When a woman cancels a date is it normally so she can spend time with another guy?

[InternetBrowser]

I think I am about done with this woman. We were supposed to see each other on sunday and she sends me a text on friday saying she has to work all weekend because of a last minute project.

So I called last night to set up a new date and she doesn't answer the phone? I didn't feel the need to leave a message since we are in the caller id era.


Just don't have a good feeling right now

[SNFaulkner]

Is it normally to go see another guy? That seems to be an overly paranoid and jealous way to think. And if that's how you act, then you might very well drive her away.

[InternetBrowser]

Originally Posted by SNFaulkner

Is it normally to go see another guy? That seems to be an overly paranoid and jealous way to think. And if that's how you act, then you might very well drive her away.

That's why I came here to ask. I didn't question her


But how else do you explain the cancellation and no return call after seeing my number on the caller id?

[SNFaulkner]

Her grandmother was in a fiery explosion down at the dog food factory and needed an immediate blood transfusion?

How the hell is anyone suppose to know but her?

[InternetBrowser]

Originally Posted by SNFaulkner

Her grandmother was in a fiery explosion down at the dog food factory and needed an immediate blood transfusion?

How the hell is anyone suppose to know but her?

So at this point I can't call again because I will look pathetic. So do I just wait for her to contact me?

[SNFaulkner]

Too late. You already look pathetic for asking rando's on the internet for dating advice.

[InternetBrowser]

Originally Posted by SNFaulkner

Too late. You already look pathetic for asking rando's on the internet for dating advice.

Me not know what else to do

[stormie]

Originally Posted by InternetBrowser

But how else do you explain the cancellation and no return call after seeing my number on the caller id?

The cancellation could have been:
- she was working all weekend because of a last minute project. This should be your go-to assumption.
- she is not that into you.

She may have chosed not to return your call because she thought you might want to have an emotional /judgemental conversation that she didn't want to have, and is not obligated to have. Or, she's not that into you.

Back up. You may have trust issues that will affect any relationship. Those are not your potential partner's problem. They are your problem, and you need to solve them.

[Kat]

She might have chosen not to return your call because you didn't make an effort to leave a freaking message.

[InternetBrowser]

Originally Posted by Kat

She might have chosen not to return your call because you didn't make an effort to leave a freaking message.

I thought that was the norm in 2018 since we are in the caller id era

[stormie]

Nope. A followup text instead of a message is OK, but a call with no message oft means 'it was no big deal, just thought I'd ring'

Originally Posted by InternetBrowser

So at this point I can't call again because I will look pathetic. So do I just wait for her to contact me?

Missed this part.
Yes, you wait for her to contact you. One call or text on, say, Thursday to see if she wants to get together over the weekend is reasonable - and do leave a message. If she doesn't respond, do not initate contact again.

[Glazer]

Not calling you back doesn't necessarily mean she's seeing someone else. Just that she doesn't want to see you.

[InternetBrowser]

Originally Posted by Glazer

Not calling you back doesn't necessarily mean she's seeing someone else. Just that she doesn't want to see you.

This is why I dating and prefer the fetish lifestyle

[Glazer]

You give off a strong creep vibe over the internet. In person the reek of creep must be so strong that women cross the street to keep from meeting you.

[InternetBrowser]

Originally Posted by Glazer

You give off a strong creep vibe over the internet. In person the reek of creep must be so strong that women cross the street to keep from meeting you.

Let me explain the history Glazo

We met in January and we out about 6 times. Then I got sick in February and was in the hospital for a couple of days due to a leg issue. So when I returned home I was in recovery mode for feb and march because I was not mobile. So then once the weather started getting warmer around April my leg started feeling and I was ready to see her again. I wanted to see her in may but it was too much family shit going like mother's day, mom's birthday, memorial day weekend


So I scheduled for 6/3 which was a sunday since I was off on Monday. She agreed and then on Friday she sent a text saying she has to work all weekend due to a last minute project. Part of me thinks she wasn't able to get Monday off and she didn't want to go on a sunday which is understandable. I only think this because she said she will take monday off now since I wanted to see her on sunday. So she probably didn't want to say I wasn't able to get monday so she just made up the story about having to work all weekend

every time we went out it was a saturday

[stormie]

Don't date someone you do not trust. It doesn't matter if she is being honest and you are wrong to mistrust her, or she is being dishonest. Either way, if by your 7th date you no longer feel you can trust this person, don't date her.

