Durp Snark 62: This thread is shitty too

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Urbanredneck doesn't get boners. He only gets pathetic chubbies.

Cite: WhyNot's post.

I love the strong aroma of burning martyr that comes off WhyNot throughout the rest of that thread. Bear in mind I don't have to think that Urbanredneck is in the right to think that WhyNot is an annoying cunt. "O woe is me I shall surely get banninated for the horrible crime of calling this lowlife what he deserved! Bury me not on the lone prairie, my loyal friends!". Fuxache. Pit him, already, if you've got the ovaries for it; that's what it's for. But "O no, I know what I'm doing is wrong but I've just got to!".

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I'm actually curious about how the mods will handle this one. I guess they have to say something, right? She's always been a good citizen. Hopefully she'll just get a "don't do that" comment.

1 full day and 8-ish hours now and no mod action so far... I realize it was Sunday but I'm surprised at least one of the IMHO mods hasn't turned up by now. Sooner or later they are going to have to say something, otherwise every smacked bottom who ever got mod noted for insults and language in IMHO is going to come out of the woodwork demanding a retraction because "well, you let WhyNot get away with it!"

Originally Posted by Someone

I love the strong aroma of burning martyr that comes off WhyNot throughout the rest of that thread. Bear in mind I don't have to think that Urbanredneck is in the right to think that WhyNot is an annoying cunt. "O woe is me I shall surely get banninated for the horrible crime of calling this lowlife what he deserved! Bury me not on the lone prairie, my loyal friends!".

Gotta agree. The slapdown was awesome but the whole "I'll take my suspendaban now, though I really hope I don't get one. No, no, I'll report myself, no need to overwork the poor dear mods..." false humility bit was very

[Someone]

They really do need to give WhyNot a warning if only to put her in her place.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

1 full day and 8-ish hours now and no mod action so far... I realize it was Sunday but I'm surprised at least one of the IMHO mods hasn't turned up by now. Sooner or later they are going to have to say something, otherwise every smacked bottom who ever got mod noted for insults and language in IMHO is going to come out of the woodwork demanding a retraction because "well, you let WhyNot get away with it!"

Nope--they've revived the old "Stall until the issue is too old to moderate" tactic that they used to do when Twickster fucked up. (In the Tomndebb/Racism ATMB thread).

So in 2, 3 days, a mod will come along, give a mod-note since it'll have been "too long to moderate" and everything will continue as normal.

[Someone]

D'Anconia is having a meltdown in the Rowan County Clerk pit thread. As far as I can tell, he's really upset that people who don't live there are concerned with Rowan County business. This includes the Supreme Court.

[Someone]

Reasons why Contradancer will vote for Trump (bulleted for your entertainment). If you analyze it very carefully, you might pick up a slight hint that she might not care for immigrants.

• I am from California and white people are now in the minority there.
• Illegals have brought back diseases we thought were gone to the state.
• Illegals have overburdened the welfare system and in my own personal experience, kept the children of citizens from getting a good education because teachers have to deal with so many non-English speaking students.
• They come from a different culture where women are not respected, and where they resort to violence to solve problems.
• If their women cheat they kill them and any children they have.
• In Arizona, the areas they lived in were trashed and the Walmart there was trashed.
• They don't feel individually responsible for their surroundings.
• The groups to support them encourage them to have lots of babies so they can take over in numbers.
• I want all of them out. Along with their children.
• I don't want to let the ones that are here stay here.
• I can see Canada from my back deck so I'm familiar with their immigration policy. I don't even qualify because I'm retired.
• They have already infiltrated the upper echelons of our government and now dictate policy by calling us racists and accusing us of being inhumane.
• The fact that I even feel guilty for saying this shows how successful they have been in pushing their agenda.
• I lived in Arizona and hired illegals, did taxes for them, and observed the dumps they made of the homes and stores where they lived.
• My grandaughter was put back when my son moved because she was in a class in Calistoga, CA where there were so many non-English speaking students the teacher never had time for her.
• I felt sorry for them and laughed as ridiculous when my son said his wife had been recruited to a group whose purpose was to raise the birth rate of illegals so they could take over CA. They have done it. Not so funny now.
• The poor towns along the border have nothing left. They are dumps and their economies are gone because they have become home to illegals who engage in crime and actually hate Americans
• I stayed in one overnight and when I went out to eat I was followed by some young Mexicans for some reason. It scared me though. Obviously they were planning to attack me.
• Trump wants to stop the 30+ Billion being sent to Mexico by illegals every year. Stopping that and ending the birthright to citizenship should do it. Oh, and a great, big, high wall.
• Maybe Mexicans were in Arizona and Texas first but they never did anything except maintain the low level of living they had always had. They never contributed anything to the states or to CA. After a hundred years they still lived in hovels when the gold miners came. Just like they do now.

