The thread in which we act as adults and discuss serious stuff.

[JimNightshade]

Ok Go!

I would start, but I am not sure how this works.

[Kat]

Yeah, like that'll ever happen.

[BJMoose]

Back in the day when I was a lad we didn't have no threads. Not even for clothing. Wore breechclouts knitted from earthworms. Tough days, those.

[JimNightshade]

Define earthworm please!

Wait.

Nah, never mind, this was a silly idea.

[tosses a cold brew moose's way]

[toss]

[Kat]

You had earthworms? We would've killed to have earthworms. We only had snakes. Poisonous snakes. And they bit.

[running coach]

Originally Posted by Kat

You had earthworms? We would've killed to have earthworms. We only had snakes. Poisonous snakes. And they bit.

Poisonous snakes are harmless unless you eat them. Good thing you didn't have venomous snakes.

We had to wear live lions because there were no rocks large enough to kill the minks.

[Jaglavak]

And then after we cleaned the cave with our tongues, Pappy would thrash us to sleep wiv a broken bottle.

[Kat]

You had a cave? Lucky you. We just slept outside on the rocks.

[Khampelf]

You had rocks? Luxury. We slept in the trees. Venomous trees.

[BJMoose]

Fortunately, my tribe invented beer.

[Rat Diva]

VENOMOUS beer.

[Pencil]

Served in bottles entwined in razor wire.

[Jaglavak]

Great! It'll go with the rest of the decor.

[BJMoose]

For lava lamps, we used real lava.

Non-venomous, of course. All venom and no play makes Blarghu a dull boy. Catatonic, even.

[Flying Saucerian]

We lived in a pool and ate moss and small fish we caught with our hands. Mom was really into the 'Aquatic Ape' Theory...

[Scuba Ben]

In 2005, the British police became serious and organized.

[BJMoose]

Did they get rid of the funny-looking hats?

[Anacanapuna]

Hmm. Back when I was a kid we had a coal furnace, mattresses on our spring-strung bunk beds, quilts, sheets, pillowcases ... we ate hamburger (a lot of hamburger) and noodles (a lot of noodles) and sometimes ham and beans. I only had to walk about 10 blocks to school, but when it was so cold the snow crunched under your feet, Dad took us to school in the mornings. We got pretty good educa ....

What!?

Oh.

Did I mention the furnace was coal? Had to fish the fuckin' clinkers out with tongs and shovel coal into the screw-feed hopper. Man, life sucked!

[Kat]

*throws tomatoes at 'puna*

[Khampelf]

*stands behind Kat and contemplates revenge*

*Thinks of the nice lunch 'Puna once bought him.*

*Kills Kat with a pencil to the temple*

[BJMoose]

We didn't have pencils. Had to murder write with lumps of coal.

[Rat Diva]

You had coal? We had to chop down venomous trees to burn for charcoal for to kill people write with, and the damn things always had elves khamping out in them. They were usually pretty chill about it but sometimes they'd sneak up and stabmurder you with pencils.

[Scuba Ben]

If I never see the inside of another coal mine, it'll be too soon. Tunnel mining, for any mineral, is seriously dirty work. (And it ain't done dirt cheap.)

[Glazer]

We had nothing! Just formless nothingness floating in the void.

[Jaglavak]

You had nothingness? Lucky bastard! All we had was an ocean of red hot knives. Had to use red hot knives for everything, even toilet paper.

[Flying Saucerian]

I grew up... during THE SEVENTIES!

(Dramatic sting music, people screaming and running)

[Khampelf]

I'm going to put off going to the bank because I'm expecting another check and that will save a trip. It can wait until Thursday's shopping.

[Colonel Plink]

I have a meeting at 2:00.

Meetings. Hmmmpfff.

[Rat Diva]

Originally Posted by Scuba Ben

If I never see the inside of another coal mine, it'll be too soon. Tunnel mining, for any mineral, is seriously dirty work. (And it ain't done dirt cheap.)

