Durp: '65 Snark Affair

[Someone]

OAS for OAPs. Go.

[Someone]

"Durp 65 - Old Age Snark". This is a terrible title, even by my standards. Changing it now.

[Someone]

Yes, I saw BigT "attack" me. I was all set to rebutt the post but I said I wasn't going to derail the thread any further and I plan to stick to that. Besides, I don't know what the fuck he's on about.
"Only one person is using this thread as a punching bag for someone you don't like, and it's you."
So, everyone can bash the K sisters, but I call bobkitty (and a few others) out on it and I'm the bad guy?
Whatevs, not worth my time. Or maybe he thinks I have some kind of bad blood with her. I dunno, I'm not worried. They can keep bickering (or agreeing, I'm not sure). I've just never understood the mentality of 'hey look at that famous person, she's so fat isn't she'. Also, I hate the 'What's a [name]'. As in "Did you hear about Kim Kardashian?"/"What's a Kardashian?".
Haha, you pretended like a Kardashian is a thing, you went out of your way to pretend like you're so out of touch with pop culture (and grammar) that you don't even know that the person I'm talking about is actually a person. You're so funny and clever.
Even more so, in a board about fighting ignorance, is it too much to ask that you google it? That would have answered who Lamar is married to in a matter of seconds. I can't tell you how many hundreds of times I've looked things up that people on the Dope were talking about because I didn't know who/what they were. Don't even have to type. Highlight, right click, click on "search google for '_____'" and look at the results. But they'd rather show how cool they are but attempting to show us they're (usually fake) ignorance of the subject. Like the 'cool' kids in school that were proud of their low grades.

Personally, I like to have at least some grasp of what's going on in pop culture. Honestly, all you have to do is spend a few minutes checking out TMZ once a day to look at the headlines. That's it. You can go check out your BBC news and read some Encyclopedia entries and watch some Star Trek reruns, but two minutes of cruising TMZ (or some other similar site, I hear people . com is good) will allow you to converse with the 98% of the world that doesn't watch Dr Who or has suddenly decided they need help writing lyrics to a filk song (even though they know all about filk, they need help with the lyrics). Serisosly, I found 10 instances of the word 'filk' in the boards history (via Google), but check out the last Big Bang Theory thread, suddenly everyone's an expert.

Okay, got that out of my system.

[Someone]

Right. I'll make a note of it.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Right. I'll make a note of it.

Send me a copy to keep on file. I like a paper trail.

[Someone]

Where all the white women at?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Where all the white women at?

At Lamar's party....


What, too soon?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

At Lamar's party....


What, too soon?

If you had called it a wake, yes.

[Someone]

Well, considering the rumors about who Khloe Kardashian's real father is, I'm not sure she's exactly all the way white.

Derper: "What's an OJ Simpson?"

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Derper: "What's an OJ Simpson?"

What are you daft? It's Homer trying to make OJ but since he's not so SMRT he's using sausage instead of oranges.

[Homer] Mmmmmmm, sausage juice, uuuughggghghghghg [/Homer}

[Someone]

Jesse H Christ!

Apparently, although the durpers are the smartest people on tha intartubes they are also the most unhappiest about their lives.

It's got a two-fer as it's started and frequently replied to by CCitizen, who hates his life and himself, but also JustinC, who brags about how he was the starriest child star there ever was and even had 5 year olds asking for his autograph, when he was 5, and how his life was so awesome being the child star that he was that now-adays that he has to live as a normal piece of shit like the rest of us is so agonizing he can barely continue and that none of us "regular, normal people" could never understand his plight.


http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...4#post18780064

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Jesse H Christ!

Apparently, although the durpers are the smartest people on tha intartubes they are also the most unhappiest about their lives.

It's got a two-fer as it's started and frequently replied to by CCitizen, who hates his life and himself, but also JustinC, who brags about how he was the starriest child star there ever was and even had 5 year olds asking for his autograph, when he was 5, and how his life was so awesome being the child star that he was that now-adays that he has to live as a normal piece of shit like the rest of us is so agonizing he can barely continue and that none of us "regular, normal people" could never understand his plight.


http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...4#post18780064

Man, there are a lot of Debby Downers over there.

[Someone]

Woe is me that I am too finely cut a gem to enjoy this fallen world; would that I were shaped of baser clay, that I too might draw amusement from the crass joys that the common herd wallow in, but I fear that I am doomed to a deep and superior melancholy, for mine is a high and lonely destiny. And pass the Doritos, Game of Thrones is on.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Honestly, all you have to do is spend a few minutes checking out TMZ once a day to look at the headlines.

What is a "TMZ"?

[Someone]

Transponder Mandatory Zone?
The Malton Zookeepers?
Thalamic Microexcitable Zones?

[Someone]

Take More Zoloft.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Take More Zoloft.

We have a winner!

