140: These Durps are made for Snarkin'. And that's just what they'll do. One of these days these Durps are gonna Snark all over you.

[Someone]

I wouldn't want to deal with him either if I were the sellers, but that is one strange looking outlet. (Why the hell didn't he just ask the sellers?)

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

(Why the hell didn't he just ask the sellers?)

And would it have been threadshitting to ask him that?

Probably

[Someone]

That is a weird one. It almost looks like a central vac inlet, but not quite. Google Image and TinEye searched over 42 billion images with no match. I'm stumped.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

That is a weird one. It almost looks like a central vac inlet, but not quite. Google Image and TinEye searched over 42 billion images with no match. I'm stumped.

The question was answered in the thread—it's a piezo siren. Check out the second and third photos in this Walmart listing.

Since BD didn't buy the house, we'll never know what (if anything) would have triggered that siren. I'm guessing either a home security system or a basement flood detector.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Which one of you little bastards is Enjoy_Slurm?

I believe that's another Drunky Smurf sock.

[Someone]

Someone stole lissner's debit card numbers and used Uber to make a test charge. He responds by blasting Uber on Twitter.

[Someone]

So he never uses Uber but assumes they are charging him for not opting out of something somehow.

Gee, I've never used Uber either. I better go check my bank accounts to how much I am being charged for the universal opt-in charge for never using Uber.

[Someone]

So let's see: either A) his debit card info was stolen or B) Uber is charging every person in the United States who has a bank account a "not a user" fee that no one knew about unless they did... something to opt out of this thing no one knew about, and which hasn't happened to anyone but him.

Leave it to lissener to cut his throat with Occam's razor.

[Someone]

lissener retrosnark: pays a cleanout company to clear 3 years' worth of garbage (actual garbage, not just stuff) out of his apartment, is beyond pissed that they didn't sort through it to find random nouns that were oh so important to him.

[Someone]

I got my only (?) Derp warning for blasting lissener in CS, essentially telling him to fuck off. I just snapped when he kept arguing that not liking Showgirls was due to lack of education about the Beaux Arts and also an indication of low intelligence.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

lissener retrosnark: pays a cleanout company to clear 3 years' worth of garbage (actual garbage, not just stuff) out of his apartment, is beyond pissed that they didn't sort through it to find random nouns that were oh so important to him.

I think the evidence pointed to the cleaning company in fact genuinely ripping him off; from his descriptions of where the items of real value were kept, which seem beliveable.

[Someone]

Yeah, but it sounds like lissener is a hoarder -- hoarders will take something that's a complete piece of trash, and see it as gold.
Watch "Hoarders" sometimes, it'll open your eyes. Those hats, knicknacks, etc -- they were probably covered in dust, full of holes, chipped, whatever.

[Someone]

octopus plays the "both sides do it" card about the uprising in DC.

Reminds me of the ‘peaceful’ protests of the summer but without the arson, looting, and violent assaults. I doubt this will go for 1/10th the time of Chaz/Chop or any of that other nonsense.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Yeah, but it sounds like lissener is a hoarder -- hoarders will take something that's a complete piece of trash, and see it as gold.
Watch "Hoarders" sometimes, it'll open your eyes. Those hats, knicknacks, etc -- they were probably covered in dust, full of holes, chipped, whatever.

I agree. My oldest friend's father was a hoarder. He didn't have anything of value amongst the shit.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

So let's see: either A) his debit card info was stolen or B) Uber is charging every person in the United States who has a bank account a "not a user" fee that no one knew about unless they did... something to opt out of this thing no one knew about, and which hasn't happened to anyone but him.

Leave it to lissener to cut his throat with Occam's razor.

While it turns out the situation wasn't a random charge (a restaurant used his credit card to order themselves on UberEats), it was still a compromise and I would still get my card replaced. But, the thread has moved on somewhat to Riemann being conspiratorial. Long ago I knew him as a good poster on science and in particular biology as being a working scientist with a PhD, but he's been slowly turning into someone like Velocity and CarnalK on social justice topics and in tedious arguments.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

octopus plays the "both sides do it" card about the uprising in DC.