Ugh, and all those twisty passages, all alike...

[JimNightshade]

Originally Posted by Rat Diva

You had coal? We had to chop down venomous trees to burn for charcoal for to kill people write with, and the damn things always had elves khamping out in them. They were usually pretty chill about it but sometimes they'd sneak up and stabmurder you with pencils.

Gasp!

What did you do with your Chopper and lawn darts?

[Scuba Ben]

Originally Posted by Rat Diva

Ugh, and all those twisty passages, all alike...

To be fair, the passages were generally straight. that makes it easier for the machinery to chew up the mountain's guts.

[JimNightshade]

Originally Posted by Scuba Ben

To be fair, the passages were generally straight. that makes it easier for the machinery to chew up the mountain's goats.

FTFY.

[Rat Diva]

Originally Posted by JimNightshade

Gasp!

What did you do with your Chopper and lawn darts?

They come in handy for all those summer BBQs.

[BJMoose]

Ah, yes. Nothing like goat barbecued over coal.

[Jaglavak]

If only that were a good thing.

[Anacanapuna]

Originally Posted by Colonel Plink

I have a meeting at 2:00.

Meetings. Hmmmpfff.

Hey, it's a meeting of radio guys. Y'all just sit around smokin' that marihoochadoobie stuff and eatin' Doritos for an hour.

[BJMoose]

Originally Posted by Jaglavak

If only that were a good thing.

How about this, then: I was part of a special team involved in the ritual preparation of selected cuts of a male sheep. We began cooking at sunset. So, o'er the ram parts we watched by the twilight's last gleaming.

[Scuba Ben]

Originally Posted by BJMoose

How about this, then: I was part of a special team involved in the ritual preparation of selected cuts of a male sheep. We began cooking at sunset. So, o'er the ram parts we watched by the twilight's last gleaming.

Depending on the ritual^*, I may be OK with that. Though you could have used the final wool trimmings.

*: Kosher slaughtering, soaking, and salting of course. I would love to try fresh roasted mutton.

[Khampelf]

Originally Posted by BJMoose

How about this, then: I was part of a special team involved in the ritual preparation of selected cuts of a male sheep. We began cooking at sunset. So, o'er the ram parts we watched by the twilight's last gleaming.

*looks around for Kat*


You better take it on the lamb after that one, buddy. Wooo-eeee!

[BJMoose]

Hey. I've been ill. Okay? Yesterday I wondered if I might need to go to the hospital.

[Khampelf]

Wassamatta U medical center?

[Kat]

*nukes entire thread* Sorry (not sorry), there was a pun infestation.

[Khampelf]

There's mutton wrong with this thread, Kat.

[Flying Saucerian]

Baaaaaaah,humbug...

[Mr. Plumbean]

Don't forget to schedule your five year colonoscopy and file your quarterly anticipated tax report, gents. #Adulting

[Jaglavak]

Originally Posted by Mr. Plumbean

Don't forget to schedule your five year colonoscopy...

That's really between you and Victor/Victoria down at Rosie's House Of Unusual Pleasures, isn't it? #Adultering

[JimNightshade]

Nods approvingly

Yessir Giraffe Sir,the thread is moving along nicely Sir.

[sheepish smile]

[BJMoose]

Originally Posted by Mr. Plumbean

Don't forget to schedule your five year colonoscopy and file your quarterly anticipated tax report, gents. #Adulting

I always wondered about the timing of those two.


P.S.: you blew the punch line, elf-boy.

[Khampelf]

Originally Posted by BJMoose

P.S.: you blew the punch line, elf-boy.

I wish I knew what you were talking about. I'm on acid, I don't see straight lines.

[Nonny J. Nonnington III]

Originally Posted by Rat Diva

Ugh, and all those twisty passages, all alike...

Be careful, or you will be eaten by a grue.