Now that's a rant. I am in awe. I give it 4

[Someone]

Oh, FFS, WhyNot's pulling the "sure I could have pitted UberTardnick, but I had sooper sekrit reasons for posting here so check your PMs" routine now.

Just admit you got so sick of having women and nurses insulted and you lost your temper for a second and/or wanted to post it there because more people read IMHO than the pit and you wanted everyone's adulation, and don't go pulling that Opalcatty bullshit.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

They really do need to give WhyNot a warning if only to put her in her place.

ISWYDT.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

1 full day and 8-ish hours now and no mod action so far... I realize it was Sunday but I'm surprised at least one of the IMHO mods hasn't turned up by now. Sooner or later they are going to have to say something, otherwise every smacked bottom who ever got mod noted for insults and language in IMHO is going to come out of the woodwork demanding a retraction because "well, you let WhyNot get away with it!"

Did someone report the post? The modes there don't necessarily read every single post there (or here) and they may not be aware of it.

Gotta agree. The slapdown was awesome but the whole "I'll take my suspendaban now, though I really hope I don't get one. No, no, I'll report myself, no need to overwork the poor dear mods..." false humility bit was very

That said, totally agree with these.

[Someone]

She got her warning.

Originally Posted by Someone

(Note, I am not an IMHO mod, but the mods for this forum are unavoidably occupied right now, so I'm stepping in to help).

WhyNot, while I appreciate the fact you recognize that your language was over the top and wholly inappropriate for this forum, it is for exactly these types of situations that the Pit was designed. The Pit is to prevent derailing a thread with personal frustration and bringing that tone to a more mild forum.

I don't doubt your frustration, but next time bring it to the pit, or avoid the language altogether.

Warning Issued

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I don't disagree with your post and I'm not siding with UR, but if you knew it was wrong why not just start a pit thread and link to it here. Just being passionate is no excuse for abandoning board mores and there exists a perfectly good and board legal way to accomplish the same thing.

It's not wrong to violate board mores, if one is straightforward about it and accepting of consequences. It's just a little act of civil disobedience.

(I agree she should have left it absolutely alone after "worth it.")

[Someone]

Less is always more. I've made over 16 thousand posts and used maybe half that many words.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Less is always more. I've made over 16 thousand posts and used maybe half that many words.

I bet you could use even fewer, if you really try.

[Someone]

Avocado Pubarian pines for the good old days:

Originally Posted by Someone

I miss Fidonet. I miss Usenet. And I am weary-sad to have my vague perceptions confirmed that forums, for all their faults, are genuinely headed to the same museum shelf. I guess we're too old, too ugly and not deferential enough to hipsters.

A surprisingly accurate self-description.

[Someone]

The BigTard Lecture Series continues: ECG, you're modding wrong. Here's how 'We' should do it.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Justtrollingjake wants to know why it's considered "wrong" to steal.

That would be a perfectly acceptable post in Great Debates if the intent was to stir discussion on morality, altruism, the meaning of community, etc. In IMHO it's just another dumb post.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

The BigTard Lecture Series continues: ECG, you're modding wrong. Here's how 'We' should do it.

I can't help it, this cracked me up.

Originally Posted by Someone

For example, GQ requires you to be asking a question, which may not be the type response you want to give.

Right. Because it doesn't stand for Gentleman's Quarterly.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

They really do need to give WhyNot a warning if only to put her in her place.

It took me way too long to get this. Well done.

[Someone]

What the heck is this thing? Unauthorized SDMB Facebook page, kept updated with links to various threads--no commentary on them or anything, but somebody's taking the time to make the links and put pics with them and the like. Weird.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

It's not wrong to violate board mores, if one is straightforward about it and accepting of consequences. It's just a little act of civil disobedience.

(I agree she should have left it absolutely alone after "worth it.")

