Durp: '65 Snark Affair

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

GunsNPot would like to remind everybody that he's a "big crazy-looking biker type".

I've been to a CrackerBarrel. I know how these types are. If you see one, RUN.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Spanish, gotta cut in the Spanish.

Nava, is that you?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

GunsNPot would like to remind everybody that he's a "big crazy-looking biker type".

It's far from the first time he's told that story. He's too senile to get that it makes him look like the clumsy incompetent* he's become.

*I would have put the word "fuckwad" in there, too, but he's apparently always been one of those, so I skipped the redundancy. Oh, yeah, and I wanted to respond to post #27, "Is the point of this story that even responsible gun owners can lose control of their weapons?" with "No, the point of the story was that GunsNPot has lost it, is a drooling moron, now, and is, by definition, irresponsible", but that would have gotten me a warning.

[Someone]

I'm really holding out for Amateur Barbarian getting a not-unconcealed carry permit.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I'm really holding out for Amateur Barbarian getting a not-unconcealed carry permit.

Maybe he will not-unaccidentally not-unshoot himself in the not-unhead, and do the world a not-unfavor.

I just hope I got all the not-undouble not-unnegatives right in that not-unsentence to be not-uncorrect.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I just hope... I got all the... not-undouble not-unnegatives right in that... not-unsentence to be... not-uncorrect.

ABTFY

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

ABTFY

I can almost hear the... Rube-Goldburg-Machine gears turning.

[Someone]

Oh God, is that the "YAY I'm using my Constitutional Carry right granted to me from God Himself, which has extended my dick length by at least seven inches!!" thread? I haven't been back there since I replied early on, wondering what the fuck is wrong about needing a CCW permit?

I'm the worst kind of chicken-shit poster, though, because I'm too wimpy to see the inevitable responses from the folks who need their metal penis to be concealed NOW NOW NOW. Snark on me away.

Going back to Idle Thoughts, I have to agree that the mods have gotten mocked for falling for trolls and not banning them, and they get snarked for banning them too soon. Is there some golden hour that's the ideal amount of time that a troll should be allowed free?

I enjoy a good troll trainwreck, and the execrably spelled northporlarbear was fun, but given his rate of posting, I think he was given enough slack to entertain us before the banhammer struck. IMHO of course.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Jesse H Christ!

Apparently, although the durpers are the smartest people on tha intartubes they are also the most unhappiest about their lives.

It's got a two-fer as it's started and frequently replied to by CCitizen...
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...4#post18780064

Isn't there allegedly some kind of rule over there about posting about the same thing over and over again? How has CCitizen not gotten a mod-slap for that? Virtually all of his posts amount to one or more of the following:

1. I am depressed.
2. I have a PhD in math but hate math.
3. I have no independence, but don't tell me how to try being independent, because I'll just ignore you or tell you that it's hopeless.
4. At least I'm not homeless or a drug addict.

That is basically his entire posting history in a nutshell.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Isn't there allegedly some kind of rule over there about posting about the same thing over and over again? How has CCitizen not gotten a mod-slap for that? Virtually all of his posts amount to one or more of the following:

1. I am depressed.
2. I have a PhD in math but hate math.
3. I have no independence, but don't tell me how to try being independent, because I'll just ignore you or tell you that it's hopeless.
4. At least I'm not homeless or a drug addict.

That is basically his entire posting history in a nutshell.

5) He's not an obvious troll. Since, of course BigTard would slap you for suggesting that an Assburger not be allowed to be an Ass. They can't help it, you know, and you're required to put up with any amount of bullshit if BigTard deems the bullshitter 'worthy', somehow.

[Someone]

CCitizen is a tough call. Look, I've suffered from depression all my life, with low troughs where I was barely functional and some more stable periods where I wasn't happy but I was productive. So I have a lot of sympathy for anyone who's as low as he appears to be. But he's become a Johnny One Note, and it's getting to absurd levels now.

Look at Foggy, who has, frighteningly, quite often stated his desire to kill himself, to the point where it's a running theme throughout his posting history. But even Foggy posts about other topics. CCitizen seems to have appeared out of nowhere (although he isn't a newbie, IIRC) and over the past month or so has been harping on his miseries daily, even when it's not on topic.

Heck even when it is on topic--like in that thread--his only response to other people who talk about their depression is simply to quote them and respond with why his depression is different/unique. I guess that's the Asperger's in him: a lack of understanding what's appropriate in social situations.

But what BigT gets wrong (aside from his tedious holier-than-thou behavior) is the notion that someone with Asperger's is beyond learning what's appropriate. Asperger's isn't the same as being a sociopath or psychopath, for God's sake. Someone as high-functioning as CCitizen--and if he's truly got a PhD from anywhere other than an online university than he must have some pretty high-functioning skills--can learn what is expected, and what the general rules of courtesy and social expectations are. Even if he doesn't understand it, he can obey the rules.

