149: I like Durp Snark and I cannot lie. You other brothers can't deny.

[Someone]

Years later, we ended up with this. And indeed, dude turned out to be a troll, if I'm not mistaken.

(Yeah, I was an asshole, I admit. But this was after umkay, and how many other sympathy trolls?)

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Huh, I can't even find his account here anymore. [I did find this bloke, but he predates Dio's Dope banning]

https://www.giraffeboards.com/member.php?u=413

[Someone]

I wonder how many legitimate new users the derp has gotten in the last year. I'll bet it's pretty low.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Years later, we ended up with this. And indeed, dude turned out to be a troll, if I'm not mistaken.

(Yeah, I was an asshole, I admit. But this was after umkay, and how many other sympathy trolls?)

Yes, you were. And why would you care about umkay unless you had actually fallen for s/he/it's trolling? If you don't buy into the story, you don't have to kick yourself when it turns out to be a troll. And if you don't buy into the story, there's no reason to kick the troll (or not) in the first place. DNFTT, after all. Avoiding kicking a troll in the teeth is a small price to pay for avoiding kicking a real person in the teeth.

The trolls eventually get their teeth mouth-guards kicked (after getting the attention they wanted, of course, and so don't mind at all) but the real people get their teeth kicked. If you think the sob-story's a troll, leave it alone.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Not sure if I'm killing kittens but I did tell people they were idiots and suggest they go whine about shit they can easily ignore in the Amber Alert thread. JFC how hard is it to let people mourn and take a few minutes to remember what colossal assholes we've been to the entire fucking world?

No worries. I meant the ones who were going, "I care less about 9/11 observances than you do, and I'm going to post a multiparagraph diatribe explaining why."

[Someone]

9/11 in Canada has a large component of "Newfies are so awesome", because of the whole Gander emergency landing thing, which is mostly human interest glurge.

[Someone]

So is anyone following the clusterfuck called 'Trolls R Us redux' in the Pit? There are hundreds of recent posts and I'd rather someone else suffer through it and report back.

[Someone]

Last I looked it was a SrBeef/BigT wordstorm.

[Someone]

Mostly it's people having the same argument with Max_Stupid about his post apocalyptic rape thread over and over. Because he'll have a sudden epiphany if they make the same point a zillion jillion squillion +1 times.

[Someone]

I glanced over it and the first thing I saw was BigT explaining at length why he writes such long posts. He says that he really, really tries to make his posts shorter, but it's really, really hard because he has a lot of important points to make, and people "take him to task" if he leaves things out. Also, trying to make posts shorter is exhausting, you guys! Eventually he gets tired of this thankless, Sisyphean task and gives up. And anyway, why does everyone assume that longer posts are inherently bad?

ETA: If you sincerely believe that BigT tries to make his posts shorter, contact me for a fantastic investment opportunity!

[Someone]

Senor Queef is outwording Big Turd big time--between the two of them I expect the world supply of letters will be drastically curtailed in no time.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

So is anyone following the clusterfuck called 'Trolls R Us redux' in the Pit? There are hundreds of recent posts and I'd rather someone else suffer through it and report back.

Atamasama has started a new Trolls R Us thread.

Originally Posted by Someone

I don’t have any trolls to report but we’ve completely lost our last troll thread, so I’m hoping we can start again with a new one while the old one devolves into the same group of people bickering.

If you see any actual trolling going on, this is where to discuss it.

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tr...ctions/950518?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

So is anyone following the clusterfuck called 'Trolls R Us redux' in the Pit? There are hundreds of recent posts and I'd rather someone else suffer through it and report back.

I'll get back to it when I get a Round Tuit.

Don't hold your breath. Please, no one send me one of those... I'll likely throw it at you... Aiming to kill...

[Someone]

I assumed that the 'Trolls R Us' goings on were a stress test of Discourse's infinite scrolling capabilities by helpful volunteers; I'm surprised to learn here that it is actual arguments. Did they determine yet if raping people is okay?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I assumed that the 'Trolls R Us' goings on were a stress test of Discourse's infinite scrolling capabilities by helpful volunteers; I'm surprised to learn here that it is actual arguments. Did they determine yet if raping people is okay?

I believe the consensus is rape is OK only if you're the very last person on earth.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

So is anyone following the clusterfuck called 'Trolls R Us redux' in the Pit? There are hundreds of recent posts and I'd rather someone else suffer through it and report back.

After the Max stuff I tried to get back "on track" by pointing out some recent DemonTree trolling (with me as the target), but for some weird reason QuickSilver decided to defend her and it expanded from there.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Atamasama has started a new Trolls R Us thread.

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tr...ctions/950518?

Off to see if anyone's said "why did you start a new thread? We already have a thread about that!" Because someone always does whenever someone tries to break off from one of the omnibus threads.