[InternetBrowser]

Originally Posted by stormie

Don't date someone you do not trust. It doesn't matter if she is being honest and you are wrong to mistrust her, or she is being dishonest. Either way, if by your 7th date you no longer feel you can trust this person, don't date her.

That was the 1st time she ever cancelled on me which is why I thought it had to be because of some "cool dude"

[stormie]

Got it.

You understand that this does not indicate a strong sense of worth? You need to work on that. Let's say she was rude enough to cancel on you because she got an offer that she thought was better and she was too embarassed to tell you that. That does not make you less cool, desirable, worthy, or anything else. Her action reflects on her. Your assumptions reflect on you. That you assumed she was lying and that you weren't as valuable a person as someone else is a problem you have in your head.

If you admit to her that when she cancelled you were worried it was because she wasn't into you, you must follow up with 'I'm pretty insecure'. Then you need to work on accepting that another person's actions and opinions do not change your value as a person or as a partner.

[InternetBrowser]

Originally Posted by stormie

Got it.

You understand that this does not indicate a strong sense of worth? You need to work on that. Let's say she was rude enough to cancel on you because she got an offer that she thought was better and she was too embarassed to tell you that. That does not make you less cool, desirable, worthy, or anything else. Her action reflects on her. Your assumptions reflect on you. That you assumed she was lying and that you weren't as valuable a person as someone else is a problem you have in your head.

If you admit to her that when she cancelled you were worried it was because she wasn't into you, you must follow up with 'I'm pretty insecure'. Then you need to work on accepting that another person's actions and opinions do not change your value as a person or as a partner.

Of course i am not going to bring it up to her which is why I am bringing it up on here.

What I can't do right now is text or call after a cancellation and not answering my call. That would make me really look pathetic. So I have to wait for her to contact me or I guess that will be the end

[stormie]

It would actually be OK to talk with her about it. After she gets in touch with you

[Senpai]

That's a pretty terrible assumption to make after just the first time she didn't call you back, and it makes you look pretty darn desperate and creepy, I agree with the others.

I also agree that you should wait for her to contact you. If she does, great! If she doesn't, well... That's just her being shitty, I guess. Move on then, especially when also mentioned above, after the 7th date you aren't quite trusting her. You can text her if she doesn't respond within another few days or so.

[InternetBrowser]

Originally Posted by Senpai

That's a pretty terrible assumption to make after just the first time she didn't call you back, and it makes you look pretty darn desperate and creepy, I agree with the others.

I also agree that you should wait for her to contact you. If she does, great! If she doesn't, well... That's just her being shitty, I guess. Move on then, especially when also mentioned above, after the 7th date you aren't quite trusting her. You can text her if she doesn't respond within another few days or so.

How do I look creepy and desperate when i haven't discussed any of this with her?

[Simple Dog]

It's probably because you wanted to sniff her butt.

[InternetBrowser]

Originally Posted by Simple Dog

It's probably because you wanted to sniff her butt.

No i really like her so I haven't mentioned any of my silly turn on's

[Pencil]

Guys, I think were being trolled, as per the recent kerfuffle and brouhaha over there. That an incel should show up right now is mighty strange timing.

[Simple Dog]

It's just a garden variety recurring troll (SMG15/Solomon), not anything about over there.

[Senpai]

Originally Posted by InternetBrowser

How do I look creepy and desperate when i haven't discussed any of this with her?

I meant more, you look creepy and desperate to us, some of us being women.

[InternetBrowser]

Originally Posted by Senpai

I meant more, you look creepy and desperate to us, some of us being women.

Well I haven't made any more contact so I can't look too creepy

[George Kaplin]

Originally Posted by InternetBrowser

I think I am about done with this woman. We were supposed to see each other on sunday and she sends me a text on friday saying she has to work all weekend because of a last minute project.

So I called last night to set up a new date and she doesn't answer the phone? I didn't feel the need to leave a message since we are in the caller id era.


Just don't have a good feeling right now

Sounds like you're being ghosted. Best thing to do is send a quick text (not phone call) saying something along the lines of 'You free to go out this Friday? If not, give me call/text when you're free' or something to that effect. Keep it breezy. Then the ball is in her court. If she responds, great. If not, forget about her and get back out there.

