113 is the Snark emergency phone number in Luxembourg, Slovenia, and Durpsylvania

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Anyway, there's a perfectly easy solution: draw dicks all over the trucks for as long as it takes until they either require the trucks to be washed down more often or create a "please do not write on the dirty trucks" policy.

Genius!

Originally Posted by Someone

HerpicaneDerpta suggests Czar get another job. Simple and effective answer actually.

This is the best answer. I always wonder why the hell he works there.

[Someone]

Alky: Nailed it!

Czarky needs to apply about 720 degrees of counterclockwise twist to those panties of his, FFS. Has he somehow failed to notice that's it's trumptards all the way down as soon as you get outside Portland Metro? Fucking Vantucky is where the Patriot Prayer and Proud Boys spawned from, dafuq is he so pearl clutchy over some fucking truck graffiti? Big baby.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

That's... an odd occupation for Mr. Pacifist.

He’s not so much of a pacifist, which at least… At minimum… Require some kind of moral stand. He’s more of a sissy coward. He’s not taking a stand against violence he admitted that in a confrontation he could physically not make a fist with the implication that he would also piss his diapers

[Someone]

What kind of adult though writes political slogans in dirt on a truck? I have never seen anything like that, on a truck going down the road -- have you? (Or anything written in dirt on a truck)

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

He’s not so much of a pacifist, which at least… At minimum… Require some kind of moral stand. He’s more of a sissy coward. He’s not taking a stand against violence he admitted that in a confrontation he could physically not make a fist with the implication that he would also piss his diapers

Linky??? Oh, wait. It's you. What am I thinking???

ETA: Here. I did it myself!!!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

What kind of adult though writes political slogans in dirt on a truck? I have never seen anything like that, on a truck going down the road -- have you? (Or anything written in dirt on a truck)

All I've ever written was the bog-standard "Wash Me". Seen it plenty of times, too...

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Linky??? Oh, wait. It's you. What am I thinking???

ETA: Here. I did it myself!!!

Holy shit, what a pathetic ass. He won't even defend someone he cares about -- he "cannot". I can't understand that mentality. It's not violence, it's just...someone's about to hurt a child, you can't do anything other than "block"? That just...I cannot.

[Someone]

What does the dipshit think sporks are for, anyway? Stab that sick bastard right in the neck.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

He doesn't even drive the trucks -- he's just security at the place.

Do remind us what your job is, dear. What are you "just"?

[Someone]

WTF? I wasn't disparaging his job, I was saying he wasn't a driver, jackass, so it was stupid to complaining about the trucks.

Fuck off.

[Someone]

Carnivorousplant posts a vague question about a sixty year old TV episode.
https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...98&postcount=1

Gets pissed when called on it.
https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...76&postcount=6

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

This is the best answer. I always wonder why the hell he works there.

It doesn't work like that when you're an older worker. Either you're on the success track and people call you to hire you or you're not and, frankly, you're fucked. It's damn near impossible to get even a minimum wage job when you're an older worker -- everyone wants someone who is likely to move up, or need less income, or who won't leave for another opportunity, or whatever excuse they have for not hiring an older worker today.

I'm no Czar fan but I feel for his employment situation.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Carnivorousplant posts a vague question about a sixty year old TV episode.
https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...98&postcount=1

Gets pissed when called on it.
https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...76&postcount=6

To be fair,tho, he's acting pissed at terenti, who is consistently abrasive in cafe

[Someone]

I like the new title. It's just so..so...catchy.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

It doesn't work like that when you're an older worker. Either you're on the success track and people call you to hire you or you're not and, frankly, you're fucked. It's damn near impossible to get even a minimum wage job when you're an older worker -- everyone wants someone who is likely to move up, or need less income, or who won't leave for another opportunity, or whatever excuse they have for not hiring an older worker today.

I'm no Czar fan but I feel for his employment situation.

As do I, although I get the vibe from Czusie that he's one of those socially awkward and proud of it ivory tower wannabees who'd rather not interact with anyone outside their own select circle, ever, and resent having to mingle with the commoners.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

What kind of adult though writes political slogans in dirt on a truck? I have never seen anything like that, on a truck going down the road -- have you? (Or anything written in dirt on a truck)

All the time. Mostly it's the mundane "wash me."

[Someone]

Last chance to snark on the thread title! Any takers?

[Someone]

I'll just hold this spot and edit later.

ETA: END THE IN(S)ANE NUMERIC ALLUSIONS IN SNARK THREAD NOMENCLATURE

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I like the new title. It's just so..so...catchy.

