More grief from teenager

[hilarity n. suze]

He has discovered, and enthusiastically embraced...Axe Body Wash.

The horror, the horror...the WHOLE HOUSE reeks of it.

It is time for The Talk. Or I guess I could just let him repel the entire sophomore class.

His friends don't smell like this!

[Zombies!]

At least he washes. Though I'm on the fence as to which is worse, teenage BO or Axe body wash...

[Caprese]

I feel your pain, but must agree that it's good that he at least washes.
The first time I saw an Axe commercial, I thought it was some sort of satirical comedy bit, like a fake commercial from SNL or something.

[Wolf Larsen]

The Axe commercials are great. The product itself, not so much. Axe is the Hai-Karate of this generation.

[squarepeg]

awwww he's preening... how cute.

[eleanorigby]

#1 son did this for a bit. I bit my tongue and within a few weeks, he had toned it down. Now he doesn't use Axe at all, but the hygiene part has stayed (thank god).

This may be self-correcting is what I'm saying. His peers will take care of it for you.

[Shawn]

Put a little bit of something foul smelling in with the body wash. That should expedite the process.

[Uthrecht]

My first thought was that you should take a poll of same-age girls as it sounds likely that they would agree with you, and submit the results if they do.

My second thought was that if there was even one outlier in the school, he thought she was hot, and she had mentioned her views to him, that would both explain the body wash and mean that you're not gonna budge him.

[Pure]

Axe.

Not Axe.

Anything but Axe.

Can you pour out the Axe and replace it with Johnson's baby shampoo? Remember how good that smelled?

[Bodhiman]

Our oldest used Axe for a brief time. Fortunately, his little brother left the lid open in the bath. The house smelled of it for a couple days, then it was gone. I switched it out with Patchouli and Rose Oil soap, but he began speaking with a lisp and wearing skinny jeans, so I got him some Old Spice, like I use. All is well now.

[Knee]

Originally Posted by hilarity n. suze

He has discovered, and enthusiastically embraced...Axe Body Wash.

The horror, the horror...the WHOLE HOUSE reeks of it.

It is time for The Talk. Or I guess I could just let him repel the entire sophomore class.

His friends don't smell like this!

It's best that you have the talk early on. My brother is almost 22 and still using that shit.

ETA: When he bothers to shower. :eew:

[jali]

My son went through the Axe phase too and hugging him was a trial, but it only lasted for a month or so.

[Rebo]

Oh god - I remember when ReboSon started using the after shave. I raised holy hell and told him he was not to use that IN THE HOUSE, EVER! Ugh.

I'm extremely sensitive to smells. I won't even let my husband use scented deodorant. Blech.

[Solfy]

I think the teenaged boy that lived in our house before we bought it used Axe. We moved in 3.5yrs ago. One room still smells of it.

[Patience Worth]

Why isn't he chained to the wall in the basement like most teenage boys? You can wash him, or not, with whatever you want, when you want, how you want and not have to deal with any odors you find offensive. Come on! Get with the program. When he turns 18 you can let him out and he can do whatever the hell he wants (you are no longer legally responsible.)

[Shawn]

Originally Posted by Patience Worth

Why isn't he chained to the wall in the basement like most teenage boys? You can wash him, or not, with whatever you want, when you want, how you want and not have to deal with any odors you find offensive. Come on! Get with the program. When he turns 18 you can let him out and he can do whatever the hell he wants (you are no longer legally responsible.)

Because I believe that constitutes statutory rape.

[eleanorigby]

Not if you wash him with a spray nozzle and rinse with a bucket poured over him. Worked for me.

[Dragonlady]

All teenagers should live in caves at the edge of town where they can be smelly and surly to each other.

[Uthrecht]

Originally Posted by Dragonlady

All teenagers should live in caves at the edge of town where they can be smelly and surly to each other.

Just make sure it's a different edge of town from the menstruating women. That would get awkward.

[Dragonlady]

Goes without saying.

[THespos]

The Blue Tent?

[The Superhero]

Originally Posted by Shawn

Put a little bit of something foul smelling in with the body wash. That should expedite the process.

Yeah, something really foul-smelling. Like Axe bodywash! That shit reeks to high heaven, man! Mix some Axe bodywash into his Axe bodywash and he'll stop using it immediately!

[hilarity n. suze]

Originally Posted by The Superhero

Yeah, something really foul-smelling. Like Axe bodywash! That shit reeks to high heaven, man! Mix some Axe bodywash into his Axe bodywash and he'll stop using it immediately!

Exactly my thought when I read it...

[hilarity n. suze]

He wasn't quite so fragrant this morning...or maybe I'd just got used to it [::shudder::]. Febreze pet odor eliminator took care of the house and his room...for now...

[hilarity n. suze]

Originally Posted by Patience Worth

Why isn't he chained to the wall in the basement like most teenage boys? You can wash him, or not, with whatever you want, when you want, how you want and not have to deal with any odors you find offensive. Come on! Get with the program. When he turns 18 you can let him out and he can do whatever the hell he wants (you are no longer legally responsible.)

Excellent idea. But I should have done this two years ago, when I could still arm-wrestle him, and win.

[Tabula Rasa]

Twenty-five years ago, it was Polo by Ralph Lauren.

[Jeff]

Originally Posted by Uthrecht

Just make sure it's a different edge of town from the menstruating women. That would get awkward.

