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  #1  
Old 20th December 2024, 03:02 AM
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JimNightshade JimNightshade is offline
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She had a body that reached out and slapped my face like a five-pound ham-hock tossed from a speeding truck.
The results are in:


https://www.bulwer-lytton.com/2024
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  #2  
Old 20th December 2024, 11:23 AM
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Jaglavak Jaglavak is offline
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Her eyes were like lipid pools.
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  #3  
Old 20th December 2024, 01:04 PM
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She flashed a sultry gaze in a manner suggestive of peak estrous and an intention to reproduce.
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Old 20th December 2024, 02:35 PM
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Knowing now of his perfidy made his friendly smile and outreached hand reek in my nostrils like the funk of a thousand soggy jock straps.
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  #5  
Old 20th December 2024, 08:47 PM
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stormie stormie is offline
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Wheeee!

He was an old man who fished alone in a skiff in the Gulf Stream, and he had gone eighty-four days now without taking a fish, but as fish tend to live in the sea rather than in a skiff, he really had only himself to blame.
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Old 20th December 2024, 10:32 PM
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My logic saw through their bullshit like an endoscope finding a polyp.
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Old 21st December 2024, 01:03 AM
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Our eyes locked like the tumblers of a bank vault.
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  #8  
Old 21st December 2024, 08:55 AM
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Old 23rd December 2024, 05:46 AM
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Scuba Ben Scuba Ben is offline
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This is the sort of stuff only a truly awful writer could come up with. I'm merely an "awful" writer not a "truly awful" writer, so I can't fail at failing this badly.

Appropriately the board subtitle of the moment is "caution: ridicule imminent".
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  #10  
Old 23rd December 2024, 12:48 PM
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stormie stormie is offline
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Oh Dog. I love the Bulwer-Litton, but can only read it small bits.
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  #11  
Old 25th December 2024, 07:23 PM
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Carolia Carolia is offline
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Oh, it’s so awful. I love it!
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