137-The snark o'clock whistle's on the blink. We haven't snarked and whadd'ya think? The durp is still on the S-D-M-B, so we don't know what the snark just happens to be.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Fuck you. Welcome to my ignore list.

And you think anyone else cares about this why?

Don't answer that. Bring snark instead.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

By the time you posted that, it had already been clarified for 3 hours that he knew what "absolved" meant and was making a joke based on the lack of the word "anarchy". Point it out as a stupid thread by all means, as it is. The nature of your complaint though indicates you're stupider and have no reading comprehension.

Cochrane brings snark to an increasingly snark starved community. Sometimes it's slim pickings and he's forced to take what semi-snark is available and try to fit it in. Maybe it works, maybe not. Anyway, I appreciate Cochrane and his efforts more than those of a whiny interloper from the derp.

[Someone]

Hear, hear.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Anyway, I appreciate Cochrane and his efforts more than those of a whiny interloper from the derp.

Yep, and in addition Cochrane took on the 'Rona, chewed it up and spit it out. He's the closest I'll ever get to Tom Hanks.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Cochrane brings snark to an increasingly snark starved community. Sometimes it's slim pickings and he's forced to take what semi-snark is available and try to fit it in. Maybe it works, maybe not. Anyway, I appreciate Cochrane and his efforts more than those of a whiny interloper from the derp.

Meh, Cockring time and again posts "snark" that doesn't mean what he thinks and just shows his feeble reading comprehension. This particular one is more egregious than most but not particularly unusual.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Yep, and in addition Cochrane took on the 'Rona, chewed it up and spit it out. He's the closest I'll ever get to Tom Hanks.

And I still have to win two Oscars before I'm finished.

[Someone]

Your complaint seems to be more personal towards Cochrane than to his contribution to this board. That makes you come across as trolling.

[Someone]

Say, didn’t someone mention something about a Pit on this board?

:chin scratch:

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Fuck you. Welcome to my ignore list.

I'd join you in that, but I think this one is dumb enough to provide a little entertainment before I kick it to the curb.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Cochrane brings snark to an increasingly snark starved community. Sometimes it's slim pickings and he's forced to take what semi-snark is available and try to fit it in. Maybe it works, maybe not. Anyway, I appreciate Cochrane and his efforts more than those of a whiny interloper from the derp.

We are starved for snark.

[Someone]

Ow, we want the snark

Gotta have some snark

We're gonna turn this durper out

La da da daa da

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Sometimes it's slim pickings

YEEEEEE-HAW!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

We are starved for snark.

Durpee, Durpee, Durpee, I got snark in my tummy!

Damn, that ought to be the title of this thread...

[Someone]

Not really snark, but it's kind of a cool story.

My wife ran into someone online she last saw 72 years ago

Guess the poster...(the age is the clue)

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my...ars-ago/921259

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Ow, we want the snark

Gotta have some snark

We're gonna turn this durper out

La da da daa da

I hope it doesn't take an act of Parliament to get new snark.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Sometimes it's slim pickings

You called?

[Someone]

Yes, we need noo nark. Also, please tell Jimmy Dean his croissant breakfast sandwich is da bomb.

[Someone]

Yes, go get snark. Now, before Giraffe decides that downgrading to Discourse would be an appropriate punishment.

[Someone]

I dunno. What retro snark haven't we revisited for awhile? Let's talk about that.

[Someone]

Gee, I sure miss old FreakFreely.

[Someone]

One of the very first threads I read on the SDMB back in 2004 was one from the pit. Somebody was bitching about receiving a birthday card from another doper that didn't include a personal message and they were pissed enough to whine in the pit, but without actually naming the doper that didn't sign the birthday card. It was a fun, happy pit thread until someone mentioned they knew who she was talking about, and that person had some kind of disability that made it extremely difficult to hold a pen.

I know this was a real, actual thread that I didn't misremember because I was high...because back in 2004 I didn't weedilate very often. But like I said, it was one of the first threads I ever read and I wasn't really committing usernames to memory at that point. Anyone know what I'm talking about?

[Someone]

Some interesting snark from an unknown derper from last century.