If enough people flag a post, it gets disappeared.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Yeah, but it sounds like lissener is a hoarder -- hoarders will take something that's a complete piece of trash, and see it as gold.
Watch "Hoarders" sometimes, it'll open your eyes. Those hats, knicknacks, etc -- they were probably covered in dust, full of holes, chipped, whatever.

Oh yeah. I've read that post before, and it's the same story you see in every episode of Hoarders. The hoarder says they want the trash hauled away and the good stuff kept, but when pressed to identify the "good stuff," they point to pretty much everything.

It also strikes me as childishly naive that he simply accepted the cleanup company's promise to "sort" his piles of crap without being more specific about how he expected them to do that. It probably all looked like stinking, roach-infested garbage to them.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

If enough people flag a post, it gets disappeared.

I flagged it for trolling. Hoping for a banning.

[Someone]

As long as he doesn't slither on over here.

On the upside, the mod actions and ensuing uproar in ATMB from the usual suspects will be a snark goldmine.

[Someone]

I AM a hoarder. I'm working on it. In fact, as soon as I finish this post I have to log in to a ZOOM hoarding therapy group. IMO, if you do not talk to a cleaning company in agonizing detail, then you should expect that they will throw out stuff you want to keep. He really has nobody to blame but himself. The list of people I trust to help clean is small, and no stranger is on it.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

My oldest friend's father was a hoarder. He didn't have anything of value amongst the shit.

Are you kidding? There's a left handed monkey wrench, a whole box of used golf balls, half a wood stove, and what's this? A piston out of a '58 Olds! The high compression version too. You can't get those anymore you know.

[Someone]

The thread on the Capital siege is providing some good snark. Octopus is doing his usual trolling, asahi wants to enact Reconstruction II and declare all the protestors non-citizens -- it's got it all!

(IIRC, asahi once expressed a wish that something really bad would happen in order to destroy Trump, or something of that nature. Or maybe I'm thinking of something else. I'm horrid with names. Seriously. I remember incidents, but I can never remember who caused it, goddammit)

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

lissener retrosnark: pays a cleanout company to clear 3 years' worth of garbage (actual garbage, not just stuff) out of his apartment, is beyond pissed that they didn't sort through it to find random nouns that were oh so important to him.

That Hermès scarf he mentioned in his OP is just fugly



But maybe he can wear it with his Birkenstocks and “leopard print Stetson hat“.

https://poshmark.com/listing/Stetson...e9fed305cc576c

The next time he mentions how much grander his movie tastes are compared to us hoi pelloi I’m going to tell him that I hope his taste in cinema is better than his fashion sense.

[Someone]

BUT IT'S WORTH $600 ON EBAY! AND THE LEOPARD HAT IS WORTH AT LEAST 3 FAKE GOLD CHAINS AND A FAKE FUR COAT FROM AN 1980'S PIMP! AND THE BIRKS WOULD FETCH SERIOUS BANK FROM A MYCOLOGIST!!!

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

(IIRC, asahi once expressed a wish that something really bad would happen in order to destroy Trump, or something of that nature. Or maybe I'm thinking of something else. I'm horrid with names. Seriously. I remember incidents, but I can never remember who caused it, goddammit)

asahi is a legit nutbar, and genuinely thinks Trump and his minions have been planning some kind of orange-tinted hamberder-hall putsch for the last five years in intimate detail. I put the dude on ignore ages ago.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

BUT IT'S WORTH $600 ON EBAY! AND THE LEOPARD HAT IS WORTH AT LEAST 3 FAKE GOLD CHAINS AND A FAKE FUR COAT FROM AN 1980'S PIMP! AND THE BIRKS WOULD FETCH SERIOUS BANK FROM A MYCOLOGIST!!!

