122: Baby Snark Durp Durp Durp Dee Durp

[Someone]

Is the Dope down?

[Someone]

up

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

No, he's trolling us. We've told him umpteen times how to turn off anonymous mode. He just likes to act dumb.

I like how he's painted himself into a corner with just one post. He can come back and either say (1) yeah I'm trolling you guys, or (2) nuh-uh, I really am that dumb!

Oh, and Slate:

[Someone]

Seems like someone’s got a real bug up their ass about Leaffan. They’ve created two throwaways just to call him a cunt.

Soon to be deleted example

Any suspects?

[Someone]

Amazingly, George's linked post by new poster Leaffy the cunt has been cornfielded already.

Dunno how the modes figured it out so quickly with such a subtle username.

As for who, my money's on Guin. Sports rivalries can be brutal like that

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Amazingly, George's linked post by new poster Leaffy the cunt has been cornfielded already.

Dunno how the modes figured it out so quickly with such a subtle username.

As for who, my money's on Guin. Sports rivalries can be brutal like that

Just like anything beautiful, someone always seeks to destroy it. Alas people, when linking to a soon to be disappeared post, copy and effing paste it here. No dinner for you George!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

No, he's trolling us. We've told him umpteen times how to turn off anonymous mode. He just likes to act dumb.

He's an excellent actor. He has me convinced that he's actually that dumb.

[Someone]

I wonder if Leaffan's stalker is Wolfman, the one who got warned for personal insults in that hockey thread.

ETA It looks like we have a reason for the "how to report an abusive PM" thread, too.

[Someone]

In the food fight thread:

Originally Posted by Someone

I think it's a disgusting and, considering the level of hunger in the world, a morally decadent thing to do.

Link

Is she usually this inane? "a morally decadent thing to do". We're talking about kids. She sounds like a self-righteous TV mom reject.

Oh for what it is worth, it is disgusting, but the rest of it, damn.

Damn, later in the thread jz78817 joins her.

[Someone]

Yep. She's a supercilious scold and "self-righteous TV mom reject" is a perfect description.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

You...know you can turn off anonymous mode, right? Scroll down to the bottom left when logged in and you'll see the options. We all know who one another is here. You cannot be this dumb.

He's been told that many times. He never seems to understand. He really is that dumb.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I like how he's painted himself into a corner with just one post. He can come back and either say (1) yeah I'm trolling you guys, or (2) nuh-uh, I really am that dumb!

Oh, and Slate:

Or (3) slink off For now and next time this comes up pretend that this exchange never happened. He never engages in real conversation. See: the incel thread, where he stopped posting as soon as I tried to actually engage him in real conversation rather than troll feeding or making fun of him.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

He's been told that many times. He never seems to understand. He really is that dumb.

Nah, he just knows we get annoyed by it so he pretends not to know. I'm sure he actually has the skin changed and is just pretending.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Nah, he just knows we get annoyed by it so he pretends not to know. I'm sure he actually has the skin changed and is just pretending.

Yet another opportunity to at him does not annoy me. Probably not many others of us, either.

[Someone]

Shodan is just openly owning his fascism now :

I don't want a government controlled by SJWs to tell me what I can say. You presumably don't want a government controlled by fascists telling you what you can say. So we compromise

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Yep. She's a supercilious scold and "self-righteous TV mom reject" is a perfect description.

I'm 98% sure Jasmine has admitted to being male. I remember thinking the same and was shocked to find out she was a he. My memory has been faulty lately which is why I'm not claiming 100%, but I'm pretty confident I'm right.

[Someone]

Ah, had no idea because I tend to ignore him because he's annoying. Any rate, supercilious scold and "self-righteous TV mom reject" still works.

[Someone]

You don't like fascists; he doesn't like SJWs. Why can't we just find a middle ground?

[Someone]

Well known ding-dong Jim B. starts a thread about quantum mechanics.

Derp-fight ensues and it has great potential:

am77494: We need to use eastern philosophy to understand this
Chronos: Nu-uh.
GreenWyvern: What about the Copenhagen interpretation?
am77494: That is stuck in the model made by Greek philosophers
Chronos: It's about math, not philosophy
Nava: Not all jokes work in all western languages
Jasmine: ALL possibilities exist until a choice/action is actually made
KarlGauss: Interaction is a much better word here
tampora: The Gremlin Interpretation





Everyone is riding their own hobby horse and they all argue past each other. I understand jack shit about QM, but it's still entertaining.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Shodan is just openly owning his fascism now :

I'm not a fan of Shodan by any means, but I don't believe he was literally claiming to be a fascist. I think there was an element of sarcasm there.