His indifference to learning these lessons is what bugs me about him. People are telling him to cool it with his ceaseless refrain, but he doesn't care. That's narcissism, not Asperger's. In fairness, depression can make one unable to see anything other than one's own misery. Coupled with Asperger's, that's a recipe for self-centeredness. Still, depressed people are also hypersensitive about how they're perceived by others, and don't want to be the focus of as much negative attention as CCitizen invites upon himself.

I remember someone in one of those threads tried patiently to convince him to talk about something else--anyone recall this? This was pretty recent, where a poster (someone who's also described himself as troubled, IIRC) begged him to start a new thread on a topic, any topic, other than the solipsistic "I'm depressed, I hate my PhD and career, my parents suck for forcing me to study math, and women are too uppity" topics he prefers. But the effort was for naught; CCitizen didn't pay attention.

(Oh yeah, the women thing is something Bennet left out of his/her list of CCitizen topics.)

I wish BigT would realize that yes, even people with mental illnesses can learn to adjust their behavior. Depends on the illness, of course, but people with Asperger's--high functioning, that is--are certainly teachable, and can learn to follow social cues if they try. They're not the wretched pitiable figures BigT makes them out to be. That's just as insulting, to be honest.


Edited to add: Holy fuck, my posts are ridiculously long. Sorry, TL;DR, I know.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I never try anything, I just snark it. Wanna snark me?

You're all snarked up, aren't you baby?

[Someone]

Oh, boy! Get out the popcorn before this one's locked!

[Someone]

Not to mention if someone's disability is truely severe enough so that they can't be held accountable for their actions, then perhaps they shouldn't be posting on the internet unsupervised? If you can't understand how to follow the rules, then it's probably not appropriate for you to post on the SDMB. Not that that's the case with CCitizen, but BigT seems to think that mental illness = get out of jail free card. He does that every fucking time. It pisses me off, because it only increases the stigma of mental illness, it doesn't help.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Oh, boy! Get out the popcorn before this one's locked!

I even saw that one, but figured I'd make up for the last one by letting some have their fun before his kick...especially since he made the topic in the Pit and is bringing it on himself.

In other words, I'll probably ban him before I go to bed (if nobody else has before then)...that'll be in about two hours.

[Someone]

Not huge snark but Chronos continues his uppity shit in response to post 10.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Not huge snark but Chronos continues his uppity shit in response to post 10.

Heh. And Colibri gives him a little rap on the nose and says "yeah yeah, stop being a nitpicking jerk." (Okay, I'm paraphrasing, but I'm pretty sure that's what he meant.)

[Someone]

Posted without comment. GusNSpot: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...8&postcount=12

[Someone]

Most surprising part about this word salad? The join date.

"and if you don't know about that then so perhaps you could tell me about this then."

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Isn't there allegedly some kind of rule over there about posting about the same thing over and over again? How has CCitizen not gotten a mod-slap for that?

Isn't there a rule against using the Dope as a personal blog? Seems to me that what CCitizen is doing. He's just venting (at inordinate length) about his screwed up personal life, and isn't interested in getting advice or changing anything.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

He likes to make his proclamations as if he's speaking from a lofty mount insead of from the depths of his mother's basement.

If you read BigT's posts in Data's voice, it all falls into place.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Posted without comment. GusNSpot: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...8&postcount=12

Quoted without reading.

[Someone]

Read without quoting.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Oh, boy! Get out the popcorn before this one's locked!

FXMasturbatingfuriously gets in and tries to out-troll the troll. I hope they finally ban him, too.

[Someone]

I always love the gun-bators who furiously defend the 2nd Amendment and pretty much in the same breath demonstrate why it should be repealed. It's always some story where they dropped it, or almost shot an innocent person because they're so bad-ass.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Or this

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...ply&p=18781413

WHITE BEAR POWER!!

[Someone]

Whose dick would you rather suck, Obamas or Thomas Jeffersons?


http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=772268

Trick question. You want to suck both of them but you want to suck Obamas twice.

[Someone]

Robert163 came across an article that looked interesting, but he's too tired to read it. Would somebody read it and tell him what to think?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

FXMasturbatingfuriously gets in and tries to out-troll the troll. I hope they finally ban him, too.

I thought the band name jokes were pretty good.

[Someone]

Normal person: Where is your dog's favorite spot for scratchin's or rubbin's? Behind the ears? Belly?

Leo Bloom: If your dog (male or female) had a clit, where would it be?

Fucking ew.

[Someone]

Leo Bloom: If your dog (male or female) had a clit, where would it be?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

If you read BigT's posts

Here's where you lost me.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Posted without comment. GusNSpot: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...8&postcount=12

Jesus. I live in a city that probably has above average crime, at least for my state. The worst thing that has happened to me is that I had a snow shovel stolen from my front porch, and some loose change from a car I foolishly left unlocked. And somehow he has had a front door kicked in, was almost carjacked, his sister was raped, his daughter was murdered, another sister was almost murdered and his father had some (unnamed) incidents. Maybe there is a genetic pheromone that induces homicidal rage instead of sexual desire?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Jesus. I live in a city that probably has above average crime, at least for my state. The worst thing that has happened to me is that I had a snow shovel stolen from my front porch, and some loose change from a car I foolishly left unlocked. And somehow he has had a front door kicked in, was almost carjacked, his sister was raped, his daughter was murdered, another sister was almost murdered and his father had some (unnamed) incidents. Maybe there is a genetic pheromone that induces homicidal rage instead of sexual desire?