Some of the heaps of stuff I have actually does have value. A few months ago, I sold a Magic card that I bought twenty years or so ago. At the time, it came in a pack of ten cards for $2. I sold it for $500. I'm genuinely working on selling most of the valuable items.

Again, I wouldn't expect the average person to know what has resale value and what doesn't. I certainly wouldn't expect them to know what otherwise worthless items have strong sentimental value. If you want to clean my apartment, you must be on my list of trustables. To quote Dale Gribble "It's a short list. I'm not even on it!"

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Are you kidding? There's a left handed monkey wrench, a whole box of used golf balls, half a wood stove, and what's this? A piston out of a '58 Olds! The high compression version too. You can't get those anymore you know.

I wish that this was an exaggeration. Thirty year old utility bills, piles of old phone books at least one of which was in Farsi, burned out light bulbs, a pile of old newspapers that were kept on a balcony that was a dried up pile of mush after they had been rained on...

[Someone]

I will snark on myself for engaging with Octopus. I should know better. In my defense I'm stuck in my place because his fellow shitheads have overrun my city and the Mayor had to order a curfew. Fuck.

I don't know how to link to a post in discourse but it's toward the end of his pit thread.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I will snark on myself for engaging with Octopus. I should know better. In my defense I'm stuck in my place because his fellow shitheads have overrun my city and the Mayor had to order a curfew. Fuck.

I don't know how to link to a post in discourse but it's toward the end of his pit thread.

Click the picture of the two chain links at the bottom left of a post and copy the link.

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oc...r/815550/1093?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

... THE BIRKS WOULD FETCH SERIOUS BANK FROM A MYCOLOGIST!!!

OK now that's just nasty. Hilarious, but nasty.

[Someone]

My Birks are starting to resemble what might be found on the feet of some stone age man found in a peat bog.

I'd post a pic. But nah.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Some of the heaps of stuff I have actually does have value. A few months ago, I sold a Magic card that I bought twenty years or so ago. At the time, it came in a pack of ten cards for $2. I sold it for $500. I'm genuinely working on selling most of the valuable items.

Again, I wouldn't expect the average person to know what has resale value and what doesn't. I certainly wouldn't expect them to know what otherwise worthless items have strong sentimental value. If you want to clean my apartment, you must be on my list of trustables. To quote Dale Gribble "It's a short list. I'm not even on it!"

The difference in your case is you're willing to separate the wheat from the chaff and do what's needed to get the good out of it, instead of calling some random name out of the yellow pages and complaining about it after the fact.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

My Birks are starting to resemble what might be found on the feet of some stone age man found in a peat bog.

I'd post a pic. But nah.

For which we're all grateful, I'm sure

[Someone]

Hey, guys! Dim_B came up with this really awesome joke.

Originally Posted by Someone

A little while ago. But I am still pretty certain that it's mine alone.

*So a man is selling pencils on a street corner. And another man walks up to him. 'How much are your pencils?' the other man asks. 'A million dollars.' 'Oh! People aren't going to buy pencils for 'a million dollars'!' 'I know that,' the man selling pencils replies. 'But just think, if I sell even one, I'll be rich!'*

Well, I'm not a professional joke writer. Hey, you know this would be an excellent joke if someone needs a good clean joke to break the ice. A minister or priest. Or maybe someone giving a speech.

Anyone else ever come up with a joke? Share it here. Please.

:slight_smile:

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-...a-joke/929892?

🤣

[Someone]

":slight_smile:"

Holy crap that's cringy.

[Someone]

You think that's cringy.

I guess anyone who knows me, knows that I have a number of theories I like to share. And I am sorry to say some 6 of my theories haven’t been received as well as I would like perhaps.

Anyways, I sometimes think of advanced civilizations. And this could be added to Fermi’s Paradox too, I think.

Advanced ET’s who are carnivores by nature would be just too violent. And I think they would nuke themselves to death before they ventured beyond their solar system. (I have to tell you that I have noticed cats [known carnivores] are pretty nice, at least in my experience. But they have clearly been ‘domesticated’.)

