Happy Zombie Jesus Day! - Page 2

Chacoguy · #1 24th April 2011, 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dirx

To tell you the truth (and speaking as a non-christian), I see the "don't know because the gospels don't agree" answers as kinda cop-outs. Especially because of #9. Not to say I think any of the gospel events are true; I just think it's a weak argument to say "none of the above" because they don't jive. Instead, just stick with "because it's not possible" or, even better, "there's no other account except what's in and derived from the bible."

[sorry for hijacking an otherwise lighthearted thread]

Enjoy your ride in the handbasket.

Lazlo · #2 24th April 2011, 08:34 PM

Hahaha! My SDMB location has been, "In a handbasket," for nearly a decade.

Knee · #3 25th April 2011, 03:49 AM

I sent my mom a text saying 'Happy Zombie Jesus Day' yesterday. I figured she'd think it was funny, since she thought this was hilarious, but she hasn't replied. Hmm... maybe I went too far this time

Quote:

Originally Posted by mswas

I really hope the Zombie Jesus meme is passe next year. I've heard it way too many times. It just isn't funny.

Just one of those jokes that people make because it's considered cool to denigrate Christians at every opportunity.

It's hipster irony at its best.

Maybe that's what it is now, but I've been making zombie Jesus jokes since I was 12. I actually do think it's funny.

mswas · #4 25th April 2011, 06:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Knee

Maybe that's what it is now, but I've been making zombie Jesus jokes since I was 12. I actually do think it's funny.

It WAS funny when you were 12. That's exactly the point. Now it's just a trite cliche.

Cue Beavis: Heheheheh, Zombie Jesus, making fun of Jesus on the highest of all Christian holidays is funny heheheheh...I'm not able to think of anything witty myself, so I will make a joke everyone has heard a thousand million times before...heheheheh.

Butthead: Baiting Christians is Cool.

bufftabby · #5 25th April 2011, 05:00 AM

I always thought yesterday was the Easter bunny's birthday. You mean it's Jesus that hands out all the candy?! He got me sugar-free marshmallow bunnies! That guy rules!

Solfy · #6 25th April 2011, 05:21 AM

Eldest is trying to grasp basic theology. Over dinner last week we were discussing Passover, and mentioned in passing that Jesus was Jewish.
Eldest was confused and a little surprised. "Jesus was Jewish?"
"Yes, he was. Very much so."
She paused for a second, clearly vexed.
"So. . . he didn't believe in himself?"

I didn't dare mention the zombieism. I try to stick to one significant revelation per week.

Uthrecht · #7 25th April 2011, 05:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Malacandra

Lame it is, highly accurate it isn't: if you played D&D you would know that Animate Dead and Resurrection have vastly different results

THANK you. I was going to make a similar point, if perhaps in a less NERD way.

I will note, however, that Animate Dead can make either a zombie or a skeleton. Also, that's not getting into stuff like Create Undead or Create Greater Undead. Probably irrelevant, since we're talking about priest classes. And I don't think Jesus lost a level, meaning it wasn't Raise Dead and you were on the money with Resurrection. You gotta figure part of why Judas betrayed Jesus was to help raise the money for that 10,000 gp gem.

Okay, maybe the NERD way wasn't so bad.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Solfy

Eldest is trying to grasp basic theology. Over dinner last week we were discussing Passover, and mentioned in passing that Jesus was Jewish.
Eldest was confused and a little surprised. "Jesus was Jewish?"
"Yes, he was. Very much so."
She paused for a second, clearly vexed.
"So. . . he didn't believe in himself?"

I didn't dare mention the zombieism. I try to stick to one significant revelation per week.

Yeah, yeah, he wasn't Orthodox so he was a self-hating Jew. I hear it all the time.

One revelation per week? What happened to six impossible things before breakfast?

Also, happy Easter folks.

Malacandra · #8 25th April 2011, 06:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Uthrecht

Quote:

Originally Posted by Malacandra

Lame it is, highly accurate it isn't: if you played D&D you would know that Animate Dead and Resurrection have vastly different results

THANK you. I was going to make a similar point, if perhaps in a less NERD way.

I will note, however, that Animate Dead can make either a zombie or a skeleton. Also, that's not getting into stuff like Create Undead or Create Greater Undead. Probably irrelevant, since we're talking about priest classes. And I don't think Jesus lost a level, meaning it wasn't Raise Dead and you were on the money with Resurrection. You gotta figure part of why Judas betrayed Jesus was to help raise the money for that 10,000 gp gem.

