The Sandusky/Starving Artist Discussion Thread

[Someone]

Here you all go.

[Someone]

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Here you all go.

Now if only the Pedobear Acolyte would join us, so we might feast upon his flesh, and gnaw upon his bones...

[Someone]

I fucked a paper towel roll the other day. It was mildly difficult but doable.

[Someone]

I find it odd that you named your dog Paper Towel Roll.

[Someone]

Oddly enough, my dog is actually named Sandusky. And FYI, we broke up years ago and I'd rather not talk about it.

[Someone]

I'd rather not talk about some nasty old pervert.

Or that asshole from Penn State, either.

[Someone]

If we continue to hijack this thread will haj open up a new one for us?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

If we continue to hijack this thread will haj open up a new one for us?

Please, tell me you didn't invoke the infinite regression?

[Someone]

Oh, noes!!! He confronts us with lies we tell and arguments we can't rebut! Our insults and accusations, they do nothing!!! Box him!! Get rid of him!! We can't stand it!!! Mods!! Mods!! Please!! Get rid of him!! Save us!!!

Note: This post is in reference to poster behavior in this thread only and is not an attempt to continue arguing the Paterno/Sandusky issue.

[Someone]

IS THIS TRUE?!?!?!

[Someone]

Oops, wrong thread. Belay my last.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Oops, wrong thread. Belay my last.

BLOW your last, asshole. You still have to address teh last post in your thread.
Do you have an answer?

Originally Posted by Someone

No, they're the emergency replacement for SA's blow-up love-sheep, which he accidentally poked a hole in with a power drill while trying to prove that Goatse couldn't be a real guy.

Last post in YOUR thread. Answer it, or go away, fool. Go where the Durps care about your arguments. This ain't the place.

[Someone]

What the fuck are you talking about, you demented loon?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

What the fuck are you talking about, you demented loon?

You're one to talk, aren't you. Dipshit...

[Someone]

I do have to hand it to Starkers, though. You see, I used to have a really hard time dealing with senile dementia, Alzheimer's, and other diseases of the mind due to my experiences with my grandmother when I was a teenager.

Fortunately, thanks solely to the magic of Startling Arsefest's collection of posts, I can see the funny side of senile dementia again!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Oh, noes!!! He confronts us with lies we tell and arguments we can't rebut!

What are you talking about? I flat out rebutted you. What part of "I had sex with a paper towel roll" do you not understand? And don't get nit-picky - I've also done it with a toilet paper roll. We're still friends, in fact.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

He confronts us with lies we tell and arguments we can't rebut!

Well here's your chance to set the record straight then. Do you actually practice, or advocate the practice of, fucking children?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

What are you talking about? I flat out rebutted you. What part of "I had sex with a paper towel roll" do you not understand? And don't get nit-picky - I've also done it with a toilet paper roll. We're still friends, in fact.

I didn't confront you about it, did I? After all, I never said that every word out of my opponents' mouths were lies, did I?

I have to admit my amusement that so many posters are willing to admit they fit inside paper towel or toilet paper tubes. I anticipated the issue of fit to be first one raised and yet it's raised not a peep from anyone. You have my condolences.

[Someone]

I'll take that as a 'yes'.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I didn't confront you about it, did I? After all, I never said that every word out of my opponents' mouths were lies, did I?

I have to admit my amusement that so many posters are willing to admit they fit inside paper towel or toilet paper tubes. I anticipated the issue of fit to be first one raised and yet it's raised not a peep from anyone. You have my condolences.

They wind the cheap TP around larger tubes. It makes the roll look bigger without having to include so much product. The tubes for the luxury brands, no way.

...a friend told me.

[Someone]

[Someone]

Since we have now proven beyond a reasonable doubt, using due process and due diligence and lots of other dues, that you are in fact a senile old man (and you've admitted as such), there is little else to discuss concerning the sad matter of your obsession with Sandusky's child rape.

Joepa will go down in history as being a pedophile enabler. And there is nothing you can do to change that.

