More eXCIting Snark to Durp

[Someone]

Some things you can't leave to Fenris.

Other things you can--yo, @Fenris, could you please go close down the other one?

[Someone]

Yay!

[Someone]

Second!

I try harder.

[Someone]

Third. I don't try hard at all.

[Someone]

Fourth. I'm a lazy mofo!

[Someone]

Sixth. I'm lazy and can't count.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Sixth. I'm lazy and can't count.

Fifth. Who knew alphabeting could be so complicated.

[Someone]

Orange!

[Someone]

Orange you glad to be here?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Orange!

I can count to potato!

[Someone]

we need a like button

[Someone]

Not the worst thread title I've ever seen.

[Someone]

hi

[Someone]

I reported Siam Sam for being gross in the Boy Scouts Accept Girls thread (making a joke about eating a Brownie. hurrrrr) I think he moved back to the states from Bangkok and he's not seeing enough depravity anymore and needs his fix.

I also reported dropzone last week for getting all drooly over Jennshark when she was talking about how her pants made her look like she had a boner. Ever since dude's wife died and Dopers told him it's ok to start dating, he's become pretty lecherous on the boards, letting anyone who listens know that he really likes women and women really like him and he probably likes you and if there's a Dopefest he'll come visit you!

I hope the mods are reaching out to these fools. I don't want to be associated with a board that lets such utter grossness go on, and I'm not leaving.

[Someone]

I'm with JJ

Link to dropzone a buffoonishness?

[Someone]

I would have banned Siam Sam for that joke without a second thought or any chance of reprisal.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Orange!

This post has been graped by The Grapist!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I hope the mods are reaching out to these fools.

With a 2x4, hopefully!

[Someone]

Thanks for jumping on that Brownie "joke," it's not only inappropriate AF but the "joke" itself is incredibly ancient and wasn't considered to be all that funny when it was brand new. So disgusting--even if it were a joke about Scouts and Brownies IRL, that would mean a boy of 10-18 performing oral on a girl 7-9 and that's just sick. Haha funny "joke." Sexual abuse of a prepubescent girl is sooooooo high-larious!

[Someone]

Dropzone drops in to this thread in post 8 and makes no sense then continues to make no sense and by post 22 he's offering to drive to a NJ Dopefest to see Jennshark (married, to a woman) in her too-tight yoga pants that nobody but him is talking about.

I've seen him do similar stuff lately so that's why I reported him.

[Someone]

aceplace57, allegedly married with two daughters and a son, makes another post that screams "single guy."

Originally Posted by Someone

Papa John's is the best option I have for home delivery. I like their pan style. It arrives quickly and my order is prepared correctly.

There are better dine-in pizza places. When I feel like taking a shower, shave, get dressed, and drive across town. I don't go out anywhere without looking sharp.

Usually I prefer to hang out at home. Watch TV and place an order on their website.

It's pizza. It's good if it's hot and crunchy.

He's not even trying anymore.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

aceplace57, allegedly married with two daughters and a son, makes another post that screams "single guy."

He's not even trying anymore.

How did you miss that?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

How did you miss that?

He still takes a stab at it now and then. Earlier this week he talked about buying a washer and dryer at Home Depot and remembered to include the wife (probably because he associates wives with laundry).

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Dropzone drops in to this thread in post 8 and makes no sense then continues to make no sense and by post 22 he's offering to drive to a NJ Dopefest to see Jennshark (married, to a woman) in her too-tight yoga pants that nobody but him is talking about.

I've seen him do similar stuff lately so that's why I reported him.

I almost responded to that, but would have got mod attention for the warning, which would have discovered the sock. So, here's what I was about to post:

You might get more action if you'd stop being a total perv about it. Just a hint.

[Someone]

Oh, I missed this:

Originally Posted by Someone

I reported Siam Sam...

I also reported dropzone last week...

Thank you, BigTard for standing up for Truth, Justice, and The American Way. Your moralizing is not really appreciated. Cunt.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

aceplace57, allegedly married with two daughters and a son, makes another post that screams "single guy."

He's not even trying anymore.

Aside from being banal, utterly worthless and innumerable, his posts are always profoundly depressing to me. It's like reading poetry of despair.

Or the diary of a lobotomized patient. Entry after entry...