Well, yes. She's already shown her contempt of the Durp's policies by saying she knows the penalty for what she's doing and she's going ahead with it anyway, and her language would have been out of line even in the Pit, so adding in a little "neener neener neener" into the bargain is kinda crass. One or two people, maybe me and maybe not, who've picked up the same punishment for a fucking sight less might feel a little annoyed at this point.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

What the heck is this thing? Unauthorized SDMB Facebook page, kept updated with links to various threads--no commentary on them or anything, but somebody's taking the time to make the links and put pics with them and the like. Weird.

Hey, it's got 17 likes. So it's got that going for it. But yeah that's a little weird. What crazy person is taking time out of their day to update that thing.


Forgot the snark.


Is Masta dick handlers' story true? I don't know I don't read his crap.

So My Old Girlfriend Got Murdered...
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...4#post18608764

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

What the heck is this thing? Unauthorized SDMB Facebook page, kept updated with links to various threads--no commentary on them or anything, but somebody's taking the time to make the links and put pics with them and the like. Weird.

[derp] What's a facebook? [/derp]

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Is Masta dick handlers' story true? I don't know I don't read his crap.

So My Old Girlfriend Got Murdered...
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...4#post18608764

He's gotta be some kind of high school English teacher. All his posts look like (admittedly better than average) 10th grade creative writing assignments. Like he's writing examples for his students.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Is Masta dick handlers' story true? I don't know I don't read his crap.

So My Old Girlfriend Got Murdered...
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...4#post18608764

I think it's probably true. The most ridiculous thing about the story is how unbelievable he tried to make it sound. He took a moderately interesting story (someone he dated once died in unfortunate circumstances), and then oversold it like it was the greatest drama of the century. Honestly, it just comes off as forced and faked. Maybe he really does feel as confused and passionate about this as he is trying to sound in his post, but I don't buy it. I think he's just a "story teller" and has to play up everything that way. If he dropped a pencil on the ground at work and then bent over and picked it up, he'd try to turn that into the story of the century.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Hey, it's got 17 likes. So it's got that going for it. But yeah that's a little weird. What crazy person is taking time out of their day to update that thing.


Forgot the snark.


Is Masta dick handlers' story true? I don't know I don't read his crap.

So My Old Girlfriend Got Murdered...
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...4#post18608764

If he's telling the truth, he dated Elizabeth Jones, murdered by Timothy Gribble. Thought it was a big enough case (I sort of remember 12 year old me hearing about it at the time) that you'd think Wang Chung would have heard of it, but maybe not.

And she wasn't murdered by a ne'er-do-well boyfriend (his "I told her dating them would come to no good"), she was murdered by a roofer who entered her house under false pretense.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

[derp] What's a facebook? [/derp]

[]It is but instead of putting your face in your hand, you put it in a book. Sheesh, sheeple, get with the program [/]

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

If he's telling the truth, he dated Elizabeth Jones, murdered by Timothy Gribble. Thought it was a big enough case (I sort of remember 12 year old me hearing about it at the time) that you'd think Wang Chung would have heard of it, but maybe not.

Maybe. He said something about an unusual spelling of a first name, and that has to be one of the most vanilla names I have ever seen. He also confessed to two murders, although they may have decided not to pursue a second death penalty.

I don't quite know why he is so secretive about her identity. Victim died in 1986, killer executed in 2000, near Galveston, TX. Google narrows it down to 40 fairly quickly. Not that it interests me to pursue it any further.

[Someone]

Yeah, but I figured the name thing was just one of his retarded embellishments he does while putting forth his junior-high philosophy as if it's something grand.

He and April R. should really get together and do some writing. (and Gribble was picked up for murder of someone else, but never tried for it)

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I think he's just a "story teller" and has to play up everything that way. If he dropped a pencil on the ground at work and then bent over and picked it up, he'd try to turn that into the story of the century.

My heart is both heavy as lead and light as strawberry mousse today, as I came entirely too close to mourning the loss of Dixie (you'll understand why I call her that soon enough) who, despite my best efforts, rolled into a gaping crevasse as I watched, helpless to prevent the tragedy.

I first met Dixie a week ago at the supply closet. She was a 10" long drink of water decked out like a summer buttercup in her best yellow coat stamped with the name of the designer, just like those Benetton shirts everyone wore back in the halcyon days of the '80s. Only instead of Benetton, it was Dixon Ticonderoga.

"Well, gorgeous," I drawled, "That's an awful mouthful for a good southern boy like me, so how 'bout I just call you Dixie? So much more friendly."