Now I'm off to the 7/11 to get me a big gulp. I'm very thirsty. I especially like the cherry cola ones. They make a lovely harmony on my tongue. If I don't come back for a day or two it's because I'm busy making a turkey roll. Everyone loves my homemade cranberry sauce!!!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I have to admit my amusement that so many posters are willing to admit they fit inside paper towel or toilet paper tubes. I anticipated the issue of fit to be first one raised and yet it's raised not a peep from anyone. You have my condolences.

Well the diameter of a paper towel roll opening is about 2", average penis is about 1.5", so there is plenty of room above average to rest my ego on. Your unfamiliarity with all this makes me suspect that you've led us on and haven't tried or really researched this yourself at all. You won't be on my defence team.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I have to admit my amusement that so many posters are willing to admit they fit inside paper towel or toilet paper tubes.

This is hilarious.

Originally Posted by Someone

Well the diameter of a paper towel roll opening is about 2"...

And this is incorrect.

LMGTFY

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

This is hilarious.

And this is incorrect.

LMGTFY

I actually measured it, and it was close to 2" so I just said 2. It's what guys do, google boy.

[Someone]

Scribey, you're a guy? The avvie suggests you're gender confused.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Scribey, you're a guy? The avvie suggests you're gender confused.

It's just a disguise. A very comfortable disguise that makes me feel pretty.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I actually measured it, and it was close to 2" so I just said 2. It's what guys do, google boy.

1/4" = close? Who taught you how to use a measure'n stick boy? Maybe in curling it's close, but come on, we are talking paper product cores that have to fit on all manner of holding devices. They ain't gonna vary that much.

In all seriousness, it doesn't detract from the point you were making, I was just bustin' yer balls for rounding up so much.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I have to admit my amusement that so many posters are willing to admit they fit inside paper towel or toilet paper tubes. I anticipated the issue of fit to be first one raised and yet it's raised not a peep from anyone. You have my condolences.

I have no idea why we're talking about putting our dicks in paper towel tubes, but, two things: 1) wow, you're actually bragging about how big your dick is on an internet message board, 2) i have no problem admitting that my dick fits in a paper towel tube.

ETA: that is, I'm pretty sure it would, not that I've tried it.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I have no idea why we're talking about putting our dicks in paper towel tubes,

Because Starving Artist presented what he thought was rock solid evidence that anal rape of a boy in a shower is impossible because it's just like fucking a paper towel tube which is also supposedly impossible. Sounded great in theory, but proved wrong through field testing.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

you're actually bragging about how big your dick is on an internet message board,.

It has been scientifically proven beyond all doubt, that any guy who goes on an internet message board and proclaims that he has a huuge dick, has nothing but a tiny shriveled up gherkin south of the border. So sad.

At first I felt bad for Starving Artist because he only has paper towel tubes to fuck, but now my heart aches because his penis is so diminutive.

[Someone]

That's actually what he meant - his condolences because if a man's dick truly fit inside the paper towel tube, the chafing would be horrible, and he wouldn't want any of you to have to experience that. Who wants friction burns on their penis?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

It has been scientifically proven beyond all doubt, that any guy who goes on an internet message board and proclaims that he has a huuge dick, has nothing but a tiny shriveled up gherkin south of the border. So sad.

At first I felt bad for Starving Artist because he only has paper towel tubes to fuck, but now my heart aches because his penis is so diminutive.

There's always those little plastic rollers that adding machine tape comes on.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Because Starving Artist presented what he thought was rock solid evidence that anal rape of a boy in a shower is impossible because it's just like fucking a paper towel tube which is also supposedly impossible. Sounded great in theory, but proved wrong through field testing.

He must have been fucking people with artificial anuses. That's what you get when you frequent Republican conventions.
It would never have crossed my mind to link toilet paper tubes and buttholes. Honestly, if your partner has an anus that ressembles a toilet paper tube, you need to call the police. And if your partner has an anus the size of a toilet paper tube BEFORE any prepping, you're fucking a quadruped.

[Someone]

Giraffe should abuse his powers and make a Pedobear avatar for SA. And maybe a spiffy custom title.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

There's always those little plastic rollers that adding machine tape comes on.

Starving Artist does not have access to those tiny adding machine tubes, which is unfortunate for all the 10 year old boys within his reach. Their only saving grace is that they are being assaulted with his tiny shriveled up gherkin. Still leaves emotional scars though