No, no, keep up - I said the interested deity didn't grant anyone Resurrection to cast, he Divine-Interventioned of his own volition. The comparison between the spells mentioned was just to emphasise that rising from the dead doesn't make you a zombie. Pay attention, this is sure to come up in the test.

Dragonlady · #9 25th April 2011, 07:01 AM

I don't remember the Zombie Jesus thing last year.
I was here then.
I swear this is the first I've heard of it - this year.

Maybe I just need to get out more.

mswas · #10 25th April 2011, 07:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dragonlady

I don't remember the Zombie Jesus thing last year.
I was here then.
I swear this is the first I've heard of it - this year.

Maybe I just need to get out more.

Well good, now that you've heard it maybe it will be mainstream enough to be considered passe next year, so those of us on the cutting edge of Christian sacrilege don't have to hear the joke for the tenth year running.

mswas · #11 25th April 2011, 07:28 AM

Moon Dog I'll leave you with this, as this thread has had all the nectar sucked out of it.

Next time someone calls a black person a nigger, or a Jew a kike, I want you to remember that you are a bigot in exactly the same way that they are.

But go ahead, and tell yourself different like a good little NPD.

Harry · #12 25th April 2011, 08:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mswas

... this thread has had all the nectar sucked out of it.

Well, there's a news flash.

I wonder who could possibly responsible...

mswas · #13 25th April 2011, 08:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Harry

Quote:

Originally Posted by mswas

... this thread has had all the nectar sucked out of it.

Well, there's a news flash.

I wonder who could possibly responsible...

The people who told that joke for the past decade?

Uthrecht · #14 25th April 2011, 08:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Harry

Quote:

Originally Posted by mswas

... this thread has had all the nectar sucked out of it.

Well, there's a news flash.

I wonder who could possibly responsible...

That was me, sorry.

In my defense, I had a crazy straw.

Uthrecht · #15 25th April 2011, 07:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mswas

Next time someone calls a black person a nigger, or a Jew a kike, I want you to remember that you are a bigot in exactly the same way that they are.

Bigot in exactly the same way? I don't think I can agree to that. He's cracking wise about a religion, which can be insensitive if someone doesn't find it amusing, but he's not using a traditional term of abuse. I'm not sure you could come up with an original term to use for blacks that isn't loaded with history (call someone a Cosby-lover? attends the Temple of Jell-o?), so I don't know it can be drawn across quite the same.

I think you made the point that it's a little aggressively pushy and has the "fuck 'em if they can't take a joke" part, but we could probably go over to the retarded thread for that as well.

ETA: I would say that calling Christians cannibals like Solfy mentions is probably a bit more in line, than talking about zombie Jesus.

mswas · #16 25th April 2011, 07:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Uthrecht

Quote:

Originally Posted by mswas

Next time someone calls a black person a nigger, or a Jew a kike, I want you to remember that you are a bigot in exactly the same way that they are.

Bigot in exactly the same way? I don't think I can agree to that. He's cracking wise about a religion, which can be insensitive if someone doesn't find it amusing, but he's not using a traditional term of abuse. I'm not sure you could come up with an original term to use for blacks that isn't loaded with history (call someone a Cosby-lover? attends the Temple of Jell-o?), so I don't know it can be drawn across quite the same.

I think you made the point that it's a little aggressively pushy and has the "fuck 'em if they can't take a joke" part, but we could probably go over to the retarded thread for that as well.

Sure.

Now this actually made me chuckle.

WednesdayAddams · #17 25th April 2011, 09:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Uthrecht

ETA: I would say that calling Christians cannibals like Solfy mentions is probably a bit more in line, than talking about zombie Jesus.

Only the Catholics. According to Evangelicals, they aren't really Christians anyway.

I didn't know Beavis & Butthead were hipster douches...was the term even around then? Are they responsible for making it a 'thing'? Will Mike Judge ever resurrect those reprobates? Who, oh, who can answer these burning questions the day after Easter? Or, as we atheists call it, the first Sunday after the first full moon after the spring equinox (which, may I just point out, nails down date of death really, really well).

Doyle · #18 25th April 2011, 07:52 AM

Christians here have to be pretty thick skinned concerning their faith. You also need to consider who it is making the "joke" or comment. Since Ed has never shown me to have least bit of a sense of humor, I can only take it as an affront.

Solfy · #19 25th April 2011, 08:23 AM

Do you find you have trouble getting crazy straws clean? I put them in the dishwasher, but I never really trust that there's not something brewing in there. . .

mswas · #20 25th April 2011, 08:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Solfy

Do you find you have trouble getting crazy straws clean? I put them in the dishwasher, but I never really trust that there's not something brewing in there. . .