[Someone]

Not yet. I'm surprised.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

After the Max stuff I tried to get back "on track" by pointing out some recent DemonTree trolling (with me as the target), but for some weird reason QuickSilver decided to defend her and it expanded from there.

…aaaaand DickSliver has just made my ignore list.

[Someone]

C'mon, QuickSilver is giving a clinic on how to sealion we should praise him not bury throw fish at him!

[Someone]

Cannonkuo with yet another overly-specific question about some obscure aspect of the Falkland Islands conflict. I'm not even sure why this annoys me -- he's just trying to learn more about foreign affairs, and he's unfailingly polite and appreciative for the responses he gets. Honestly I should pity him because his entire understanding of US foreign policy is going to be based off of Dopers' baseless speculation and personal screeds.

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wh...ndition/950541

[Someone]

Skywatcher believes that he saw an alternate ending to Big version of Star Wars. Dopers tell him that memories from 44 years ago are unreliable, but he's not having it and digs in his heels. Oh, and he also mentions that he was nine years old at the time. Starts here.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Cannonkuo with yet another overly-specific question about some obscure aspect of the Falkland Islands conflict. I'm not even sure why this annoys me -- he's just trying to learn more about foreign affairs, and he's unfailingly polite and appreciative for the responses he gets. Honestly I should pity him because his entire understanding of US foreign policy is going to be based off of Dopers' baseless speculation and personal screeds.

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wh...ndition/950541

Yah, something's not quite right about that account. It previously caught my attention by "just asking questions" of the Derp about Taiwan and independence when you think it would already have a pretty firm, and much better founded, opinion on the matter seeing as it is allegedly posting from Taipei...

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Cannonkuo with yet another overly-specific question about some obscure aspect of the Falkland Islands conflict.

That is definitely the most esoteric and narrowly-focused OP I've ever seen on the Dope.

No replies yet, although I'm a little disappointed that I_Love_Me hasn't stomped in there to complain about the acronyms.

[Someone]

You know what? I was gonna let it slide, but in the midst of an at times contentious but not completely off the rails (for a pit thread) discussion about 9/11 observances, glowacks (that’s not a parody name—it's the monicker they gave themselves) chimes in to express concern for all the valuable property lost that day. The real reason we must never forget 9/11.

Won’t someone please think of the architecture?!

[Someone]

I don't even know how to respond to this bit of twaddle:

Originally Posted by Someone

9/11 saved the 2nd bush presidency otherwise he was going down in the same manner his father did although it would of made 2008 intresting becuase of the recession which some say they knew was coming .....

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fu...es/950510/112?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I don't even know how to respond to this bit of twaddle:

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fu...es/950510/112?

That doesn't seem that crazy. Without 9/11, Bush may well have been a one-term prez.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

You know what? I was gonna let it slide, but in the midst of an at times contentious but not completely off the rails (for a pit thread) discussion about 9/11 observances, glowacks (that’s not a parody name—it's the monicker they gave themselves) chimes in to express concern for all the valuable property lost that day. The real reason we must never forget 9/11.

Won’t someone please think of the architecture?!

Oh, yes, the real tragedy is that some real estate holdings company made up of kazillionaires suffered a loss

The only tragedy of architechture from 9-11 is this thing.

[Someone]

although it would of made 2008 intresting becuase

Do ANY of these people EVER say (in meatspace) something like "Can I of some cookies and milk?" So WHY in the Unholy Name of Fyck do they continue to use this mindless nonsensical construction? Esp. Dopers who should know better?

[Someone]

Because the common contraction "would've" sounds like "would of". "Can I have" doesn't sound like "Can I of".

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

The only tragedy of architechture from 9-11 is this thing.

What the hell is it?

[Someone]

It is a giant sculpture called To the Struggle Against World Terrorism and was a "gift" from the Russian government to the USA as a 9-11 memorial. It's located in Bayonne, NJ because Jersey City refused to have a giant hoo-ha dominating its skyline.

Wikipedia

[Someone]

Looking at it, I think they mounted it upside down. If you squint and stand on one leg, it looks something like a ball in the middle of two columns.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

OK, point. If I picked up a novel based on what's actually happened, I wouldn't get past chapter one.

No kidding.

I keep telling people, I had no idea that Zombie Apocalypse movies were virtual allegorical documentaries. After years of sneering that "no way would people be so suicidally stupid...."

[Someone]

Upside down would definitely be better. Because then it would look like two columns with a ball in the middle.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

It is a giant sculpture called To the Struggle Against World Terrorism and was a "gift" from the Russian government to the USA as a 9-11 memorial. It's located in Bayonne, NJ because Jersey City refused to have a giant hoo-ha dominating its skyline.

Wikipedia

They should have thought of that before they made Chris Christie governor.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

What the hell is it?

errr yeah.... what is it...

