I've been awake since 6:45 this morning - a Saturday - because I had to move my car. I had to move it because the city of Chicago can't physically come over and punch me in the tit, so this is the next-best thing. Sure, they could hire someone for the tit-punching, but it'd probably be some alderman's second cousin, who wouldn't even show up for the job, but would still collect a paycheck. Maybe 2 paychecks, because there's no way to control those kind of things.

Anyway, there are...