Durphouse 90: Brought to you by Snark - available in Unfiltered and Menthol.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I seriously think BigT would be an asset, if he'd accept the "job".

Agree 100%. Give him a free charter membership and custom title or something, and he could handle the day-to-day annoying stuff, add a few optional skins and avatars, so Ed wouldn't have to hear about it.

But no damn Like button. The Durp has standards, apparently

[Someone]

I approve, on the condition that his username must be changed to BigTuba.

[Someone]

And the custom title "TechnoTard".

[Someone]

But could he do that without some mod/admin powers?
:shudder:

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

But could he do that without some mod/admin powers?
:shudder:

Having boxes and buttons to push that do modmin things is not the same as having authority to use them to spank users for 'BigTard Morality' violations. It could work as long as he's told in no uncertain terms that he has no modmin authority and will be spanked if he tries to enforce 'rules'.

[Someone]

You'll all be pleased to hear that aceplace57, who is quite perturbed over the coming robot revolution that will wreak havoc on fast food career opportunities, is nearing retirement.

No doubt a large portion of his newfound spare time will be devoted to the Derp, so prepare yourselves for an Acey poststorm.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

The SAG-AFTRA videogame strike thread has been bumped...

Originally Posted by Someone

I looked at the last page of thread, and I can't tell who is taking what side. It's typical Doper bickering, with long, point-by-point rebuttals and "why are you distorting my argument" and "oh, so you've changed your position now" and so forth.

Originally Posted by Someone

Yeah, that's what makes it so tiring. Bricker's opinion...

At this point, I think Bricker is just trolling Banquet Bear:

Originally Posted by Someone

What part of I'm not fucking psychic, I'm not going to make a prediction, I'm not a fucking idiot, I'm not your fucking monkey, did you honestly fail to understand?

Successfully, too. Wound him up and got him dancing really good!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Having boxes and buttons to push that do modmin things is not the same as having authority to use them to spank users for 'BigTard Morality' violations. It could work as long as he's told in no uncertain terms that he has no modmin authority and will be spanked if he tries to enforce 'rules'.

Because that worked SO well with QED over on the Dumbo board.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Because that worked SO well with QED over on the Dumbo board.

The difference with BigTard is that "The Durp is My LIFE!!!". The threat of banning if he abuses the buttons will have him hiding under his bed in fear.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I'm amazed they haven't pulled the plug by now.

I'm beginning to suspect they already have, and the wreckage that's left is just Ed's little side hobby that runs on his laptop.

[Someone]

Nothing turns my stomach quicker than reading about aruvqan vomiting in her pasta pot.

[Someone]

gross dude

[Someone]

I just puke in a colander. Easy clean up afterwards.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Sigh, he has to do his duty yet AGAIN!

Drunky Smurf: "Truly you are the Jesus of our times."

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

The difference with BigTard is that "The Durp is My LIFE!!!". The threat of banning if he abuses the buttons will have him hiding under his bed in fear.

Except you're dealing with Li'l Ed here. As soon as he figured out BigTard actually knew how to do things he would be so in awe of his Incredible Tech Skills (remember Jerry?) that BigTard would be untouchable. Imagine the descent into madness once BigTard figured out what he could do.

So all in all, I'm in favor of it. It'd be loads of snark fun.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I just puke in a colander. Easy clean up afterwards.

And you get to save the chunks.

[Someone]

Hey, leave my dog out of this!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Nothing turns my stomach quicker than reading about aruvqan vomiting in her pasta pot.

How about aruvqan's bamboo bras?

Originally Posted by Someone

I got a couple for Christmas, I use them as sleep bras when Fred, Ethyl and Ricky act up [yes, I did name my breast cysts, doesn't everyone? Still waiting to get a second one on the right side so I can name it Lucy ]

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...8&postcount=23

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

So all in all, I'm in favor of it. It'd be loads of snark fun.