Just run water in one end

Psst Moon Dog writing tags is responding. ;p

Lazlo · #21 25th April 2011, 09:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mswas

Psst Moon Dog writing tags is responding. ;p

That was probably me.

Salambo · #22 25th April 2011, 08:29 AM

Disposables, babeh. You gotta live fast and hard if you want to use the crazy straws.

Revs · #23 25th April 2011, 08:58 AM

I first heard the zombie Jesus jokes on Futurama. So I guess we can blame those guys for starting it.

And in a holiday that is commonly celebrated with dyed eggs and chocolate bunnies and is associated with a guy who rose from the dead after inviting his followers to eat his body and drink his blood, a zombie reference is neither too far of a stretch or the most ridiculous joke one could make.

(when I was in catholic school we all considered Jesus to be a benevolent vampire of some sort. Many hours on the playground were devoted to the subject every spring)

Lazlo · #24 25th April 2011, 09:45 AM

Obligatory zombie song link.

WednesdayAddams · #25 25th April 2011, 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lazlo

Obligatory zombie song link.

So many sacrilegious things at which to be offended.

There's the Jesus action figure (does not come with real Kung Fu grip, celebriduck Buddha on same page). And of course, bobblehead Jesus. But my personal favorite will always be Jesus Rhinestone Christ with a Ruby loincloth. Sometimes I really miss Eve....

Jaglavak · #26 25th April 2011, 10:56 AM

Yeah, Eve was lethal. What ever happened to her, anyway?

mswas · #27 25th April 2011, 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaglavak

Yeah, Eve was lethal. What ever happened to her, anyway?

She tore out Adam's throat with her teeth and was banned.

Lazlo · #28 25th April 2011, 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WednesdayAddams

So many sacrilegious things at which to be offended.

There's the Jesus action figure (does not come with real Kung Fu grip, celebriduck Buddha on same page). And of course, bobblehead Jesus. But my personal favorite will always be Jesus Rhinestone Christ with a Ruby loincloth. Sometimes I really miss Eve....

WWBCD?

WednesdayAddams · #29 25th April 2011, 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaglavak

Yeah, Eve was lethal. What ever happened to her, anyway?

I wish I knew. She hasn't posted in about four years. IIRC, she got sick and tired of having to deal with bigoted assholes and left. The board was definitely the worse for her leaving.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lazlo

WWBCD?

I lurrrrves me some Buddy Christ. Angsty Catholic that he is, Kevin Smith has no trouble poking fun at himself.

Salambo · #30 25th April 2011, 11:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Radical Edward

Well, see, in a resurrection situation you've got your spellcaster who's gonna go, "STAND BACK! IMMA FIX HIM!" while in a zombie situation, the voodoo priest or whoever isn't exactly trying to draw attention to himself. This voodoo priest just happens by Jesus' tomb, zombifies him, and goes on his way. Nobody's ever going to track him down.

That's the truth. I'm still looking for the man who zombified my pa.

Lazlo · #31 25th April 2011, 11:58 AM

That wasn't my intent so much as it was to explain my point of view. We obviously have different opinions on what gives us the lulz. Personally, I find the "butthurt" perspective to be hilarious.

ETA: Which of course, could be both sides. /shrug

mswas · #32 25th April 2011, 12:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lazlo

That wasn't my intent so much as it was to explain my point of view. We obviously have different opinions on what gives us the lulz. Personally, I find the "butthurt" perspective to be hilarious.

In my experience the religion with the biggest butthurt sensitivity is atheists.

"We don't have the numbers to elect members of our religious cohort therefore we are an oppressed minority!!!"

No one can whine like an atheist, just ask Dick Dawk.

Lazlo · #33 25th April 2011, 12:03 PM

And in my experience, it's the fundies.

Funny how bias works, isn't it?

mswas · #34 25th April 2011, 12:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lazlo

And in my experience, it's the fundies.

Funny how bias works, isn't it?

Sure, I agree totally. Fundie atheists are the most butthurt around.

WednesdayAddams · #35 25th April 2011, 12:10 PM

Serious question: why should uber holy days be off limits? It's not like they're less ridiculous than any other holy day for any other religion. And every time there's poking or criticism, it's considered THE most important holy day of the year: Christmas, Easter. Which?

