Snark Sauce: Durpz 57

Someone · #1 27th March 2015, 05:10 AM

Yeah, yeah, the title sucks. Live with it, and embrace the suckitude, bee-atches, and don't waste the first two pages bitching about it.

Someone · #2 27th March 2015, 05:33 AM

But it's tradition!

Someone · #3 27th March 2015, 05:33 AM

Krafty!

Someone · #4 27th March 2015, 05:47 AM

I support this thread title.

Someone · #5 27th March 2015, 05:54 AM

Meanwhile, in the "actual snark" category, I believe we should start out with this excellent post from near the end of the previous thread:

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Originally Posted by Someone

I don't think this gem in the europe-begging thread has had enough love. Genius.

Someone · #6 27th March 2015, 08:10 AM

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Originally Posted by Someone

Meanwhile, in the "actual snark" category, I believe we should start out with this excellent post from near the end of the previous thread:

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Originally Posted by Someone

I don't think this gem in the europe-begging thread has had enough love. Genius.

I gave it a rating of "Gold" which is, of course the penultimate snark rating, second only to "Priceless."

Someone · #7 27th March 2015, 06:34 AM

Snark like an Egyption

Someone · #8 27th March 2015, 08:02 AM

A bit of retro snark for your dining pleasure here at lunchtime: Carol Stream (aka Brian) whines about G-Factor laughing at him here at the Geeb.

Brian is such a twat.

Someone · #9 27th March 2015, 08:07 AM

Thank Christ. That last thread got crazy at the end. Dead bunnies! Math! Wizard penis! Math!

Someone · #10 27th March 2015, 08:44 AM

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Originally Posted by Someone

Thank Christ. That last thread got crazy at the end. Dead bunnies! Math! Wizard penis! Math!

You said math twice.

Someone · #11 27th March 2015, 09:17 AM

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Originally Posted by Someone

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Originally Posted by Someone

Thank Christ. That last thread got crazy at the end. Dead bunnies! Math! Wizard penis! Math!

You said math twice.

Which is why the UK calls it "maths".

Someone · #12 27th March 2015, 09:18 AM

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Originally Posted by Someone

Thank Christ. That last thread got crazy at the end. Dead bunnies! Math! Wizard penis! Math!

That's actually the ingredient list for Shagnasty's world-famous gumbo.

Someone · #13 27th March 2015, 09:20 AM

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Originally Posted by Someone

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Originally Posted by Someone

Thank Christ. That last thread got crazy at the end. Dead bunnies! Math! Wizard penis! Math!

That's actually the ingredient list for Shagnasty's world-famous gumbo.

Sounds like a witches brew to me!

My god, what have we done?!

Someone · #14 27th March 2015, 10:03 AM

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Originally Posted by Someone

A bit of retro snark for your dining pleasure here at lunchtime: Carol Stream (aka Brian) whines about G-Factor laughing at him here at the Geeb.

Brian is such a twat.

I liked Carol's reply to BigT in the thread.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...2&postcount=42

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Who the hell are you, and why should I take your advice?

Someone · #15 27th March 2015, 09:19 AM

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Originally Posted by Ludovic
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Originally Posted by Guinastasia
I read it, althought I didn't click on the links. (Yes, I've seen the "Wizard's Staff" photo. No, I do not want to see it again)

A wizard is never late, nor is he early, he comes precisely when he means to.
You shall not ass!

A wizard's staff has a knob on the end.

Someone · #16 27th March 2015, 09:58 AM

your mom

Someone · #17 27th March 2015, 10:06 AM

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Originally Posted by Someone

Thank Christ. That last thread got crazy at the end. Dead bunnies! Math! Wizard penis! Math!

I was kind of sorry we were approaching the end of the thread. I do enjoy the retro-snark.

FWIW, I started feeling a bit sorry for DocCathode too, given his mental problems, and felt a little bad for snarking on his penis picture, but you know what? It's been 7 years. If he had any regrets in all that time, he could have just taken down the picture. If he couldn't do that for some reason, he could have asked the mods to remove the link.* He wants people looking at it, and it's pretty sad that he still hasn't realized how utterly ridiculous the picture is.

* yeah, I know that the policy is "you posted it, you're stuck with it, but they probably would have had some sympathy if he asked years after the fact. Or maybe not.

Someone · #18 27th March 2015, 10:26 AM

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Originally Posted by Someone

your mom

My mom's DEAD!!!

We couldn't afford her A/C.

Someone · #19 27th March 2015, 10:28 AM

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Originally Posted by Someone

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Originally Posted by Someone

your mom

My mom's DEAD!!!

We couldn't afford her A/C.

The rest of us got her "a" and "c" for nothing.

Someone · #20 27th March 2015, 10:15 AM

Do we know that Carol Stream and Brian are the same person?

I kind of miss Brian.

Someone · #21 27th March 2015, 10:38 AM

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Originally Posted by Someone

I kind of miss Brian.

I know that Giraffe really likes his boxing system, but this post proves some ideas are so loathesome that they merit an instant banning.

