is 19 and should know better) and what it should be, and explaining that usually involves complaining (understandable given the nature of my displeasure, but still), which is not an interest because I don't want to be that "validate me!" relative.

*There's nothing wrong with my immediate family -- I just got enough of them 13ish years ago and don't gain anything from seeing them.

[Solfy]

Woof. I thought I was going to be running all over creation, but I found out a cousin of mine might need a little of MJL's "just say NO" ability.

She's moving from Atlanta back up here over Christmas break. Her husband's coming up this month (if he isn't here already) and she's moving up with her two elementary-aged girls over break to minimize disruption to their schooling. Despite the fact that they're moving over Christmas, her in-laws expect them all to go spend Christmas in Florida with them.

I would lose my mind.

[jali]

I love to get together with my kids, but this year I won't see them for Thanksgiving or Christmas.

I'm thinking about having a 70s party for my friends who won't be with family for the holidays. No holiday theme so no one will feel obligated to bring me gifts - and I won't have to shop for anyone except for my children and a few tokens for my neighbors and a couple of friends.

I'm going to look for old school recipes and we can listen to 70s music and maybe watch an old movie.

I'm looking forward to a different type of holiday this year.

[Bodhiman]

I like spending time with MY family for holidays because it's mostly flying by the seat of the pants. When we spend time with Mrs. Bodhi's clan, everything is freakin' planned out to the minute! I relate well to Meet the Fockers.

[jayjay]

Originally Posted by jali

I love to get together with my kids, but this year I won't see them for Thanksgiving or Christmas.

I'm thinking about having a 70s party for my friends who won't be with family for the holidays. No holiday theme so no one will feel obligated to bring me gifts - and I won't have to shop for anyone except for my children and a few tokens for my neighbors and a couple of friends.

I'm going to look for old school recipes and we can listen to 70s music and maybe watch an old movie.

I'm looking forward to a different type of holiday this year.

You might like this page. It's like Lileks's Gallery of Regrettable Food with the actual recipes!