Miss Dixie's face, just above her sassy necklace of embossed metal, blushed a charming shade of pink and informed me that that was just perfectly fine, good sir.

After that it was a whirlwind courtship as I whisked Dixie off to my little corner of gainful employment paradise. So afraid was I that the deflowerment would hurt her that I inserted her ever so delicately into my manual sharpener, turning ever so gently, peeling off layers of buttercup yellow and fine ecologically-sourced cedar until she gave birth to a keen edge of refined graphite.

After that, we were inseperable. Accounts receivable: vanquished at a stroke. Payroll, voila. Daily crossword.... well, that's forbidden, but Miss Dixie kept my secrets.

Then tragedy. I was attempting to coax a particularly stubborn fly out the window, because as y'all know, I'm a gentle soul who wouldn't hurt a... well, nevermind. I'd almost shooed the little devil out when...

Sorry, need a minute here to recover from the flashback of the frisson of fear...

"Help, Wang!" I heard her scream as she tumbled towards the chasm between my desk and the wall. Thud she went as she landed half behind the baseboard heater! Thud went my heart as my beloved threatened to be lost forever!

Utmost delicacy was required here: any hamfisted rescue effort would cause Miss Dixie to slip to a climate-controlled end. I sacrificed a noble paperclip to the cause, manipulating his wiry arm oh so carefully underneath her lanky form until with a leap like a salmon returning to its spawning grounds in the icy north, she sprang free!

Oh, Dixie, m'love, I'll never be so uncouth towards you again!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Maybe. He said something about an unusual spelling of a first name, and that has to be one of the most vanilla names I have ever seen. He also confessed to two murders, although they may have decided not to pursue a second death penalty.

I don't quite know why he is so secretive about her identity. Victim died in 1986, killer executed in 2000, near Galveston, TX. Google narrows it down to 40 fairly quickly. Not that it interests me to pursue it any further.

According to this link on Gribble, it mentions a second victim named Donna Weis. My guess is that's the ex-girlfriend.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Maybe. He said something about an unusual spelling of a first name, and that has to be one of the most vanilla names I have ever seen. He also confessed to two murders, although they may have decided not to pursue a second death penalty.

I don't quite know why he is so secretive about her identity. Victim died in 1986, killer executed in 2000, near Galveston, TX. Google narrows it down to 40 fairly quickly. Not that it interests me to pursue it any further.

Seems more likely that he dated Donna Weis, given the details of the story (remains missing for over a year; he knew her in college (Weis was 23, Jones 36)). Weis at least seems a little unusual, at least compared to Weiss.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Seems more likely that he dated Donna Weis, given the details of the story (remains missing for over a year; he knew her in college (Weis was 23, Jones 36)). Weis at least seems a little unusual, at least compared to Weiss.

Ah, I didn't read his story thoroughly, way too verbose for that, so thought he'd said her body was found.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Oh, Dixie, m'love, I'll never be so uncouth towards you again!

This was a thing of beauty. Words cannot express and numbers cannot count the amount of laughter I let loose while reading your prose.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Ah, I didn't read his story thoroughly, way too verbose for that, so thought he'd said her body was found.

He said her remains were missing for "nearly a year" until they picked the guy up for another murder. Weis was murdered in June of '86, Jones in September of '87. So it was a bit more than a year, but close enough. There isn't really much information on Weis, since he Gribble was never actually tried for her murder. I suppose it's possible that Weis and Gribble dated. Who knows.

[Someone]

I just figure Master Waste Words was cruising some murder porn site, saw the story about this guy killing those chicks and made up a back story that includes him.

[Someone]

That is entirely possible.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

My heart is both heavy as lead and light as strawberry mousse today, as I came entirely too close to mourning the loss of Dixie (you'll understand why I call her that soon enough) who, despite my best efforts, rolled into a gaping crevasse as I watched, helpless to prevent the tragedy.

I first met Dixie a week ago at the supply closet. She was a 10" long drink of water decked out like a summer buttercup in her best yellow coat stamped with the name of the designer, just like those Benetton shirts everyone wore back in the halcyon days of the '80s. Only instead of Benetton, it was Dixon Ticonderoga.

I had Dixie's cousin clamped between my teeth when I read that. I spit her across my desk, the poor dear.