Someone · #22 27th March 2015, 04:30 PM

Not one of my finer moments.

(Why don't we have a red-faced smiley here?) No, forget that. It was a full on fuck up, and I got a well-deserved ass kicking for it.

I will say I wasn't so much defending Cathode as I was the notion that his actions were out of laziness -- OCD can cause a person to do some really fucked up things. And what's more, you KNOW they're irrational, but you can't stop doing them. I hope the dude got help with the dishes thing. Not that doesn't mean Cathode isn't a fucking creep.

I really get the impression that Skywatcher still isn't sorry for what he actually did, or just doesn't understand why people were so upset. He keeps coming up with new excuses for why he did it, or repeating the same ones over and over and over. If he'd just laugh it off, or ignore it all together, people would forget about it. I don't even care if he mentions that he was depressed at the time, if he'd just stop using it as an excuse.

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Originally Posted by Someone

Do we know that Carol Stream and Brian are the same person?

I kind of miss Brian.

So not only does she have man-hands, but she also smells like asparagus pee?

Someone · #23 27th March 2015, 05:48 PM

Guin and lobstermobster fighting? That sounds like a Nonny's worst nightmare.

Does anyone know what this is all about? I can't say that I have ever noticed anything about Sun Jester, good or bad.

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Originally Posted by Someone

The Great Sun Jester

Oh the guy that longingly fantasizes about killing all his coworkers and driving his ex-wife to suicide is disgusted by my morals? How quaint.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...2&postcount=19

Someone · #24 27th March 2015, 06:01 PM

Previously unknown poster get lives is angry that he is not allowed to smile at babies. So mad he mentions it twice. I'm really getting a vibe here that get lives should not, in fact, be allowed around babies at all.

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I can't even smile at children when I'm out in public without my family. Women look at me like I'm a criminal. Yeah, I'm talking to you, every woman under the age of 50 who's reading this.

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Originally Posted by Someone

Try being a man. I can't even smile at cute little babies in public unless I'm with my family. I get looked at like I'm a criminal if I do. And I'm not scary-looking;I'm thin, clean, well-groomed (within the usual range of lazy men), and slightly shorter than average. That doesn't mean anything, though.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...4&postcount=74

He'll fit right in at the Dope.

Someone · #25 27th March 2015, 06:17 PM

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Originally Posted by Someone

Previously unknown poster get lives is angry that he is not allowed to smile at babies. So mad he mentions it twice. I'm really getting a vibe here that get lives should not, in fact, be allowed around babies at all.

Get Lives has been all over the place recently. Apparently, based on what I've read, he(?) is a

really pissed off

18 year old hippie. The type that uses the word "sheeple" un-ironically.

Someone · #26 27th March 2015, 08:36 PM

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Originally Posted by Someone

Guin and lobstermobster fighting? That sounds like a Nonny's worst nightmare.

Does anyone know what this is all about? I can't say that I have ever noticed anything about Sun Jester, good or bad.

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Originally Posted by Someone

The Great Sun Jester

Oh the guy that longingly fantasizes about killing all his coworkers and driving his ex-wife to suicide is disgusted by my morals? How quaint.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...2&postcount=19

He used to be Inigo Montoya -- does that help?

Someone · #27 28th March 2015, 01:35 AM

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Originally Posted by Someone

He used to be Inigo Montoya -- does that help?

The whole Inigo tries to commit suicide thing must have been during the Pay-To-Post era because I had no idea about any of it until I googled it two minutes ago. Hmm, pretty shitty of pool to pull it out after 11 years. This is why I don't use the same username for years and years.

Someone · #28 27th March 2015, 10:28 AM

Your mom is a bunny?

Someone · #29 27th March 2015, 10:29 AM

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Originally Posted by Someone

Your mom is a bunny?

Playboy.

Someone · #30 27th March 2015, 10:46 AM

In the great Mod Forum Mixup of '14 it was revealed that Brian and Carol "Manhands" Stream (and somebody else whose username I've forgotten but I remember that he was an ass) were one and the same. That was a fun day.

Someone · #31 27th March 2015, 11:14 AM

Skywatcher just is totally clueless, ain't he?

In the ATMB Donations thread, he throws this out:

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Except the reason that nothing was removed from PayPal by me or the lady of the house was in case it turned out we did not need the money, enabling all money to be refunded.

So after saying in an early post that all the money was returned and none of it touched, he turns around and says, as if in defense of his actions, that "We even decided not to touch it because we might not need it." Does he think that makes him sound better?

Someone · #32 27th March 2015, 11:34 AM

Also, add in that as far as we knew/know, it took him "a month or so" to return all the money, per his original thread.

I'm not sure how he's improving his situation. I really was trying to avoid mentioning him by name but the Bunny AC will just never be forgotten.

Someone · #33 27th March 2015, 12:03 PM

Dude really, really, shoulda kept his mouth shut and let it die. (like the bun)

Someone · #34 27th March 2015, 03:48 PM

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Originally Posted by Someone

Dude really, really, shoulda kept his mouth shut and let it die. (like the bun)

Did the bunny really die?

