The Rules Thread

[The Futility of Nihilism]

1. You must follow all rules posted in this thread in order to post in this thread.

[The Futility of Nihilism]

2. All posts must be rules.

[Pencil]

3. If it is not a rule, it must not be posted in this thread.

[Pencil]

4. Redundant rules are also rules, albeit redundant. Redundancy increases entropy.

[The Futility of Nihilism]

5. The authoritative, prescribed directions for conduct, especially as regulations governing procedure in a legislative body or regulations observed by the players in a game, sport, or contest, contained herein, neither require nor necessitate monosemy, unambiguity, simplicity, transparency, nor pellucidy.

[Wolf Larsen]

6. The numbering of rules in the rule thread must be strictly increasing, using only decimal integers. The decimal integer numbering the rule must be the first decimal integer subsequent to the decimal integer used in the last rule.

[Scuba Ben]

7. (This rule has been redacted to comply with the Communications Decency Act and the Trans Pacific Partnership. )

[Borborygmi]

8. Any post made to this thread that disappears into an ignore list shall be ruled a ground-rule triple.

[Kat]

9. None of these rules may be re-broadcast without the express written permission of Major League Baseball. Or 80% of the denizens of the Box.

[bufftabby]

10. This thread rules.

[running coach]

11. Once used, no rule may be used again.

[Borborygmi]

12. If a poster receives an infraction, he must turn his posts in this thread upside-down to indicate that he is Boxed.

[pickle berry]

12.3 - Rule 6 has been deemed outdated, outmoded and a little bit sexist and no longer needs to be followed.

[Marmalade]

13. The 13 Treasures of Rule are the only things which can save our world from the menace of Dark Water.

[Anacanapuna]

15. Rules must be numbered chronologically and must be actual rules, not merely philosophical statements or fond wishes.

[Anacanapuna]

16. This rule strikes Rule #14, which was superfluous and no longer appears in these rules.

[Pencil]

17. The Trans Pacific Partnership shall hereto forth be known as the Cis Pacific Partnership.

[Khampelf]

18. All odd numbered rules are exempt for posters who put on their best Mexican bandit voice and say "Rules? We don't got no ... We don't need no stinking rules!".

[Anacanapuna]

19. Rules shall be devoid of racial, ethnic, and cultural stereotypes. This rule is retroactive.

[Anacanapuna]

20. All unspoken rules shall remain unspoken and unspeakable. Anyone who does not know the unspoken rules shall keep quiet about it.

[Zeener Diode]

21. Rule 21: If it exists, there is always a rule of it.

[Jaglavak]

22. Rules must be constructed with a preference for recyclable predicates. Predicates must be indelibly marked with the type of recyclable. Used rules must be stripped of all reuseable or recyclable predicates before being disposed of in an authorized manner.

[Senpai]

23. Rules must not be followed outside of this board. We already have rules outside of this board and we don't need all this bullshit in any of the board's participator's lives.

[Jaglavak]

24. The generic rule set shall be filtered through individual subrule masks. A subrule mask is the rulemask that, when applied by nitpicking jargon-bending leaps of logic, yields each individual's desired ruleset.

[Pencil]

25. Any rule alluding to, mentioning, or referring to the rules of Fight Club is automatically void.

[Khampelf]

26. Adherence to the rules is optional for posters with a custom title.

[The Futility of Nihilism]

27. For the purposes of this thread, the custom title from rule #26 refers only to novelty socks such as @Nicolas Sockozy.

[Scuba Ben]

28. Every rule integrally divisible by 7 is repealed. Including this rule.

[Flying Saucerian]

29. There is no Rule 30

[Flying Saucerian]

30. There is no Rule 29

[Anacanapuna]

31 This rule reinstates Rules 29 and 30, with all penalties and consequences thereunto ascribed. This rule furthermore allows Flying Saucerian to refer to Rules 29 and 30 as "the oldest rules in the book."

[Kat]

32. No capes.

[Senpai]

33. All references to Edna from The Incredibles as practiced in Rule 32 are always acceptable, all rules saying otherwise is automatically void.

[Senpai]

34. Rule 34 is disgusting and should never be looked up on Google.

[Jaglavak]

35. For every poster, each thousandth post shall be in the form of a lighthearted sonnet describing one of the myriad ways that Jag rules and Jeff drools.

[Anacanapuna]

36. Capes will be allowed as optional formal wear for special occasions when the poster or super hero does not anticipate flying or using other super powers. A special cape check will be provided for emergencies.

[Khampelf]

37. All rules contradicted by a later rule can suck it. Plus, anyone with a post count over 10K is exempt from rules they deem 'petty' or 'ridiculous'.

[Khampelf]

38. There is no Dana, only rule.

[BJMoose]

39. The Mercedes Ruehl.

[Zeener Diode]

40. There shall be a Rule of the Day.

[Anacanapuna]

41. The Rule of Tom Thumb will apply only to posters taller than 2'6". While this is a highly discriminatory rule, it is necessary to keep very short posters from being stepped on.

Fine print:
This rule does not contradict any previous rule, esp. Rules 23, 24, 29, 30, & 38. Any perceived contradiction must be clarified by the Rules Committee within 48 working hours from the time the misperception is first (mis)percieved. Said Committee will then have 24 hours to release its ruling to the general boards; all decisions are final. Anyone pretending to mispercieve a rule for the purpose of causing the Rules Committee to convene unnecessarily shall be boxed for a period deemed appropriate by the Rules Committee chairperson. Any subsequent rule that contradicts this rule, pursuant to Rule 37, means this rule automatically can suck it.

[Jaglavak]

42. The meaning of life: Ya gotta know the rules to break the rules.

[Zeener Diode]

43. All fine print shall be treated as incomprehensible blargle and omitted from further rules.

[Anacanapuna]

44. All subsequent rules must contain Fine Print in order to properly obfuscate the purpose and intent of said rule.

[Anacanapuna]

45. This rule rescinds Rule 44 because I don't want Zeener Diode to kick my butt over a stupid rule, and he'd do it just because he can.

[Zeener Diode]

46. All rescinded rules shall be rescinded.

[Flying Saucerian]

47. Every player passing Go shall collect two hundred dollars.

[Kat]

48. Rule 47 does not apply if the player is on his/her way to Jail.

[timbicile]

Originally Posted by Scuba Ben

28. Every rule integrally divisible by 7 is repealed. Including this rule.

.49. All rules divisible by 7 will be repeated.

[Jaglavak]

Rule Big Five-Oh: Rule 47 does not apply if the player is on his/her way to Jali.