[picunurse]

Originally Posted by InternetBrowser

Let me explain the history Glazo

We met in January and we out about 6 times. Then I got sick in February and was in the hospital for a couple of days due to a leg issue. So when I returned home I was in recovery mode for feb and march because I was not mobile. So then once the weather started getting warmer around April my leg started feeling and I was ready to see her again. I wanted to see her in may but it was too much family shit going like mother's day, mom's birthday, memorial day weekend


So I scheduled for 6/3 which was a sunday since I was off on Monday. She agreed and then on Friday she sent a text saying she has to work all weekend due to a last minute project. Part of me thinks she wasn't able to get Monday off and she didn't want to go on a sunday which is understandable. I only think this because she said she will take monday off now since I wanted to see her on sunday. So she probably didn't want to say I wasn't able to get monday so she just made up the story about having to work all weekend

every time we went out it was a saturday

Did you speak with her between February and June? If not, she may just want to blow you off like she thought you did her.

[James Otto Sweet Heart]

Originally Posted by InternetBrowser

That's why I came here to ask. I didn't question her

But how else do you explain the cancellation and no return call after seeing my number on the caller id?

When you called her, how long had it been since the date that did not happen and is this the first time that she has had to tell you that she can't be there because if it is, it could have been for any reason.

God bless you always!!!

Holly

P.S. If your phone call was like the day after your date was supposed to have happened, maybe it was too soon depending on whatever her reason for bailing on you was. Sometimes its better to just wait for your other half to call you since they are the one who had to go off on their own and when they call, you then find out if things are good or if more time is needed for whatever their situation is. She then may tell you what is going on exactly as well. If it were to concern another guy, it could be one from her past who wants to see her again and maybe telling him to his face that she is done with him is the only way for him to actually get such a statement.

[InternetBrowser]

Originally Posted by picunurse

Did you speak with her between February and June? If not, she may just want to blow you off like she thought you did her.

yes, we stayed in contact all that time so why would she fade away now? If she is going to fade it would have been better when I was laid up in the hospital

[InternetBrowser]

Originally Posted by James Otto Sweet Heart

When you called her, how long had it been since the date that did not happen and is this the first time that she has had to tell you that she can't be there because if it is, it could have been for any reason.

God bless you always!!!

Holly

P.S. If your phone call was like the day after your date was supposed to have happened, maybe it was too soon depending on whatever her reason for bailing on you was. Sometimes its better to just wait for your other half to call you since they are the one who had to go off on their own and when they call, you then find out if things are good or if more time is needed for whatever their situation is. She then may tell you what is going on exactly as well. If it were to concern another guy, it could be one from her past who wants to see her again and maybe telling him to his face that she is done with him is the only way for him to actually get such a statement.

The date was supposed to be on sunday and I called monday

[InternetBrowser]

Originally Posted by James Otto Sweet Heart

When you called her, how long had it been since the date that did not happen and is this the first time that she has had to tell you that she can't be there because if it is, it could have been for any reason.

God bless you always!!!

Holly

P.S. If your phone call was like the day after your date was supposed to have happened, maybe it was too soon depending on whatever her reason for bailing on you was. Sometimes its better to just wait for your other half to call you since they are the one who had to go off on their own and when they call, you then find out if things are good or if more time is needed for whatever their situation is. She then may tell you what is going on exactly as well. If it were to concern another guy, it could be one from her past who wants to see her again and maybe telling him to his face that she is done with him is the only way for him to actually get such a statement.

This is just an assumption but when I mentioned seeing each other on sunday she said she would try to take monday off since she will be out on sunday. So I am thinking she couldn't get monday off and decided to say she had to work all weekend for a late project.

That excuse would sound a lot better than......"Can we reschedule since I couldn't get monday off?

[James Otto Sweet Heart]

^^^ I pray it all works out for you. (hug)

God bless you always!!!

Holly

[Nisslbody]

In the past when I've canceled a date, it was because I just couldn't make it work for some reason -- kids, work, school, a forgotten prior obligation, a visit from family, etc. I can't speak for other women but that's my MO.

FWIW I don't ever call people back if they don't leave a message, because I assume they just called to chat and that if they had a specific reason to talk to me, they would have left a message. I hate talking on the phone though.