Someone · #35 27th March 2015, 03:49 PM

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Originally Posted by Someone

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Originally Posted by Someone

Dude really, really, shoulda kept his mouth shut and let it die. (like the bun)

Did the bunny really die?

Like the bunny in Fatal Attraction. The air virtually boiled around him.

Someone · #36 27th March 2015, 06:14 PM

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Originally Posted by Someone

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Originally Posted by Someone

Dude really, really, shoulda kept his mouth shut and let it die. (like the bun)

Did the bunny really die?

I AM THE COSMIC FOOL AND I AM ABOUT TO BLOW YOUR MIND with ONE question! [i][u]WAS THERE EVER REALLY A BUNNY OR WAS IT JUST A METAPHOR FOR LUTE SKYWALKER'S INNER CHILD-SELF???

Apparently, based on font and formatting, the Cosmic Fool

is Stoid.

Someone · #37 27th March 2015, 01:06 PM

DrDeth: "It's not a joke, it's an error when someone refers to an actor as another role he played instead of his current one."
He was told to knock it off so he started an ATMB thread about the righteousness of his cause.

Someone · #38 27th March 2015, 01:08 PM

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Originally Posted by Someone

DrDeth: "It's not a joke, it's an error when someone refers to an actor as another role he played instead of his current one."
He was told to knock it off so he started an ATMB thread about the righteousness of his cause.

What a tool.

Someone · #39 27th March 2015, 01:09 PM

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Originally Posted by Someone

DrDeth: "It's not a joke, it's an error when someone refers to an actor as another role he played instead of his current one."
He was told to knock it off so he started an ATMB thread about the righteousness of his cause.

Ah, I wondered what the original version of his NM post was - probably just the draft that turned into the ATMB whinge.

Someone · #40 27th March 2015, 01:15 PM

And he pulled out the "fighting ignorance" nonsense again. He apparently is really into self-flagellation.

Someone · #41 27th March 2015, 01:21 PM

On one hand, I think that referring to a character on a tv show by the name of a previous character that the actor played is massively retarded. That said, it's not that big of a deal and acting like a bitch about it is crazily out of line.

Someone · #42 27th March 2015, 01:19 PM

If I didn't know any better, I'd say DD was trolling.

Someone · #43 27th March 2015, 01:24 PM

Though it makes sense. His character was just introduced, so there's little time to really absorb the name. Hence, you call him out by a character that everyone knows him for as a shorthand. It's not a big fucking deal or uncommon at all.

What a weirdo.

Someone · #44 27th March 2015, 01:37 PM

It just a quirk that annoyed me at TWoP. I don't watch very many tv shows so it's more likely to confuse me than help but, of course, that's my problem, not theirs.

Someone · #45 27th March 2015, 02:54 PM

I predict some sort of spectacular meltdown for DrDeth pretty soon.

Someone · #46 27th March 2015, 03:05 PM

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Originally Posted by Someone

I predict some sort of spectacular meltdown for DrDeth pretty soon.

Game of Thrones starts up again in two weeks so you can probably count on it.

Someone · #47 27th March 2015, 03:20 PM

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Originally Posted by Someone

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I predict some sort of spectacular meltdown for DrDeth pretty soon.

Game of Thrones starts up again in two weeks so you can probably count on it.

HER NAME ISN'T SARAH CONNOR!!! IT'S CERSEI LANNISTER!!! THOSE ARE THE F-F-FA-FACTS!!!!!

Someone · #48 27th March 2015, 03:30 PM

DocCathode is the same guy who posted about how his sink is full of rotting dishes because he's compelled to clean them a certain way, but he doesn't have the energy to clean them because of his OCD or depression or something. some posters picked on him (understandably so) and Guin opened probably the most blatant "let's you and him fight" pit thread I've ever seen in defense of him. (sorry Guin but it's true)

I'm having technical difficulties so I can't provide a link to said pit thread but the title is "lobstermobster, stick to flipping off little kids" if you Google it should be the first hit.

that sex fantasy involving the gun is fucked. I actually feel kind of sorry for the guy, he seems to have a lot of problems. I wonder if those dishes are still in his sink.

Someone · #49 28th March 2015, 10:45 AM

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Originally Posted by Someone

DocCathode is the same guy who posted about how his sink is full of rotting dishes because he's compelled to clean them a certain way, but he doesn't have the energy to clean them because of his OCD or depression or something. some posters picked on him (understandably so) and Guin opened probably the most blatant "let's you and him fight" pit thread I've ever seen in defense of him. (sorry Guin but it's true)

I'm having technical difficulties so I can't provide a link to said pit thread but the title is "lobstermobster, stick to flipping off little kids" if you Google it should be the first

Fab retro snark.

Whatever happened to Lobstermobster?

Someone · #50 27th March 2015, 03:08 PM

And Little Nemo blows DrDeth outta the water with this:

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Originally Posted by Someone

People knew the character's name on that show isn't Adama. They were just making jokes about it. So you weren't fighting ignorance. You were being this guy.