[Someone]

Most Overrated Sitcoms

ralph is upset because Cheers hit a little too close to home.

Cheers. a bunch of mentally retarded people hang around a bar, pick their noses, and tell lousy jokes.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Woe is me that I am too finely cut a gem to enjoy this fallen world; would that I were shaped of baser clay, that I too might draw amusement from the crass joys that the common herd wallow in, but I fear that I am doomed to a deep and superior melancholy, for mine is a high and lonely destiny. And pass the Doritos, Game of Thrones is on.

That's beautiful man. <wipes tear from eye>

[Someone]

The BigTard Lecture Series continues: On proper police procedures

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Jesse H Christ!

Apparently, although the durpers are the smartest people on tha intartubes they are also the most unhappiest about their lives.

It's got a two-fer as it's started and frequently replied to by CCitizen, who hates his life and himself, but also JustinC, who brags about how he was the starriest child star there ever was and even had 5 year olds asking for his autograph, when he was 5, and how his life was so awesome being the child star that he was that now-adays that he has to live as a normal piece of shit like the rest of us is so agonizing he can barely continue and that none of us "regular, normal people" could never understand his plight.


http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...4#post18780064

Are we supposed to ask him who he is? It seems like he is kind of hoping so...

[Someone]

Thread in Cafe Society about little things in movies that briefly break your immersion and remind you that you're watching a movie. They don't "ruin" the movie for you ... they don't make you angry ... they're just little things you notice. Fairly harmless thread. Seen others like it before.

Who wants to guess how many posts it takes before some sniveling dipshit like, oh say RealityChuck waddles in with "You DO know that movies are FAKE, right?! I mean, you KNOW that, right?! If these things draw you out of the movie well then maybe you should STOP going to MOVIES!"

Post #3

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

That's beautiful man. <wipes tear from eye>

We need a ::cutting:: smiley.

[Someone]

Have we done northporlarbear yet? Even his name is a fail, and every post seems to be whining about his mental health, with apparently good reason. One to watch.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

We need a ::cutting:: smiley.

Title it: 3) Hi, Opal!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Have we done northporlarbear yet? Even his name is a fail, and every post seems to be whining about his mental health, with apparently good reason. One to watch.

I was just about to make a snarky comment in it's "Do Americans feel anything about big American brands like 711 or Columbia Picture owned by Japan?" thread, but thought better of it. Then I start thinking about snarking on it, here, update this page to catch up before posting, and, well, there you are. You beat me to the latest disfunctional noob.

ETA: Holy shit! Just checked it's profile. 4 days, 141 posts. 33.25 posts per day. Even Dio never got up that high at his most maniacal. Or at least never for FOUR days straight! Truly we have a new nutter, but sadly, at this rate, one that will shine brightly for a brief time, then snuff out like a candle caught in between Donald Trump and a microphone.

[Someone]

Or this

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...ply&p=18781413

Originally Posted by Someone

Personally, I don't despise Hitler but rather understand him. I've had a chance to do some reading on him, German society at the time, Jewish prominence in Europe back then. Also, I did some reading on the Jewish camps & the expelling policy. All was understandable to me. Obviously, in the reality, things didn't go 100% according to the plans, & there were many unforeseen atrocities in the camps. Still, Hitler & Germany at the time were understandable to me. As someone who personally don't have anything against them, I would rather side with Hitler than Jews aside from the unforeseen war crimes due to the lack of complete control over the camps.

[Someone]

Holeee shiiiiit.

[Someone]

That Jewish influence thread is gonna be a mine of priceless posts. Here's ccitizen

I posted something nice but suspect it will be drowned out.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Or this

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...ply&p=18781413

He was warned for trolling, knew his time was nearly over and then banned for posting links to St0rmfrnt.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

He was warned for trolling, knew his time was nearly over and then banned for posting links to St0rmfrnt.

This is why we can't have nice things

[Someone]

Re: northporlarbear

Ohhh, we've really got a live one (I just can't decide between 'troll', and 'idiot') here!

We have, in latest to earliest order, and just looking at the threads it started, "In First Place!!!!" is the thread I previously mentioned, (we'll start
at #1, and continue from there:

1) Do Americans feel anything about big American brands like 711 or Columbia Picture owned by Japan?, where it freaks out about the Japs taking over America... Seriously, who has been concerned about that since the Reagan administration? It didn't even get traction for Dukakis in '88. It ain't working now, dood.

2) Next, we have: People who claim that wanting to date a beauty is shallow, which seems to be nothing more than "Hot Wimmins won't fuck me", which seems to be just a complaint that it can't get good tail.... Imagine my surprise.

3) now I go to the third, and ....

Aww, shit. I didn't even get this post done, and it's banninated.

IRSlow...

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

This is why we can't have nice things

I'm giggling way too much over this. It's the pure unalloyed extra virgin oil of snark.