Originally Posted by Someone

Amazingly, George's linked post by new poster Leaffy the cunt has been cornfielded already.

Dunno how the modes figured it out so quickly with such a subtle username.

As for who, my money's on Guin. Sports rivalries can be brutal like that

Wasn't me. I like Leaffan. Besides, there's no rivalry between Pittsburgh and Toronto.

I'm betting on LC Strawhouse -- that's the dude who was following him around before. He seemed to have a hard on for the Leafs -- particularly Phil Kessel.*






*Although Kessel had the last laugh there.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I'm not a fan of Shodan by any means, but I don't believe he was literally claiming to be a fascist. I think there was an element of sarcasm there.

Wasn't me. I like Leaffan. Besides, there's no rivalry between Pittsburgh and Toronto.

I'm betting on LC Strawhouse -- that's the dude who was following him around before. He seemed to have a hard on for the Leafs -- particularly Phil Kessel.*






*Although Kessel had the last laugh there.

That would be my first guess. He got drunk and thought this would be a great use of his time. Could be wrong, though.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I understand jack shit about QM, but it's still entertaining.

All you need to know about Quantum Mechanics is that the cat is half dead and the Durps are half wits.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

That would be my first guess. He got drunk and thought this would be a great use of his time. Could be wrong, though.

If so, it's a long drunk.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Wasn't me. I like Leaffan. Besides, there's no rivalry between Pittsburgh and Toronto.

I know, I was just teasing.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I know you're just a newb with 16 posts, but yeah, he can be that dumb.

[Someone]

I mean...what? Like, really? Good gods.

[Someone]

He's on a roll...

[Someone]

And there my dumbass went and responded to his leotard thread.
Sometimes I shock myself.

[Someone]

That's cool, I did too, didn't even notice it was the same OP. Damned leotards gave me sartorial PTSD.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Seems like someone’s got a real bug up their ass about Leaffan. They’ve created two throwaways just to call him a cunt.

Soon to be deleted example

Any suspects?

kambuckta, who's in Australia, started a thread to alert the mods to Leaffan's stalker. D'Asshole has to play Captain Obvious:

Originally Posted by Someone

Are some posters not aware of time zones?

Originally Posted by Someone

Well, you posted your complaint at 6:00 am board time. Most of the mods aren't online at that time.

https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...php?p=21948924

https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...php?p=21949054

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I mean...what? Like, really? Good gods.

Does he think afros are hard? Like space helmets or something? How does he think people with afros sleep? Sitting up?

Maybe this is that thing where the parody is so good you can’t tell if it’s parody or real.

[Someone]

:: innocent ::

Don't they get whiplash from walking around in a high wind, too?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

D'Asshole has to play Captain Obvious:

There's a reason D'Bwian has been permaboxed and IPBanned here. The only reason that the Durp PTB haven't flushed him is because they are extremely Troll-tolerant. To a ridiculous degree.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I'm not a fan of Shodan by any means, but I don't believe he was literally claiming to be a fascist. I think there was an element of sarcasm there.

Seems you can recognize sarcasm in Shodan, but not my post.
Would it be better if I said "happy to be on the same side as fascists", Ms Pedant? Fuck off with your "literally".

[Someone]

You and Shodumb both do sarcasm with an equally light touch.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Seems you can recognize sarcasm in Shodan, but not my post.
Would it be better if I said "happy to be on the same side as fascists", Ms Pedant? Fuck off with your "literally".

Why don't you just plain fuck off, asshole. You're literally one of the most tedious SJWs at the durp.

Oh, wait. That's right. You're just sooooo much better than the rest of us. You make BigTurd seem normal...

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I mean...what? Like, really? Good gods.

Well of course the problem with dead people who have Afros is that when you put them in the coffin they SPRING UP like they're really alive, unless you chop off the Afro in the back of their head. I thought everybody knew this. Because their hair is like little coiled springs. BOING.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

And there my dumbass went and responded to his leotard thread.
Sometimes I shock myself.

I could tell that dude a thing or two about what men wear under their tights. But I'll bet he's not interested in what men wear.*

*Dance belts. I had to try and buy one for my son. Who had a 20-inch waist at the time. They go by waist size. But they don't go down to 20-inch waist sizes.

But, gah, leotards. They were a pain. I had forgotten.

PS I don't really pee in the pool!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Why don't you just plain fuck off, asshole.

Feel free to Pit me, motherfucker.

Oh, wait. That's right. You're just sooooo much better than the rest of us.

Nope.