So's herpes.

[Someone]

And measles.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Last chance to snark on the thread title! Any takers?

I dunno. For a fenris title it’s actually halfway OK.

[Someone]

That's so "you don't sweat much for a fat girl" in the way of compliments.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I'll just hold this spot and edit later.

ETA: END THE IN(S)ANE NUMERIC ALLUSIONS IN SNARK THREAD NOMENCLATURE

YEAH WHAT HE SAID

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Last chance to snark on the thread title! Any takers?

Since you asked...what is Durpsylvania? Because the emergency number in Transylvania is 112.

[Someone]

It's where Derpula lives.

[Someone]

Annie Xmas cracks me up.

Originally Posted by Someone

I'm a vegetarian. My standard fast food "meal" is large fries, two apple pies, caramel sundae and a large coffee.

I also hate discussions about food and eating habits, and refuse to explain my eating habits beyond I don't eat meat. Yet, total strangers will come up to me and ask "You're not having a burger?" Some even offer to buy me food.

I do not usually eat in the restaurant, but in the nearest park.

[Someone]

I've never in my life had a random stranger comment on my food, no matter where I was eating it. I'm so glad I don't live where she and Broomstick do.

[Someone]

If strangers offer to buy you food it may have to do with your sartorial choices and what they lead ppl to assume about your living situation.

[Someone]

^Further evidence here.

Originally Posted by Someone

During the recent cold snap here, bus drivers were letting me ride for free, something they can do "at their discretion." Being a disabled senior citizen has its perks!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Annie Xmas cracks me up.

I think I understand why her wrist bone snapped off.

And Thelma's phone skillz.

[Off topic]

A thousand bucks a year?

When I take my kindle someplace that doesn't have wifi, I go to the network settings on my phone (a BlackBerry Key2, but I'm pretty sure other smartphones have this option) and turn my phone into a mobile hotspot. Then to the wifi settings on my kindle to connect. When I'm done, I turn off mobile hotspot, and I'm on my way.

[/Off topic]

Those are what, at least 7 years old?
https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...7&postcount=39

[Someone]

Yeah, crazy old lady eating a caramel sundae in a park somewhere, likely yelling at pigeons that get too close and sneering at small children. And she wonders why occasionally someone offers to buy her a sandwich.

edit: this calls for some Annie retrosnark when she literally ends up in a psych ward. Good times.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I like the new title. It's just so..so...catchy.

Your incredibly sincere compliment has touched my heart. You have one free boxing for anyone who posts in this thread. Rules are the same as always: I can't box Mods/Admins (including myself). You may use the boxing for sweet, sweet revenge, or LULZ or just random abuse of someone. The length of the boxing is up to me. When the thread ends (between post 900 and 1000), the offer evaporates.

Use it wisely.

[Someone]

Her week in the laughing academy probably made inpatients of most the staff.

ETA. Fenny, someone really fucked up your avatar this time. Looks like, I dunno.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I've never in my life had a random stranger comment on my food, no matter where I was eating it. I'm so glad I don't live where she and Broomstick do.

I have, a few times. I've occasionally had people quietly ask me what it was that I'd ordered because it looked/smelled good and they'd like to order it as well. I've done the same to other people if it's not obvious what it is from the menu.

But there's a huge difference between that and what Broomstick and Annie go through every minute of their o so tragic lives.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Yeah, crazy old lady eating a caramel sundae in a park somewhere, likely yelling at pigeons that get too close and sneering at small children. And she wonders why occasionally someone offers to buy her a sandwich.

edit: this calls for some Annie retrosnark when she literally ends up in a psych ward. Good times.

Holy crap. What is it with these old dope threads? They all follow the same pattern:

"I was WRONGED! It was an OUTRAGE! I am suing!"

"You may not want to talk about that here then"

"OP you are so brave and wonderful we have your back!"

"OP you're an idiot and got what you had coming"

[Pro-OP and anti-OP forces battle in the thread for months. No response from OP]

Months later:

"Oh yeah, my case got thrown out because the SYSTEM IS RIGGED But I am still fighting! Not much hope left though..."

[Someone]

It almost makes me think that Donald Trump would fit right in at the Dope. With no regard to whether you agree with him or not, doesn't this sound just like him? "I got elected president -- wonderful, so great, so great! But the lying media and crooked Democrats are teaming up against me to accuse me of COLLUSION! ME! How ridiculous! But not to worry, their witch hunt will never go anywhere."

