Area 51: Raiders of the Lost Snark

[Someone]

And don't forget... you are a masked superhero guy!! That's what really makes it awesome.

[Someone]

I think that's the ONLY thing he ever posts about. I don't think I've ever seen him talk about anything else, or participate in any other topic. It's only in threads that can somehow be related to his fetish.

[Someone]

OK, so he has found a way to wallow in his pathetic loserhood without actually damaging anyone. Partial credit.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

How do you wear sweatpants?

And there's a parody thread. At least I hope it's a parody.

[Someone]

This guy is just beyond bizarre:

In this thread, Is the Jimmy Kimmel Halloween prank cruel or damaging to children?, Henryunderborn says this:

Originally Posted by Someone

Short answer... It's pretty fucked up.

Kinda like that joke something something stop crying wipe your bloody **** on its doll/ shirt

Alas we went to war in the Middle East it's time to regale them with our tales of heros and the cost of love

Grandwino questions him:

Originally Posted by Someone

Wat?

Originally Posted by Someone

The joke.. it goes something like... Why was the little kid crying? Because you wiped your bloody penis on its doll?

seemed a fitting comparison, with the reactions.

What the flying fuck???

[Someone]

Cracked has an anti-durp article up today. He's going out of his way to talk about his love for common foods. It would give Dopers the vapors.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

The joke.. it goes something like... Why was the little kid crying? Because you wiped your bloody penis on its doll?

T-shirt slogan!

(Nobody steal this idea.)

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Cracked has an anti-durp article up today. He's going out of his way to talk about his love for common foods. It would give Dopers the vapors.

McRib is back?

:: runs off to McDonald's ::



:: returns home disappointed because it's only 9AM and it's way too early for lunch ::

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

This guy is just beyond bizarre:

In this thread, Is the Jimmy Kimmel Halloween prank cruel or damaging to children?, Henryunderborn says this:

Grandwino questions him:

What the flying fuck???

I'm calling it. Guy's a fucking troll.

[Someone]

To be fair, the classic making-a-child-cry-by-wiping-your-bloody-penis-on-a-doll joke was never meant to be read from the written page; it was all about Bob Newhart's delivery and timing.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

To be fair, the classic making-a-child-cry-by-wiping-your-bloody-penis-on-a-doll joke was never meant to be read from the written page; it was all about Bob Newhart's delivery and timing.

Newhart? I though that one was Cosby's?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Newhart? I though that one was Cosby's?

I first heard it from Allen Ludden on Password.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I first heard it from Allen Ludden on Password.

That sounds right.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I think that's the ONLY thing he ever posts about. I don't think I've ever seen him talk about anything else, or participate in any other topic. It's only in threads that can somehow be related to his fetish.

He posts a lot about The Big Bang Theory.

[Someone]

Which is odd as there is not as much women punching in that show as one would expect.

[Someone]

Yeah, but there's that one smokin hottie who he can imagine he'd like to punch. But in this cruel unfair jungle of a world, there's always the risk that she might hit him right back. And that's just too awful to contemplate.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Grandwino questions him:

What the flying fuck???

The joke, I believe, is that the little kid is crying because of the soiled doll rather than the (implied) rape to which s/he was just subjected. (Black humor at its darkest.)

Why this struck Henry as comparable to the Kimmel prank, I won't dare to speculate.

[Someone]

Altho that thread also gives us the secret origin of ZPG Zealot:

It's a minor annoying prank to pull on your kids if they fall for it, but there is a lot worse parents can do. My mother regularly stole my candy for real and never showed any regret about it.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Yeah, but there's that one smokin hottie who he can imagine he'd like to punch. But in this cruel unfair jungle of a world, there's always the risk that she might hit him right back. And that's just too awful to contemplate.

He probably watches this scene over and over.

[Someone]

OK, who's sock is this: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=740131 ?

[Someone]

That's no sock. That's the real Burpy. He has earth shattering news he is about to share with us.

[Someone]

Budget Player Cadet wishes having sex with 12 year olds was legal, because of course he does.

Originally Posted by Someone

Yeah, see, the problem with this is, what are we supposed to do, ask each girl we sleep with for their ID? And be good at recognizing fake IDs? The whole concept of "age of consent" laws is fatally flawed in any number of ways - it's entirely possible for women who aren't adults to consent to or even go looking for sex. One of my friends from childhood was fairly promiscuous with people around her age at 12. To set the age of consent at 18 is ridiculous. 16 even is pushing it. The concept has some flaws.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...4&postcount=29

[Someone]

Cubsfan wants to hear your hilarious story about your mouth herpes.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

That's no sock. That's the real Burpy. He has earth shattering news he is about to share with us.

