Best Halloween jokes

[Sexy Systems Analysis]

What's a vampires favorite fruit?




Neck-tarines!

[Richard Nixon]

Do you know why I started my political career hunting commie vampires?

Because there was so much at stake!

UH-HAW UH-HAW UH-HAW

[Suck my Sock]

Know what's funny?

Smashing pumpkins with A BAT!!!

[Sexy Systems Analysis]

Top Reasons Trick-or-Treating is Better Than Sex!!!


4. You're guaranteed to get a little something in the sack!
3. It doesn't matter if they fantasize you're somebody else, because you are!
2. If you don't get what you want, you can always go next door!
1. You can do the whole neighborhood!

[stormie]

These jokes suck. This place is just dead.

[Richard Nixon]

Just so you commie liberals on this board don't think I'm some sort of anti-feminist, I think you should know that I did prepare a meal for my wife once. The only reason I didn't do that again is she didn't like what I made at all. What can I say?

I am not a cook.

[The Most Disinterested Man]

Best Halloween jokes? Let me think.

Of course! It's this forum!

[So you decided to join GB...]

 


So you've decided you want to establish yourself as a humorous poster. That's great! But
how should you go about it?

The trick is to pick your spots. You don't need to go rushing into every thread trying to make
a hilarious post. For example, if someone posts an OP about being depressed and
suggesting that they may be dead soon, you don't want to rush in cracking wise with a tone-
deaf first response... that would run counter to your goal of being a message board wit. It
would also make you an a-hole!

Why not start off posting to a Raffoween joke thread? Here is a joke that you can use: Why
do vampires need mouthwash? Because they have bat breath! Be sure to monitor the
thread after you post so that you can enjoy all the comments from people who loved your
joke. Be prepared in case they demand more! Here is another joke you can post: Why did
the monster’s mother knit him three socks? She heard he grew another foot!



Once you have become known as one of the funniest posters around, the pressure will be
on to keep "bringing the funny". Good sources of additional material are "Boy's Life"
magazine and Laffy Taffy candy wrappers.



 

[stormie]

fangs a lot

[JackieLikesVariety]

whooHOO somebody get some deodorizing spray!!

[Giraffe]

Originally Posted by So you decided to join GB...

 


So you've decided you want to establish yourself as a humorous poster. That's great! But
how should you go about it?

The trick is to pick your spots. You don't need to go rushing into every thread trying to make
a hilarious post. For example, if someone posts an OP about being depressed and
suggesting that they may be dead soon, you don't want to rush in cracking wise with a tone-
deaf first response... that would run counter to your goal of being a message board wit. It
would also make you an a-hole!

Why not start off posting to a Raffoween joke thread? Here is a joke that you can use: Why
do vampires need mouthwash? Because they have bat breath! Be sure to monitor the
thread after you post so that you can enjoy all the comments from people who loved your
joke. Be prepared in case they demand more! Here is another joke you can post: Why did
the monster’s mother knit him three socks? She heard he grew another foot!



Once you have become known as one of the funniest posters around, the pressure will be
on to keep "bringing the funny". Good sources of additional material are "Boy's Life"
magazine and Laffy Taffy candy wrappers.



 

This is the best sock of 2013, hands down. It's dreamy.

[Vandervecken]

Originally Posted by Giraffe

This is the best sock of 2013, hands down. It's dreamy.

Well, it's not like there's any real competition this year...