[Someone]

He would have been entertaining for sure in the way of how much outrage and drama that post would have instigated....but, really, when the trolling is that obvious, they have to go.


On one hand, people complain and don't like it when we have to ban someone who would have provided quality entertainment for popcorn consuming for a little while. Someone everyone can bat around for a little while and poke with a stick and who creates discussion based on all of the outrageous things they say...

..but then if we don't do that, and let those people stick around for a little bit longer, we get people complaining and not liking it when we aren't banning obvious trolls. We get criticism for allowing people to troll on there and doing nothing.

So either way, the hardcore mod haters will find a way to make it looking like the mods suck, somehow. : p


But hey, I'm human too. Even I admit it would have been nice to keep him around long enough to at least spawn a Pit thread so his ass could be handed to him verbally, but when they go THAT extreme, in a post, they kind of force our hand to ban him ASAP.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

"Durp 65 - Old Age Snark". This is a terrible title, even by my standards. Changing it now.

It should have been Thunder Snark '65

[Someone]

Boo hoo, IT.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Boo hoo, IT.

I wasn't complaining about it. I don't really mind or care criticism.

[Someone]

Riiiight.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

But hey, I'm human too. Even I admit it would have been nice to keep him around long enough to at least spawn a Pit thread so his ass could be handed to him verbally, but when they go THAT extreme, in a post, they kind of force our hand to ban him ASAP.

But people like that don't recognize when their asses have been handed to them. He's probably bragging somewhere, about how the mods at the Dope couldn't handle the truth. He thinks he's winning.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

He would have been entertaining for sure in the way of how much outrage and drama that post would have instigated....but, really, when the trolling is that obvious, they have to go.


On one hand, people complain and don't like it when we have to ban someone who would have provided quality entertainment for popcorn consuming for a little while. Someone everyone can bat around for a little while and poke with a stick and who creates discussion based on all of the outrageous things they say...

..but then if we don't do that, and let those people stick around for a little bit longer, we get people complaining and not liking it when we aren't banning obvious trolls. We get criticism for allowing people to troll on there and doing nothing.

So either way, the hardcore mod haters will find a way to make it looking like the mods suck, somehow. : p


But hey, I'm human too. Even I admit it would have been nice to keep him around long enough to at least spawn a Pit thread so his ass could be handed to him verbally, but when they go THAT extreme, in a post, they kind of force our hand to ban him ASAP.

You're ruining the magic.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

...extra virgin oil of snark.

Dude. Only the Italians can get away with that.

[Someone]

BigT pulls his whole, "waaah, you're picking on him because he's mentally ill! You have to be super-special nice!!!" schtick again.

God, I hate him.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

It should have been Thunder Snark '65

I never try anything, I just snark it. Wanna snark me?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

...it would have been nice to keep him around long enough to at least spawn a Pit thread so his ass could be handed to him verbally...

I doubt it. There's not really anything insightful or fun to do with something as simple and tired as that.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Boo hoo, IT.

Whatever, he's right, the knee-jerk ModHaters complain no matter what. A mild side comment by IT then attracts you to knee jerk.

I'd rather have IT than the pious Church Mice that are JC and Tommie Boy.

Originally Posted by Someone

I doubt it. There's not really anything insightful or fun to do with something as simple and tired as that.

Yeah but ... Durp.

Originally Posted by Someone

Dude. Only the Italians can get away with that.

Spanish, gotta cut in the Spanish.

[Someone]

Wasn't expecting that.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

BigT pulls his whole, "waaah, you're picking on him because he's mentally ill! You have to be super-special nice!!!" schtick again.

God, I hate him.

He likes to make his proclamations as if he's speaking from a lofty mount insead of from the depths of his mother's basement.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

He likes to make his proclamations as if he's speaking from a lofty mount insead of from the depths of his mother's basement.

Why can't it be both? Maybe the house is atop a mountain.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Whatever, he's right, the knee-jerk ModHaters complain no matter what. A mild side comment by IT then attracts you to knee jerk.

I'd rather have IT than the pious Church Mice that are JC and Tommie Boy.

...<quoted post omitted>...

Yeah but ... Durp.

Ya want some real mod Durp, how about Irishman? He wants to be a Mod so bad he can taste it. He's continually posting long rambling posts in every even slightly controversial ATMB thread, what he sees as 'Mod-like' wisdom. But anyone with a brain sees as 'this guy wants some jackboots and a banhammer.' They should make him a mod, just to give us some good Lulz, here.

I've wanted to snark him here, forever, but he never obliges with a post that really encapsulates it in one post, without reference to the totality of his ATMB posts. Hey, Idle Thoughts! Are you guys getting as many applications for mod-hood from him as I'm suspecting?

[Someone]

GunsNPot would like to remind everybody that he's a "big crazy-looking biker type".