Then... Who's the fake Burpy?

[Someone]

I'm starting to suspect this guy: @Burpy

http://www.giraffeboards.com/member.php?u=2835

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

The joke, I believe, is that the little kid is crying because of the soiled doll rather than the (implied) rape to which s/he was just subjected. (Black humor at its darkest.)

Why this struck Henry as comparable to the Kimmel prank, I won't dare to speculate.

I assume he's been the victim of each.

[Someone]

Retro snark time!

I know the Kaitlyn thing has been discussed many times, and I've seen the thread where's she's outed as a fraud (and then admits to it) a few times.here's the thread.

But I'd never read the one of the threads leading up to that, where she details her first days as a transgender (or is it transsexual? I'm not sure of the difference) teacher in texas. Here's that thread.

Holy fuckballs, how was that shit not made as complete fucking fiction from jump? I realize that's easy to say in retrospect, but come the fuck on. The inspiringly supportive principal? Her witty comebacks and repartee during the staff and parents meetings? The more or less complete acceptance of everyone? Not to mention the detailed descriptions of every outfit she wore. It reads like a bad screenplay. And they ate it up. People even suggested making a film of her story.

It's such a classic example of dopes embracing a fantasy situation over reality. One of the main ideas of the dope was skepticism. Don't just say something is so - prove it. Yet people spin these bullshit stories and they eat it up like a nonny going after the last cheeto all in the name of tolerance. They don't want to hear about discrimination, hate crimes, the gossip that stops when one enters a room, being forced to leave a job because the complaints got too loud, all of which are real things that transgendered folks have had to deal with.

Its like the whole umkay thing. They don't want to hear about someone having to wipe her ass, or dealing with people treating you differently, or a complete loss of independence. They want a perky blonde whos super rich and skydives and has an active sex life and for whom the disability is just a minor inconvenience. And again, they eat it up. Then with the inevitable outing, we get pages of tortured excuses about how maybe just maybe if you turn your head and squint at it just right, maybe they really were telling the truth. (Opleaseoplease). Smartest folks on the internet, right there.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

T-shirt slogan!

(Nobody steal this idea.)

OK, consider it stolen.

[Someone]

I think one reason was that Kaitlyn was a long time poster. In retrospect, I feel stupid falling for her story, but at the time...what can I say?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Retro snark time!



I know the Kaitlyn thing has been discussed many times, and I've seen the thread where's she's outed as a fraud (and then admits to it) a few times.here's the thread.



But I'd never read the one of the threads leading up to that, where she details her first days as a transgender (or is it transsexual? I'm not sure of the difference) teacher in texas. Here's that thread.



Holy fuckballs, how was that shit not made as complete fucking fiction from jump? I realize that's easy to say in retrospect, but come the fuck on. The inspiringly supportive principal? Her witty comebacks and repartee during the staff and parents meetings? The more or less complete acceptance of everyone? Not to mention the detailed descriptions of every outfit she wore. It reads like a bad screenplay. And they ate it up. People even suggested making a film of her story.



It's such a classic example of dopes embracing a fantasy situation over reality. One of the main ideas of the dope was skepticism. Don't just say something is so - prove it. Yet people spin these bullshit stories and they eat it up like a nonny going after the last cheeto all in the name of tolerance. They don't want to hear about discrimination, hate crimes, the gossip that stops when one enters a room, being forced to leave a job because the complaints got too loud, all of which are real things that transgendered folks have had to deal with.



Its like the whole umkay thing. They don't want to hear about someone having to wipe her ass, or dealing with people treating you differently, or a complete loss of independence. They want a perky blonde whos super rich and skydives and has an active sex life and for whom the disability is just a minor inconvenience. And again, they eat it up. Then with the inevitable outing, we get pages of tortured excuses about how maybe just maybe if you turn your head and squint at it just right, maybe they really were telling the truth. (Opleaseoplease). Smartest folks on the internet, right there.

I wasn't in the lead up thread, but I believed "her" story, so guilty as charged. Why? Well, 1.) I'd never even heard of anyone trolling to that extent before on the Internet. It was a new concept to me after her expose broke. 2.) I'd just started learning about TG issues and what a horrible time they faced in just about everything. As such, I did want to believe that, just once, someone going through all that was having a good time of it. Supportive people around them, not getting lots of discrimination, just finally, having no shit sent their way. As implausible as it seems now, it was a symbol of what I hoped for the future...... where everyone was allowed to be who they were. And 3.) since I wanted to believe it was on the up and up, I didn't delve too deeply on whether or not the story even made any sense. I bet that last aspect happened to others too, but I know I was blinded by the shiny, happy, hopefulness of it all.