Damn Bitch, Why Should I Take a Shower, We Are Not Having Sex

TJ555_The_Golfer April 13, 2003, 12:14am

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/da...ing-sex/168350

Originally Posted by Someone

My friend is coming over and wants me to take a shower before she gets here. I asked if we were going to have sex, she said no. So I asked, “Bitch, why I should take a shower?” She said it would be nice.

By the way I took a shower yesterday and do not smell foul.

Well, I’m off to take a shower

.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

One of the very first threads I read on the SDMB back in 2004 was one from the pit. Somebody was bitching about receiving a birthday card from another doper that didn't include a personal message and they were pissed enough to whine in the pit, but without actually naming the doper that didn't sign the birthday card. It was a fun, happy pit thread until someone mentioned they knew who she was talking about, and that person had some kind of disability that made it extremely difficult to hold a pen.

I know this was a real, actual thread that I didn't misremember because I was high...because back in 2004 I didn't weedilate very often. But like I said, it was one of the first threads I ever read and I wasn't really committing usernames to memory at that point. Anyone know what I'm talking about?

This one is kinda awkward.

The doper complaining about the birthday card was Flamsterette_X. She was (deservedly) pitted for it, here, and there's a link to the original thread in there but it doesn't work.

The card was sent by a disabled Doper by the name of John, who a lot of posters in the thread seemed familiar with, but I don't know who he was or what his screen name was.

This got brought up in one of these threads awhile back, and ryevermouthbitters, who was a friend of his, told us John had since passed and he'd be embarrassed to know this was still being discussed, and asked us to drop the subject, so we did.

[Someone]

Damn, Flamsterette was a bitch.

[Someone]

Flamsterette also referred to a lesbian doper as a "degenerate".

[Someone]

The two attributes, lesbian and degenerate, aren't mutually exclusive *ahem* but if she was referring to the degenerate's sexual orientation as the quality that deserves that description, well yeah, that's not a very nice or mannerly thing at all.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

The two attributes, lesbian and degenerate, aren't mutually exclusive *ahem* but if she was referring to the degenerate's sexual orientation as the quality that deserves that description, well yeah, that's not a very nice or mannerly thing at all.

That’s of course what it was. She described someone as a degenerate because she was gay.

[Someone]

Geeze, that would sort of take the wind out of all my other degenerate accomplishments, then.

[Someone]

You go on with your own degenerate self, girl!

[Someone]

How about this for some snark:

The Right to Choose; a given or a taken?

A very oddly framed OP, followed by an even more oddly framed (and pretentious) defense of the OP:

Originally Posted by Someone

Some Things
Just need repeating
until heard

Line breaks in the original. Is it because this d-bag thinks that makes it seem poetic, or is it just for emphasis? Seriously, shut the fuck up...

ETA: Ah, and I see this guy has a history (all two months of it for what it's worth) of asking stupid questions:

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/th...purpose/919393
https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is...e-to-it/917041

Makes me wonder if "he" is a bot or something. Particularly the way they insert links into those last couple posts (thread topics they started).

ETA2: And, on further review, I see he's posted "Somethings just need repeating until heard" in several threads, completely unrelated to any context.

[Someone]

Fun fact: There's a band called Ellen Degenerates.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

That’s of course what it was. She described someone as a degenerate because she was gay.

And the "degenerate" was a very well-liked poster and a good person so all it did was make Flami look like more of a petty bitch than ever.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

ETA2: And, on further review, I see he's posted "Somethings just need repeating until heard" in several threads, completely unrelated to any context.

He's just repeating it until it's heard.

[Someone]

Trinopus is trying to be the second coming of Skald: "Here's a Superpower hypothetical. Except you have to play by my weird ideas about what the canon is." On the other hand, it's noticeably lacking in sexploitation.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

there's a link to the original thread in there but it doesn't work.

Incidentally, I think that the broken links are tied with the move to P2P long ago as discrete incidents that shove the Dope down into decline faster than it naturally would slide given Internet trends and the normal half-life of discussion groups. More than half the Google links and the links that are "out in the wild" on websites, are broken. So the very tiny trickle of new people who find the Dope naturally are slowed to a miniscule drip. Any web 2.0 slickness won't matter if they click on a link and it's all "oops! WTF are you talking about?" They will learn to never click on a Dope link again if it ever comes up again.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Not really snark, but it's kind of a cool story.

