53: Herbie the derp bug.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Who does that Cochrane think he is anyway, a Hall of Fame catcher? Pfft.

I'll have you know I also wrote "Summertime Blues" and by 2061 I plan to unveil faster than light space travel and make first contact with extraterrestrial intelligent beings from another solar system. :alien:

Also, Page 3, biatchez.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

(Pin-the-tail-on-the-camelopardalis would be a splendid game for her super-gifted kid's next birthday party.

It would be a nice follow up to Game #1, "Design and Build a Stepladder which Will Support Your Body Weight Using Only Crazy Straws and Buttercream Icing."

That's assuming any kids got through the door after being made to solve a calculus problem before being allowed in.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

On my planet we deem it illogical to offer or accept a gratuity beyond the agreed purchase price for a service, for fear of creating a receding progression of smaller and smaller gratuities each offered for the previous gratuity until the very fabric of space-time folded in upon itself. And all the trees are purple and the sky is orange.

Who is that Aussie poster who wanders in to any tipping thread to tell us Aussies dont tip? (which is wrong, incidentally. At really high end restaurants there is tipping and the Tip Jar is endemic. But yeah, the usual 15% after eatings at a diner doesnt happen. You might leave the change. Or not.)

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Didn't see any snark about this one yet:

27 year old virgin wants to know if he should hire an escort.

The troll is too obvious.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

The troll is too obvious.

That might be a troll, but where else can you get a large sample size of over thirty year old virgins?

[Someone]

In a Mythbusters thread, aceplace57 fondly remembers how awesome it was when they shot a bullet out of a gun and the bullet just stopped in midair and dropped to the ground!

A couple of Dopers point out that this didn't happen, it couldn't have happened, and the YouTube video acey included doesn't show it happening either. They politely refrain from asking if he acquired his knowledge of physics from Roadrunner cartoons.

[Someone]

In other shopping channel snark thread news, the Liquidation Channel guy is spamming it up in there too.

That is the thread that just keeps on giving. I hope the Shopping Bags stay forever and ever amen![/QUOTE]

What is it with people* who refer to message board threads as "the chat" or "this chat"? Why does it make me want to twist them into teeny tiny pretzel shapes?

*Actually only this guy and the lass obsessed with some singer who kept blessing us.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

More hobby talk

Came here to post this. Dude is trolling, right? I barely notice him, but when I do, it's because of something completely ridiculous. Like his girlfriend drama for instance, whose details I cannot recall exactly, but there was something about her being underaged and/or slightly retarded, with added drama of the mother having a shitfit about it. Whatever it was, it was absurd, as is everything else I notice from him. Dude has got to be trolling.

Also, why does this emoticon exist?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Came here to post this. Dude is trolling, right? I barely notice him, but when I do, it's because of something completely ridiculous. Like his girlfriend drama for instance, whose details I cannot recall exactly, but there was something about her being underaged and/or slightly retarded, with added drama of the mother having a shitfit about it.

The show has adult fans and that the "ponies" are supposed to be above the age of consent, therefore someone writing wank stories about it can't possibly be a pedophile.



... is (I'm guessing) what went through his mind during the five seconds he thought it over before starting that thread.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Also, why does this emoticon exist?

Because Fenris is a terrible human being.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Fenris is a... human being.

Objection! Unsupported conjecture in abscence of evidence, your honor.

[Someone]

Well played, Jaggy.

You know, the funny thing about Fenris is, like a repellent smell in your basement, over time, you become, not exactly fond of, but used to, his presence.

[Someone]

I like how BPC is pretending he's got a question when he really wants people to beg him to link to some of his shitty My Little Pony fanfic.

But the thread is entertaining at least.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

In a Mythbusters thread, aceplace57 fondly remembers how awesome it was when they shot a bullet out of a gun and the bullet just stopped in midair and dropped to the ground!

A couple of Dopers point out that this didn't happen, it couldn't have happened, and the YouTube video acey included doesn't show it happening either. They politely refrain from asking if he acquired his knowledge of physics from Roadrunner cartoons.

No, he's right, I remember the episode.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Because Fenris is a terrible human being.

:hurt:

I'll try to add a LOT more emoticons until I find one that makes you not hate me.

:hurt:

Lots and lots and lots more emoticons.

Thousands maybe.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Because Fenris is a terrible human being.

I know you love subtle, understated emoticons, so I assume this is one you'll want.

:FON:

Everyone? I encourage you to use this to make FON happier.
:FON:



(also? Save this as fast as you can, because Giraffe will kill us all when he sees it)

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I know you love subtle, understated emoticons, so I assume this is one you'll want.