Looking back, I'm appalled that I was so gullible. But like most things, it served as a good lesson for later. Thankfully, I wasn't so naive with our plucky quadriplegic. Now, I'm sometimes occasionally too skeptical. What a trade-off.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I think one reason was that Kaitlyn was a long time poster. In retrospect, I feel stupid falling for her story, but at the time...what can I say?

I don't think being a long time poster matters. I think expecto hit the nail on the head. Durpers lurrrve fantasy. There's no better way to troll MPSimpletons than to feed them a big healthy dose of sugar-coated bullshit. It's exactly why they fell so in love with umkay.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

That's no sock. That's the real Burpy. He has earth shattering news he is about to share with us.

I can't wait to get my mind blowiated.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

OK, consider it stolen.

Aw, sneaky!

Another money-maker, walked out the door.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

PS: Fenris, we need an 'alien' smilie. Please? Please?

Ok. But only because you asked nice. :alien:

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I can't wait to get my mind blowiated.

feeling a bit of anticipation myownself!


:alien: <

[Someone]

Okay guys what's with the expectoshornscrotum tag? I demand an explanation.

[Someone]

New Shagnasty story.
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...&postcount=155

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Retro snark time!

I know the Kaitlyn thing has been discussed many times, and I've seen the thread where's she's outed as a fraud (and then admits to it) a few times.here's the thread.

But I'd never read the one of the threads leading up to that, where she details her first days as a transgender (or is it transsexual? I'm not sure of the difference) teacher in texas. Here's that thread.

Holy fuckballs, how was that shit not made as complete fucking fiction from jump? I realize that's easy to say in retrospect, but come the fuck on. The inspiringly supportive principal? Her witty comebacks and repartee during the staff and parents meetings? The more or less complete acceptance of everyone? Not to mention the detailed descriptions of every outfit she wore. It reads like a bad screenplay. And they ate it up. People even suggested making a film of her story.

It's such a classic example of dopes embracing a fantasy situation over reality. One of the main ideas of the dope was skepticism. Don't just say something is so - prove it. Yet people spin these bullshit stories and they eat it up like a nonny going after the last cheeto all in the name of tolerance. They don't want to hear about discrimination, hate crimes, the gossip that stops when one enters a room, being forced to leave a job because the complaints got too loud, all of which are real things that transgendered folks have had to deal with.

Its like the whole umkay thing. They don't want to hear about someone having to wipe her ass, or dealing with people treating you differently, or a complete loss of independence. They want a perky blonde whos super rich and skydives and has an active sex life and for whom the disability is just a minor inconvenience. And again, they eat it up. Then with the inevitable outing, we get pages of tortured excuses about how maybe just maybe if you turn your head and squint at it just right, maybe they really were telling the truth. (Opleaseoplease). Smartest folks on the internet, right there.

Too mother fucking long - did not fucking read.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

New Shagnasty story.
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...&postcount=155

Well sure because being on top of a 20' tank provides a much better view of the stars.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Okay guys what's with the expectoshornscrotum tag? I demand an explanation.

Ball sac and menthol shaving cream, I'd guess. Do you have a hairless testes holder?

[Someone]

Enjoy: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=740142

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Enjoy: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=740142

the OP's name Uosdwis R. Dewoh - does that look Finnish? because I have no idea.

to me it looks like a whattaya call it - when you mix up the letters.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

the OP's name Uosdwis R. Dewoh - does that look Finnish? because I have no idea.

to me it looks like a whattaya call it - when you mix up the letters.

It's not an anagram, it's upside-down. Sort of.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Retro snark time!

I know the Kaitlyn thing has been discussed many times, and I've seen the thread where's she's outed as a fraud (and then admits to it) a few times.here's the thread.

So, is that pronounced Kate-linn or Kat'leen?

[Someone]

Here you go.

[Someone]

Homer J. Simpson, -ish.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Enjoy: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=740142

Threadwinner.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

the OP's name Uosdwis R. Dewoh - does that look Finnish? because I have no idea.

to me it looks like a whattaya call it - when you mix up the letters.

Originally Posted by Someone

Homer J. Simpson, -ish.

Like this?

uosdɯıs ˙ɾ ɹəɯoɥ

[Someone]

rsa insists that you can't get a Yahoo Mail address anymore, and gets all huffy when someone claims otherwise.

[Someone]

John Clay, Lego klepto.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=740170