My wife ran into someone online she last saw 72 years ago

Guess the poster...(the age is the clue)

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my...ars-ago/921259

I had it narrowed down to 2 possible posters, then realized that one of the posters would have mentioned his husband, not wife. So I got it!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I had it narrowed down to 2 possible posters, then realized that one of the posters would have mentioned his wife, not husband. So I got it!

It really is a cool story, too. I've had a similar thing happen but not 72 years later. I mean, I feel old but not that old.

[Someone]

We once ran into someone at a marathon in New Orleans who was from my mother's home town (pop < 1000) in Saskatchewan.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

...ran into someone at a marathon ...

You need to be more careful when passing another runner.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

He hasn't posted for over a month, now that you mention it. Hopefully he just forgot to pay the internet bill.

I'm still around. Not feeling especially chatty of late, but still converting O² to CO².

Or as Mark Twain famously said: "fuck you, I like the mustache."

[Someone]

☺ ^{It’s been a while since we’ve seen Vinyl Turnip — their last post was 6 weeks ago.}

[Someone]

Urbanredneck shows his ass again: Is there really a “Pink Tax”?

As someone down the thread said:

Originally Posted by Someone

Lol! This is freaking classic. The OP cites the things he doesn’t think are true, thus, proving them true.

And then provides no sites to the things he thinks ARE true.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I had it narrowed down to 2 possible posters, then realized that one of the posters would have mentioned his husband, not wife. So I got it!

panache45 is only 75 though, and his husband is a lot younger and more virile (as he has enthusiastically told us lo, these many times), so not only would the man himself be unlikely to remember anyone from 72 years ago but the young, virile husband wasn't even around then.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

It really is a cool story, too. I've had a similar thing happen but not 72 years later. I mean, I feel old but not that old.

Not quite as odd, but I married a guy from a tiny town in Ohio, who I met in Houston. We had a son born in the tiny town. We moved to Houston, and got divorced after a few years.

Married someone else, who eventually adopted my son. (Long story.) He passed away.

About a year after that (twenty years after meeting my son's biological father) I met a man from that same tiny town in Ohio. We got married after a while. This would be the wonderful Mr Rebo!

Isn't that weird? They didn't know each other either. Mr Rebo is about 4-1/2 years older than me and bio-dad.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Urbanredneck shows his ass again: Is there really a “Pink Tax”?

As someone down the thread said:

Surprisingly Urbanredneck isn't the most obnoxious poster in the thread. TriPolar shows his entire ass. (At least up to about post 60 or so. I stopped reading when Aji de Gallina or whatever the fuck his name is brings up the old sexist canard that "women dress for other women" at which point I stopped reading before I blew a gasket.)

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I dunno. What retro snark haven't we revisited for awhile? Let's talk about that.

Remember the lady who was going to poop in the purse she was selling on ebay? Good times.

[Someone]

Well for razors I read a womens razor has the blades at a different angle because women dont want to cut or knick their legs while mens razors are more aggressive because men dont care as much about a little cut now and then. Also it evens out because men shave nearly everyday while women often only shave during the summer.

Has urbandipshit actually ever met a woman?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Surprisingly Urbanredneck isn't the most obnoxious poster in the thread. TriPolar shows his entire ass....

Yeah, I was just coming back here to mention him. If you look up his name in a thesaurus you'll find 'obtuse' listed as a synonym.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Remember the lady who was going to poop in the purse she was selling on ebay? Good times.

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in...a-purse/690022

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Surprisingly Urbanredneck isn't the most obnoxious poster in the thread. TriPolar shows his entire ass.

TriPolar is one of those Dopers who will say stupid shit just to keep an argument going. Sarcastically pointing out that the "pink tax" isn't a government-imposed tax (as if anyone thought it was) is typical of him.

A few weeks ago, he said that he enjoys getting warnings because it amuses him to see the mods strutting around like Barney Fife. That pretty much tells you everything you need to know about him.