Social Anxiety and Extroversion

[DrWas]

Something came up where I made kind of a critical error in a social situation where I kind of hurt the feelings of someone who was very enthusiastic to be involved in an event because I interpreted them as not being very enthusiastic at all. Suffice to say, they aren't going to be involved in the event, and I will find out tomorrow if we can salvage the relationship.

And what I won't go too deeply into with them is that I made the decision while I was feeling very socially anxious and I thought that they wouldn't add to the event if they weren't interested. All of my communication with them was via e-mail, so I misjudged. They sent me a bio that was just totally decontextualized, so what i interpreted from that is that they were kind of phoning it in. When I suggested maybe we retool it and he speak at the next event, he was understandably hurt at being uninvited to something he was actually looking forward to.

People would not normally realize, but I am actually very socially anxious. In person I keep things calm and level most of the time. I speak to many people through the course of the day. I have fairly decent social skills and am good at reading people. I can speak publicly in front of large crowds.

But occasionally social anxiety rears its ugly head and I second guess everything.

Does anyone here have experience with being very socially anxious while still being able to be extroverted on a regular basis?

[Khampelf]

Well, I do but probably not in the way you mean. Mine is/was a showing off to cover up how shy I am kind of thing.Sometimes it worked in a "I meant that, really" and passed by with a laugh, sometimes I should have been mortified and just wondered why no one got it, only realizing later what an ass I'd been. The awkwardness has largely passed by. I still embarrass myself now and again. Lately, though getting noticed and striking up conversations is a hobby of mine. Happened today. I just fancy myself an interesting fellow and can't help sharing my happy ass with all the world.

Did the fellow get re-invited, or did you only find out about his interest after the event?

[DrWas]

Originally Posted by Khampelf

Well, I do but probably not in the way you mean. Mine is/was a showing off to cover up how shy I am kind of thing.Sometimes it worked in a "I meant that, really" and passed by with a laugh, sometimes I should have been mortified and just wondered why no one got it, only realizing later what an ass I'd been. The awkwardness has largely passed by. I still embarrass myself now and again. Lately, though getting noticed and striking up conversations is a hobby of mine. Happened today. I just fancy myself an interesting fellow and can't help sharing my happy ass with all the world.

Did the fellow get re-invited, or did you only find out about his interest after the event?

I reinvited him but he was already out by that point. I think the relationship is damaged. But, I apologized. Best I can do.