I think I'll call her Connie.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I think it's probably true. The most ridiculous thing about the story is how unbelievable he tried to make it sound. He took a moderately interesting story (someone he dated once died in unfortunate circumstances), and then oversold it like it was the greatest drama of the century. Honestly, it just comes off as forced and faked. Maybe he really does feel as confused and passionate about this as he is trying to sound in his post, but I don't buy it. I think he's just a "story teller" and has to play up everything that way. If he dropped a pencil on the ground at work and then bent over and picked it up, he'd try to turn that into the story of the century.

I think the worst part of this particular story though is that it sort of, I don't know, "cheapens" what actually happened. Like he's more interested in telling a story, rather what happened to the victim. If he were like, "holy shit, I just found out an ex-girlfriend of mine was murdered", I don't think anyone would be skeptical. Knowing someone who was murdered sadly isn't all that far out there. Hell, I have a cousin who was killed by her boyfriend who then committed suicide by cop. (Note: I probably only met her less than a handful of times in my life, so there's no need for condolences. I wouldn't even have called her an acquaintance.)

Making up all these "purply prose" makes it more about him than it does the ex. At least, that's how I see it.

[Someone]

You guys sure use a lot of words to say "his writing sucks and is annoying." Just saying.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

You guys sure use a lot of words to say "his writing sucks and is annoying." Just saying.

Post #923. Short. To the point. Admittedly I didn't use the actual words "sucks" or "annoying", but I thought that sentiment came through, anyway.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I just figure Master Waste Words was cruising some murder porn site, saw the story about this guy killing those chicks and made up a back story that includes him.

That was my thought as well. I doubt he was involved in any way.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

He's gotta be some kind of high school English teacher. All his posts look like (admittedly better than average) 10th grade creative writing assignments. Like he's writing examples for his students.

Yeah, he peppers his writing with folksy phonetic spellings, like wearin', datin', havin' a life...

Not while he's quoting someone, but in is prose. I thought that shit went out with Mark Twain.

It shore as shootin' ain't bein' clever!

[Someone]

How come I'm not surprised that FairyChatMom drives exactly the speed limit?

Originally Posted by Someone

People generally don't follow me because I drive the speed limit. Yeah, HOW DARE I?!?!? They're always in a hurry to get around me. It was even worse when I drove my Scion - it's like the guys in their big-ass pickup trucks had to pass me lest their dicks shrivel...

Weak snark, I know.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

You guys sure use a lot of words to say "his writing sucks and is annoying." Just saying.

TLDR

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

How come I'm not surprised that FairyChatMom drives exactly the speed limit?

Weak snark, I know.

Well, if this Dope thread about the inherent inaccuracy of speedometers is to be believed, she's probably driving well under the speed limit ... unless she uses a GPS. She does post here so maybe she'll respond.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

How come I'm not surprised that FairyChatMom drives exactly the speed limit?



Weak snark, I know.

Better snark from that thread in post #5. Doorhinge takes seriously a blatantly obvious joke.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Aaaaaannnnndd....the Shaynabot is back.

Even when I agree with her (I think many of her Hillary posts are right--granted, she's arguing against Elvis, so low-hanging fruit there*- and I'm in firm agreement with her on the "Left is Anti-Semitic" pit thread), her constant posts of link after link after link just makes her sound like a crazier version of BrainGlutton.



*Hillary could be found, bloody knife in hand, screaming a confession as she stands over the bodies of dead nuns who working with kittens (also butchered) to bring joy to crack babies (also butchered) and he'd defend her. He's like StarvingArtist on one of his crusades...but without SA pedophilia. That said, Elvis is still somewhat dumber and more unmovable.

Shayna is a he?

[Someone]

No--she's a she. That "He" in my post referred to Elvis.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

How come I'm not surprised that FairyChatMom drives exactly the speed limit?

Weak snark, I know.

I guess I have to give her credit for sticking to her principals, whatever they are. The first time I took my bike out on the highway I ended up going the speed limit because I learned the bike wasn't set up properly and it was unstable at the prevailing speed of traffic. That shit is scary! Tooling along at 60 when the prevailing speed is 75 means that car after car is passing you at 15 MPH, and some of them are moving out from behind you or into the space in front of you at an uncomfortably close distance. Never again. There could be enough state troopers out to make a sequel song to Convoy and I'd slow down to one or two mph below the prevailing speed, max.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Better snark from that thread in post #5. Doorhinge takes seriously a blatantly obvious joke.

doorhinge is one of the worst dopers on the SDMB. And not in a good way. Just a total dick.