Originally Posted by Someone

Cannonkuo with yet another overly-specific question about some obscure aspect of the Falkland Islands conflict. I'm not even sure why this annoys me -- he's just trying to learn more about foreign affairs, and he's unfailingly polite and appreciative for the responses he gets. Honestly I should pity him because his entire understanding of US foreign policy is going to be based off of Dopers' baseless speculation and personal screeds.

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wh...ndition/950541

Originally Posted by Someone

Yah, something's not quite right about that account. It previously caught my attention by "just asking questions" of the Derp about Taiwan and independence when you think it would already have a pretty firm, and much better founded, opinion on the matter seeing as it is allegedly posting from Taipei...

Doesn't he feel like that strange possibly autistic person who asked the super detailed questions in a very similar fashion... what is the name....

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

What the hell is it?

C'mon now, it's obviously an attempt to teach the American male the correct location of the clitoris. We should honor our Russian brethren for their kind concern.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Skywatcher believes that he saw an alternate ending to Big version of Star Wars. Dopers tell him that memories from 44 years ago are unreliable, but he's not having it and digs in his heels. Oh, and he also mentions that he was nine years old at the time. Starts here.

Thing is, the scene was shot
http://episodenothing.blogspot.com/2...-luke-and.html
https://uk.movies.yahoo.com/star-war...146199962.html

Maybe it was in a trailer or something

[Someone]

Dim_B shares yet another of his scientific 'theories'.

Is Quantum Physics Proof of God?

[Someone]

Physic's claims you'll never know if the cat died until you open the box. Non-physicist just look at the litter box.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Do ANY of these people EVER say (in meatspace) something like "Can I of some cookies and milk?" So WHY in the Unholy Name of Fyck do they continue to use this mindless nonsensical construction? Esp. Dopers who should know better?

Because they think "would" must be modified by "of"; rather than that "would have", the conditional perfect, is a variation on "have", the simple perfect.

Even so, they should have had that schooled out of them years ago.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

C'mon now, it's obviously an attempt to teach the American male the correct location of the clitoris. We should honor our Russian brethren for their kind concern.

Once again I am proud not to be American.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

It is a giant sculpture called To the Struggle Against World Terrorism and was a "gift" from the Russian government to the USA as a 9-11 memorial. It's located in Bayonne, NJ because Jersey City refused to have a giant hoo-ha dominating its skyline.

Wikipedia

What, a giant phallus was out of the question? I can almost picture Putin's approval of the "gift", telling his comrades he thinks we're all pussies.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Because they think "would" must be modified by "of"; rather than that "would have", the conditional perfect, is a variation on "have", the simple perfect.

No, it's because of what I said. People type what they hear. They think they're typing out "would've". Nobody on the planet thinks "would must be modified by 'of'".

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Thing is, the scene was shot
http://episodenothing.blogspot.com/2...-luke-and.html
https://uk.movies.yahoo.com/star-war...146199962.html

Maybe it was in a trailer or something

I saw it at a Star Trek convention in the late 70s/early 80s. It wasn't just all trek all the time at the cons, all sorts of sci-fi and fantasy stuff went on. I saw Forbidden Planet outtakes, I ate lembas... Just sayin

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Thing is, the scene was shot

I don't think anyone in that thread is claiming it wasn't shot. It's Skywatcher's detailed memories of something he saw at age 9 that Dopers are skeptical about. It doesn't help that he refuses to even entertain the possibility that his childhood memories are faulty.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Physic's claims you'll never know if the cat died until you open the box. Non-physicist just look at the litter box.

Actually, the "Schrödinger's cat" 'thought experiment', was intended to show that Dunning-Kreuger exemplars trolls like SamuelA are full of shit. I ain't going to get into the physics of it (I was about to, but realized my mistake, almost no one here even knows enough physics to discuss it, Sammy sure doesn't, and the Durp is hardly the place to discuss THAT) because I don't want to deal with that bastard and his 'nanobots', 'freezing brains', and 'ski-lifts' up to the summit of Mt Everest, but the short form upshot is the detector that decides when to whack the cat counts as an observer. It doesn't take God to look in the box to decide the cat's fate. It's been decided before you open the box. Schrödinger was pointing out that your detector was a sufficient observer, and the cat was just a way to kill a poor cat in a pointless experiment. It's not something Physics Phruitcakes have 'discovered' that actual phyisicists have been failing to notice for over a hundred years. It's physics that idiots like Sammy cannot understand.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Once again I am proud not to be American.

Especially since the clitoris is a bit higher up, and even I managed to find it once <or actually more. we won't talk about that, here>... <redacted, not helpful>

[Someone]

Our good friend JimB can't figure out why the lyric in "The Star Spangled Banner"
No refuge could save the hireling and slave,
From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave
could be considered racist by some people.





How does this man put on his socks in the morning?


(The rest of the thread is a debate on what would be a good alternative to our current anthem, so it's not really all that great snark, sorry)