[Someone]

START THREAD 91 RIGHT NOW FENRIS YOU FURRY KNUCKLEHEAD

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

You'll all be pleased to hear that aceplace57, who is quite perturbed over the coming robot revolution that will wreak havoc on fast food career opportunities, is nearing retirement.

I took note of this:

Originally Posted by Someone

I'm getting close to retirement. Life got very quiet at home after our kids left. I occupy my time studying and practicing music. I can burn through several hours a day that way.

Translation: "Evenings at Casa Acey are already maddeningly quiet. The only sound is the thrashing of mice on glue traps. I bang on my Casio keyboard to fill the empty hours. I can't imagine being alone here 24/7. I'll go mad! Mad, I say!"

I'm also amused by his musical pursuits. A few days ago he started a thread about how he's attempting to re-create (i.e., plagiarize) a Michael Bublé big-band arrangement of "Jingle Bells" to perform at his church. The only problem is that he doesn't know what a trumpet sounds like.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I took note of this:

Translation: "Evenings at Casa Acey are already maddeningly quiet. The only sound is the thrashing of mice on glue traps. I bang on my Casio keyboard to fill the empty hours. I can't imagine being alone here 24/7. I'll go mad! Mad, I say!"

I'm also amused by his musical pursuits. A few days ago he started a thread about how he's attempting to re-create (i.e., plagiarize) a Michael Bublé big-band arrangement of "Jingle Bells" to perform at his church. The only problem is that he doesn't know what a trumpet sounds like.

He doesn't fart?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Nothing turns my stomach quicker than reading about aruvqan vomiting in her pasta pot.

FTFY

[Someone]

It's weener wrangling time!

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=836280

[Someone]

Architect 2017, descended from Ebenezer Scrooge?

Originally Posted by Someone

Not for nothing but no one is entitled to a gift. Children and people all over should just be happy to have the bare essentials in life. These days with the economy having been shot since Fall of 2008 and the unemployment rate being way higher than what is officially told to us giving gifts isn't an option for people. As I said just be happy with what you have already got because even that could easily be gone first thing tomorrow morning.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...&postcount=106

[Someone]

Some retrosnark that popped into my head when I was reading Acey's latest crap.

Acey: Help me Photoshop this porn random picture I found.

Barbie: To do this successfully, you must have MASTERY of Photoshop and you must be an ARTIST. [He doesn't identify someone with these attributes, because he doesn't have to.]

Doper: Hey, that's a porn picture. [Acey forgot to remove the porn site logo from the image.]

Acey: No, it's not. It's just one of those spam photos you stumble across sometimes. I swear I have no idea where it came from.

[Someone]

Can't seem to load the picture. Please tell me it had a big BRAZZERS logo at the bottom ...

[Someone]

savageteens dot com apparently. We're just lucky he didn't try to explain it away as being one (or more) of his daughter(s).

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Can't seem to load the picture. Please tell me it had a big BRAZZERS logo at the bottom ...

I think Acey deleted his Photobucket account.

IIRC, it was a photo of a fully-dressed woman sitting on a kitchen counter, with a big "Savage Teens" logo in the corner. I remember doing a reverse-image search on the picture; it was a porn model with a Russian name.

[Someone]

You can see the photo in pulykamell's video link. He had the presence of mind to remove the logo.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

You can see the photo in pulykamell's video link. He had the presence of mind to remove the logo.

He sounds like a fag. I question his manhood.





ETA: Yanno, twenty years ago, that joke would have gone over well, but I can't find the stupid movie it came from, and now, twenty years later, it sounds bad. Twenty years ago, that was how you kicked a homophobe in the balls. Now, it makes me look like I deserve to be kicked in those same balls. I really should stop making 20 year old jokes. They don't bloody work, anymore. I'm shriveling up and turning into my grandfather. Please. Kill me now.

[Someone]

So the style-chooser is active and the pre-tampering version is available.
I think I'll ask Ed if his offshore contractor can whip up a few more variations so we have a whole menu.