Vegan ET’s would be much more merciful I think. But sometimes that is not always a good thing. Plus they might overpopulate.

But omnivores make the hard decisions and get stuff done. They are merciful when the situation calls for it. But they also know when it doesn’t. They kick ass, if you’ll pardon my French.

Am I wrong? And what do you think of my theory? And I just have to ask: has anyone else ever come up with a similar theory?

:slight_smile:

Another slight smile...

Here it be.

[Someone]

Those ETs were already thought up by Larry Niven 50 years ago, right down to the vegan overpopulation angle.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

asahi is a legit nutbar, and genuinely thinks Trump and his minions have been planning some kind of orange-tinted hamberder-hall putsch for the last five years in intimate detail. I put the dude on ignore ages ago.

While I don't think they've been planning it for five years or in intimate detail, I'd like to point out that "orange-tinted hamberder-hall putsch" is a pretty good description of what just happened; at least, with the word "attempted" added on to it.

[Someone]

Some folks on the durp are calling it the "Beer Belly Putsch". I like it.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

While I don't think they've been planning it for five years or in intimate detail, I'd like to point out that "orange-tinted hamberder-hall putsch" is a pretty good description of what just happened; at least, with the word "attempted" added on to it.

The beer hall putsch failed too. Hitler even ended up in jail. So the word "attempted" isn't needed for an accurate description.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

As long as he doesn't slither on over here.

On the upside, the mod actions and ensuing uproar in ATMB from the usual suspects will be a snark goldmine.

We're allowed to abuse him over here.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

asahi is a legit nutbar, and genuinely thinks Trump and his minions have been planning some kind of orange-tinted hamberder-hall putsch for the last five years in intimate detail. I put the dude on ignore ages ago.

Was going to post "Well, this didn't age well". But then I noticed you posted that YESTERDAY. What the fuck is wrong with you?

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

":slight_smile:"

Holy crap that's cringy.

And not at all original. I remember very similar jokes from when I was a kid over 40 years ago.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

The thread on the Capital siege is providing some good snark. Octopus is doing his usual trolling, asahi wants to enact Reconstruction II and declare all the protestors non-citizens -- it's got it all!

(IIRC, asahi once expressed a wish that something really bad would happen in order to destroy Trump, or something of that nature. Or maybe I'm thinking of something else. I'm horrid with names. Seriously. I remember incidents, but I can never remember who caused it, goddammit)

I basically agree with asahi, except about declaring them non-citizens. In the first place, it's unconstitutional. The whole point of Reconstruction was to affirm that the Confederates were in fact US citizens, had never ceased to be US citizens during their five years of cosplay, and as such were subject to penalties under US law, including the loss of voting rights.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

I remember very similar jokes from when I was a kid over 40 years ago.

Dude, you were born old and curmudgeonly. And I admire that.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

And not at all original. I remember very similar jokes from when I was a kid over 40 years ago.

I remember reading that one in Boys' Life magazine. (IIRC, their joke page is titled "Think and Grin," which evidently implies that you won't immediately get these lame gags.)

[Someone]

I never followed lissener all that closely but I feel for him a bit in that hoarding thread. When you're trying to dig yourself out of the deepest pits of depression, it's very easy to make poor decisions, even when they're attempts to make positive changes. Sometimes especially then.

[Someone]

Just like ace claimed to have invented the Arnold Palmer -- remember that one?

[Someone]

At least he admitted that it wasn't his original idea once he was shown the evidence unlike most Durps.

[Someone]

Originally Posted by Someone

Was going to post "Well, this didn't age well". But then I noticed you posted that YESTERDAY. What the fuck is wrong with you?

I meant that asahi thinks this stuff was a deliberate, planned conspiracy involving the whole administration, and not mob violence incited by an enabled lunatic. Sorry if I was unclear. It's been a shitty week and I don't mean to inflame discussion of this.