And stay away from the old quarry, that's where we're setting up the leper colony.

[Solfy]

Originally Posted by Tabula Rasa

Twenty-five years ago, it was Polo by Ralph Lauren.

Fifteen years ago it was CK One, which was marketed as being a unisex fragrance so it was everywhere.

[Jeff]

You'll all pry my Drakkar Noir from my cold dead hands.

[eleanorigby]

<moves upwind from Jeff>

[3acres]

Originally Posted by Jeff

You'll all pry my Drakkar Noir from my cold dead hands.

One of my brothers-in-law likes that, too. My sister must like it, since she suggested it when I was shopping for his birthday present a couple years ago. I just smell like soap (or sweat or garlic if recent activity overwhelms the soap).

[Romola]

I don't think we have Axe here, but the equivalent might be Lynx? Still, the washing is good, I wouldn't like a lad to be discouraged from that. It will sort itself out.

[Panacea]

Originally Posted by jali

My son went through the Axe phase too and hugging him was a trial, but it only lasted for a month or so.

Wait ... your son lets you hug him ?!

[Euryphaessa]

Are you sure he's not using the bodyspray too? I've used my brother's Axe bodywash before when I was out of my own brand, and I didn't find it all that noticeable on me. The bodyspray, however, should be fucking banned. I knew guys in high school that thought drenching themselves in that shit was an acceptable substitute for a shower. Gross.

[Zombies!]

Originally Posted by Romola

I don't think we have Axe here, but the equivalent might be Lynx? Still, the washing is good, I wouldn't like a lad to be discouraged from that. It will sort itself out.

Yes, Axe is what the Murrkins and Canackistanis call Lynx.

[mehgs]

I am ashamed to admit that my first case of teenage luv was with a guy who wore Brut.

Even years later, smelling it could make me feel...tingly.

[Zombies!]

My ex wears Brut deodorant. I like it. It smells masculine without beating you over the head with odor.

[ncoggneato]

While reading this whole thread, I was half day dreaming of my years in Junior High when the boys first discovered cologne. I LOOOOOOOOOVED walking down the hall behind a group of boys, skipping through their Colors by Benetton breeze. I loved how after a hug or a slow dance my shirt reeked of them due to the dipping of themselves DIRECTLY into the bottle of cologne. Awwwwwweee... the good ol' days.

Kinda grosses me out now to REALLY think about it... It actually seems to bring a tickle to the back of my throat resulting in my having to clear it/cough as if to say, "sheesh. kids".

When did I get old?

[mswas]

Originally Posted by eleanorigby

#1 son did this for a bit. I bit my tongue and within a few weeks, he had toned it down. Now he doesn't use Axe at all, but the hygiene part has stayed (thank god).

This may be self-correcting is what I'm saying. His peers will take care of it for you.

A gentle reminder goes a long way though. You could talk to him about applying it properly, not using too much. The peer self-correction can be kind of humiliating.

[mswas]

Originally Posted by Bodhiman

Our oldest used Axe for a brief time. Fortunately, his little brother left the lid open in the bath. The house smelled of it for a couple days, then it was gone. I switched it out with Patchouli and Rose Oil soap, but he began speaking with a lisp and wearing skinny jeans, so I got him some Old Spice, like I use. All is well now.

No offense but Old Spice smells pretty terrible too.

[mswas]

Originally Posted by Zombies!

Yes, Axe is what the Murrkins and Canackistanis call Lynx.

And when you don't have the time to wash you merkin your can just cover it in Axe!

[SmartAleq]

Cologne smells different on different people, just like perfume does. I've known some people that Old Spice smelled good on--unfortunately two of them were my dad and my horrible ex, which did nothing for my peace of mind. Can't stand the stuff now.

[Guinastasia]

I have yet to smell Axe -- is this a good thing or a bad thing? (Bad, because I don't want to be unpleasantly surprised)

[Anacanapuna]

Look at it this way, Suze -- either he'll learn soon that it's actually a girl repellant and quit using the stuff, or he won't learn, and you won't have to worry about paternity tests. Either way, you win.

[iampunha]

Originally Posted by Guinastasia

I have yet to smell Axe -- is this a good thing or a bad thing? (Bad, because I don't want to be unpleasantly surprised)

How could smelling something pungent and often paired with angst be good? You'll know it when you smell it, and until then, you haven't so insulted your nose. And mouth. (And hair. And fingers. And everything else, really. It's like soot. It sticks to things.)

[Bodhiman]

Originally Posted by mswas

No offense but Old Spice smells pretty terrible too.

How DARE you!

[Auntbeast]

Yet another reason I have a girl. My husband and I differ dramatically in what smells we find appealing. Basically, if he likes it, it sends me into painful spasms of revulsion culminating in a headache that lasts a full day. He actually smells really good in Old Spice but my favorite is Joop. He's more of a Calvin Klein scent liker.

He brought home Axe...ONCE. It is banished.

[The Devil's Grandmother]

Originally Posted by Jeff

You'll all pry my Drakkar Noir from my cold dead hands.

::sniff, sniff:: My highschool sweetie wore that stuff and I still like it. I followed a cloud of it around the grocery store the other day.

[Romola]

My dad uses Drakkar Noir, so no please!

[Auntbeast]

Originally Posted by Romola

My dad uses Drakkar Noir, so no please!

You sure know how to make a person feel old.