[Someone]

Ah, yes. Back to what passes for normal. And that damn up arrow and floating forum box are gone.

[Someone]

Am I missing something? Because I'm not seeing a style picker in the page nav bar nor in User CP. I even disabled NoScript but nothing shows up.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Am I missing something? Because I'm not seeing a style picker in the page nav bar nor in User CP. I even disabled NoScript but nothing shows up.

Click your user name and scroll down.

[Someone]

Nada. And when I go to User CP > Options and scroll down to where it SAYS different skins are available, it just says Forum: and nothing, no drop down, no link, nothing.

[Someone]

Weirdness....

[Someone]

Then again I have the Durp locked down so hard I have to unblock three or four levels to get it to what most people see--thought I had them all disabled but who knows what fuckery exists in that pee smelling heckhole.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

So the style-chooser is active and the pre-tampering version is available.
I think I'll ask Ed if his offshore contractor can whip up a few more variations so we have a whole menu.

How about asking for the old rolleyes smiley?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

He sounds like a fag. I question his manhood.




ETA: Yanno, twenty years ago, that joke would have gone over well, but I can't find the stupid movie it came from, and now, twenty years later, it sounds bad. Twenty years ago, that was how you kicked a homophobe in the balls. Now, it makes me look like I deserve to be kicked in those same balls. I really should stop making 20 year old jokes. They don't bloody work, anymore. I'm shriveling up and turning into my grandfather. Please. Kill me now.

You sound like a fag. I question your manhood.

[Someone]

If that's the unfiltered self-awareness, can I have mine in menthol?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

If that's the unfiltered self-awareness, can I have mine in menthol?

KOOL

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

You sound like a fag. I question your manhood.

That was the exact quote. Do you remember what movie or tv show that came from? It was some guy with a German accent, but that's all I remember of it.

ETA: The guy in the movie/tv show was basically Shagnasty, doing his "I'm TOTALLY hetero, ya'know! Here, I'll prove it by staring at that guy's knob, and not immediately gobbling it... See? Totally hetero!" bit.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Agree 100%. Give him a free charter membership and custom title or something, and he could handle the day-to-day annoying stuff, add a few optional skins and avatars, so Ed wouldn't have to hear about it.

But no damn Like button. The Durp has standards, apparently

You would need a full Admin account to do those things and, either by accident or on purpose, could totally destroy the board in a matter of minutes. I highly doubt that BigT would do that but it's not a chance anyone could take with a poster that isn't an employee and Zotti doesn't know personally. Imagine trying to explain to the bosses that things were fubared because they let some random guy have the keys to change the bars between posts to a more pleasent shade of gray.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Imagine trying to explain to the bosses that things were fubared because they let some random guy have the keys to change the bars between posts to a more pleasent shade of gray.

And this differs from what Little Ed (and his 'overseas contractor') is doing to the board right now, how?

[Someone]

Oh, I didn't realize you need full admin privileges for that stuff.

I can't see BigT doing a Marley, but I can see it making him more insufferable: "You're lucky I'm only an admin so that I can make tweaks to the board software, otherwise I'd suspend or ban you for that."

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

And this differs from what Little Ed (and his 'overseas contractor') is doing to the board right now, how?

The contactors are an actual company who work for the larger organization. They were contracted by the parent company to do a bunch of other things and this is a very small side project for them. Ed didn't hire them.

[Someone]

Also, Ed doesn't seem all that invested in the board, at least emotionally. We've all seen BigT lose his shit more than once over there because he just cares so much. I wouldn't trust him to not make rash decisions if he has another "I'm so upset I can't sleep and it's your fault!" incident.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

The contactors are an actual company who work for the larger organization.

In other words, they're being paid to fuck it up. So's Ed. That makes all the difference. Can't let anyone fuck it up for free, now, can they?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I wouldn't trust him to not make rash decisions if he has another "I'm so upset I can't sleep and it's your fault!" incident.

You have a good point, there.