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Dropzone drops in to this thread in post 8 and makes no sense then continues to make no sense and by post 22 he's offering to drive to a NJ Dopefest to see Jennshark (married, to a woman) in her too-tight yoga pants that nobody but him is talking about.

I've seen him do similar stuff lately so that's why I reported him.

Damn, you can just see him getting more and more excited as the thread progresses.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Aside from being banal, utterly worthless and innumerable, his posts are always profoundly depressing to me. It's like reading poetry of despair.

Or the diary of of lobotomized patient. Entry after entry...

There's more varieties of pickles than I realized. I'll give some of the pickles mentioned (in this thread) a try.

[Someone]

The line breaks alone make me both depressed and murderous.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Damn, you can just see him getting more and more excited as the thread progresses.

Oh gross. I'm guessing the only reason the mods haven't said anything by now is that they feel bad because his wife just died.

I feel bad for the guy, but who on earth thinks that's appropriate?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Aside from being banal, utterly worthless and innumerable, his posts are always profoundly depressing to me. It's like reading poetry of despair.

Or the diary of of lobotomized patient. Entry after entry...

Acey's posts filled with banalities and platitudes are somehow much worse than his political rants and skeevy sex posts.

I wonder if Bar-Bar is settled in Denver yet? I almost wish he was posting again. Without him, the Dope is ... not un-boring.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

The line breaks alone make me both depressed and murderous.

My grandmother made the best bread & butter pickles. I don't know why they are called that. But I likes them. The best sweet pickles are mt olive sweet baby gherkins. I'll put a few on my plate to eat with my dinner. The only pickles I don't buy are the giant, whole, dill pickles. I used to love pickled eggs. My dad made them with a recipe handed down in his family.

Acey waxes Proustian.

Many years had elapsed during which nothing of Ohio, save what was comprised in the theatre and the drama of my going to bed there, had any existence for me, when one day in winter, on my return home, my mother, seeing that I was cold, offered me a pickle, a thing I did not ordinarily take. I declined at first, and then, for no particular reason, changed my mind. She sent for one of those squat, plump little gherkins called "bread and butter pickles," which look as though they had been moulded in the fluted valve of a scallop shell. And soon, mechanically, dispirited after a dreary day with the prospect of a depressing morrow, I raised to my lips a spoonful of the juice in which I had dipped a morsel of the pickle. No sooner had the sour liquid mixed with the crunchy pickle touched my palate than a shudder ran through me and I stopped, intent upon the extraordinary thing that was happening to me. An exquisite pleasure had invaded my senses, something isolated, detached, with no suggestion of its origin. And at once the vicissitudes of life had become indifferent to me, its disasters innocuous, its brevity illusory - this new sensation having had on me the effect which love has of filling me with a precious essence; or rather this essence was not in me it was me. I had ceased now to feel mediocre, contingent, mortal. Whence could it have come to me, this all-powerful joy? I sensed that it was connected with the taste of the juice and the pickle, but that it infinitely transcended those savours, could, no, indeed, be of the same nature. Whence did it come? What did it mean? How could I seize and apprehend it?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Some things you can't leave to Fenris.

Other things you can--yo, @Fenris, could you please go close down the other one?

91 sux as a thread seed and you did something cool with it.

I have decided this thread shall......live.

[Someone]

I take zero credit for it--the eXCiting part came up in the Snark Title Thread as a candidate for the last one then got amended to eXCIting for this one. I only added the Durp bit to keep it in regulations and had the intestinal fortitude to actually start the thread.

ETA: Oh, and kudos to ITD for bringing the mod slap to that pervy shitheel.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Acey waxes Proustian.

Nice. Nothing better than literary snark.

Well, sex. And drugs. The smell of a cedar forest. Sunset on the ocean. A contented cat purring in your lap on a rainy day. Unexpected windfalls. Steak, or really any number of foods. Don’t be so literal.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Acey waxes Proustian.

By Jove, that might be a candidate for the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest.

[Someone]

Fairly new poster:

How many of you unbutton your pants after a large meal?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Aside from being banal, utterly worthless and innumerable, his posts are always profoundly depressing to me. It's like reading poetry of despair.

Or the diary of a lobotomized patient. Entry after entry...