:FON:

Everyone? I encourage you to use this to make FON happier.
:FON:

:FON:

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I know you love subtle, understated emoticons, so I assume this is one you'll want.

:FON:

Everyone? I encourage you to use this to make FON happier.
:FON:



(also? Save this as fast as you can, because Giraffe will kill us all when he sees it)

I love you Fenny!

[Someone]

Festival of Nerfballs?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I love you Fenny!

After all the times FoN :bash: me, it's nice to have someone appreciate my art. I at you

[Someone]

:FON::FON::FON::FON::FON::FON::FON::FON::FON::FON: :FON::FON::FON::FON::FON::FON::FON::FON::FON::FON: :FON::FON::FON::FON::FON::FON::FON::FON::FON::FON: :FON::FON::FON::FON::FON::FON::FON::FON::FON::FON: :FON::FON::FON::FON::FON::FON::FON::FON::FON:

Somebody had to do it... at least once

[Someone]

Somewhere, right now, Giraffe is twitching.

And he doesn't know why...

[Someone]

You people are ill and wrong.

[Someone]

Itz RE=ly hARD too type wHEN yur having a GRand MAL seixuer.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Itz RE=ly hARD too type wHEN yur having a GRand MAL seixuer.

I wonder if there's any way to make them flash out of sync.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I wonder if there's any way to make them flash out of sync.

Not sure, but here's a link for you: http://www.digital-eel.com/blog/images/goo04.gif

[Someone]

Ouch. I am reconsidering the Firefox add on that fetches pics from links. That was fucked up.

Yup, got ourselves a real live troll here--nothing else seems to be working so let's invent a stationary bicycle seat sniffer at the gym, that'll get a bite on the line!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Ouch. I am reconsidering the Firefox add on that fetches pics from links. That was fucked up.

Yup, got ourselves a real live troll here--nothing else seems to be working so let's invent a stationary bicycle seat sniffer at the gym, that'll get a bite on the line!

Maybe she just really stinks?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I've lurked at the Derp for years. It's usually informative, frequently hilarious (especially ATMB), and sometimes just depressing.

Summary:

Eleven year old microwave plugged into newly installed GFCI outlet. Microwave quits working, buy new one which also doesn't work. Troubleshoot, reset GFCI. Hurray, both microwaves now work. But... but... whatever shall I do now? I know; I'll ask the internet's best and brightest to assist me with my dilemma.

End Summary

The Original: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=743480

Jesus H. Christ in a Coupe de Ville. Surely that's supposed to be funny and I'm just missing it.

Hey Nick! Good to see you again. Happy Harry is over at the Karate Market and said to say "hi".

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

After all the times FoN :bash: me, it's nice to have someone appreciate my art. I at you

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! :darthvader:

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I know you love subtle, understated emoticons, so I assume this is one you'll want.

:FON:

Everyone? I encourage you to use this to make FON happier.
:FON:



(also? Save this as fast as you can, because Giraffe will kill us all when he sees it)

What this needs is the return of the Disco smiley to go with it.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Ouch. I am reconsidering the Firefox add on that fetches pics from links. That was fucked up.

Hmm, what was the goatse URL again, it was ...

[Someone]

:FON:

Sorry, just felt like joining in.

[Someone]

In BPC's thread about writing pony porn, Penfeather hits with:

Budget Player Cadet
My girlfriend is my co-author.
Penfeather
The underage one, or the retarded one? Either way, it's not really a proud boast.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...7#post17980587

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! :darthvader:

Because you requested it....

[Someone]

And I see you still haven't added :santagiraffe: either.

[Someone]

This is the best Giraffemasfestikwanzukkah ever!

[Someone]

This proctology one is pretty cool.

:gtfo:

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

This proctology one is pretty cool.

:gtfo:

"You may feel some pressure or a feeling of fullness ..."

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Why does it make me want to twist them into teeny tiny pretzel shapes?

We have people do that for us.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I know you love subtle, understated emoticons, so I assume this is one you'll want.

:FON:

Everyone? I encourage you to use this to make FON happier.
:FON:



(also? Save this as fast as you can, because Giraffe will kill us all when he sees it)

[Someone]

Poor :FON:. We shall miss him greatly.

[Someone]

I didn't even get to see the :FON:

[Someone]

This is the worst Giraffemasfestikwanzukkah ever!

[Someone]

I BLAME GIRAFFE!

[Someone]

How the Grinch-Raffe Stole Christmas.

[Someone]

Hey, where did :gtfo: go?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I BLAME GIRAFFE!

We lost GTFO

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

We lost GTFO

It's a mass purge!

[Someone]

This used to be a fun place. Now it's turning into the Straight Dope.