If an Elf on a shelf farts - isn't that a serious hazard?

[JimNightshade]

I mean, with candles close by and what not.

[running coach]

Only if you get in the way of the flying elf.

[Rat Diva]

I just kind of love that the next thread after this one is "so many questions!"

As I understand it, elf poots consist of peppermint and sparkles instead of methane, and so aren't combustible. The danger lies in pooting so hard that he launches himself off the shelf onto the floor, where The Cats can get hold of him.

[Sputnik]

Originally Posted by running coach

Only if you get in the way of the flying elf parts.

Fixed that for you.

Although, unlike chicken, elf thighs are the best part.

[running coach]

Originally Posted by Rat Diva

I just kind of love that the next thread after this one is "so many questions!"

As I understand it, elf poots consist of peppermint and sparkles instead of methane, and so aren't combustible. The danger lies in pooting so hard that he launches himself off the shelf onto the floor, where The Cats can get hold of him.

Why is Grumpy Cat still grumpy? She's eating elf.

[JackieLikesVariety]

[Flying Saucerian]

No. It's a hilarious hazard...

[3acres]

One can only hope the sleazy little snitch dies in a fireball of his own making.

[Borborygmi]

Christmas is a time of tradition. Stuff that was around when I was a child qualifies as tradition. Newer stuff is evaluated on a case-by-case basis.

I have begrudgingly come around to accepting inflatable Christmas lawn decorations as traditional. The better ones, anyway. Christmas laser projections on the sides of houses are still too new to be traditional, but I have fast-tracked their application and anticipate accepting them as traditional before the decade is out. Congratulations to Prep & Landing for becoming a traditional Christmas television special, and I wish Trolls: Holiday in Harmony well in its future endeavors.

The Elf on the Shelf is an interesting case in that it is somehow even further from acceptance as traditional than when it was introduced in 2005. It is, at best, still years away from me not wanting to punch it in the face every time I see it.

I appreciate that this does not address the particular question posed in the OP but I feel it provides valuable context to the debate.

[Rat Diva]

I have two crocheted elf dolls that my mother made to go on the Christmas tree when I was a wee tot. I still put them on the tree, although when I put them away I make sure to put them together in a compromising position.

[Rat Diva]

Originally Posted by running coach

Why is Grumpy Cat still grumpy? She's eating elf.

Because Elf on the Shelf isn't a happy elf. He's an elf with such heinously low self-esteem that he feels compelled to spy on little children and fink them out to Santa because that's the only way he finds joy - in the fear and paranoia he invokes in others. He's a wretched petty tyrant. The other elves all loathe him because he's like that office jerk who's always trying to get you in trouble with the boss for missing a comma or whining at the elf ladies about whyyyyyyyyyyy won't they go out with him just once!!!

Elf on the Shelf has within him a withered, leathery, nutmeat of a soul, and its essence permeates his very being. Its flavor is bitter indeed, Grumpy Cat knows from bitter.

And that, Virginia, is why Grumpy Cat is still grumpy while eating Elf Formerly on the Shelf.

Now, if he were a normal happy jolly elf with a juicy sweet sugarplum of a soul... well, cats can't taste sweetness so Grumpy Cat would still be grumpy.

[JimNightshade]

Thank you, I have learned a lot.

[What Exit?]

Silly man, Elves do not fart, occasionally they pass gas but they do not fart.