Easter: Named after pagan goddess Eostara (British? Roman? Forgot...) whose 'totems' were the hare and the egg, whose fertility rites were celebrated on the vernal equinox, said celebrations having been adopted by modern goth/wiccan/melodramatic teenage girls. Hmmm...rabbit...egg...spring. This sounds really familiar. It couldn't possibly be that the church co-opted the damn holiday, could it? Perhaps even timed the 'sacred holiday' in such a way as to stomp all over the pagan celebrations and yet still at the same time keep it on a Sunday to remind everyone it's about the ONE GOD, even though 'he died on Friday the 8th of April and came back on the 10th' would be way more consistent? Is there a reason that should not be mocked?

mswas · #36 25th April 2011, 12:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WednesdayAddams

Serious question: why should uber holy days be off limits? It's not like they're less ridiculous than any other holy day for any other religion. And every time there's poking or criticism, it's considered THE most important holy day of the year: Christmas, Easter. Which?

It has nothing to do with being off limits. Obviously Radical Edward had the right to be a cunt and post Zombie Jesus jokes. It's not off limits. It just makes you a cunt if you publically make fun of people on their high holidays. It's just willful disrespect for other people. If being willfully disrespectful of others is your thing, then go for it.

Quote:

Easter: Named after pagan goddess Eostara (British? Roman? Forgot...) whose 'totems' were the hare and the egg, whose fertility rites were celebrated on the vernal equinox, said celebrations having been adopted by modern goth/wiccan/melodramatic teenage girls. Hmmm...rabbit...egg...spring. This sounds really familiar. It couldn't possibly be that the church co-opted the damn holiday, could it? Perhaps even timed the 'sacred holiday' in such a way as to stomp all over the pagan celebrations and yet still at the same time keep it on a Sunday to remind everyone it's about the ONE GOD, even though 'he died on Friday the 8th of April and came back on the 10th' would be way more consistent? Is there a reason that should not be mocked?

Everyone who says stuff like this thinks its insightful but it's not. Pretty much anyone who is not a tard knows that Easter is a fertility rite, and knows that the church co-opted pagan rites in every culture where it found converts in order to make the transition for the smallfolk less dramatic. In otherwords they convert to your religion, they adopt your system of power, they get to keep their traditional feast holidays.

So Easter is a Spring fertility festival and Valentine's Day falls on Lupercalia. So what?

Lazlo · #37 25th April 2011, 12:11 PM

Touche, you rat bastard.

ETA: Wedz, nothing is sacred. Nothing! Muahahaha.

mswas · #38 25th April 2011, 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lazlo

Touche, you rat bastard.

ETA: Wedz, nothing is sacred. Nothing! Muahahaha.

Not even human life?

Uthrecht · #39 25th April 2011, 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mswas

Not even human life?

Nope, lots of people make mockeries of theirs.

Lazlo · #40 25th April 2011, 12:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mswas

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lazlo

Touche, you rat bastard.

ETA: Wedz, nothing is sacred. Nothing! Muahahaha.

Not even human life?

Fuck no. We're worse than viruses.

Dazzling White Diamonds · #41 25th April 2011, 12:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lazlo

Fuck no. We're worse than viruses.

That means we've gotten outside the petri dish, and the experiment is null and void, right?

WednesdayAddams · #42 25th April 2011, 12:19 PM

Especially not human life. It's one of the cheapest commodities on the planet.

Lazlo · #43 25th April 2011, 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WednesdayAddams

Especially not human life. It's one of the cheapest commodities on the planet.

Dammit all. I'd like to change my answer to, "Depends on the life," to avoid being a copycat.

mswas · #44 25th April 2011, 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WednesdayAddams

Especially not human life. It's one of the cheapest commodities on the planet.

This is why atheists must be kept from office wherever possible.

Lazlo · #45 25th April 2011, 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mswas

Quote:

Originally Posted by WednesdayAddams

Especially not human life. It's one of the cheapest commodities on the planet.

This is why atheists must be kept from office wherever possible.

Now THAT is comedy gold.

mswas · #46 25th April 2011, 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lazlo

Now THAT is comedy gold.

I do not wish to be ruled by people who do not believe that human life is sacred.

Sure, I understand that overall the records of governments on that score haven't been terribly good to begin with.

But seriously, that several of you concurred with the same opinion on that really will make me think twice about voting for an atheist in the future.

Uthrecht · #47 25th April 2011, 12:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mswas

I do not wish to be ruled by people who do not believe that human life is sacred.

Of course, the flipsides would be either the people who believe that life is sacred and starts at fertilization, or the people who believe that life is sacred and includes the eternity of the afterlife, so your length of time here is so small that it doesn't matter if you don't have a great time.

And to bring that back to the OP, who's up for a good nailing?