[Someone]

I want to set a book in the alternate reality of online anecdotes, with both the frequent harassment from strangers and occasional rounds of applause from strangers for telling off an impudent store clerk. (Title is of course THAT HAPPENED)

[Someone]

I miss the giraffedog.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I've never in my life had a random stranger comment on my food, no matter where I was eating it. I'm so glad I don't live where she and Broomstick do.

I've never in my life heard anyone besides Annie and Broomie complain about random strangers saying the things they (alledgedly) say to the "Shit-upon Twins".

[Someone]

More Annie gold, found via a comment Shodan made in the thread expecto linked to.

Originally Posted by Someone

I married my first husband to escape my mother before she ended up killing me.

I divorced my first husband to marry his lover, so said gay guy could get a green card.

This in a thread asking if anyone has deliberately married someone who was not the love of their life.

Link.

[Someone]

Also in the thread expecto linked to, there are several examples of Vinyl Turnip-wannabe elucidator posting normally, actually participating in the thread rather than attempting humor. I don't recall having seen that behavior from him before.

Link to first example.

[Someone]

One wonders if Annie is a reliable witness to the events in her own life.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I've never in my life heard anyone besides Annie and Broomie complain about random strangers saying the things they (alledgedly) say to the "Shit-upon Twins".

Didn't Stoid figure into one of these long drawn-out battles? It was with an ex over a house or seomething?

[Someone]

Stoid did have a long, drawn out legal battle with her ex over a house where she foolishly opted to represent herself and got her ass handed to her in court, but I'm not sure what it has to do with Annie and Broomstick saying people comment on their food?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Didn't Stoid figure into one of these long drawn-out battles? It was with an ex over a house or seomething?

Oh hell yeah.

Here's some of it.

Link.

Motherlode.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Novelty Bobble is a fucking asshat.

He's a non-tipper. And he's the worst kind of non-tipper too. He's not just a cheap ass, he's a cheap ass who's covering up his cheap assness by claiming that by not tipping he's engaged in some sort of moral crusade.

I think this is his first post in the thread. It gets worse from there:

https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...0&postcount=56

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

One wonders if Annie is a reliable witness to the events in her own life.

<Editor Voice> Replace 'wonders if' with 'is certain that', and add a 'not' before 'reliable' and you would have a much better-constructed sentence there. </EV>

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Oh hell yeah.

Here's some of it.

Link.

Motherlode.

The Stoid stuff won't make a lick of sense without understanding the backstory. As far as I can tell, here's the short version for the reason for the fight with the ex over the house:

Stoid and long-term live in bought a house together (speculation on my part). They split up. Let's say the house was worth $100,000 because round numbers are our friends.

They decided to just split up and just sell the house, each getting 50% of the take, after the realtor took their skim off the top.

Stoid changes her mind after a while and says she wants to keep the house. The BF says "Hey, no problem. Just pay me my $50,000 and we're done. I'm happy to cooperate."

< the crazy lawsuit stuff begins riiiiiiiiight here! >

Stoid sez "Uh..no, you cheating louse. You only get $45,000. Not $50,000."

Boyfriend "Dafuq? Why not?"

Stoid "IF we were selling this on the open market with a realtor, they'd take $10,000* so you'd only get $45,000 back. So I'll only pay you $45,000 since that's all you'd get if we sold it through the realtor."

And from there, all...ALL the crazy spun out of control. The cheating lawyer who screwed her, the boyfriend who LIED! The first (or second?) judge who was biased. Or drunk. Or incompetent. Or all of the above. Also, the bunnies with pancakes on their head, the "be-bopping" in the free law library with her walkman after walking 20 blocks in hot humid temperatures....all of it came from her trying to fuck with her boyfriend.



*I made up the $10,000 number. I suspect that's way high. But again, round numbers are our friends.

[Someone]

Is he the guy who invited himself into a rented house and didn't pony up for his share? He told some people something like he planned on just crashing on a park bench to guilt them into inviting him to stay with them, was then appalled they asked for him to contribute something. Combination of cheap and Brit makes me think it might be the same guy.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I have, a few times. I've occasionally had people quietly ask me what it was that I'd ordered because it looked/smelled good and they'd like to order it as well. I've done the same to other people if it's not obvious what it is from the menu.

But there's a huge difference between that and what Broomstick and Annie go through every minute of their o so tragic lives.

>>>>>>

WHY, YOU HAIRY SON OF A THROW RUG! I OUGHTTA...

Yeah, I've done/heard the "that looks good" thing, but I've never had anyone demanding to know why I wasn't eating Foodstuff X and trying to buy me food because I'm eating the "wrong" thing.