Better than you, though.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

He's on a roll...

And this guy has been there since 2002? Jesus, how did nobody ever notice him before?

[Someone]

You didn't notice him because he comes and goes. In spurts.

He starts lots of threads and usually doesn't return to them. Back in the early 2000s he asked lots of simple computer and tech questions. Then he was absent from 2005 to 2014. He has this weird thing where he appends the word "then" to the end of sentences. Is that a British regionalism?
I'm not sure of a diagnosis. Could be CHI. Could be varying levels of medication success with schizophrenia. Possibly some degree of autism. I have little to no experience with autism but something ain't right with this boy. I present this single sentence...

"Also if it is that or a swimsuit do you have to take it all off or push it down to pee and I notice that leotards tend to be more shiny and made of stronger materials than swimsuits which tend to be a bit less good or sturdy and it could be potentially embarrassing if a gymnast was in a competition and then had to go off somewhere and pee or a swimsuit and take it off but at least it wouldn't be as bad as what happened to Paula Radcliffe during the Athens Olympics when she stopped in the marathon and sat down for a pee and I believe alot of gymnasts put some gel on their skin to prevent the dreaded leotard wedgie so I would like to know if anyone knows anything about this?"

[Someone]

The Leaffan stalker is still making socks. Current one is called "im cute and leaffan is racist', just posting stuff like
"leaffan is lying to you all

he has many accounts
he is a racist little cunt

do not be fooled".

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Well of course the problem with dead people who have Afros is that when you put them in the coffin they SPRING UP like they're really alive, unless you chop off the Afro in the back of their head. I thought everybody knew this. Because their hair is like little coiled springs. BOING.

It's all part of making sure they don't come back as vampires. It's the equivalent to staking a white person through the heart. Plus it's so much easier than topiary-ing the 'fro into coffin shape.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

He has this weird thing where he appends the word "then" to the end of sentences. Is that a British regionalism?

That's a GQ in itself. Maybe check some UK-based boards like Urban75, and see if it's prevalent in some posts? EDIT: It's a British English thing.

It kind of reminds me of how many older Polish-Americans add "there" to the end of sentences, or use it as a filler word. "The Queen of Hearts jackpot there at Perpetual Sorrow's there is up to $12,000 now there."

EDIT: He does ask the weirdest questions. Let's see ...

• I am wondering if anyone here told their parents when they lost their virginity
• Is there any way to tell if a baby has a dirty nappy other than by sniffing around them?
• How do people feel differently after having sex
• What is the truth about having at least one hair on someone's head means they have a full head of ha
• Is sex over-rated or under-rated
• So why does this duck quack when flourescent light is switched off then?
• If someone's head or legs were cut off in a bus crash or similar, sewn on again before burial?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Well of course the problem with dead people who have Afros is that when you put them in the coffin they SPRING UP like they're really alive, unless you chop off the Afro in the back of their head. I thought everybody knew this. Because their hair is like little coiled springs. BOING.

Do they then say “Gotcha Ya?”

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

It kind of reminds me of how many older Polish-Americans add "there" to the end of sentences, or use it as a filler word. "The Queen of Hearts jackpot there at Perpetual Sorrow's there is up to $12,000 now there."

Must be regional, because I never heard that. Around here we get the "negative always/ anymore" ("The weekends are always rainy anymore") and of course coal country lingo is a thing unto itself.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Must be regional, because I never heard that. Around here we get the "negative always/ anymore" ("The weekends are always rainy anymore") and of course coal country lingo is a thing unto itself.

when I lived somewhere (was it Fort Morgan, Colorado?) people always put the anymore at the start of the sentence.
"anymore, the weekends are always rainy"



and I liked the peeing in a leotard thread. dunno if shitting in the hood while snowmobiling was true but I LOL'd.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Must be regional, because I never heard that. Around here we get the "negative always/ anymore" ("The weekends are always rainy anymore") and of course coal country lingo is a thing unto itself.

I enjoyed the coal country speak. i did notice though that some of the phrases/pronunciation were what I think of as ""American" and some seemed pretty universal - like "hafta" for have to. The weirdest one was half day closing, which the author seems to think it was unique to coal country. It used to be common in Britain and I suspect in many places.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

He starts lots of threads and usually doesn't return to them. Back in the early 2000s he asked lots of simple computer and tech questions. Then he was absent from 2005 to 2014. He has this weird thing where he appends the word "then" to the end of sentences.

The really weird thing about it is that he only started doing that when he returned in 2014.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Do they then say “Gotcha Ya?”

No, they say "Fucko off out of my coffin"