The bit he left out was that he was the perpetrator each time.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Normal person: Where is your dog's favorite spot for scratchin's or rubbin's? Behind the ears? Belly?

Leo Bloom: If your dog (male or female) had a clit, where would it be?

Fucking ew.

For the sake of the dog, do not tell him.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

For the sake of the dog, do not tell him.

Remember the premise of Deep Throat? Tell him that.
Bloody hilarious.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Jesus. I live in a city that probably has above average crime, at least for my state. The worst thing that has happened to me is that I had a snow shovel stolen from my front porch, and some loose change from a car I foolishly left unlocked. And somehow he has had a front door kicked in, was almost carjacked, his sister was raped, his daughter was murdered, another sister was almost murdered and his father had some (unnamed) incidents. Maybe there is a genetic pheromone that induces homicidal rage instead of sexual desire?

He might not be lying. When we lived in Seattle, one son was mugged getting off a bus, another son was robbed of his shoes at knifepoint walking home from work, my daughter was assaulted (the monster who did it beat a girl to death shortly after he got out of prison), three bikes were stolen from our yard, a car was stolen, the house was burgled (TV stolen), and various items were stolen from cars (radiator, head rest, a dashboard!). We lived in a nice neighborhood and didn't have dangerous friends or live a risky lifestyle.

[Someone]

"What are your addictions? Booze? Gambling? Smoka some crack?"


Derpers:

Solitare!
Model horses!
Decorative tea tins!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

"What are your addictions? Booze? Gambling? Smoka some crack?"


Derpers:

Solitare!
Model horses!
Decorative tea tins!

Missed 2 more classics:

Spice gumdrops!
Yarn!


Ooo, you derpers are a wordly bunch. Capable of discussing the great issues of our day from a position of authority only a lifetime of experience can lend. What with your gumdrops and model horses. I would love to hear your opinions on climate change and dog clits.

[Someone]

In a thread about standing during the Pledge of Allegiance, kanicbird is compelled to do some witnessing:

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...8&postcount=21

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

For the sake of the dog, do not tell him.

Better yet, for the sake of society at large, tell him it's on the butt of the cop manning the front desk down at the station.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

In a thread about standing during the Pledge of Allegiance, kanicbird is compelled to do some witnessing:

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...8&postcount=21

The rest of the thread is chock-full of other edgy Durpy people, too.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

"What are your addictions? Booze? Gambling? Smoka some crack?"


Derpers:

Solitare!
Model horses!
Decorative tea tins!

Hoarding model horsies is actually a step up for Papsett.

[Someone]

WTF is dougie monty Pitting here? Has he stopped taking his meds or something?

[Someone]

RealityChunk would like to remind everyone that he hates Alien. Again.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

WTF is dougie monty Pitting here? Has he stopped taking his meds or something?

He wanted to reserve a space.
Like the lawnchair holding a curbside parking space in Chicago.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

WTF is dougie monty Pitting here? Has he stopped taking his meds or something?

Atheists, of course. (Defined as 'anyone who doesn't believe as I do. JWs are not terribly original, that way.)

He also doesn't understand what the 'debate' is about, but being a 'Good Jehovah's Wittless', he's going to hold up his side, whether or not he understands it. Ya gotta give him props, here. He's somewhere in excess of 64 years old (he mentioned his age a while ago, and I ain't looking to see how long ago it was) , so he's no doubt going senile, and losing it (of course, he never had it in the first place, not being too bright), so he really doesn't know where he's going with this. But 'Dammit (*gasp*! Can JWs say that?)', He's going to try!

We'll get a coherent debate topic from 'dougie' on the back-side of when JWs come out with a coherent doctrine. Not holding my breath....

I'll be looking for 'Pigs on the wing' first. And the music is more enjoyable.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Model horses!

Woah. OK look dude, we don't want any trouble here.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Atheists, of course. (Defined as 'anyone who doesn't believe as I do. JWs are not terribly original, that way.)

He also doesn't understand what the 'debate' is about, but being a 'Good Jehovah's Wittless', he's going to hold up his side, whether or not he understands it. Ya gotta give him props, here. He's somewhere in excess of 64 years old (he mentioned his age a while ago, and I ain't looking to see how long ago it was) , so he's no doubt going senile, and losing it (of course, he never had it in the first place, not being too bright), so he really doesn't know where he's going with this. But 'Dammit (*gasp*! Can JWs say that?)', He's going to try!

We'll get a coherent debate topic from 'dougie' on the back-side of when JWs come out with a coherent doctrine. Not holding my breath....

I'll be looking for 'Pigs on the wing' first. And the music is more enjoyable.

IIRC, he's stated he has schizophrenia. That, plus a major temper, a martyr complex, and the fact that he belongs to a pretty dodgy religion doesn't make for a stable individual.

[Someone]

Could somebody explain this please: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...2&postcount=19