I don't find acey's posts depressing, mostly due to some of the vile shit he's posted over the years. I get a kind of smug self-satisfaction in the idea that he leads a completely and utterly meaningless life and will never get within kissing distance of an actual real life woman.

If there is any durper whose posts I do find depressing, it has to be Quasimodal. Reading his Sad Sack posts couched in feigned optimism for so long, I've come to realize that this guy is actually going to one day honest-to-god blow his fucking brains out.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

The line breaks alone make me both depressed and murderous.

Interestingly, Acey's Terminator fanfiction takes a rather different approach to line breaks:

A waitress came to refill the coffee, and a waiter followed her with a large serving tray filled with plates of pancakes, sausages, bacon, and small pots of syrup. "More coffee ma'am?" asked the waitress. Sarah started to reply, and the waitress calmly flung the pot's scalding contents at Sarah's face. The waiter tipped the breakfast plates into John's lap and then viciously used the large metal tray to backhand Cameron halfway across the room. The Terminator waiter crossed the room, picked up Cameron, and flung her head first into a brick wall. The hot coffee blinded Sarah, and she was screaming in pain. The waitress picked up a chair and tried to break it over John's head. John awkwardly avoided the attack by falling out of his chair and rolling. John's ribs absorbed the chair's glancing blow, and the chair shattered on the floor beside him. The waitress tossed the broken chair aside and leapt on top of John. Her knee crashed into his groin, and she used a broken chair leg to savagely beat him. Cameron saw that John was in trouble. She turned to go to his aid. The Terminator waiter grabbed Cameron, wrestled her to the ground, and began twisting her left leg out of the hip socket. Cameron kicked the Terminator waiter in the face with her free right foot. Blinded and enraged, Sarah lunged towards the sound of the fight near her feet. She landed on the waitress' back, grabbed a fistful of her hair, and slammed her face into the floor. Sarah rolled the stunned waitress onto her back, furiously punched her breasts several times, and pinned the struggling woman to the floor. Sarah shouted at John, "I can't hold this bitch for very long. Run John! Get out of here now! Save yourself!"

[Someone]

terentii and DSYoungEsq get into a about whether or not some alien puppet croaked in the ST:TOS episode "Catspaw."

Starts here at post #65.

Hey, I like Star Trek as much as anyone else, but I don't let myself get bogged down in minutiae. It's like William Shatner said on SNL, "Get a life, will ya?"

[Someone]

This zombie thread is a veritable festival of durpitude.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

terentii and DSYoungEsq get into a about whether or not some alien puppet croaked in the ST:TOS episode "Catspaw."

Starts here at post #65.

Hey, I like Star Trek as much as anyone else, but I don't let myself get bogged down in minutiae. It's like William Shatner said on SNL, "Get a life, will ya?"

One thing I've learned about the Dope, besides "don't provoke the atheists," is that you shouldn't try to argue with terentii about TOS. That guy could lecture you all day long about the function of each button on Kirk's chair.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

This zombie thread is a veritable festival of durpitude.

TLDR

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

One thing I've learned about the Dope, besides "don't provoke the atheists," is that you shouldn't try to argue with terentii about TOS. That guy could lecture you all day long about the function of each button on Kirk's chair.

WHAT HAVE YOU GOT AGAINST ATHEISTS???? DOES YOUR SKY FRIEND TELL YOU TO PROVOKE US???

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

WHAT HAVE YOU GOT AGAINST ATHEISTS???? DOES YOUR SKY FRIEND TELL YOU TO PROVOKE US???

God bless you and them always!!!

[Someone]

What about that shitty country singer? Not him?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

What about that shitty country singer? Not him?

She's all hung up on a new guy. A dead one. Suicide.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

TLDR

Oh, excuuuse me. I failed to specify that there was really no need to read the OP.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

One thing I've learned about the Dope, besides "don't provoke the atheists," is that you shouldn't try to argue with terentii about TOS. That guy could lecture you all day long about the function of each button on Kirk's chair.

Oh yeah? Well, what was the combination of Kirk's safe in "The Tholian Web"? I'll bet you don't know that one, do you?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

She's all hung up on a new guy. A dead one. Suicide.

Ian Curtis? Kurt Cobain? The guy from Soundgarden?